# Should I fight for my friendship? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 18, 2011, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-fight-for-my-friendship/578824 "2011-04-18T13:05:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2011, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-fight-for-my-friendship/578824/41 "2011-04-21T22:10:02Z")
> [@bump](#): > > It makes me sad, but what else could I have done? Did you read my post? šŸ˜‰ ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2011, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-fight-for-my-friendship/578824/42 "2011-04-22T01:57:52Z")
> [@Carol\_the\_Impaler](#): > > Totally. To the max?:dubious: > [@bump](#): > > It makes me sad, but what else could I have done? I love you Bro Namath. It happens. I used to be really good friends with this guy I worked with. We were ok friends when we worked together, hanging out for lunch or drinks after work. But we became really good friends when I was laid off a few years ago. We are about the same age (mid to late 30s) and between his recent divorce and me hating my new job, we sort of regressed into a sort of 20 something dumbass mentality. Playing a lot of videogames, up late drinking and going to stripclubs and whatnot. Even after he got married, we were still very close as we could now double date with my girlfriend. But, over the past 18 months or so, weā€™ve sort of drifted apart. A combination of him moving out of the city, the fact that our SOs donā€™t really have much in common, a desire on both our parts to scale back the partying, even a change in our job situations have altered the dynamic of the relationship. There is also the fact that he is a serial cheater with whatever woman he is with, including his current wife. Makes it awkward because we canā€™t really double date. And he has a bit of a tendency to ā€œhold courtā€ wherever we go, if you know what I mean. And we always go to the same freakin spots. Weā€™re still friends and hang out time to time, but now instead of being BFFs itā€™s more like a pool of us just sort of meet up randomly at our usual spots whenever. Bottom line is we basically just sort of exhausted the relationship. Sort of like a game you really liked that you look back fondly on and might play from time to time, but you just donā€™t have that excitement anymore. ---
**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2011, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-fight-for-my-friendship/578824/43 "2011-04-22T02:40:19Z")
I will usually make two or three attempts at communication. If I donā€™t get a response, I drop the person, or assume theyā€™ve dropped me. Iā€™ve had a few internet/RL friends who seemed to be my friends when they needed emotional support (oneā€™s mother was dying, for example). After the grief eased, they stopped communicating. I guess I was no longer needed. StG ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2011, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-fight-for-my-friendship/578824/44 "2011-04-22T03:06:16Z")
> [@StGermain](#): > > I will usually make two or three attempts at communication. If I donā€™t get a response, I drop the person, or assume theyā€™ve dropped me. Iā€™ve had a few internet/RL friends who seemed to be my friends when they needed emotional support (oneā€™s mother was dying, for example). After the grief eased, they stopped communicating. I guess I was no longer needed. > > StG In your case itā€™s easy, youā€™ll just have to kill his father ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2011, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-fight-for-my-friendship/578824/45 "2011-04-22T05:39:10Z")
> [@PunditLisa](#): > > You really do have an odd perspective on women. I like reading **msmithā€™s** posts on women and dating and stuff - itā€™s a fascinating look into a completely different world. šŸ™‚ ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2011, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-fight-for-my-friendship/578824/46 "2011-07-13T01:52:36Z")
> [@Orville\_mogul](#): > > Seems to be a pretty strong majority opinion here that it is a lost cause. > > That said, I think I am going to put on my thickest skin, swallow my pride and prepare to be shot down, but will give it one more shot. > > I will try one more time to see if we can get together and see what happens. But I will follow one bit of advice and will avoid the ā€˜whatā€™s up?ā€™ part. No point challenging him. I will just propose getting together and see what happens. > > I should mention that in response to a facebook message I sent Dave a month ago he did tell me to come see his band play. I wasnā€™t able to go, but perhaps that shows it isnā€™t a complete cold shoulderā€¦ Update? Also, I would like to say that inviting somebody to come hear your band play isnā€™t a token of friendship. My best friend had a gig in a club, and he called everybody that he knew in High School, 30 plus years earlier, whom he had never even seen in the ensuing period, to come see him play. Nuff said, methinks. Best wishes, hh ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2011, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-fight-for-my-friendship/578824/47 "2011-07-13T05:44:33Z")
What was that word you used? ā€¦ ā€œpatheticā€ā€¦ Yup, thatā€™s it. Move on. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-fight-for-my-friendship/578824.md?page=2)