# Should I get a cleaning lady? (And how?) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 24, 2009, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-get-a-cleaning-lady-and-how/500845 "2009-06-24T16:04:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2009, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-get-a-cleaning-lady-and-how/500845/21 "2009-06-24T19:46:49Z")
Oh, it isn’t my leg in a cast that created the mess - I’ve always been a mega-slob. It’s some kind of brain poison, I guess, because I’m not one of those people who can’t see the mess - I see it, I hate it, but somehow I don’t do anything about it. I have been hitherto unable to develop clean habits - I’ll bust my ass cleaning a hugely messy room over a weekend, and then it will drift back. I don’t know why, honestly - I didn’t grow up in a messy house (well, except my room, of course), I just… don’t clean stuff. Maybe it’s just time to pay somebody else to do it for me. ---
**Author:** ![Markxxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@Markxxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Markxxx)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2009, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-get-a-cleaning-lady-and-how/500845/22 "2009-06-24T19:56:03Z")
Cleaning people have seen mega-messes before, it doesn’t phase them. But do expect to pay more. Cleaning people (and there are men too) do “heavy, regular and light” cleaning. They often charge for more. I have known people who do this and “heavy cleaning” is more, but it can take a day and it involves windows, moving furniture etc. Many people have their cleaner come in twice a month for heavy and then once a week for regular and every other day for light or some combination of. The absolute best way to hire someone is through a recommendation. The other thing you might want to try is an ad or post on a student bulletin board. Students always need quick cash and they do good work. Though it’s politically incorrect, I found the Polish people in my neighborhood are great at cleaning. So don’t forget immigrant communities. You don’t need to speak English to do a good job. Of course you want to make sure they are legal. Housekeeping personnel have seen it all, but do expect to pay more if you have more of a mess. Like after a party etc. ---
**Author:** ![Ruminator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Ruminator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruminator)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2009, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-get-a-cleaning-lady-and-how/500845/23 "2009-06-24T20:05:14Z")
> [@Jodi](#): > > What I keep hearing is “I just can’t do it, I can’t make myself be any other way.” Yet clearly you (and others) are not happy with how you’re living. So . . . Is there a pathological component to this? I’m _seriously_ not being judgey, but I truly, honestly don’t get it. Probably a pathological component but I think it’s something we all suffer… it’s just that the symptoms manifest itself differently for different folks. Life has an endless list of things that take 1 minute but all of us can’t do every one of them. For example, people at the office will often ask me about X instead of typing their qeustion into google and finding the answer themselves. It would take them LESS THAN ONE MINUTE to read the answer vs find me and having me verbally regurgitate what’s already in google. The key here is that it makes no difference whatsoever that the task itself is 1 minute, the roadblock is READING GOOGLE. But those same people that won’t spend 1 minute reading google will easily take 1 minute to pick up a cockroach off the floor and put it in the trash. So we all have different “1-minute” tasks that we avoid. There are thousands of these 1-minute tasks… I can’t imagine a single human cocky enough to brag that he does all of them. It only takes 1-minute to inhale very deeply and exhale slowly for maximum relaxation and concentration… lots of people don’t even bother doing that! So for me… I can say I’m the type that would pick up the cockroach and I will also spend the 1 minute to search google. My weakness is making voice phone calls. I absolutely hate picking up the phone and dialing a number to waiting for someone to answer. Even if calling the dentist to reschedule an appointment only takes 1-minute, I always end up waiting until the last minute. I just hate the phone. I’m certainly not happy that I get paralyzed with phone hassles but that’s my pathological problem. ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2009, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-get-a-cleaning-lady-and-how/500845/24 "2009-06-24T20:14:30Z")
If you’re having trouble keeping up with the litter box, I’ve got some recommendations for you: If your cat(s) will tolerate a covered litter box, [Omega Paw Roll ‘n’ Clean](http://www.omegapaw.com/RollnCleanReg.html) is great. You roll it over and back once a day, and empty the drawer once a week (for us with two cats). No scooping required. If your cats won’t tolerate a covered litter box, the Litter Maid automatic box is not quite as nice as the Omega Paw (it does have a tendency to break), but it beats scooping a litter box. > [@Ruminator](#): > > I just hate the phone Me too. Damn noisy instrument, startling me when it rings. And usually either some stupid telemarketer or somebody wanting me to do something on the other end, too. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2009, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-get-a-cleaning-lady-and-how/500845/25 "2009-06-24T20:20:21Z")
I actually have a Litter Robot. It broke. I fixed it. It’s still on the porch. (See: dead roach.) ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2009, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-get-a-cleaning-lady-and-how/500845/26 "2009-06-24T20:21:04Z")
I’m right there with you honey! Only I don’t see the mess. I can literally step over the mess 10 times a day and it never registers in my brain except as something not to trip over. I’m convinced it’s genetic. My Father can not sit down and relax if he knows there is a cigarette butt in an ashtray in the kitchen. He has to throw it out. Then he can’t relax until the trash is taken out, because there is ewwwww! something actually _in_ the trash can!!! I do feel enormously happy when I come home and the house is all clean and organized though. It’s a great feeling. I like everything to be out where I can see it. I’ll never understand people who put the toaster in a cupboard between uses. Do they seriously have time to get it out and plug it in every time they use it? If I had that much time I’d be making french toast! Anyhoo, I’ve hired a housekeeper throughout my adult life any time I could afford it. It’s hit or miss, and you have to be willing to let someone go occasionally. It’s painful, because these folks will become a part of your life. Just be honest and upfront. Be willing to let them take control a bit, (i.e. designate a place where certain objects belong) and they in turn will treat your home as their own. I’ve never understood neat people who use a cleaning service. If I had time to pick up all the toys and wash all the dishes, I’d certainly have time to vacuum and wipe the counters. That’s the easy part! It takes, like, an hour to _clean_ the whole house. It’s the clutter that’s so overwhelming. Back to the OP - you can hire an organizer first, but my preference is to look until I find a housekeeper who is willing to do it. You’ll need to pay extra for the first 3-4 visits, while they slowly whip things into shape. You’d also want to be there for the first one or two and work through the organization together. This will be mega tough, you may need Valium. (No, I mean it.) If the person is judgemental or makes you feel bad in any way just pay them for the trip and send them on their way. You need someone who can be understanding and supportive, and help you live a happier life. Shame is not helpful, so don’t pay anyone to bring it into your home. It is definitely worth doing though, especially if your place is continuing to get worse. The slide to Grey Gardens picks up speed quickly! The worse it gets, the more isolated you become and it really affects your social life after a while. I’ve tried to do it myslef and it’s just a waste of time. I can work all weekend and not have the place looking as good as they do in two hours. I have no idea how they do it. So I fall back on the parable of the talents. I use the talents I posess in the best way possible to support myself, my family, and my fellow man, and hire other folks to use their talents where needed. There’s no moral failing here, just a difference of talents. ---
**Author:** ![Labrador\_Deceiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Labrador\_Deceiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labrador_Deceiver)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2009, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-get-a-cleaning-lady-and-how/500845/27 "2009-06-24T20:25:34Z")
> [@Jodi](#): > > And I do have to tell you that for the vast majority of people I know with cleaning people or services, part of the value of it is that _you_, the homeowner, have to pick up the night before they come, so that they will be able to do their work (which they really can’t if stuff is strewn everywhere) and so they will not know the awful truth about the daily squalor in which the clients (including me, heck, almost all of us) live. It forces the homeowner to pick up every week, before things can get out of hand. IOW, even if you stepped over the dead bug for a week, most people would pick it up themselves the night before the cleaning lady comes, rather than let her know they’ve been stepping over it for a week. So expeciting a cleaning person to pick up the slack in the organizing /putting stuff away area may not be realistic. This, 1000%. The other thing you can do to get your house cleaned up is put it on the market. Don’t worry, it won’t sell in this economy, but you’ll be forced to make it spic & span a couple times a week when someone wants to see it. Seriously, though, a “maid” basically forces you to keep your place clean. Don’t get a service, find someone you know who can recommend an independent house cleaner who will become like family over a few years. That’s the ideal set up. You can’t cancel on them, and you must keep the place clean so they can do their work. Plus, they’ll charge less and do a better job. What you’re looking for is a cleaning lady who is referred to by name. You’ll hear people say things like “I wouldn’t give up Patricia if we went bankrupt.” ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2009, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-get-a-cleaning-lady-and-how/500845/28 "2009-06-24T20:34:56Z")
Well, we can (and need to) do the Big Clean ourselves. I mean, it’s never successfully been accomplished, but it’s got to be at least theoretically possible. What’s left would probably still be heavy cleaning, but not so much organizing. I don’t think it would even help to have somebody helping, because it’s not like they even know what this crap is, you know? ---
**Author:** ![lavenderviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/cdc98d/32.png) [@lavenderviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lavenderviolet)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2009, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-get-a-cleaning-lady-and-how/500845/29 "2009-06-24T20:58:19Z")
I think there is nothing wrong with being honest with yourself about the fact that, for whatever reason, you are never going to keep things clean enough on your own and that your quality of life will be better if you can have someone else clean it up for you. That’s vastly better than just living with the mess and letting it get worse while thinking “Someday” you will get around to cleaning it up. Plus you probably realize that frequently seeing one roach means there are more still lurking around that need to be dealt with, so that’s one good reason to get things cleaned up ASAP even if it means hiring someone else. You really don’t even need to do any clean up ahead of time. There actually are cleaning services that specifically deal with severe messes like hoarders’ homes. This place is based in CA but offers to connect hoarders with local companies who do that sort of cleanup: [http://www.hoardingcleanup.com](http://www.hoardingcleanup.com) (or you could try googling “Hoarding Clean-up” and your own city to see what comes up…it appears that many companies that do crime scene clean ups are also willing to clean up after hoarders). ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2009, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-get-a-cleaning-lady-and-how/500845/30 "2009-06-24T21:01:26Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > Well, we can (and need to) do the Big Clean ourselves. I mean, it’s never successfully been accomplished, but it’s got to be at least theoretically possible. What’s left would probably still be heavy cleaning, but not so much organizing. I don’t think it would even help to have somebody helping, because it’s not like they even know what this crap is, you know? Not the Big Clean, the Big Throwaway. Once you’ve gotten rid of stuff you don’t need and put the rest in an appropiate place, the cleaning service is much better at windows and carpets and curtains than you are! ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2009, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-get-a-cleaning-lady-and-how/500845/31 "2009-06-24T21:02:44Z")
Great, thanks. “Oh, no, lady. You need one of them companies that cleans up people who have rotted on the floor.” ---
**Author:** ![Caffeine.addict](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f475e1/32.png) [@Caffeine.addict](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caffeine.addict)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2009, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-get-a-cleaning-lady-and-how/500845/32 "2009-06-24T21:28:54Z")
I had a cleaning lady who was really flaky but if she showed up would clean the hell out of the house. It took her two visits to really clean everything, by which I mean she moved furniture and even appliances to clean. She was unreliable and eventually quit as I knew she would. (She had worked for my folks ten years prior) I see nothing wrong with having a cleaning lady. It is cheaper than a divorce attorney and it saves us time on the weekends that we can use for other things. ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2009, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-get-a-cleaning-lady-and-how/500845/33 "2009-06-24T21:56:51Z")
> [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](#): > > Un-done housework can come from any number of reasons. Sometimes it’s just exhaustion/depression: you know what needs to be done, you just can’t drum up the energy to deal with it. Sometimes it’s stubbornness: that’s _his/her_ mess and I’ll be damned before I clean up after his/her lazy ass. Sometimes it’s temporary physical incapacity like Zsofia’s leg-in-a-cast. Sometimes in your busy life the amount of clutter just creeps up on you, and you realize you mother is coming for a visit next week and every surface in the house is covered with bits of paper you need to file or books you’re going to read. The first two of those sound like problems that might merit other types of assistance that cleaning, which was I was asking about in the first place. The last pre-supposes you’re not aware of the mess or not bugged by it, it’s “just creeping up on you.” That’s not the sort of “I hate this but I do it anyway” inertia that I’m talking about. ---
**Author:** ![TheMadHun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@TheMadHun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheMadHun)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2009, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-get-a-cleaning-lady-and-how/500845/34 "2009-06-25T16:15:20Z")
I hated having a cleaning lady. She came with the house we rented overseas, and we couldn’t let her go because we were only there a couple of months. But she would pile all of my desk and credenza papers in one huge stack every morning, no matter how I begged her not to. Because “you can’t remove dust any other way”. She insisted on starting the day at 7am vacuuming. And she would get upset when I laid my own fire, put dishes in the dishwasher or tried to run a batch of clothes on her day off. It’s like she was the lady of the manor and I was the shiftless in-law. ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2009, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-get-a-cleaning-lady-and-how/500845/35 "2009-06-26T01:42:22Z")
You know, it’s okay for a cleaning person to think your house is gross–it’s how I fell in love with the lady who cleaned for us back when we lived in NC. We were doing the interview/estimate thing, and went into the kitchen, where she stood frowning at my sink before announcing, “This area need a lot of attention.” A woman who will say that during a job interview is a woman who will clean the everloving _shit_ out of your house. I miss her more than anything else about living there. I believe we found her through a flier, and I hung around the first few times she came to make sure the critters weren’t going to freak out, answer any questions, that sort of thing. The lady we have now, we found through a referral from someone my husband works with. I love her, too, possibly even more than I loved Masako. I came home for lunch one day and found her _vacuuming the wainscoting_ in the hallway. That would absolutely never have occurred to me. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2009, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-get-a-cleaning-lady-and-how/500845/36 "2009-06-26T03:54:33Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > Well, we can (and need to) do the Big Clean ourselves. I mean, it’s never successfully been accomplished, but it’s got to be at least theoretically possible. What’s left would probably still be heavy cleaning, but not so much organizing. I don’t think it would even help to have somebody helping, because it’s not like they even know what this crap is, you know? Having the helper means it gets done this time. And really, it makes sucha difference. You can sit onthe sofa and they bring you a stack/box of things to sort. You have four stacks: Toss, giveaway, keep and sell. They do the running aorund, taking things down to the trash at intervals, make the trip to Goodwill, etc. And occasionally when you’re hesitant they give you that gentle push . . . Yes, you have to do the sorting, but that’s not the exhausting part. (At leats not physically.) It’s the moving stuff around and getting it out the door once you’ve decided. Tell the truth, have you never set something(s) aside for the trash or GoodWill that got slowly reincorporated because you never go them past the front door? [Raises hand guiltily] ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2009, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-get-a-cleaning-lady-and-how/500845/37 "2009-06-26T14:24:18Z")
Well, there’s this bag to go to Goodwill, from the last Cleaning Crusade… at least nothing has made its way OUT of the bag, so that’s good, right? ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2009, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-get-a-cleaning-lady-and-how/500845/38 "2009-06-26T14:28:35Z")
What I’m thinking I might actually do: I know from experience that I can get “The Public House Areas” clean on my own - kitchen, dining room, living room. So let’s get that clean in the next two weekends. Hopefully also Hallway and Bathroom (or at least Hallway, and the maid can do Bathroom.) Then, so that we don’t backslide, we hire Cleaning Lady and we don’t backslide, because she’s cleaning those areas that are now clean every two weeks or whatever. Maybe even every week while we’re learning how to do this. Meanwhile, we get to work on the areas of the house that have NEVER been clean - the bedrooms and office. And we have incentive, because the rest of the house will be so nice that we’ll want to let the cleaning lady in. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2009, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-get-a-cleaning-lady-and-how/500845/39 "2009-06-26T18:03:46Z")
Just so you guys know, I finally picked up the dead roach. I did it because I was nagging my boyfriend not to pick up the motherfucking glasses and just put them in the sink, but to unload the damned dishwasher and put dirty dishes in it instead because I am not the maid, and he said “well FINE, why don’t you pick up that ass-nasty dead roach on the floor?” and I said “are your arms broken?” and he said, “I’m unloading the dishwasher, pfffft” and I said “FINE.” So I picked up the roach and he loaded the dishwasher for the first time in this house. 🙂 We’re seriously not usually like that, we both just have this inexplicable resentment towards having to clean up after ourselves. He thinks it’s ridiculous to hire a cleaning lady. Ha! ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2009, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-get-a-cleaning-lady-and-how/500845/40 "2009-06-26T18:40:45Z")
> [@Labrador\_Deceiver](#): > > This, 1000%. The other thing you can do to get your house cleaned up is put it on the market. Don’t worry, it won’t sell in this economy, but you’ll be forced to make it spic & span a couple times a week when someone wants to see it. > > Seriously, though, a “maid” basically forces you to keep your place clean. Don’t get a service, find someone you know who can recommend an independent house cleaner who will become like family over a few years. That’s the ideal set up. You can’t cancel on them, and you must keep the place clean so they can do their work. Plus, they’ll charge less and do a better job. > > What you’re looking for is a cleaning lady who is referred to by name. You’ll hear people say things like “I wouldn’t give up Patricia if we went bankrupt.” Another vote for this. We got a service when my mother-in-law broke her hip and my wife’s parents stayed a few months longer than expected. We just stopped them, because the Roomba was doing most of the work more often than once every two weeks - and better. One of two things will happen if you have a cluttered house. First, you’ll be embarrassed that someone is going to see it, and clean. Second, you’ll be embarrassed and cancel the cleaning service until you clean up. If they come anyhow, things will vanish into unknown places. Even with uncluttering, my bathroom items wound up in all sorts of drawers. I agree that a reference is best, but get someone bonded if you can’t do that. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-get-a-cleaning-lady-and-how/500845.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-get-a-cleaning-lady-and-how/500845.md?page=3)