You might want to look very closely at the rest of the details between both plans.
e.g. both an HDHP and a regular plan will have a deductible up to which they pay zero. Then they’ll have another number up to which they’ll pay e.g. 80% and you pay 20%. Then there’s finally a number called out-of-pocket maximum above which they pick up 100%.
Your true worst case exposure is the OOP max. For each of you. Plus some co-pays. And that’s true for both HDHP and non-HDHP plans. Compare those numbers (net of premium savings and employer matching) to understand the worst case. Don’t just compare the deductibles.
For my employer, the deductibles are quite different while the OOP maxima are much closer than you’d expect.