# Should I get him back or just let it go? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 19, 2011, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-get-him-back-or-just-let-it-go/603490 "2011-11-19T22:01:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2011, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-get-him-back-or-just-let-it-go/603490/41 "2011-11-20T20:09:34Z")
I’m just curious, what sort of plan do you have to “get back at him”? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2011, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-get-him-back-or-just-let-it-go/603490/42 "2011-11-20T20:26:32Z")
Does it involve a pet rabbit and a pot of boiling water? ---
**Author:** ![slm2955](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c6cbf5/32.png) [@slm2955](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slm2955)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2011, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-get-him-back-or-just-let-it-go/603490/43 "2011-11-20T23:45:22Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > Yup. > And the point is that he was playing a game to hurt you and make himself feel good because he was able to play someone and hurt them. You’re not going to make a sociopath (one incapable of empathy and conscience) feel bad about himself. > > So if you go out of your way to demonstrate that he did hurt you. > > He wins again. > > Hahaha, I really did hurt that psycho bitch, I win again! > > Yeah, that works out so well, doesn’t it? LOL true you have a point ---
**Author:** ![slm2955](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c6cbf5/32.png) [@slm2955](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slm2955)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2011, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-get-him-back-or-just-let-it-go/603490/44 "2011-11-20T23:46:30Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > I’m just curious, what sort of plan do you have to “get back at him”? 😕 I \*was \*going to make a fake online profile and try to deceive him but I don’t think that’s such a good Idea, b/c it could backfire and make me look worse:eek: ---
**Author:** ![slm2955](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c6cbf5/32.png) [@slm2955](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slm2955)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2011, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-get-him-back-or-just-let-it-go/603490/45 "2011-11-20T23:48:03Z")
Once again, thanks to everyone who posted…I’ve decided to take the high road and just move on with my life…it’s not worth it, he’s not worth it. ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2011, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-get-him-back-or-just-let-it-go/603490/46 "2011-11-21T02:50:40Z")
> [@slm2955](#): > > Once again, thanks to everyone who posted…I’ve decided to take the high road and just move on with my life…it’s not worth it, he’s not worth it. Good to hear. I’ll say the same as everybody else–let it go, and move on. Living well is the best revenge. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2011, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-get-him-back-or-just-let-it-go/603490/47 "2011-11-21T05:19:55Z")
Just read this thread by the same OP: > [@Visiting someone in the hospital?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visiting-someone-in-the-hospital/603595/1): > > I have a question: today an acquaintance got in a really bad car wreck, their car is totaled & they are in the hospital. Although, I am not really cool with this person, I still feel really bad and feel obligated to go and visit them…problem is if I go I would have to spend a good couple of minutes there and there’s not really much me and this person have to talk about(besides the accident)…so it would feel extremely awkward if I decide to go. Would it look really bad if I don’t go? Or should I just send something to let her know that I thought of her? OK, it’s a woman, but between her not being cool with the acquaintance and this thread, I wondered if she had second plans on not taking revenge… ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_T](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Gary\_T](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_T)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2011, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-get-him-back-or-just-let-it-go/603490/48 "2011-11-21T05:31:59Z")
> [@slm2955](#): > > Once again, thanks to everyone who posted…I’ve decided to take the high road and just move on with my life…it’s not worth it, he’s not worth it. This is wise, and I think you’ve made a good decision. It’s natural to feel hurt when we’ve been treated badly, and sometimes the feeling lasts for a while. This is normal. Still, the best gift you can give yourself is to forgive the offender. I know someone who still holds a grudge over something that happened more than 20 years ago! I can assure you, it’s torn him up way more than it’s had any effect on the other person. It’s a sad way to live. So, nurse the hurt for a reasonable time, move on as you’ve stated, and your life will be the better for it. You may even see this dipwad on the receiving end of karma someday, but even if you don’t, just enjoying your life without being dragged down by negative feelings is a fine way to live. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_T](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Gary\_T](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_T)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2011, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-get-him-back-or-just-let-it-go/603490/49 "2011-11-21T05:34:11Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > OK, it’s a woman, but between her not being cool with the acquaintance and this thread, I wondered if she had second plans on not taking revenge… I am totally not following you here. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2011, 7:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-get-him-back-or-just-let-it-go/603490/50 "2011-11-21T07:12:49Z")
> [@Ellen\_Cherry](#): > > Mr. Tove, please don’t advocate for doing harm to another person via improper use of prescription drugs. > … > > Ellen Does one need a prescription for a baseball bat? ---
**Author:** ![BeaMyra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/2bfe46/32.png) [@BeaMyra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BeaMyra)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2011, 11:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-get-him-back-or-just-let-it-go/603490/51 "2011-11-21T11:34:45Z")
> [@slm2955](#): > > Ok, there’s this guy I have been seeing who I found out was a big FAT PHONY and wanted nothing more than to play and embarrass me by pretending he was into me. I want to give him a piece of his medicine **SO BAD** and let him no that I’m a force to be reckoned with but a part of me is telling me to just let it go…thoughts?😕 There’s an old saying, “Two wrongs don’t make a right.” Of course there’s another saying “Sometimes two wrongs cancel each other out.” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2011, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-get-him-back-or-just-let-it-go/603490/52 "2011-11-21T12:13:43Z")
> [@Gary\_T](#): > > I am totally not following you here. Well, she talked about getting revenge and now she’s going to visit someone in the hospital who had an accident…on first glance it sort of looked like this was the guy from the OP. ---
**Author:** ![6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/e19adc/32.png) [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2011, 12:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-get-him-back-or-just-let-it-go/603490/53 "2011-11-21T12:18:47Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > Does one need a prescription for a baseball bat? No. One needs an alibi. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_T](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Gary\_T](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_T)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2011, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-get-him-back-or-just-let-it-go/603490/54 "2011-11-21T14:39:35Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > Just read this thread by the same OP: > > OK, **it’s a woman** , but between her not being cool with the acquaintance and this thread, I wondered if she had second plans on not taking revenge… [Bolding mine] > [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > Well, she talked about getting revenge and now she’s going to visit someone in the hospital who had an accident…on first glance it sort of looked like this was the guy from the OP. Okay, but on second glance it seems you noticed the person in the hospital was a woman, thus not the guy in the OP, so I’m wondering why mention it at all? (Not meaning to give you a hard time, it just doesn’t make sense to me.) ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2011, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-get-him-back-or-just-let-it-go/603490/55 "2011-11-21T15:02:40Z")
I just read that other thread right after this one and when I noticed it was the same OP, it got me thinking. I didn’t realize it was a woman till I read the OP the second time so it seemed way freakier in my head than it actually was I suppose. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2011, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-get-him-back-or-just-let-it-go/603490/56 "2011-11-21T19:47:51Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > Does one need a prescription for a baseball bat? As Chris Isaak says, “I don’t need a lawyer to do the job of a two-by-four.” ---
**Author:** ![StusBlues](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@StusBlues](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StusBlues)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2011, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-get-him-back-or-just-let-it-go/603490/57 "2011-11-21T20:12:45Z")
> [@slm2955](#): > > Ok, there’s this guy I have been seeing who I found out was a big FAT PHONY and wanted nothing more than to play and embarrass me by pretending he was into me. I want to give him a piece of his medicine **SO BAD** and let him no that I’m a force to be reckoned with but a part of me is telling me to just let it go…thoughts?😕 Creatively-placed dead fish have been known to work wonders. ---
**Author:** ![Blaster\_Master](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/cab0a1/32.png) [@Blaster\_Master](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blaster_Master)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2011, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-get-him-back-or-just-let-it-go/603490/58 "2011-11-21T20:56:32Z")
If he is only interested in playing you and embarassing you, the best thing to do is to just end it now. And if you DO want your revenge, there’s nothing better you can do than that either. You walking away BEFORE you get played and embarassed means that he failed and thus lost. Any kind other sort of reaction, whether its particularly emotional response or an attempt at revenge means that you were ultimately played and embarassed because it got to you, and though he may not have succeeded in whatever his end goal was, he at least got something. ---
**Author:** ![slm2955](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c6cbf5/32.png) [@slm2955](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slm2955)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2011, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-get-him-back-or-just-let-it-go/603490/59 "2011-11-22T03:11:44Z")
> [@Blaster\_Master](#): > > If he is only interested in playing you and embarassing you, the best thing to do is to just end it now. And if you DO want your revenge, there’s nothing better you can do than that either. You walking away BEFORE you get played and embarassed means that he failed and thus lost. _ **Any kind other sort of reaction, whether its particularly emotional response or an attempt at revenge means that you were ultimately played and embarassed because it got to you, and though he may not have succeeded in whatever his end goal was, he at least got somethin** _g. So true, can’t give him that satisfaction:( ---
**Author:** ![slm2955](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c6cbf5/32.png) [@slm2955](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slm2955)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2011, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-get-him-back-or-just-let-it-go/603490/60 "2011-11-22T03:12:49Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > Well, she talked about getting revenge and now she’s going to visit someone in the hospital who had an accident… **on first glance it sort of looked like this was the guy from the OP**. Nah, I didn’t want to do physical damage to him, just emotional. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-get-him-back-or-just-let-it-go/603490.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-get-him-back-or-just-let-it-go/603490.md?page=4)