# Should I go to daughter's Shakespeare play? (need answer fast :) ) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 27, 2012, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-go-to-daughters-shakespeare-play-need-answer-fast/639057 "2012-10-27T17:28:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Polerius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/d78d45/32.png) [@Polerius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polerius)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2012, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-go-to-daughters-shakespeare-play-need-answer-fast/639057/1 "2012-10-27T17:28:08Z")
Background: I have gone to and enjoyed many performances that my daughter takes part in: piano recitals, dance shows, art, etc. One thing I have found I don’t enjoy is kids doing Shakespeare (even with adults, it takes top-notch actors to make Shakespeare worthwhile, IMO) So, I’m thinking of skipping her latest Shakespeare play. Apparently, according to a friend, that makes me a bad dad. What say you? (FYI, she’s in high school. Also, her mom will be attending) ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2012, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-go-to-daughters-shakespeare-play-need-answer-fast/639057/2 "2012-10-27T17:28:59Z")
Of course you have to go. Try to have a good time. ---
**Author:** ![Sateryn76](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Sateryn76](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sateryn76)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2012, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-go-to-daughters-shakespeare-play-need-answer-fast/639057/3 "2012-10-27T17:30:09Z")
Ask your daughter. What does she think? That’s the only one whose opinion counts. ---
**Author:** ![Stringer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Stringer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stringer)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2012, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-go-to-daughters-shakespeare-play-need-answer-fast/639057/4 "2012-10-27T17:31:53Z")
You should fake diarrhea instead of this pathetic excuse. ---
**Author:** ![Stratocaster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stratocaster/32/16393_2.png) [@Stratocaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stratocaster)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2012, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-go-to-daughters-shakespeare-play-need-answer-fast/639057/5 "2012-10-27T17:38:50Z")
You should go. Worst case, your daughter doesn’t really care and you burn a couple of hours. Best case, your daughter remembers that her dad came to see her on her big night. Man, if parents only went to their kids’ performances if they were assured of a top-notch performance, nobody would go to anything. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2012, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-go-to-daughters-shakespeare-play-need-answer-fast/639057/6 "2012-10-27T17:42:40Z")
This is even a question? Yes, you should go. And I thank gods there’s a delete key so you don’t have to read what I originally wrote. And 'cause I’d have gotten at \*least \*a Warning for it… ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2012, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-go-to-daughters-shakespeare-play-need-answer-fast/639057/7 "2012-10-27T17:48:28Z")
I’ll pile on. GO!!! ---
**Author:** ![Chanteuse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de053/32.png) [@Chanteuse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chanteuse)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2012, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-go-to-daughters-shakespeare-play-need-answer-fast/639057/8 "2012-10-27T17:50:01Z")
Of course you should go. It’s not about you being entertained, it’s about being there for her. How many events would we parents attend if we were looking only for our own gratification? Go. You might not find Broadway-worthy performances, but you can be proud of her, knowing the time and effort she has put into this and also just because she’s your daughter and you love her. And in years to come, you’ll never look back and say, “Damn, I wish I’d passed on that, it was such a waste.” ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2012, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-go-to-daughters-shakespeare-play-need-answer-fast/639057/9 "2012-10-27T17:50:43Z")
> [@Sateryn76](#): > > Ask your daughter. What does she think? That’s the only one whose opinion counts. This is the right answer. If she wants you there then you should go. ---
**Author:** ![njtt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecd19e/32.png) [@njtt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/njtt)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2012, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-go-to-daughters-shakespeare-play-need-answer-fast/639057/10 "2012-10-27T17:57:25Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > > [@](#): > > > > Originally Posted by **Sateryn** > > Ask your daughter. What does she think? That’s the only one whose opinion counts. > > This is the right answer. If she wants you there then you should go. Nonsense. By even asking, **Polerius** would be showing that he does not want to go, and implying (to her mind) that he does care about her. She might say “No, don’t bother,” but that does not mean she won’t be hurt, and if she says Yes" and he goes, he has still hurt her by implying he does not really want to. Asking is worse than just not going. **Polerius** , you need to go. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Plastic\_Ninja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f07891/32.png) [@Little\_Plastic\_Ninja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Plastic_Ninja)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2012, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-go-to-daughters-shakespeare-play-need-answer-fast/639057/11 "2012-10-27T18:00:11Z")
This isn’t about going to see a performance of “A Comedy of Errors” that will knock your socks off. This is about supporting your kid’s efforts. One evening out of your life won’t kill you. Also – “Dad, why didn’t you come see my play?” “Well, sweetie, I didn’t think it would be very good.” Yeah. Might want to avoid that. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2012, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-go-to-daughters-shakespeare-play-need-answer-fast/639057/12 "2012-10-27T18:01:19Z")
> [@njtt](#): > > Nonsense. By even asking, **Polerius** would be showing that he does not want to go, and implying (to her mind) that he does care about her. She might say “No, don’t bother,” but that does not mean she won’t be hurt, and if she says Yes" and he goes, he has still hurt her by implying he does not really want to. Asking is worse than just not going. > > **Polerius** , you need to go. I was assuming he had enough of a relationship with his daughter to be able to ask this without a problem. I’ve never had a teenage daughter though, so perhaps it’s not reasonable to assume that. ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2012, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-go-to-daughters-shakespeare-play-need-answer-fast/639057/13 "2012-10-27T18:03:28Z")
Come on, parents don’t get to just go to the things they’d enjoy if their kids weren’t participating. Otherwise there would be nobody at the band concerts, the interminable Little League games, the karate demonstrations, the talent shows. Etc. When you have grandchildren you can skip this stuff. Not now. ---
**Author:** ![Mrs.Cake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2acd7d/32.png) [@Mrs.Cake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mrs.Cake)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2012, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-go-to-daughters-shakespeare-play-need-answer-fast/639057/14 "2012-10-27T18:04:46Z")
I’m 50 years old. My parents sometimes skipped my school performances. I remember it with anger (okay, not much anymore) to this day. You should go. I remember one time when my dad did actually did show up to a Shakespeare play in which I was a major character. He was very impressed, vocally and at length, with one of the other actresses while barely noting my performance. Don’t do this either unless you want her recalling it while trying to be objective about choosing your nursing home. ---
**Author:** ![Aquadementia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aquadementia/32/555_2.png) [@Aquadementia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aquadementia)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2012, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-go-to-daughters-shakespeare-play-need-answer-fast/639057/15 "2012-10-27T18:21:47Z")
Ha! Who else is supposed to watch it? It’s not like there are childless people going “You know, I only like Shakespeare productions done by kids. I hope I can fit in that high school performance of Hamlet between a middle school classical music concert an a preschool ballet recital.” And if there are, they’re weird. You should have thought about all this before you had kids. You have got to take your Shakespeare like a man. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2012, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-go-to-daughters-shakespeare-play-need-answer-fast/639057/16 "2012-10-27T18:28:55Z")
Amateur productions of some Shakespeare plays can be charming. (IMO of course.) Hopefully the school has the sense not to try _Lear_ and to stick to something like _Romeo and Juliet_, or, even better, _A Midsummer Nights Dream._ ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2012, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-go-to-daughters-shakespeare-play-need-answer-fast/639057/17 "2012-10-27T18:29:01Z")
You should definitely go. And then write a scathing review of the performance for her school newspaper. In case it isn’t obvious, that’s a joke. Don’t really do that. Although, if it makes the play more enjoyable for you, you could sit there thinking about what you _would_ write in such a review. When my brother was in high school, he was in a teen production of _Romeo and Juliet_ that I thought was quite well done. But then, that particular one _should_ be done by teenagers. ---
**Author:** ![Taomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2012, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-go-to-daughters-shakespeare-play-need-answer-fast/639057/18 "2012-10-27T18:35:13Z")
This is one of the last times you’re going to be able to be there for your daughter. And, unlike toddler birthday parties, she WILL remember whether you went or not. ---
**Author:** ![Polerius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/d78d45/32.png) [@Polerius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polerius)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2012, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-go-to-daughters-shakespeare-play-need-answer-fast/639057/19 "2012-10-27T18:36:50Z")
Thanks for your responses. Based on the overwhelming consensus, I’ll be going. One more question: Does the obligation to go to every single performance of your children ever end? In college? After college? After they are 30? Does there come a point where you can safely skip a couple performances and not be considered a bad parent? I’m assuming the answer is that the obligation extends till at least the end of high school. Any other opinions? Just to clarify, I do go to almost all of her performances. I just thought that to skip one, especially when her mom will be there, would be OK. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2012, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-go-to-daughters-shakespeare-play-need-answer-fast/639057/20 "2012-10-27T18:46:33Z")
High school, you should go. Not to every performance of every show, but to a performance of every show. College, if it’s local (say, within 50 miles) you should go. Again, to a performance of each show. Particularly if you’re helping with tuition or living expenses, as that indicates a strong paternal relationship still exists between you. Paternal = patron. If she goes away to college, it becomes a bit more of a judgement call. Would I have expected my dad to come halfway across the country to see me play Chorus Girl #3? No. Fantine? Well, it would be nice. By which I mean, I wouldn’t ask, but I’d cry in my pillow a bit if you didn’t come. After school? Well, if my grown kid was doing community theater, I’d be there 'cause I know how dismal the audiences for that are, and I’d want to pad the crowd for her. If she was acting professionally, I’d be there 'cause I’d be living vicariously through her! 😃 But I think there’s a stronger argument to be made that we don’t expect our folks to support us once we’re working, and if/when it becomes her job to be on stage, you’re fairly safer from Bad Dad accusations if you don’t want to go. But you’ll gain Good Dad points if you do go - because at that point, it’s not an obligation, it’s a measure of your affection. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-go-to-daughters-shakespeare-play-need-answer-fast/639057.md?page=2)