# Should I hire a hooker? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 13, 2000, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-hire-a-hooker/29218 "2000-08-13T22:09:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2000, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-hire-a-hooker/29218/1 "2000-08-13T22:09:40Z")
In all seriousness, I’ve been considering it. It’s been so long since I got action of any kind that I’ve almost overcome my built in inhibitions against such a thing. Before you label me an amoral cad, let me give you the following details: -I am completely single. I’m not even dating anyone right now. -I would use a condom, maybe two at once, so as not to put myself or any of my future lovers at risk of VD. -I would not pick up some drug-addicted woman off the street but would call one of those numbers listed in the phonebook. So how about it? Should I? Shouldn’t I? Guys, under what circumstances would you do what I’m contemplating? Ladies, would you ever had anything to do with a guy who once hired a hooker? Is it less objectionable if I just get a bj, and don’t go all the way? ---
**Author:** ![FreakFreely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/48db29/32.png) [@FreakFreely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FreakFreely)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2000, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-hire-a-hooker/29218/2 "2000-08-13T22:17:13Z")
Whatever you do, keep the receipt, cuz those ladies can screw you in more ways than one. Service Desk: “Next!” Customer: “Uh, yeah, I’d like to return these crabs, they just weren’t what I was looking for.” Service Desk: “Do have the receipt?” Customer: “Shit!” Service Desk: “Aisle six, behind the urine. Next!” ---
**Author:** ![SSgtBaloo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@SSgtBaloo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SSgtBaloo)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2000, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-hire-a-hooker/29218/3 "2000-08-13T22:20:01Z")
What _I_ want from a woman can’t be bought. Well, maybe the sex, but that’s like having your cerial without milk and sugar. Something’s missing. As much as I love getting laid, it’s not the only thing I want. In my case, I want love, respect, and a continuing relationship. If any one of those are missing, I feel like I’m being shortchanged – kind of like in my ex-marriage. Are you a bad person for wanting sex enough to pay for it? Maybe or maybe not. Were you a bad person _before_ getting sex was an issue? I don’t suppose that money would be better spent looking for someone who will want to do you for free? ~~Baloo ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2000, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-hire-a-hooker/29218/4 "2000-08-13T22:20:23Z")
Lizard, In all fairness, there must be a way for you to date a nice girl. But assuming this is impossible, say, you’re stationed on the North Pole, alone, with only a brothel next door. Sure. Nothing morally wrong with it, IMHO. Use protection, of course. But these women deliver a service. You pay the money, you get the nooky. Simple as that. And I can type all this legally because of MY geographical location 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Demigod\_5](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecd19e/32.png) [@Demigod\_5](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Demigod_5)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2000, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-hire-a-hooker/29218/5 "2000-08-13T22:26:34Z")
Don’t you have any fat, ugly girls that would suffice? Seriously, try going to a bar…and don’t be picky. Sooner or later some not-so-cute, drunken slob will hit on you. If you do get a hooker, you HAVE TO…and I mean HAVE TO tell us about it. After the sex, remember, if it itches, don’t scratch it. ---
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2000, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-hire-a-hooker/29218/6 "2000-08-13T22:27:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Coldfire \* > \*\*Lizard, > > In all fairness, there must be a way for you to date a nice girl. But assuming this is impossible, say, you’re stationed on the North Pole, alone, with only a brothel next door.\*\* Well, it really isn’t. For a variety of circumstances I don’t want to get into, dating is extremely difficult right now. I just don’t have much time/money/energy. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Baloo \* > \*\*As much as I love getting laid, it’s not the only thing I want. In my case, I want love, respect, and a continuing relationship. If any one of those are missing, I feel like I’m being shortchanged – kind of like in my ex-marriage. > \*\* Hey, I know what you mean. I wouldn’t consider sex alone as a relationship-substitue. But relationships are tricky, and damn hard to bring about. I’m just about ready to settle for what I can get right now. I just think it would be better than nothing at all. Sex alone is better than no sex and no intimacy either, in my mind. ---
**Author:** ![cheezit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c57346/32.png) [@cheezit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cheezit)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2000, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-hire-a-hooker/29218/7 "2000-08-13T22:29:03Z")
I seriously doubt that you have been “without it” as long as I have. I have not been with a woman in 12 years, due to the fact that I have raised my 3 kids from first grade to now. (youngest are 18. Twin girls.) Just haven’t had time to date, what with work and being dad AND mom. As “bad off” as I am, I would NEVER consider a hooker. I echo Baloo’s statements in what I want in a woman. Now, if I only knew where to look. 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Zeeshan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c4cdca/32.png) [@Zeeshan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeeshan)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2000, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-hire-a-hooker/29218/8 "2000-08-13T22:33:19Z")
Dude just get laid.Find a really nice chick whom you like and who likes you.Get out of the house.Dress well and get a new look.I’m not there otherwise we coulda gone bird watching together,but anyone can get laid.Its just a matter of meeting the right person.Its much safer and a whole lot better if you do it with someone you know and like.Not a hooker.I mean where’s you’re class?But hey its you’re thingy and you can put it where you like.We can’t tell you what not to do. Just do whatever you want,but if you have any prob meeting regular chicks then i think that can be sorted out pretty easily. Bye Zeeshan ---
**Author:** ![yojimbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yojimbo/32/232_2.png) [@yojimbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yojimbo)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2000, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-hire-a-hooker/29218/9 "2000-08-13T22:35:48Z")
**Demigod#5** , please tell me you were joking. If that wasn’t a joke that was very offensive. Actually if it was a joke its **still** offensive . Please don’t refer to women who may not have been lucky enough to be born with your obvious good looking genes in the way you just have , you might just run into some problems here . ---
**Author:** ![Demigod\_5](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecd19e/32.png) [@Demigod\_5](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Demigod_5)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2000, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-hire-a-hooker/29218/10 "2000-08-13T22:44:44Z")
yojimbo, sorry, I didn’t mean to offend anyone. This entire thread, though somewhat serious, is lighthearted. The “ugly girls” bit was more or less a guy-to-guy joke…It’s not easy to remain P.C. when dealing with hookers and easy sex. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![jubei2k](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a87d85/32.png) [@jubei2k](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jubei2k)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2000, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-hire-a-hooker/29218/11 "2000-08-13T22:47:34Z")
Hey Zeeshan, I suggest you change the last line of your sig **immediately** you racist scum. ---
**Author:** ![yojimbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yojimbo/32/232_2.png) [@yojimbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yojimbo)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2000, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-hire-a-hooker/29218/12 "2000-08-13T22:52:48Z")
There’s a difference between P.C.'ness ( which I hate BTW ) and plain respect for people. Hijack over . Please lets get back to Lizard dipping his wick . ---
**Author:** ![lswote](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lswote/32/5737_2.png) [@lswote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lswote)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2000, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-hire-a-hooker/29218/13 "2000-08-13T22:53:39Z")
**Lizard** , I have done it and here are the things I found: 1. You can’t actually hire someone for sex out of the phonebook per se, but you can get someone to come to your house for nude modeling, and when she arrives you can make your own deal then. I offered her twice the rate she was getting to do the nude modeling. I don’t know if this is too much or not. 2. These women will not be offended by what you ask, or how you look. You can ask for sex or just oral sex and of course they are comfortable using protection, even during oral sex. 3. I found I was unable to stay aroused. I guess I just needed to care about who I was with. Or maybe it was the condoms, as I never had to use them when I was married. It was nice just to have contact with a woman, but I have used hookers twice and not been able to stay aroused either time so I would never use them again. ---
**Author:** ![yosemite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/3ab097/32.png) [@yosemite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yosemite)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2000, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-hire-a-hooker/29218/14 "2000-08-13T23:07:28Z")
This whole topic is completely depressing. Sorry, I had to say it. There are probably more than a few nice girls, maybe lonely girls, that you could get to know. If you are worth knowing. If you are not worth knowing (and I have no idea either way) then work to fix that. I’m sure you can. Trust me - look around you. Look at some of the couples walking around in malls. Do they all look rich and fabulously good looking and successful? Nope! People hook up all the time, all sorts of people. You can too. I think Wanderer’s experience is quite telling. It sounds like it was rather a depressing experience, frankly. ---
**Author:** ![Zeeshan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c4cdca/32.png) [@Zeeshan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeeshan)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2000, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-hire-a-hooker/29218/15 "2000-08-13T23:09:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jubei2k \* > \*\*Hey Zeeshan, I suggest you change the last line of your sig **immediately** you racist scum. \*\* Its not racism,its sarcasm ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2000, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-hire-a-hooker/29218/16 "2000-08-13T23:21:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by cheezit \* > \*\*I seriously doubt that you have been “without it” as long as I have. I have not been with a woman in 12 years, due to the fact that I have raised my 3 kids from first grade to now. (youngest are 18. Twin girls.) Just haven’t had time to date, what with work and being dad AND mom. > As “bad off” as I am, I would NEVER consider a hooker. I echo Baloo’s statements in what I want in a woman. > > Now, if I only knew where to look. 😕 \*\* cheezit, I just had to say this: I have a lot of respect for you. Obviously, you have chosen to think of your kids first, and only then of yourself. For over 12 years. That takes a real man. I salute you. In this day and age, we see too many examples of the opposite. I just thought it would be nice to highlight a GOOD example as well! Cheers, mate. ---
**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2000, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-hire-a-hooker/29218/17 "2000-08-13T23:22:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Zeeshan \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by jubei2k \* > > \*\*Hey Zeeshan, I suggest you change the last line of your sig **immediately** you racist scum. \*\* > > Its not racism,its sarcasm \*\* It’s racism…even if you used the term “black man” it would be IRONY, not sarcasm ---
**Author:** ![Rich\_G7subs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85e7bf/32.png) [@Rich\_G7subs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rich_G7subs)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2000, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-hire-a-hooker/29218/18 "2000-08-13T23:27:49Z")
\>\>\>\>\>\>\>\>\>Kill one and you are a murderer Kill millions and you are a conqueror Kill all and you are a god Kill a white man and you’re a murderer Kill a nigger and it was self defence \<\<\<\<\<\<\<\<\<\< by ZEESHAN He spelled “defense” wrong anyway.::shrugs::…Consider the source. ---
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2000, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-hire-a-hooker/29218/19 "2000-08-13T23:29:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Zeeshan \* > \*\*Its not racism,its sarcasm \*\* [hijacking own thread] Dude, I know what you meant by it, so I don’t find it racist. But I would advise you to simply retract it. I’ve been in fights over this kind of shit before. Trust me, you _cannot_ win. Just retract it, before it gets out of hand. Don’t argue, don’t try to explain yourself. Just retract it. [/end of hijack] Now can we get back to the topic at hand? ---
**Author:** ![Zeeshan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c4cdca/32.png) [@Zeeshan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeeshan)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2000, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-hire-a-hooker/29218/20 "2000-08-13T23:51:01Z")
[hijack] hey i visit the thread in my new sig.Its a BBQ about me and my sig. LOVE Zeeshan [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-hire-a-hooker/29218.md?page=2)