# Should I join the Order of DeMolay? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 4, 2010, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-join-the-order-of-demolay/552632 "2010-09-04T22:42:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Hellius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ebca7d/32.png) [@Hellius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hellius)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2010, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-join-the-order-of-demolay/552632/1 "2010-09-04T22:42:54Z")
Found this forum when I was reading up on them. I needed some networking opportunities and the freemasons had always intrigued me, but I’m not quite old enough for them. Found DeMolay. Any stories? Anything I should know? Is it worth it? I’m kind of shy/an introvert, so I need to work on that. ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2010, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-join-the-order-of-demolay/552632/2 "2010-09-05T00:49:07Z")
> [@Hellius](#): > > I’m kind of shy/an introvert, so I need to work on that. If you want a group that focuses more specifically on this aspect, I’ve heard good things about Toastmasters. ---
**Author:** ![samclem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9a28c/32.png) [@samclem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samclem)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2010, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-join-the-order-of-demolay/552632/3 "2010-09-05T01:16:02Z")
Since the OP is really looking for informed opinions and shared experiences, let’s move this from General Questions to IMHO. **samclem** Moderator ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2010, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-join-the-order-of-demolay/552632/4 "2010-09-05T01:20:52Z")
> [@Derleth](#): > > > [@Hellius](#): > > > > I’m kind of shy/an introvert, so I need to work on that. > > If you want a group that focuses more specifically on this aspect, I’ve heard good things about Toastmasters. [Toastmasters](http://www.toastmasters.org/) rules. It’s simply the best way to become better at, and more comfortable with, being outgoing in public. It’s a terrific organization. ---
**Author:** ![Hellius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ebca7d/32.png) [@Hellius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hellius)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2010, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-join-the-order-of-demolay/552632/5 "2010-09-05T03:19:44Z")
> [@Snowboarder\_Bo](#): > > > [@Derleth](#): > > > > If you want a group that focuses more specifically on this aspect, I’ve heard good things about Toastmasters. > > [Toastmasters](http://www.toastmasters.org/) rules. It’s simply the best way to become better at, and more comfortable with, being outgoing in public. It’s a terrific organization. It definitely looks good. I’ll look into it a little more, and if it turns out I don’t want to go into DeMolay, I’ll get into it. ---
**Author:** ![seanchai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b782af/32.png) [@seanchai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/seanchai)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2010, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-join-the-order-of-demolay/552632/6 "2010-09-05T03:30:29Z")
When I was in high school, the girls were members of Job’s daughters and the guys went in DeMolay. Once they were 18 or so, the guys went into the Masons and the girls into the Order of the Eastern Star, if I remember correctly. I think both youth groups were service organizations, but I don’t know - some of us were doing other things. I don’t recall either being a pseudo Toastmaster’s, mind. an seanchai ---
**Author:** ![Hellius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ebca7d/32.png) [@Hellius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hellius)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2010, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-join-the-order-of-demolay/552632/7 "2010-09-05T17:54:13Z")
> [@seanchai](#): > > I don’t recall either being a pseudo Toastmaster’s, mind. > > an seanchai I’m alright with that. The freemasons first caught my eye because of their secrecy and their fraternity, but I want to join them because I want to serve mankind. I mean, I’m turning 18 next year, so I could just as well wait and join the masons then. But I dunno. ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2010, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-join-the-order-of-demolay/552632/8 "2010-09-05T18:02:53Z")
Masons are sworn to avoid talking a man into joining a lodge. He must ask to join of his own free will. If the same is true of DeMolay, then no DeMolay member may tell you that you should join. ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Cad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saint_cad/32/18907_2.png) [@Saint\_Cad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Cad)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2010, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-join-the-order-of-demolay/552632/9 "2010-09-05T18:57:52Z")
I’m a 4th generation Mason and my grandfather suggested not to join Demolay. He said it would burn me out on it. My ex was a Jobbie and because of it never wanted to join Eastern Star. ---
**Author:** ![Hellius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ebca7d/32.png) [@Hellius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hellius)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2010, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-join-the-order-of-demolay/552632/10 "2010-09-06T00:30:44Z")
[QUOTE=AskNott] Masons are sworn to avoid talking a man into joining a lodge. He must ask to join of his own free will. If the same is true of DeMolay, then no DeMolay member may tell you that you should join. [/QUOTE] Yeah, I know. I already want to join, but as I said above, I could just join the masons next year. Wanna know if it’s worth it or not. > [@Saint\_Cad](#): > > I’m a 4th generation Mason and my grandfather suggested not to join Demolay. He said it would burn me out on it. My ex was a Jobbie and because of it never wanted to join Eastern Star. Ouch. Any specifics you can tell me? ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2010, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-join-the-order-of-demolay/552632/11 "2010-09-06T01:48:07Z")
> [@Hellius](#): > > to serve mankind. It’s a cookbook! A COOKBOOK! ---
**Author:** ![Hellius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ebca7d/32.png) [@Hellius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hellius)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2010, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-join-the-order-of-demolay/552632/12 "2010-09-06T03:09:43Z")
> [@Derleth](#): > > > [@Hellius](#): > > > > to serve mankind. > > It’s a cookbook! A COOKBOOK! A cookbook? Like the anarchist cookbook? That shit was interesting for a long, long time. ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2010, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-join-the-order-of-demolay/552632/13 "2010-09-07T22:51:19Z")
> [@Derleth](#): > > > [@Hellius](#): > > > > to serve mankind. > > It’s a cookbook! A COOKBOOK! The DeMolay’s are…People! Just joining in. Best wishes, hh