# Should I let my 13-year old listen to these heavy metal groups? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 26, 2010, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-13-year-old-listen-to-these-heavy-metal-groups/526508 "2010-01-26T14:19:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Shadowfyre](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shadowfyre/32/9972_2.png) [@Shadowfyre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shadowfyre)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2012, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-13-year-old-listen-to-these-heavy-metal-groups/526508/122 "2012-12-13T20:10:13Z")
> [@robby](#): > > Nope – he’s still a good kid at 15 years old. He’s in all honors-level classes with mostly A’s and a few B’s. Dresses normally with short hair; often wears metal band T-shirts to school. Working toward Eagle Scout in Boy Scouts. Wants to be an engineer or an architect. > > We never banned any music outright for him. His favorite bands are: > > [ul] > [li]Disturbed[/li][li]Avenged Sevenfold[/li][li]A Day to Remember[/li][li]Bring Me the Horizon[/li][li]Rise Against[/li][li]Killswitch Engaged[/li][/ul] > > I was a little concerned when he took an interest in the group “Rise Against” (because it sounded like a white-supremacist group), but I didn’t find anything online to support that concern. A guy I work with was in a band that practiced in the same space as Disturbed. He said their bassist was an a$$. I play in a band, mostly classic rock and old school punk, and I also have a 13 year old son. One time, while I was practicing, he came and told me that **my** music was too loud. 😃 I looked at him and said, “I wanna rock!” then hit a power chord on my guitar. I have a theory that it is my generation’s fault that artists like Justin Bieber, Selena Gomez, Miley Cyrus, etc… are famous. When the parents are listening to Slayer, Nine Inch Nails, Marilyn Manson and such, there’s not much room left on that end of the musical spectrum for the kids to rebel. They have to go back the other way. But that’s probably another thread… ---
**Author:** ![Blaster\_Master](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/cab0a1/32.png) [@Blaster\_Master](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blaster_Master)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2012, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-13-year-old-listen-to-these-heavy-metal-groups/526508/123 "2012-12-13T20:29:18Z")
Metal has had some bad PR, and there certainly are some bands in it with some lyrical and conceptual content that most parents wouldn’t want a 13-year-olds listening to, but it’s just not true of most metal, certainly not the type that most 13-year-olds will have ready access to and want to listen to. My suggestion is to treat every artist individually. That is, you may find objectionable material in metal, but you’ll also find it in rock, hip-hop, electronic, country… pretty much anything. I’ve been a metal head pretty much my whole life, I have literally hundreds of metal bands in my collection, and I think most parents would be more offended by a lot of the crap on the radio than a lot of the lyrics to the stuff I listen to. Yeah, there’s metal bands out there that go on about burning churches, and white supremacy and all that, but they’re definitely the minority and bands with that sort of ideology will usually stick out as such. But really, why not check out the lyrics and decide for yourself? The bands mentioned in the OP are quite innocuous, Slayer probably being the most objectionable, but not really for anything more than cursing and some violent imagery. But, hell, there’s pop music on the radio going on about shooting up other kids, promiscuous sex, recreational drug use, and all of that, and it shocks me that parents might object to some random metal song about knights and dragons just because it’s metal, but then not even notice that that upbeat song on the radio is about something they may not actually want their kid listening to. ---
**Author:** ![Song-of-Alouette](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Song-of-Alouette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Song-of-Alouette)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2013, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-13-year-old-listen-to-these-heavy-metal-groups/526508/124 "2013-01-19T19:00:54Z")
As an adolescent and his age-group, though a female, obviously, I can assure you that while some metal music can be disturbing, I can only advise that you let him listen to what he wants. Other children and teenagers now are all in to hip-hop and pop, right now heavy metal isn’t very mainstream for younger teens (11-15), so appreciate his diversity. I listen to Disturbed and some other heavy metal, hard rock and stuff (right now I’m listening to Metallica, but…) and I enjoy the sounds and the emotions of it, which new music lacks. There are good things about this kind of music, and if you have problems with explicit content, I don’t blame you! So do my parents. Tell him he can purchase anything he wants- that is not labeled explicit! The music isn’t that bad. Tell him to read you his FAVORITE lyrics, let him choose. What do you think of it? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![DJ\_K666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c5a1d2/32.png) [@DJ\_K666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DJ_K666)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2013, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-13-year-old-listen-to-these-heavy-metal-groups/526508/125 "2013-02-27T23:13:47Z")
> [@Stealth\_Potato](#): > > _Dragonforce?_ Dragonforce is pretty much _perfect_ for 13-year-olds, IMHO. Overproduced, repetitive, cheesy lyrics. They’ve got a few cool songs, but it’s hard to retain interest in them for long. If he’s into power metal, steer him in the direction of [Rhapsody of Fire](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L95MNCQzD-A). Now there’s a group that knows how to do cheesy lyrics as only an Italian metal band singing in English can. He’d probably also like [Nightwish](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R82paQbF0Yo). > > There’s actually a lot of metal out there that’s more or less wholesome, as far as it goes. Especially in power metal and epic metal where fantasy themes are quite popular; you’re more likely to find dragons and swords than drugs and misogyny. (Now, are dragons and swords just _symbols_ for drugs and misogyny? That’s a question I’ll leave for the philosophers. :D) And they have Christopher Lee! I got into Metal at the age of 3 after listening to Hawkwind. The track that did it was called “Who’s Gonna Win The War”. Pretty tame by today’s standards but it did the job. Then I listened to Guns n Roses and then Iron Maiden of whom I am still a massive massive fan aged 32… I saw Nightwish on their final tour with Tarja Turunen. They were cool but I couldn’t help feeling that I could have just listened to the album. ---
**Author:** ![Plumpudding](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@Plumpudding](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Plumpudding)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2013, 6:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-13-year-old-listen-to-these-heavy-metal-groups/526508/126 "2013-02-28T06:41:17Z")
> [@Steken](#): > > Hmmm, let’s see here. “Blåmenn” literally translates as “blue men”, from back in the day when “blue” and “black” was pretty much the same thing. > > I guess translating “blåmenn” as “negroes” rather than “niggers” would make sense, too? (I speak both Swedish and Danish, but my Norwegian is admittedly a bit rusty.) I’m a norwegian. Now, I’m not entierly, but fairly, certain the following is somewhat correct. If someone knows more, please feel free to correct me. As far I as I remember, “blåmann”(“blue man”) is an antiquated derogatory term that was used in scandinavia, or at least in sweden and norway, to describe african people. I don’t know exactly when the term originated, but I remember reading a swedish encyclopedia from the early 1900 that used the term in the section on africans. It also used terms like primate-like etc. As far as I know, the term came to be because some people found certain africans so dark-skinned they almost looked blue. So yeah, I’d take offense regarding some of Burzum’s lyrics. Now, on the whole metal/13 year old thing, I’d say to let the kid listen. I’m not a parent and claim no expertise on the field, but when I was a kid and I brought home the latest praise to satan in disc format, my father and me would have a listen. He wouldn’t necessarily like it, but we’d listen, talk about it and have a great time regardless. Then again my childhood was rather liberal in regards to that aspect… I’ve been listening to a band called Butthole Surfers(not metal) since I was three, Slayer and Sepultura since I was five, Napalm Death since I was ten, various black and death metal inbetween and around. I went to my first Slayer concert at 14… hell, my father took me to Iggy Pop when I was only two years old, and Iggy has arguably had live shows a lot more disturbing than any of the groups you listed have ever had. In spite of all of that “bad” influence I’ve never done drugs, always had good grades, and I’m still studying and doing well. Just a few cents anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2013, 6:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-13-year-old-listen-to-these-heavy-metal-groups/526508/127 "2013-02-28T06:59:12Z")
Pfft. My 10 year old’s favorite band is Rammstein. ---
**Author:** ![midnight-dreary](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba8739/32.png) [@midnight-dreary](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/midnight-dreary)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2013, 7:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-13-year-old-listen-to-these-heavy-metal-groups/526508/128 "2013-02-28T07:55:25Z")
I’m a university student, never getting anything below ‘credit’, while looking after my siblings, my grandparents, working and volunteering. I listen to metal. Metal is like everything else. there are appropriate songs and non-appropriate. To be quite honest, I think that I’d prefer that my child listen to metal than top 40, rap, or pop. ---
**Author:** ![Mavic\_Chen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e56c9b/32.png) [@Mavic\_Chen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mavic_Chen)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2013, 11:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-13-year-old-listen-to-these-heavy-metal-groups/526508/129 "2013-02-28T11:55:14Z")
Keep the metal for yourself, make 'em listen to Wagner. ---
**Author:** ![MetalMaster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/dbc845/32.png) [@MetalMaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MetalMaster)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2013, 11:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-13-year-old-listen-to-these-heavy-metal-groups/526508/130 "2013-11-01T11:33:54Z")
Well, i AM 13 and would actually want to put my insight here on this. Maybe i have a similar view as your son. I was bullied real bad last year and then i got into heavy metal. i heard so gs that were pretty much saying ‘dont care what others think of me’ i am into five finger death punch, disturbed (your son rocks) killswitch engage, hatebreed, as i lay dying, avenged sevenfold and a couple others. i saw heavy metal also as a way to just sit back and relax on my own. i usually lock myself in my room and listen to this music to just “escape” my world. i take a bike ride every day with my music playing iny headphones. this music is who i am. i think your son just wants to be who he is without being restrained. i havent told my parents about my music because im not sure what theyll say/do. they can be quite strict. but i really see this music as an opportunity to just calm down. now when people try to put me down i can just ignore them or sometimes i (dont think im some nerd) quote some of the songs i like. they just go away and stop hopelessly trying at me. now im also afraid of telling my parents because i DO listen to a couple vulgar bands such as five finger death punch. but killswitch engage and as i lay dying i have done some research on and found 99% of their band mbers ARE christian men. but after all your opinion matters most, but i thought i would share my thoughts. ---
**Author:** ![willthekittensurvive](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/91b2a8/32.png) [@willthekittensurvive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/willthekittensurvive)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2013, 11:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-13-year-old-listen-to-these-heavy-metal-groups/526508/131 "2013-11-01T11:55:17Z")
Now that this thread is alive again, I’m curious how Robby’s son is doing 3 years later ---
**Author:** ![Steken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@Steken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steken)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2013, 12:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-13-year-old-listen-to-these-heavy-metal-groups/526508/132 "2013-11-01T12:00:47Z")
Not extreme enough, bro. Check out the albums of the year: 1. Cultes des Ghoules - _Henbane_ (much-hyped Polish maniacs; concept album about a psychoactive plant supposedly used by witches back in the Dark Ages, haha!) 2. Teitanblood - _Woven Black Arteries_ (the Spanish GODS of truly BESTIAL black/death metal return, with a brüüüütally punishing tribute to inquisitorial fanaticism!) 3. Summoning - _Old Mornings’ Dawn_ (Austrian “Tolkien metal”; brilliant come-back album, epic escapism in the Austrian way!) 4. Cornigr - _Relics Of Inner War_ (excellent Finnish one-man band; if you like Mayhem’s _De Mysteriis Dom Sathanas_ - and of course you do - you’ll like this!) 5. Funeral Mist - _Trisagion_ (OK, OK, OK, technically a re-release and not a new album - _but what a fucking re-release_! three classic albums of Swedish black magic poison: “Devilry,” “Salvation” AND “Maranatha,” collected in a sexy-as-hell 5 LP box, with a 28-page booklet! “And He hath put a new song in my mouth, even praise unto our GOD / many shall hear it, and shall trust in the Lord!”) ---
**Author:** ![MetalMaster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/dbc845/32.png) [@MetalMaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MetalMaster)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2013, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-13-year-old-listen-to-these-heavy-metal-groups/526508/133 "2013-11-01T12:27:49Z")
true steken. i like what i like though. loyalty is the best thing ever ---
**Author:** ![Steken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@Steken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steken)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2013, 12:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-13-year-old-listen-to-these-heavy-metal-groups/526508/134 "2013-11-01T12:30:14Z")
> [@MetalMaster](#): > > true steken. i like what i like though. loyalty is the best thing ever Well said and fair enough! Just a few recommendations, you know. Rock on and take care out there. ---
**Author:** ![MetalMaster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/dbc845/32.png) [@MetalMaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MetalMaster)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2013, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-13-year-old-listen-to-these-heavy-metal-groups/526508/135 "2013-11-01T12:34:52Z")
thank you. i have always wondered though, HOW can i tell my parents this is what i like? ---
**Author:** ![Steken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@Steken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steken)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2013, 12:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-13-year-old-listen-to-these-heavy-metal-groups/526508/136 "2013-11-01T12:41:35Z")
> [@MetalMaster](#): > > thank you. i have always wondered though, HOW can i tell my parents this is what i like? How do you think they would react? Are they usually very strict about that sort of thing? ---
**Author:** ![MetalMaster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/dbc845/32.png) [@MetalMaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MetalMaster)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2013, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-13-year-old-listen-to-these-heavy-metal-groups/526508/137 "2013-11-01T12:45:15Z")
umm yea they can be a little on the strict sidd about my well being and my character and stuff like that. i mean its whp i am and i would like them to know, but im afraid they would try to take me away from the music ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2013, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-13-year-old-listen-to-these-heavy-metal-groups/526508/138 "2013-11-01T12:46:47Z")
Disturbed’s “Believe” is one of my favorite albums. I listen to it in my minivan with my three kids. I’ve caught the ten year old singing along and the three year old is now a talented lap drummer. The baby was just born and so is too little to appreciate anything that I don’t keep in a bra. That said, both the older ones still like Poison better than anything else I have in my collection. Poison, shitty 80s hair band, has more songs I won’t let them listen to than Disturbed does. My mom refused to buy “In Utero” for me for Christmas because of the song title “Rape Me.” I thought it was fairly unreasonable, especially because I got “Jagged Little Pill” that same year and “You Oughta Know” is worse than anything on the Nirvana album I wanted. No way to tell from the back of the CD though. ---
**Author:** ![MetalMaster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/dbc845/32.png) [@MetalMaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MetalMaster)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2013, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-13-year-old-listen-to-these-heavy-metal-groups/526508/139 "2013-11-01T12:52:54Z")
\*\*side \*\*who (corrections on my last post) ---
**Author:** ![Steken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@Steken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steken)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2013, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-13-year-old-listen-to-these-heavy-metal-groups/526508/140 "2013-11-01T12:53:45Z")
> [@MetalMaster](#): > > umm yea they can be a little on the strict sidd about my well being and my character and stuff like that. i mean its whp i am and i would like them to know, but im afraid they would try to take me away from the music No idea. Hard for me to relate, because my parents were very lax about what kinds of music me and my siblings were allowed to listen to. I also don’t have kids of my own just yet, so I can’t really give any good tips from that perspective, either. But maybe compare it to something you _are_ allowed to do/see/have? Like, say, “it’s like that _Lord Of The Rings_ movie we saw. Same thing but, like, a record instead of a movie.” Basically taking it down to the level of harmless entertainment. Do you think that would work? ---
**Author:** ![MetalMaster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/dbc845/32.png) [@MetalMaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MetalMaster)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2013, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-13-year-old-listen-to-these-heavy-metal-groups/526508/141 "2013-11-01T12:59:07Z")
> [@Steken](#): > > No idea. Hard for me to relate, because my parents were very lax about what kinds of music me and my siblings were allowed to listen to. I also don’t have kids of my own just yet, so I can’t really give any good tips from that perspective, either. > > But maybe compare it to something you _are_ allowed to do/see/have? Like, say, “it’s like that _Lord Of The Rings_ movie we saw. Same thing but, like, a record instead of a movie.” Basically taking it down to the level of harmless entertainment. Do you think that would work? possibly. but what about when i wanna show them my 5FDP songs? they curse quite a bit. like this “you wanna disrespect me you little fuckin punk? everything i’ve done to be who i am? as far as i’ve fuckin come? ill slap you so fuckin hard it’ll feel like you kissed a freight train…fuck you” tgats a litfle line in their song war is the answer. how would i talk that down? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-13-year-old-listen-to-these-heavy-metal-groups/526508.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-13-year-old-listen-to-these-heavy-metal-groups/526508.md?page=8)