# Should I let my 13-year old listen to these heavy metal groups? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 26, 2010, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-13-year-old-listen-to-these-heavy-metal-groups/526508 "2010-01-26T14:19:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2014, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-13-year-old-listen-to-these-heavy-metal-groups/526508/162 "2014-04-04T16:12:07Z")
> [@sisu](#): > > bloody druggie music if you ask me. Heavy metal is fine if the kid is balanced, the best thing to do is listen to his music and pretend to like it. If you think it is cool he will hate it! THIS is the most accurate thing out there. I was a metalhead with short hair in high school because my parents told me that I was free to have whatever outlandish hairstyles I wanted, just as long as they got to take pictures to mock me about later in life with my children. That pretty much broke me of wanting to do anything crazy. I’m another fine upstanding highly educated citizen (MS, MBA, Eagle Scout) who happened to be a metalhead in middle school, high school and part of college. The main thing is that if you’re already teaching your kid right, he may like the music, but not let it change his convictions. I mean, back in the day we could listen to stuff like Tupac or NWA, and not have any fantasies about living the West coast gangster lifestyle, or girls can listen to Katy Perry and not seriously think about kissing other girls or having 3-ways. It’s not any different with heavy metal, other than the music and vocals are more dark and aggressive-sounding than the earlier examples. The thing I think is weirdest though, is not letting your 13 year old kid play “M” rated video games. 99% of them mainly have violent content, and a very little profanity. I haven’t seen any nudity yet, and the gore factor is rather small in most of them. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2014, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-13-year-old-listen-to-these-heavy-metal-groups/526508/163 "2014-04-04T16:15:51Z")
The kid the OP refers to is at least 17 now. Pretty sure he’s old enough to pick out his own music. ---
**Author:** ![Sparky812](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eb9ed0/32.png) [@Sparky812](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sparky812)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2014, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-13-year-old-listen-to-these-heavy-metal-groups/526508/164 "2014-04-04T16:37:05Z")
> [@Omar\_Little](#): > > The kid the OP refers to is at least 17 now. Pretty sure he’s old enough to pick out his own music. I hope so, although… if he’s still in the basement listening to death metal then maybe he needs a slight push in a different direction. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Macca26](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/13edae/32.png) [@Macca26](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Macca26)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2014, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-13-year-old-listen-to-these-heavy-metal-groups/526508/165 "2014-04-04T16:54:25Z")
> [@Sparky812](#): > > I hope so, although… if he’s still in the basement listening to death metal then maybe he needs a slight push in a different direction. 😃 Don’t see why. At 17 he’d be expected to still be in high school and living at home. Choice in music doesn’t necessarily mean anything about someone’s work ethic or grade average, either. If he’s 17 or 18 and in a basement room listening to death metal…rock on, man. ---
**Author:** ![Sparky812](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eb9ed0/32.png) [@Sparky812](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sparky812)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2014, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-13-year-old-listen-to-these-heavy-metal-groups/526508/166 "2014-04-04T17:54:19Z")
> [@Macca26](#): > > Don’t see why. At 17 he’d be expected to still be in high school and living at home. Choice in music doesn’t necessarily mean anything about someone’s work ethic or grade average, either. > > If he’s 17 or 18 and in a basement room listening to death metal…rock on, man. Work ethic!? grade average!? Project much? I say, it was a joke, son! But, if he is stagnant in his musical choices and has not branched out to discover and explore other bands or other musical styles and genres in these 4 years, that would be strange since all our musical tastes grow and evolve between 13 and 17. Alot. FTR I am a lifelong metalhead and have played guitar for over 30 years but have spent time listening and playing all kinds of music from folk to rock, punk to metal or whatever else affects me to jam to it. ---
**Author:** ![Macca26](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/13edae/32.png) [@Macca26](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Macca26)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2014, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-13-year-old-listen-to-these-heavy-metal-groups/526508/167 "2014-04-04T18:10:16Z")
> [@Sparky812](#): > > Work ethic!? grade average!? Project much? > I say, it was a joke, son! > > But, if he is stagnant in his musical choices and has not branched out to discover and explore other bands or other musical styles and genres in these 4 years, that would be strange since all our musical tastes grow and evolve between 13 and 17. Alot. > > FTR I am a lifelong metalhead and have played guitar for over 30 years but have spent time listening and playing all kinds of music from folk to rock, punk to metal or whatever else affects me to jam to it. I don’t think there’s a single band or genre in my life that I’ve grown out of. If you’ve been a lifelong metalhead then you’d also understand - just because you start listening to blues doesn’t mean you stop listening to metal. So if he’s still listening to metal (because why stop?) no problem from me. Anyway, I suppose it was projecting, 'cept the whole start of the thread was focused on a dad thinking that listening to metal would do nefarious things to his son, like turning him into a lazy stoner. When the joke sounds like a simple extension of that, well… (I also kind of have a shitty sense of humor so I took it as a “I’m hiding a serious thought inside this joke” as you can tell) ---
**Author:** ![Steken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@Steken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steken)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2014, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-13-year-old-listen-to-these-heavy-metal-groups/526508/168 "2014-04-04T19:34:09Z")
> [@Melchior](#): > > This stuff is garbage, and I would not let him listen to it. I never liked that crap, and refuse to have any part of it. He needs to be exposed to good music, where the songs are not about death, suffering, etc. Give him some Wagner to listen to. Ride of the Valkyries is so good! Am I being whooshed? At first, I chuckled at this, assuming you were kidding. From the rest of your replies, though, I’m getting the impression that maybe you were, uh, really serious after all? Were you? If so: Have you actually heard _Die Walküre_, or the Ring in general? Read the libretto, or at least a summary? It’s _all_ about death and suffering, and old pagan gods, and dragon-slaying, and hey, lookit - brother-and-sister incest, too. No more wholesome than the latest Ofermod album. > [@buddha\_david](#): > > Haha…damn straight. The entire POINT of teens listening to nasty music is to piss off their parents! No. I listened to “nasty music” as a lad, and still do - my parents were (thankfully) _never_ pissed off, and pissing them off was never my intention. ---
**Author:** ![Melchior](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Melchior](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Melchior)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2014, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-13-year-old-listen-to-these-heavy-metal-groups/526508/169 "2014-04-04T19:48:24Z")
> [@Steken](#): > > Am I being whooshed? > > At first, I chuckled at this, assuming you were kidding. From the rest of your replies, though, I’m getting the impression that maybe you were, uh, really serious after all? Were you? > > If so: Have you actually heard _Die Walküre_, or the Ring in general? Read the libretto, or at least a summary? It’s _all_ about death and suffering, and old pagan gods, and dragon-slaying, and hey, lookit - brother-and-sister incest, too. No more wholesome than the latest Ofermod album. I was of course putting one over on everyone. The themes in classical music are often just as dark and nasty as those in Death Metal or whatever they call it. But the music is far better. Yes, I have several of the Wagner operas, on DGG CDs, of course, including _Die Walküre_. But I cannot stand American jazz. Too many trumets and piercing instruments. I hate all that 50s and 60s ‘cool jazz’ stuff. Ugh! All the so-called ‘great’ jazz…I loathe it all. (e.g, Mile s Davis) ---
**Author:** ![ZenBeam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/3ab097/32.png) [@ZenBeam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZenBeam)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2014, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-13-year-old-listen-to-these-heavy-metal-groups/526508/170 "2014-04-04T22:44:08Z")
> [@pancakes3](#): > > Are you kidding me?! Everyone knows that Ride of the Valkyries leads to paganism, and eventually sadism and animal brutality. Don’t be surprised that after a few listenings you end up with a yard full of dead rabbits. > > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yxiv3CBMS4M I want to know what kind of music _you’re_ listening to that made you swap your link URL and link text. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2014, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-13-year-old-listen-to-these-heavy-metal-groups/526508/171 "2014-04-05T01:03:50Z")
Meh, my generation grew up listening to grunge music like Nirvana and Alice in Chains and we don’t all seem to be suicidal drug addicts. ---
**Author:** ![Steken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@Steken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steken)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2014, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-13-year-old-listen-to-these-heavy-metal-groups/526508/172 "2014-04-05T06:39:45Z")
> [@Melchior](#): > > I was of course putting one over on everyone. The themes in classical music are often just as dark and nasty as those in Death Metal or whatever they call it. But the music is far better. _De gustibus_, then. Let the kid listen to whatever he wants. Burzum one day, Wagner the next? Worked for me, all throughout my teens. ---
**Author:** ![Sparky812](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eb9ed0/32.png) [@Sparky812](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sparky812)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-13-year-old-listen-to-these-heavy-metal-groups/526508/173 "2014-04-11T03:26:48Z")
> [@Macca26](#): > > I don’t think there’s a single band or genre in my life that I’ve grown out of. If you’ve been a lifelong metalhead then you’d also understand - just because you start listening to blues doesn’t mean you stop listening to metal. So if he’s still listening to metal (because why stop?) no problem from me. > > Anyway, I suppose it was projecting, 'cept the whole start of the thread was focused on a dad thinking that listening to metal would do nefarious things to his son, like turning him into a lazy stoner. When the joke sounds like a simple extension of that, well… > > (I also kind of have a shitty sense of humor so I took it as a “I’m hiding a serious thought inside this joke” as you can tell) OK, I guess. Except you’re still projecting. I didn’t say he should grow out of those bands. I was explaining that musical horizons should have expanded and evolved over that time. I also never suggested he should stop listening to anyone. ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-13-year-old-listen-to-these-heavy-metal-groups/526508/174 "2014-04-11T03:58:46Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Meh, my generation grew up listening to grunge music like Nirvana and Alice in Chains and we don’t all seem to be suicidal drug addicts. Well, not the ones of you still living… ---
**Author:** ![enlightenment1202](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/53a042/32.png) [@enlightenment1202](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enlightenment1202)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2014, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-13-year-old-listen-to-these-heavy-metal-groups/526508/175 "2014-06-27T03:00:46Z")
The only thing a parent should be concerned about their kids is if they do drugs, have unprotected sex, and school, and all music advocates either one of two or both. You should let your kid explore different aspects of all pop culture, and make sure he or she makes proper decisions in life, like not doing drugs. Hence the music he listens to doesn’t matter as long as he makes proper decisions. Censorship is never the answer and it only causes revolt and disdain towards the censor. ---
**Author:** ![Lasciel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e79b87/32.png) [@Lasciel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lasciel)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2014, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-13-year-old-listen-to-these-heavy-metal-groups/526508/176 "2014-06-27T03:09:29Z")
Well, by now it’s going to have turned out one way or the other, because the kid is grown. This is at least a thrice-revenent zombie thread, and lots of the posters have moved on from here, willingly or not. So, if you don’t get much conversation, it’s not you, it’s the thread. ---
**Author:** ![Jigabois](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f07891/32.png) [@Jigabois](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jigabois)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2018, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-13-year-old-listen-to-these-heavy-metal-groups/526508/177 "2018-03-16T01:32:42Z")
All I can say is thank God my parents weren’t like you when I was that age. You shelter and coddle way too much, just let him explore the music he wants to explore, don’t be overbearing ---
**Author:** ![Rhiannon8404](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhiannon8404/32/17929_2.png) [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2018, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-13-year-old-listen-to-these-heavy-metal-groups/526508/178 "2018-03-16T01:44:43Z")
> [@Jigabois](#): > > All I can say is thank God my parents weren’t like you when I was that age. You shelter and coddle way too much, just let him explore the music he wants to explore, don’t be overbearing Considering the child in the OP is now 21, I’m sure he’s doing all kinds of exploring. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2018, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-13-year-old-listen-to-these-heavy-metal-groups/526508/179 "2018-03-16T16:28:07Z")
Make that 4 times back from the dead? We may have a new winner!!! ---
**Author:** ![jz78817](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jz78817/32/1028_2.png) [@jz78817](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jz78817)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2018, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-13-year-old-listen-to-these-heavy-metal-groups/526508/180 "2018-03-16T17:36:18Z")
> [@kopek](#): > > Make that 4 times back from the dead? We may have a new winner!!! I think Morbid Angel might have done a song about zombies rising over and over. ---
**Author:** ![watchwolf49](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e9c0ed/32.png) [@watchwolf49](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/watchwolf49)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2018, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-13-year-old-listen-to-these-heavy-metal-groups/526508/181 "2018-03-17T02:23:37Z")
> [@Rhiannon8404](#): > > Considering the child in the OP is now 21, I’m sure he’s doing all kinds of exploring. I sure hope we get an update … Anywho, my tale … step-father was a self-righteous lout loudly proclaiming one night at dinner that Led Zeppelin played backwards was Satanic incantations … I was quick to point out that played _forwards_ was also Satanic incantations … [sigh] … spent the rest of my growing up using mislabeled cassette tapes … “Of course Peter, Paul and Mary played heavy electric music, get with the scene step-daddy-o.” … I feel for the OP … drugs can definitely lead one to this kind of music … [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-13-year-old-listen-to-these-heavy-metal-groups/526508.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-13-year-old-listen-to-these-heavy-metal-groups/526508.md?page=10)