# Should I let my 13 Year old use (The) Dope? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 31, 2013, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-13-year-old-use-the-dope/648862 "2013-01-31T01:14:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a88e4f/32.png) [@Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Digital_is_the_new_Analog)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2013, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-13-year-old-use-the-dope/648862/21 "2013-01-31T04:23:05Z")
How often do you run across threads thinking “I’m not going to show this one to my kid?” ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2013, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-13-year-old-use-the-dope/648862/22 "2013-01-31T04:24:12Z")
Personally, it’s the fact that our posts can be searched via Google that would give me pause about my hypothetical adolescent child joining up. While nothing on the Internet is truly private, this forum is more public than some. I’m not so much worried that she’d attract attention from Google-searching pervs or anything as that she’ll post things she’ll really regret and wish were not there for others to find years later. Think how many zombie threads we’ve had bumped by people who stumbled upon them via Google. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2013, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-13-year-old-use-the-dope/648862/23 "2013-01-31T05:09:26Z")
> [@faithfool](#): > > Only if she has a really thick skin. While I love the Dope and there’s lots of great people with tons to share, there is also plenty of assholes who can make someone’s life a living hell if they don’t meet up to some nebulous standard. So, if you think she can hang with that being a possibility and her basically growing up here with her postings being constant future fodder, then I’d say let her. She could learn a lot. This would be my concern. Adults can be turds, just like junior high school students. I’d imagine that all the ask “x” about “y” sexual practices would be tame by comparison. To learn that adults can be as snotty as we are is worse than someone trying to tell you that Santa Claus isn’t real. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2013, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-13-year-old-use-the-dope/648862/24 "2013-01-31T05:55:11Z")
Does she really WANT to hang out here, or does she just comment on the place every now and then when she reads over your shoulder? Because let’s face it – what thirteen year old wants to hang out on a message board with their parents? ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2013, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-13-year-old-use-the-dope/648862/25 "2013-01-31T05:57:33Z")
In other news, I have a very precocious cat, not like your typical cat at all, who is about 7 years old. She’s frankly an awesome cat with a great sense of humor and wonderful personality. Should I let her join the dope? ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2013, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-13-year-old-use-the-dope/648862/26 "2013-01-31T06:06:54Z")
That depends, is she more into Justin Bieber or Emilie Autumn? Does she at least know who Emilie Autumn is? Because I don’t, and probably should not be posting here. ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2013, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-13-year-old-use-the-dope/648862/27 "2013-01-31T06:36:37Z")
A few of these people, if they find out she is 13, they will try to PM her with candy. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2013, 11:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-13-year-old-use-the-dope/648862/28 "2013-01-31T11:18:57Z")
> [@jz78817](#): > > Are you asking us a question, or is this an opportunity for you to tell us just how awesome you think your (entirely unremarkable) kid is? The kid is awesome. You, not so much. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2013, 11:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-13-year-old-use-the-dope/648862/29 "2013-01-31T11:30:27Z")
Sure, you can let her get an account. Technically, you can’t stop her, she’s thirteen after all. But seriously, what here would be of much interest to even (as you claim) an _extraordinary_ 13 yr old? When my kids were younger I’d show them certain threads and posts and they had sharp and pithy replies too…but really, apart from some pop-culture threads in CS, what would keep your daughter here? It’s an adult board, adult content, and adult stupidity: my experience has been that kids just roll their eyes into the farthest reaches of their skulls and do the adolescent ‘sigh’. Why would you want your special kid to sink to our depths? :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2013, 12:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-13-year-old-use-the-dope/648862/30 "2013-01-31T12:06:49Z")
I wouldn’t. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2013, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-13-year-old-use-the-dope/648862/31 "2013-01-31T12:25:00Z")
My personal opinion is that this is an adult board, with adult topics and conversation. While some threads and areas might be interesting for a teen, most are not really suitable. The only reason why we allow 13 year olds on the boards is because it’s a holdover from the AOL days, when we pretty much had to let them use the site. I would prefer that we didn’t allow members to be under 16, and having a minimum age of 18 would be better. It’s like the kids who like to hang out at adult gatherings, sure, they might enjoy feeling like one of the grownups, but sometimes the adults want to be with other adults, and not have to worry about censoring themselves. When my daughter was 13, I let her watch _Rocky Horror Picture Show_, I let her read books with sexual content (not explicit), and I let her be exposed to quite a lot of stuff. I would have let her read the SDMB if it had been around when she was 13, but I wouldn’t have let her participate in it. ---
**Author:** ![R3d\_Anonymous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/aeb1de/32.png) [@R3d\_Anonymous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/R3d_Anonymous)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2013, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-13-year-old-use-the-dope/648862/32 "2013-01-31T13:15:19Z")
The OP should start a poll on this. My vote is yes. ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2013, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-13-year-old-use-the-dope/648862/33 "2013-01-31T13:40:43Z")
> [@jz78817](#): > > Are you asking us a question, or is this an opportunity for you to tell us just how awesome you think your (entirely unremarkable) kid is? Don’t come into a thread just to snark and insult. We have a big ole wide open Pit just for that purpose! Try it, you’ll like it. ---
**Author:** ![Snarky\_Kong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a183cd/32.png) [@Snarky\_Kong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snarky_Kong)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2013, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-13-year-old-use-the-dope/648862/34 "2013-01-31T13:44:17Z")
No. Not for your kid’s sake, but for the rest of us. Nobody cares what a 13 year old has to say. **Shakes** , you don’t need to white knight this post too, save your energy! ---
**Author:** ![bienville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@bienville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bienville)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2013, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-13-year-old-use-the-dope/648862/35 "2013-01-31T13:45:41Z")
Will you know her by her username? Does she know yours? I’d imagine that the lack of anonymity between the two of you will in itself filter her participation. People have suggested she’s need a thick skin as we can be meanies sometimes. I’d ask, are you sure _you_ have a thick enough skin? Could you witness your daughter being pitted? Keep in mind that we don’t all keep track of each other’s personal stats, someone may tear into her not realizing they’re throwing punches at a 13 year old. Are you comfortable witnessing that? Really, I just think if she’s shown an interest, there’s no harm in allowing her to join. If she fits in and likes it here she’ll stay. If she finds this isn’t the place for her, she’ll drop out. ---
**Author:** ![bienville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@bienville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bienville)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2013, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-13-year-old-use-the-dope/648862/36 "2013-01-31T13:52:04Z")
> [@Snarky\_Kong](#): > > No. Not for your kid’s sake, but for the rest of us. Nobody cares what a 13 year old has to say. Ooh, actually this is a good point that I hadn’t thought of. People generally do not care about things that **Snarky\_Kong** doesn’t care about. If one forum has 50 threads on the front page and one of those Threads is about something that **Snarky\_Kong** doesn’t care about, it really compromises the integrity of the entire SDMB. Likewise, if a half dozen people are participating in a discussion and one of those people shares a perpective that **Snarky\_Kong** doesn’t value, then the entire Thread has to just be written off. It really isn’t fair to allow any content that hasn’t been screened by **Snarky\_Kong** first. Please disregard my previous post. ---
**Author:** ![Yorikke](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yorikke/32/4335_2.png) [@Yorikke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yorikke)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2013, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-13-year-old-use-the-dope/648862/37 "2013-01-31T14:04:35Z")
> [@Glazer](#): > > Sure, what’s the worse that could happen? She could pick up that grammar… 😛 ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2013, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-13-year-old-use-the-dope/648862/38 "2013-01-31T14:30:23Z")
We’ve had 12-13 year olds whose contribution to the board was appropriate and welcome, and we’ve had some who were mostly annoying. I’d leave it up to the kid, with neither parents nor SDMB policy second-guessing the decision. ---
**Author:** ![pancakes3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ba9def/32.png) [@pancakes3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pancakes3)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2013, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-13-year-old-use-the-dope/648862/39 "2013-01-31T14:39:25Z")
She’ll probably end up worst for wear. ---
**Author:** ![chappachula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d2c977/32.png) [@chappachula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chappachula)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2013, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-13-year-old-use-the-dope/648862/40 "2013-01-31T15:11:06Z")
there are two issues here: 1. Is she ready for the Dope? 2. Is the Dope ready for her? Both cases are unsure…she may not be ready for snarky insults, cynicism and “I’ll be in my bunk” commments… And we Dopers may not be interested in her (presumably) childish posts. So I suggest that you let her join, but under supervision. Choose her username and password along with her, and tell her that you will be POS\* a lot. * * * \*POS was kid-speak from chatrooms in 1997. And may still be in use, for all I know… 🙂 It stands for “Parent Over Shoulder”, and is a more urgent warning than PIR ,“Parent in Room” . [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-13-year-old-use-the-dope/648862.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-13-year-old-use-the-dope/648862.md?page=3)