# Should I let my 14-year old daughter get thong underwear? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 17, 2010, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-14-year-old-daughter-get-thong-underwear/536436 "2010-04-17T05:15:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2010, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-14-year-old-daughter-get-thong-underwear/536436/61 "2010-04-18T00:09:45Z")
> [@Curtis LeMay](#): > > Unlike having restraint and recognizes the benefits of an orderly family structure and abstience like our grandparents we want gratification just like chimpanzees or cavemen. I promise you your grandparents didn’t practice restraint and abstinence. They were told to, sure. They told their children to do the same, sure. But we’ve become no less primitive. We’re just honest about it. _Leave it to Beaver_ is a myth, **Curtis**. It never existed. I fail to see how having sex with another consenting person makes me like a chimpanzee or a caveman. Who knows? Maybe they have it right! ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2010, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-14-year-old-daughter-get-thong-underwear/536436/62 "2010-04-18T00:14:36Z")
In high school I was voted most likely to become a chimpanzee or a caveman. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2010, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-14-year-old-daughter-get-thong-underwear/536436/63 "2010-04-18T00:19:32Z")
**Curtis** obviously never met my Uncle Paul. ---
**Author:** ![Markxxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@Markxxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Markxxx)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2010, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-14-year-old-daughter-get-thong-underwear/536436/64 "2010-04-18T00:23:11Z")
The simple answer is, if she buys it, she can wear it. Clothes, like hair are a the first sign of individualism in a child. It’s one of the few ways they can rebel against the parental norm. Of course the underlying worry is, why would your daughter want such things? If they aren’t for comfort, then they are only for looks right? So who on Earth is looking at my daugher? Or who does she want to show off for? Well that’s most likely the real issue here. And she may be using them to intice or she may be using them to rebel. Who knows? I once knew of a teen who put his picture on a gay barebacking website. When I confronted him, he calmly replied, “If my mother is gonna snoop all over my computer, I’ll give her something to look at.” Kids never change 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2010, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-14-year-old-daughter-get-thong-underwear/536436/65 "2010-04-18T00:27:31Z")
I find it silly that we’re even discussing the issue: Of _course_ she wants a thong because of the sexual aspect. The real question is, to quote a personal hero of mine: What’s the big fucking deal, bitch? ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2010, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-14-year-old-daughter-get-thong-underwear/536436/66 "2010-04-18T00:34:40Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > I find it silly that we’re even discussing the issue: Of _course_ she wants a thong because of the sexual aspect. The real question is, to quote a personal hero of mine: > > What’s the big fucking deal, bitch? Or, it’s about VPL. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2010, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-14-year-old-daughter-get-thong-underwear/536436/67 "2010-04-18T00:37:50Z")
I’m confused by your response, **Guin**. My chimpanzee brain isn’t working too good atm. ---
**Author:** ![Sir\_T-Cups](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ed655f/32.png) [@Sir\_T-Cups](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sir_T-Cups)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2010, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-14-year-old-daughter-get-thong-underwear/536436/68 "2010-04-18T01:38:18Z")
I have nothing to add cept to say boyshorts are way less hot than advertised. I prefer a nice bikini style…especially with strings on the side. Then again…having a girl to see them on would be neat too… ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2010, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-14-year-old-daughter-get-thong-underwear/536436/69 "2010-04-18T01:40:27Z")
No. Ignore **Sir T-Cups**. All women should wear boyshorts. I would be willing to cast aside my libertarian views, become anti-abortion and pro-socialism if it came with the caveat that all women would be required by law to wear boyshorts. ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2010, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-14-year-old-daughter-get-thong-underwear/536436/70 "2010-04-18T01:48:35Z")
> [@Sateryn76](#): > > **Should I let my 14-year old daughter get thong underwear?** As a baby shower gift? Let her rebel on her own time. The official line is HELL NO. ---
**Author:** ![Perciful](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b38774/32.png) [@Perciful](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Perciful)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2010, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-14-year-old-daughter-get-thong-underwear/536436/71 "2010-04-18T01:50:29Z")
As long as she is responsible for washing them! ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2010, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-14-year-old-daughter-get-thong-underwear/536436/72 "2010-04-18T02:03:02Z")
I heard a spot on NPR the other day about children and rebellion. Basically the behavioral psychologist they interviewed said kids tend to be great at following the rules when it comes to helping out around the house, bedtime, curfew and all that shit, but they draw the line at clothing and who their friends are because they need some degree of personal expression and control over their own lives. Bottom line is, if you don’t give her permission, she’ll probably get them anyway and wear them secretly. And personally I think it’s her right to do so. ---
**Author:** ![Rushgeekgirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rushgeekgirl/32/3715_2.png) [@Rushgeekgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rushgeekgirl)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2010, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-14-year-old-daughter-get-thong-underwear/536436/73 "2010-04-18T02:12:16Z")
It’s just underpants, and they don’t give you a panty line. Boyshorts are cute but they roll up a little on some of us. That makes an awful panty line. ---
**Author:** ![Obsidian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/51bf81/32.png) [@Obsidian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Obsidian)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2010, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-14-year-old-daughter-get-thong-underwear/536436/74 "2010-04-18T02:27:24Z")
> [@Markxxx](#): > > Of course the underlying worry is, why would your daughter want such things? If they aren’t for comfort, then they are only for looks right? So who on Earth is looking at my daugher? Or who does she want to show off for? Well that’s most likely the real issue here. If I might posit a theory. . . the other girls in the gym locker room. I remember being a teenager, and realizing that I was the only girl wearing “kid panties”. All the rest of the girls wore bikinis, and I felt self conscious. Depending on where your daughter is in the social standing, comments may be made. She may not want a thong for boys, but for the other girls, because they wear thongs. It was four more years before a boy saw my underwear. (As a side note, I wear thongs for comfort. I have the problem of having a very small ass, and non-thong underwear come in two varieties: Ones that fit the ass but leave red marks because the leg holes are two tight, of fit the legs and leave saggy fabric bunching on my ass, pulling the underwear up or down and generally being uncomfortable. I get the thinnest g-string I can find, and it’s entirely for comfort) ---
**Author:** ![crowmanyclouds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crowmanyclouds/32/19884_2.png) [@crowmanyclouds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crowmanyclouds)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2010, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-14-year-old-daughter-get-thong-underwear/536436/75 "2010-04-18T02:55:30Z")
> [@Curtis LeMay](#): > > … the moral decency of the Roman Republic … :dubious: > [@](#): > > Life in the Roman Republic revolved around the city of Rome, and its famed seven hills. The city also had several theatres. gymnasiums, and many taverns, baths and **brothels**. … > … By the time of Augustus, cultured Greek household **slaves** taught the Roman young (sometimes even the girls). … > … **The Pater familias was the absolute head of the family** ; he was the master over his wife, his children, the wives of his sons, the nephews, the slaves and the freedmen, **disposing of them and of their goods at will, even putting them to death**. Roman law recognised only patrician families as legal entities. > > Slavery and slaves were part of the social order; there were slave markets where they could be bought and sold. Many slaves were freed by the masters for services rendered; some slaves could save money to buy their freedom. Generally **mutilation and murder of slaves was prohibited by legislation**. It is estimated that over 25% of the Roman population was enslaved. …[RIGHT][CITE](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roman_Republic#Culture)[/RIGHT] :eek: > [@Curtis LeMay](#): > > Unlike having restraint and … and abstience like our grandparents … Ya really think that Grandma and Grandpa are honestly gonna tell you how many blow-jobs etc they gave/got (and not necessarily to each other) before they got married? CMC fnord! ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2010, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-14-year-old-daughter-get-thong-underwear/536436/76 "2010-04-18T03:41:14Z")
> [@crowmanyclouds](#): > > :dubious::eek:Ya really think that Grandma and Grandpa are honestly gonna tell you how many blow-jobs etc they gave/got (and not necessarily to each other) before they got married? > > CMC fnord! Seriously. My grandma was a slut. ---
**Author:** ![Sateryn76](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Sateryn76](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sateryn76)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2010, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-14-year-old-daughter-get-thong-underwear/536436/77 "2010-04-18T04:49:38Z")
This is great feedback, and after talking about it with her, and further analysis, I’m thinking I’ll let her get a couple of plain cotton pairs. I’ve registered my discomfort with her, hopefully letting her think she’s gaining a notch in her independence belt. And, she said that she wanted them so she felt good about her body - more confident. Like any 14-year old girl, she’s self-conscious about her body. Her boobs and butt came in before her torso lengthened, so she looks a little pudgy right now. I was talking to my husband, and I realized that wearing a thong will make her feel more sexy, and that feeling is one that strengthens self-esteem. But, the trick is, because it makes her feel better about herself, it makes it less likely that she’ll give in to some boy who wants to feel her up. Right? She is smart and a good kid (she decided not to go to a friend’s sleepover because one of them was going to sneak some liquor in her sleeping bag), and I have enough involvement and rules in her life that I know what’s going on almost 100% - I let her have some secret stuff to control, like her Facebook and her texting. Plus, due to a partial nerd label, she’s not with a fast crowd. Strange, that feeling more sexy makes you less susceptible to sexual pressure, but that feels right to me. Thanks! ---
**Author:** ![Sateryn76](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Sateryn76](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sateryn76)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2010, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-14-year-old-daughter-get-thong-underwear/536436/78 "2010-04-18T04:52:24Z")
And, FWIW, I think all sorts of hot, sweaty, no strings attached sex is a great thing to have in your life. Just not when you’re 14 😉 Sex is of course primitive - and fantastic! ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2010, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-14-year-old-daughter-get-thong-underwear/536436/79 "2010-04-18T04:53:03Z")
> [@Sateryn76](#): > > This is great feedback, and after talking about it with her, and further analysis, I’m thinking I’ll let her get a couple of plain cotton pairs. > > I’ve registered my discomfort with her, hopefully letting her think she’s gaining a notch in her independence belt. And, she said that she wanted them so she felt good about her body - more confident. > > Like any 14-year old girl, she’s self-conscious about her body. Her boobs and butt came in before her torso lengthened, so she looks a little pudgy right now. I was talking to my husband, and I realized that wearing a thong will make her feel more sexy, and that feeling is one that strengthens self-esteem. But, the trick is, because it makes her feel better about herself, it makes it less likely that she’ll give in to some boy who wants to feel her up. Right? > > She is smart and a good kid (she decided not to go to a friend’s sleepover because one of them was going to sneak some liquor in her sleeping bag), and I have enough involvement and rules in her life that I know what’s going on almost 100% - I let her have some secret stuff to control, like her Facebook and her texting. Plus, due to a partial nerd label, she’s not with a fast crowd. > > Strange, that feeling more sexy makes you less susceptible to sexual pressure, but that feels right to me. > > Thanks! I think you handled it perfectly. Making it seem like you caved creates an illusion of control in her mind. And you’re right. 14 is old enough to be self-conscious about your body. I’m not condoning letting her stay out all night, get gangbanged and snort cocaine. But it’s a fucking thong. Good job. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2010, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-14-year-old-daughter-get-thong-underwear/536436/80 "2010-04-18T04:55:45Z")
> [@Sateryn76](#): > > And, FWIW, I think all sorts of hot, sweaty, no strings attached sex is a great thing to have in your life. Just not when you’re 14 😉 > > Sex is of course primitive - and fantastic! Best mom evar. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-14-year-old-daughter-get-thong-underwear/536436.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-14-year-old-daughter-get-thong-underwear/536436.md?page=5)