# Should I let my 14-year old daughter get thong underwear? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 17, 2010, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-14-year-old-daughter-get-thong-underwear/536436 "2010-04-17T05:15:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Zygoma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/ee7513/32.png) [@Zygoma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zygoma)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 9:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-14-year-old-daughter-get-thong-underwear/536436/121 "2010-04-20T09:57:23Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > It’s because they are sexy. I think that all the people saying “oh, she wants a thong because it’s comfortable” are kidding themselves, even if thongs are indeed more comfortable. So you accept that comfortability is a factor, but think that it couldn’t possibly be the only factor? So every woman who wears one does so for sex appeal? > [@](#): > > Absolutely not. I was implying that the idea of girls wearing sexy clothing where boys don’t is as indoctrinated into us as the idea of boys paying for dates. Fathers will never have to chastise their sons for dressing sexily because a.) Most boys won’t dress in scanty, sexually provocative clothing to begin with because b.) It’s expected that girls are the ones that fulfill that role. I think there’s a very fine line for women to walk with regards to dressing in “scanty, sexually provocative clothing”. While there may be social pressures to look sexually appealing, it’s very easy to go too far and get socially ostracised for being a ‘slut’ or ‘whore’ simply for dressing a particular way. It’s certainly not a universal expectation to dress that way, nor do I think it’s expected to go to any extremes in everyday situations. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 10:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-14-year-old-daughter-get-thong-underwear/536436/122 "2010-04-20T10:05:48Z")
> [@Zygoma](#): > > So every woman who wears one does so for sex appeal? Nope. ---
**Author:** ![Zygoma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/ee7513/32.png) [@Zygoma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zygoma)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 10:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-14-year-old-daughter-get-thong-underwear/536436/123 "2010-04-20T10:15:51Z")
Then why shouldn’t that apply in this case? Or indeed, even the aforementioned reason of avoiding VPL? ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 10:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-14-year-old-daughter-get-thong-underwear/536436/124 "2010-04-20T10:23:48Z")
As I said upthread, I’m only 20. I’m just recently (if two years ago is recent) out of high school. I’m not going to claim any kind of cosmic understanding of girls but I think, based on my (admittedly limited) experience that it’s silly to think that the sexiness of the garment isn’t at least partially what’s motivating the choice. Sure, she could be the exceptional 14 year old girl who somehow knows that they’re more comfortable, but I think it very unlikely. And again, even though I think the sexual element of the garment is of partial motivation, I don’t think that’s a bad thing. ---
**Author:** ![chela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chela/32/21582_2.png) [@chela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chela)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 10:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-14-year-old-daughter-get-thong-underwear/536436/125 "2010-04-20T10:46:32Z")
I blame that madonna reincarnate, lady GaGa for the upsurge in teenybopper’s interest in thong underwear. I say let the 14 yo wear the thong, just inform her about the whale tails, visible thong lines, and other consequences of wardrobe failures. ---
**Author:** ![AuntiePam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@AuntiePam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuntiePam)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-14-year-old-daughter-get-thong-underwear/536436/126 "2010-04-20T13:22:59Z")
> [@chela](#): > > I say let the 14 yo wear the thong, just inform her about the whale tails, visible thong lines, and other consequences of wardrobe failures. This makes sense. She probably wants them because her friends are wearing them. I think it’s a small thing to give in on. Tattoos and piercings are where you might want to draw the battle lines. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-14-year-old-daughter-get-thong-underwear/536436/127 "2010-04-20T13:24:46Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > Wow. Who knew grown women could get so uptight about thongs? Let’s try not to break the rolleyes smiley… > > And yes, people talk about teenage boys’ underwear \*all \* the time, and how they wear their pants, so let’s not pretend that the poor teenaged girls are so maligned. Actually, I get uptight and rolleyes-y about absurd “medical” advice from unqualified people. And unless you figure that the girl intends to wear her thong eight inches above her dangling pants, there’s no equivalence to the conversations about boys underwear that you refer to. I think we can all agree that we’re entitled to have an opinion about underwear we can actually _see_. I’m a little less clear on why people feel the need to concern themselves with what teenage girls should be “allowed” to wear under their clothes. ---
**Author:** ![chela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chela/32/21582_2.png) [@chela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chela)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-14-year-old-daughter-get-thong-underwear/536436/128 "2010-04-20T13:38:17Z")
> [@AuntiePam](#): > > This makes sense. She probably wants them because her friends are wearing them. I think it’s a small thing to give in on. Tattoos and piercings are where you might want to draw the battle lines. For sure, and speaking of battle lines just this week my 14yo was telling me about the older brother of a friend who likes to wear skinny jeans. His parents hate skinny jeans, so they will let this 16yo get a tattoo if he promises to not wear skinny jeans. Isnt that stupid!(he wrestles, it’s cool to tat your family name on your back, yeah like a cage fighter truly wtf!). So what next, he gets inked and starts wearing lowriders? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-14-year-old-daughter-get-thong-underwear/536436/129 "2010-04-20T14:31:30Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > Is she planning to climb Everest in them? Damn, I was going to suggest climbing Everest, but you beat me there by a comfortable margin. ---
**Author:** ![tagos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@tagos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tagos)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-14-year-old-daughter-get-thong-underwear/536436/130 "2010-04-20T15:29:44Z")
> [@Curtis LeMay](#): > > Observe how the moral decency of the Roman Republic . And observe how that statement is ludicrously untrue to anyone with even a passing acquaintance with ancient history. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-14-year-old-daughter-get-thong-underwear/536436/131 "2010-04-20T15:30:06Z")
I’m not saying that girls don’t dress sexy–I’m saying that maybe we as a society are more likely to interpret what girls are wearing as sexy than when a guy wears it, and to react with shock and awe accordingly. If a girl and a guy wear a tight tank top, on the girl it’s shocking and possibly inappropriate because “Oh no, boobs!” I don’t hear people saying that revealing or tight clothes will make a guy too sexualized at a young age or that it’ll get him wrong attention. It probably won’t get him the wrong kind of attention, true, but I think that’s because we assume as a society that it’s normal for everyone to have some opinion on a woman’s body. ---
**Author:** ![tagos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@tagos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tagos)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-14-year-old-daughter-get-thong-underwear/536436/132 "2010-04-20T15:32:15Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > Curtis is a 94 year-old fundamentalist in a 13 year-old’s body. Not an insult, just saying! God Bless Viagra. ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-14-year-old-daughter-get-thong-underwear/536436/133 "2010-04-20T15:44:39Z")
> [@Curtis LeMay](#): > > Unlike having restraint and recognizes the benefits of an orderly family structure and abstience like our grandparents Read “Cheaper by the Dozen”. Not any of the movie versions, the book. You will probably enjoy it (I did, around your age). It is set in the 1920s. There is a scene, in the latter part of the book: Anne, the oldest daughter, wants to start wearing teddy underwear and silk stockings. The father initially refuses to give her permission, but eventually does This thread reminded me of that scene. It shows that this same sort of thing was going on between parents and children in the 1920s. My grandmother was a flapper. > [@chela](#): > > For sure, and speaking of battle lines just this week my 14yo was telling me about the older brother of a friend who likes to wear skinny jeans. His parents hate skinny jeans, so they will let this 16yo get a tattoo if he promises to not wear skinny jeans. OK. So that he won’t wear a pair of jeans that will get donated to Goodwill or thrown out sometime in the next few years, they’re letting him get a tattoo that he’ll have for the rest of his life. 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Gagundathar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a183cd/32.png) [@Gagundathar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gagundathar)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-14-year-old-daughter-get-thong-underwear/536436/134 "2010-04-20T16:01:34Z")
When I read **Curtis Lemay** ’s dismissive post, I was reminded of this: > [@](#): > > I see no hope for the future of our people if they are dependent on > the frivolous youth of today, for certainly all youth are reckless > beyond words. When I was a boy, we were taught to be discrete and > respectful of elders, but the present youth are exceedingly wise and > impatient of restraint. — Hesiod, Eighth Century BCE ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-14-year-old-daughter-get-thong-underwear/536436/135 "2010-04-20T16:47:30Z")
Yeah, but tramp stamps? THONGS? Can you get any more debauched? It’s up there with eating till you vomit and then picking out a eunuch to service you orally while you fiddle as Rome burns. ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-14-year-old-daughter-get-thong-underwear/536436/136 "2010-04-20T16:59:16Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > Yeah, but tramp stamps? THONGS? Can you get any more debauched? It’s up there with eating till you vomit and then picking out a eunuch to service you orally while you fiddle as Rome burns. What about [feeding slaves who displeased you to moray eels](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vedius_Pollio)? Or [having people fight to the death to honor the deceased at a funeral](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gladiator)? Or [killing obviously deformed children](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paterfamilias#Children) at birth? A pater familias was _required by law_ to do that, not just recommended or allowed to do it. Is allowing a 14-year-old to wear a thong worse than those things? ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-14-year-old-daughter-get-thong-underwear/536436/137 "2010-04-20T17:02:12Z")
**Anne**. These girls…are uncovered. You can see their bare circuits! ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-14-year-old-daughter-get-thong-underwear/536436/138 "2010-04-20T17:25:22Z")
Maybe the kid should just go commando. ---
**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2010, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-14-year-old-daughter-get-thong-underwear/536436/139 "2010-04-21T03:20:35Z")
> [@Curtis LeMay](#): > > Unfortunately quite true. Spengler foresaw in 1918 that Western civilization would gradually degenerate into more primitive attitudes on sex in the next few centuries. Observe how the moral decency of the Roman Republic degenerated into the notorious hedonism of the later Principate. Historian John Keegan had [something to](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=11659265&postcount=21) say about the pathological character of classical Rome – the same Rome whose moral decency you extol. This is exactly the disconnect Americans have when rating movies. A little sex, even committed sex between married people, gets a more severe rating than almost limitless quantities of murder. Not having sex, while killing your gladiators for entertainment and your neighbors as a matter of…almost _habit_, is a weird definition of “moral decency.” edit: ah, I see other folks caught this one. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![PandaBear77](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@PandaBear77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PandaBear77)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2010, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-14-year-old-daughter-get-thong-underwear/536436/140 "2010-04-22T01:46:20Z")
Mom of a 9 year old girl. She will not be wearing thongs in 5 years. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-14-year-old-daughter-get-thong-underwear/536436.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-let-my-14-year-old-daughter-get-thong-underwear/536436.md?page=8)