# Should I make my son graduate on stage? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 9, 2012, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-make-my-son-graduate-on-stage/643487 "2012-12-09T04:42:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-make-my-son-graduate-on-stage/643487/61 "2012-12-11T00:32:04Z")
> [@jz78817](#): > > Bold text != losing my shit, but if it makes you feel better to think so, I can’t stop you. > > So? Good for them. I’ve made it clear in this thread that I am only speaking for myself. You wanting to speak on others’ behalf is your own problem. > > I’m not the one telling people I’ve never met what they should do. Being a teacher doesn’t make you an authority on this. Okay, snowflake, you’re unique and special. Even more unique and more special than any other snow that ever flaked. In your case, it was something deeper, more important, and complex than teen bullshit. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-make-my-son-graduate-on-stage/643487/62 "2012-12-11T00:33:41Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > Okay, snowflake, you’re unique and special. Even more unique and more special than any other snow that ever flaked. In your case, it was something deeper, more important, and complex than teen bullshit. You’re taking this thread really seriously. ---
**Author:** ![Sahirrnee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sahirrnee/32/13937_2.png) [@Sahirrnee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sahirrnee)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-make-my-son-graduate-on-stage/643487/63 "2012-12-11T00:35:00Z")
Wow Ask a simple question 😃 I can see both sides, pro and con. In all honesty, I don’t care one way or the other, I just like for my son to be happy. If it makes his grandmother unhappy they will have to work it out. I understand it’s a milestone but my son is pretty oblivious to milestones and ceremonies. It’s not his thing at all. I understand that sometimes kids need to learn that they have to do things even when they don’t want to but I’m not sure this is one of them. I’m not sure how big his class is but I’m sure it’s at least 600 because he goes to a big school. I doubt if anybody will notice if a few students aren’t there. I have a little more time to order the cap and gown, so he can take a few more weeks to decide, or rather change his mind. He may decide to do it for his grandmother, then again she may be traveling anyway. Anyway, thank y’all for your input. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-make-my-son-graduate-on-stage/643487/64 "2012-12-11T00:39:17Z")
> [@sahirrnee](#): > > I understand it’s a milestone but my son is pretty oblivious to milestones and ceremonies. It’s not his thing at all. If he’s oblivious because he doesn’t care about ceremonies and it’s not his thing, like you write here, he won’t regret not going (and he’ll likely elope if he ever decides to marry, so gird your loins!) Now if he’s just kind of an clueless to the world sort of person and you know he’s ended up regretting not being involved in stuff, remind him of that. I’m usually the first type of person, but there are some things I DO care about, I’m just not always paying attention. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-make-my-son-graduate-on-stage/643487/65 "2012-12-11T00:40:51Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > You’re taking this thread really seriously. Nah. The printed word doesn’t convey the giggling tone in which that should be read and none of the smilies are a good match. Teenagers already take themselves way too seriously. Especially teenagers in their twenties and thirties (or more). I enjoy making light of their existential angst over a ceremony that is mainly so mom and dad and grandma can feel proud of them for a bit. ---
**Author:** ![Spud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spud/32/347_2.png) [@Spud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spud)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-make-my-son-graduate-on-stage/643487/66 "2012-12-11T00:46:53Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > Uh…no. If you say it wasn’t a big deal to YOU, then you aren’t making any statement about anyone else’s experience. Only when you don’t include “to YOU” do you sound like you’re taking the wind out of anyone’s sails. Uh… no. My response was to **Jsgoddess** in agreement that I personally didn’t feel that the ceremony was a big deal, but I have the social awareness to understand that it is for many and I have no problem putting on a cap and gown and spending an hour or so listening to speeches and joining my friends in celebrating a common accomplishment. And again… this thread asked for opinions… it is in IMHO… my opinion is that it would be polite and acceptable to attend the ceremony and he should do it. Feel free to disagree with me. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-make-my-son-graduate-on-stage/643487/67 "2012-12-11T00:51:50Z")
If kid doesn’t care and the parents don’t care, who is the kid appeasing? Friends not even mentioned in the OP? What if the kid’s friends aren’t going either? ---
**Author:** ![Spud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spud/32/347_2.png) [@Spud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spud)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-make-my-son-graduate-on-stage/643487/68 "2012-12-11T00:59:28Z")
Whatever… my opinion is that it is a normal expectation of society. As I stated earlier I fully expected the people here who tend to lean to the asocial part of the population to disagree with me… and they didn’t disappoint. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-make-my-son-graduate-on-stage/643487/69 "2012-12-11T01:30:02Z")
> [@Spud](#): > > Whatever… my opinion is that it is a normal expectation of society. As I stated earlier I fully expected the people here who tend to lean to the asocial part of the population to disagree with me… and they didn’t disappoint. At least our side has reason and logic going for it. Your opinion lacks both. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-make-my-son-graduate-on-stage/643487/70 "2012-12-11T01:32:03Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > I never attended my high school or college graduations. Fuck that. You were lucky. My college made it clear, if you didn’t attend, you would have a hell of a time getting your hands on your diploma. They assumed that anyone who rented the costume would attend, as you turned it in after the ceremony. It was easier to attend than go through all the BS not attending caused. HS was different. We left the graduation ceremony for grad night at Disneyland. No one wanted to miss that. ---
**Author:** ![Spud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spud/32/347_2.png) [@Spud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spud)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-make-my-son-graduate-on-stage/643487/71 "2012-12-11T01:35:13Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > At least our side has reason and logic going for it. Your opinion lacks both. Ok Sheldon… we understand that you just don’t get it. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-make-my-son-graduate-on-stage/643487/72 "2012-12-11T01:35:21Z")
And I should add, being as how I’m all asocial and junk… I actually enjoyed all three of my graduation ceremonies. But what I wouldn’t have enjoyed was having to sit beside some dour-looking person who obviously didn’t want to be there. And I sure as hell wouldn’t have wanted the audience to be full of unhappy spectators either. If we’re having a celebration, let’s celebrate. But sulkers need not come. ---
**Author:** ![jz78817](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jz78817/32/1028_2.png) [@jz78817](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jz78817)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-make-my-son-graduate-on-stage/643487/73 "2012-12-11T01:35:24Z")
> [@Spud](#): > > Whatever… my opinion is that it is a normal expectation of society So was slavery, at one point. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-make-my-son-graduate-on-stage/643487/74 "2012-12-11T01:42:23Z")
> [@jz78817](#): > > So was slavery, at one point. Shut down the internet. ---
**Author:** ![Spud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spud/32/347_2.png) [@Spud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spud)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-make-my-son-graduate-on-stage/643487/75 "2012-12-11T02:07:31Z")
> [@jz78817](#): > > So was slavery, at one point. Ok… you win. You not only took it to the race card… now if I think someone should attend a normally accepted ceremony celebrating a milestone in many people’s lives I’m now supporting slavery. Well done sir! Damn my opinions… I’m now a supporter of slavery!!! Wait… if over 50% of the class attends the ceremony does that mean that the majority of people support slavery? Cool… I’ve got all this damn cotton that I really don’t want to pick by myself. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-make-my-son-graduate-on-stage/643487/76 "2012-12-11T02:19:22Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > If kid doesn’t care and the parents don’t care, who is the kid appeasing? Friends not even mentioned in the OP? What if the kid’s friends aren’t going either? The graduation fairy won’t give you any good pasteboard with an attitude like that, missy. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-make-my-son-graduate-on-stage/643487/77 "2012-12-11T02:22:18Z")
> [@Spud](#): > > Ok… you win. You not only took it to the race card… now if I think someone should attend a normally accepted ceremony celebrating a milestone in many people’s lives I’m now supporting slavery. Well done sir! > > Damn my opinions… I’m now a supporter of slavery!!! > > Wait… if over 50% of the class attends the ceremony does that mean that the majority of people support slavery? Cool… I’ve got all this damn cotton that I really don’t want to pick by myself. You know who else liked ceremonies, don’t you? ---
**Author:** ![Spud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spud/32/347_2.png) [@Spud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spud)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-make-my-son-graduate-on-stage/643487/78 "2012-12-11T02:29:21Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > You know who else liked ceremonies, don’t you? Heil yes I do. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-make-my-son-graduate-on-stage/643487/79 "2012-12-11T02:31:43Z")
> [@jz78817](#): > > So was slavery, at one point. Well, this went an unexpected direction! ---
**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-make-my-son-graduate-on-stage/643487/80 "2012-12-11T02:36:23Z")
> [@Modern\_Master](#): > > I didn’t partake in the ceremonies for my undergrad and grad. > > I’m going to be perfectly honest. All I wanted was that damn piece of paper that said “I came, I saw, I conquered.” And you don’t even GET it at the ceremony. They give you and empty holder and mail you the certificate later. I skipped both of mine as well. I did order a tassel and mortarboard because I like the way they look. I covered it with zebra fabric and wore it around sometimes. If your mom and grandma and mailman enjoy watching people graduate they’re perfectly welcome to attend. The fact that YOU accomplished something is your achievement not theirs, their opinions and feelings are meaningless. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-make-my-son-graduate-on-stage/643487.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-make-my-son-graduate-on-stage/643487.md?page=5)