# Should I pay the sitter for this? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 26, 2012, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-pay-the-sitter-for-this/626349 "2012-06-26T15:08:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2012, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-pay-the-sitter-for-this/626349/41 "2012-06-26T20:05:34Z")
Couldn’t you just find another day for her to work? If not, I think you should just pay her anyway. Consider it a bonus since you seemed to be satisfied with her work. ---
**Author:** ![Rhiannon8404](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhiannon8404/32/17929_2.png) [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2012, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-pay-the-sitter-for-this/626349/42 "2012-06-26T20:07:16Z")
I agree with all those who said pay her anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Ca3799](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9f8e36/32.png) [@Ca3799](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ca3799)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2012, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-pay-the-sitter-for-this/626349/43 "2012-06-26T22:07:28Z")
If you value her and her flexibility, you should pay her. She could have scheduled other jobs and good, trustworthy sitters could be hard to find. When mine were little, if I cancelled, I paid. If the sitter cancelled, I did not pay. But, that was the deal we made. No, it wasn’t totally fair but if I just cancelled randomly, she would have wanted to fill that spot with a more regular customer. She needed to be able to plan to pay her bills. I needed a quality, reliable sitter. ---
**Author:** ![FallFast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ba9def/32.png) [@FallFast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FallFast)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2012, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-pay-the-sitter-for-this/626349/44 "2012-06-26T22:34:15Z")
Pay her for the full week. You basically agreed to a weekly rate. Most day cares that I know of will charge you for the days you’ve agreed to per week whether you show up or not. You have scheduled her time and owe her the money whether you use it or not. ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2012, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-pay-the-sitter-for-this/626349/45 "2012-06-26T22:46:27Z")
[quote=“DivineComedienne, post:37, topic:626349”] > [@CrazyCatLady](#): > > See, the problem with that is that the babysitter will _also_ be looking at it from the perspective of what kind of precedent she wants set for the rest of the summer. And the precedent she wants set is most likely NOT that it’s just peachy for the OP to cancel her at the last minute, then reschedule her, then cancel her _again_ the next day with no consequences at all (meaning that’s three days this week the babysitter has had to change her plans). QUOTE] > > This is why I want to pay her; I want her to know that I respect her time. Thanks for the ammo to explain this to Boy’s father 🙂 You’re welcome. It may also help to tell him that if she feels screwed over and quits, HE is responsible for making the replacement child care arrangements. ---
**Author:** ![Hedda\_Rosa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hedda_rosa/32/1204_2.png) [@Hedda\_Rosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hedda_Rosa)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2012, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-pay-the-sitter-for-this/626349/46 "2012-06-26T23:18:22Z")
When it comes to the person who is caring for my kids I go overboard to be generous and thoughtful. I have the money but she has my kids and I know which I value more. I even pay my sitter 75% of the usual weekly pay for planned vacation that my family takes - like if we travel for a week during the summer - just to be generous. If the sitter takes planned days off though I don’t pay her. You should pay her this time because of the goodwill and because it’ll make you feel like you did the right thing, which feels good for you too. If you think this will come up again this summer, you can work out a policy with her separately from this particular issue. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2012, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-pay-the-sitter-for-this/626349/47 "2012-06-27T00:04:13Z")
> [@DivineComedienne](#): > > I like this advice. It was the friend’s mom who invited him over at the last minute both days, I’ll talk to her and let her know the sitter’s regular schedule; perhaps she and I can better coordinate the playdates. I am going to pay the sitter for this week, apologize for the changes, and let her know we’ll try to keep it to a minimum in the future. Or maybe the other mom will want to go halfsies on the sitter (obviously the fee will be higher with two or more kids) just so she can relax a bit, too. Just something to think about :). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-pay-the-sitter-for-this/626349.md?page=2)