# Should I tell my daughter to slap this boy? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 29, 2010, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-tell-my-daughter-to-slap-this-boy/534166 "2010-03-29T01:35:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![kanicbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f8ce5/32.png) [@kanicbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kanicbird)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-tell-my-daughter-to-slap-this-boy/534166/81 "2010-04-01T00:07:31Z")
> [@nicole1912](#): > > You’re aware that these are 12 year olds that you’re talking about? And that what you suggest sounds not only an… unusual way of dealing with relationships in general, but practically insane when talking about one 12 year old teasing another that he fancies in his first year of high school? Not to mention the amount of blame your suggestion puts on a 12 year old girl, whose only “fault” appears to be existing… It doesn’t matter the age, and this doesn’t have to be sexual, though I believe it is easier to explain that way. It could happen between two children before they know what sex is, it goes to the intent of the heart, which creates the soul tie. As for how it would be her own fault, the part that was her fault is a good thing, as it allows for a correction that she can do totally independent of him, the power is in her hands to break this cycle - this is the part that many victims don’t realize, which only holds them captive. And yes in many ways the fault is existing as a imperfect human, which is how to approach it, admit that she is imperfect, couldn’t see this coming, and that she needs help breaking and to be set free from the abuse she is suffering from him. ---
**Author:** ![Mame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/858c86/32.png) [@Mame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mame)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-tell-my-daughter-to-slap-this-boy/534166/82 "2010-04-01T00:52:57Z")
> [@kanicbird](#): > > It doesn’t matter the age, and this doesn’t have to be sexual, though I believe it is easier to explain that way. It could happen between two children before they know what sex is, it goes to the intent of the heart, which creates the soul tie. . Been reading Twilight again, have we? ---
**Author:** ![Leaper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4bbf92/32.png) [@Leaper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaper)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-tell-my-daughter-to-slap-this-boy/534166/83 "2010-04-01T02:59:52Z")
> [@kanicbird](#): > > IMHO It sounds like a soul tie Paisley or bow? ---
**Author:** ![Weedy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/weedy/32/301_2.png) [@Weedy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weedy)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-tell-my-daughter-to-slap-this-boy/534166/84 "2010-04-01T06:32:12Z")
> [@FriarTed](#): > > You do correct your daughter when she is in error, don’t you? > > Would you rather she had hit him & then found out how the school handles such things? Yeah, I correct her, but I’m still not sure whether the main point of correction is that this situation did not call for violence or that, if she really thought it did, she should follow through hard. Ok, ok I do know the main point is that a different way would work better, but I think the second point is also important, I just don’t know how to say it. If she had hit him, she would have been in trouble, but I also would know that she is willing to defend herself. If she had hit him in class, she might have got detention for disrupting the class, and fair enough. If it happened in the playground, I doubt any teacher would have known about it. ---
**Author:** ![Saintly\_Loser](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saintly_loser/32/4045_2.png) [@Saintly\_Loser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saintly_Loser)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 11:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-tell-my-daughter-to-slap-this-boy/534166/85 "2010-04-01T11:48:52Z")
> [@Weedy](#): > > If she had hit him, she would have been in trouble, but I also would know that she is willing to defend herself. Hitting someone in response to teasing, or even (verbal) harassment isn’t self-defense, it’s assault. ---
**Author:** ![Dante](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dante/32/9673_2.png) [@Dante](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dante)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-tell-my-daughter-to-slap-this-boy/534166/86 "2010-04-01T13:34:35Z")
> [@kanicbird](#): > > It doesn’t matter the age, and this doesn’t have to be sexual, though I believe it is easier to explain that way. It could happen between two children before they know what sex is, it goes to the intent of the heart, which creates the soul tie. As for how it would be her own fault, the part that was her fault is a good thing, as it allows for a correction that she can do totally independent of him, the power is in her hands to break this cycle - this is the part that many victims don’t realize, which only holds them captive. > > And yes in many ways the fault is existing as a imperfect human, which is how to approach it, admit that she is imperfect, couldn’t see this coming, and that she needs help breaking and to be set free from the abuse she is suffering from him. _Raises pinkie finger_ :rolleyes: _Walks away_ ---
**Author:** ![SCSimmons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e495f1/32.png) [@SCSimmons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SCSimmons)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-tell-my-daughter-to-slap-this-boy/534166/87 "2010-04-01T18:17:52Z")
> [@Dante](#): > > _Raises pinkie finger_ > :rolleyes: > _Walks away_ So, you’re against slapping **kanicbird**. I’ll note that on the tally. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2010, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-tell-my-daughter-to-slap-this-boy/534166/88 "2010-04-03T01:46:03Z")
No on the slap. There are far worse things she could be called than a lesbian (ooooh). ---
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2010, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-tell-my-daughter-to-slap-this-boy/534166/89 "2010-04-05T00:39:16Z")
> [@Dante](#): > > _Raises pinkie finger_ > :rolleyes: > _Walks away_ Thanks to the New South Wales Roads & Transport Authority, the “raised pinky finger” thing is now generally used to deride to petrolheads doing burnouts or dragging people off at the lights etc. Not really appropriate in the OP’s context, in other words. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-tell-my-daughter-to-slap-this-boy/534166.md?page=4)