# Should I tell teacher of crush? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 18, 2002, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-tell-teacher-of-crush/143614 "2002-12-18T18:46:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Nausicaa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7c8e57/32.png) [@Nausicaa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nausicaa)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-tell-teacher-of-crush/143614/1 "2002-12-18T18:46:14Z")
Tonight’s the final exam and that means this is the last class and probably the last time I’ll see this guy. I have a semi-sort of crush on him - do I tell him? Oh yea - I’m married (happily thank you) and have no interest in pursuing anything. Do I still tell or is that too weird? N. ---
**Author:** ![XJETGIRLX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/9fc29f/32.png) [@XJETGIRLX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/XJETGIRLX)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-tell-teacher-of-crush/143614/2 "2002-12-18T18:48:33Z")
I think it would be appropriate to state simply, with a smile, that you really enjoyed his class. Leave it to him to figure out why. ---
**Author:** ![interface2x](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c0e974/32.png) [@interface2x](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/interface2x)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-tell-teacher-of-crush/143614/3 "2002-12-18T18:49:19Z")
Well, really, you have to think about the result. Since you are married, what result are you looking for? Aside from getting it off of your chest, there really is no point in bringing it up, as you obviously don’t plan on taking it any further. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-tell-teacher-of-crush/143614/4 "2002-12-18T18:54:33Z")
That was an interesting and appropriate choice of words. ---
**Author:** ![Nausicaa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7c8e57/32.png) [@Nausicaa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nausicaa)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-tell-teacher-of-crush/143614/5 "2002-12-18T18:56:22Z")
Interface2x - I know - you’re right. I needed someone to smack me upside the head. Thank!🙂 N ---
**Author:** ![merge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9f8e36/32.png) [@merge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/merge)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-tell-teacher-of-crush/143614/6 "2002-12-18T18:59:05Z")
No… what the hell is the point? if you don’t plan on doing anything about it… It really depends on your relationship with your husband… Always think of the worst possible consequence before you do something you have to question… for example… if it got back to your husband by some strange circumstance, does he get angry or laugh it off?? I wouldn’t tell them. Telling them while not intending to act on it creates false hopes… maybe he has the same feelings and will get into a jealous rage when you say that you aren’t going to do anything about it… I would go with Jetgirl… say it without saying it… so you never really incriminate yourself. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-tell-teacher-of-crush/143614/7 "2002-12-18T19:03:31Z")
On the last day of my abnormal psychology class I filled out the ‘evaluation form’ informing the teacher that I wanted very desperately to have sex with him. Never saw him again, but I’m sure it gave him a little thrill and it was the truth. Totally harmless. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-tell-teacher-of-crush/143614/8 "2002-12-18T19:12:05Z")
**jarbabyj** : guess it beats giving the teacher an apple. ---
**Author:** ![stofsky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dfb087/32.png) [@stofsky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stofsky)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-tell-teacher-of-crush/143614/9 "2002-12-18T19:21:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jarbabyj \* > \*\*On the last day of my abnormal psychology class I filled out the ‘evaluation form’ informing the teacher that I wanted very desperately to have sex with him. > > Never saw him again, but I’m sure it gave him a little thrill and it was the truth. > > Totally harmless. 😃 \*\* Not necessarily harmless–he’s not the only one who reads those evaluations. University departments and professors are very nervous about the least sexual impropriety, and in most places that includes after the student has been graded and even graduated. To the OP, telling the prof this right after the exam, but before they’re graded could set up a conflict of interest or the possibility of sexual harrassment (or the appearance thereof). I say don’t. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-tell-teacher-of-crush/143614/10 "2002-12-18T19:34:34Z")
I had been graded. We didn’t receive the evaluations until it we were given our grades. The evaluations were anonymous and I’d been flirting with him all semester. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-tell-teacher-of-crush/143614/11 "2002-12-18T19:36:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by stofsky \* > \*\*Not necessarily harmless–he’s not the only one who reads those evaluations. > \*\* Good point. At my college the student evaluations were kept on record at the library, and anyone who went to the college could borrow them from the reserve desk. I never borrowed any (I was tempted to see if my Eco professor got scathing reviews from my classmates, though), but some people did to “preview” a professor before signing up for a class. As for the OP I wouldn’t say anything about the crush either, since there doesn’t seem to be anything gained from it, and it could cause him problems. ---
**Author:** ![XJETGIRLX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/9fc29f/32.png) [@XJETGIRLX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/XJETGIRLX)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-tell-teacher-of-crush/143614/12 "2002-12-18T19:42:59Z")
If you absolutely _must_ let someone know, try [Rate My Professors](http://www.ratemyprofessors.com). They give you an option to post a review, and a chili pepper rating for er, well, hotness. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-tell-teacher-of-crush/143614/13 "2002-12-18T19:49:24Z")
I know my university has a website where people can rate their professors. Here it’s called CULPA. Which I have read. They all seem so downright negative, though. ---
**Author:** ![pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pseudotriton_ruber_ruber)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-tell-teacher-of-crush/143614/14 "2002-12-18T19:50:03Z")
How would you feel if a professor of yours (not one you have a crush on) were to confide his crush on you? Pretty creepy, right? How about if he was married–does that make it less creepy? Probably it makes it more creepy, since it’s more of a mixed message. People have crushes all the time (I have a couple dozen some days myself) but when they voice them, that’s kind of intrusive, unnecessary–and, well, creepy. Unless they’re willing to do something about them. Then they’re really creepy. ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-tell-teacher-of-crush/143614/15 "2002-12-18T20:07:35Z")
As an ex-prof for many years: **No. Uhhuhh. Don’t say anything. Shutup. Keep it to yourself.** (Am I making myself clear here?) ---
**Author:** ![Tir\_Tinuviel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bc79bd/32.png) [@Tir\_Tinuviel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tir_Tinuviel)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-tell-teacher-of-crush/143614/16 "2002-12-18T20:09:54Z")
nah, I’d say don’t tell him. What if he turns round and laughs at you, or worse, what if he takes it as an open offer to start stalking you. Keep it in your imagination, then you can create the reaction you want. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Nausicaa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7c8e57/32.png) [@Nausicaa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nausicaa)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-tell-teacher-of-crush/143614/17 "2002-12-18T20:17:06Z")
Thanks guys! I think I’ll just keep this to myself (and besides with my luck he’ll probably teach the next class and I’d be very embarrassed!) ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-tell-teacher-of-crush/143614/18 "2002-12-18T21:54:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by XJETGIRLX \* > \*\*If you absolutely _must_ let someone know, try [Rate My Professors](http://www.ratemyprofessors.com). > > They give you an option to post a review, and a chili pepper rating for er, well, hotness. \*\* Well, I hadn’t heard of that site before. But I checked it out to see if any of my students had listed me. (They hadn’t). But I see a few names of other teachers from my department. Just my luck – I’d probably get a few disgruntled students finding the site and end up with a low rating because I actually require them to learn the material (rather than just handing out easy A’s). For the record, I have had a few… er… “interesting” comments on student evaluation forms that I’ve gotten back. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-tell-teacher-of-crush/143614/19 "2002-12-18T22:04:49Z")
I think it’s a sad day in the world when you can flirt with people and tell them you have a crush on them. I’ve been married for eight years and had plenty of people tell me they have a crush on me and they know damn well it will never progress beyond a crush. It’s a compliment. I didn’t think it was creepy at all. And when I flirted with my professor (going to office hours every day, sitting in the front of the class, winking at him, blah blah) I was single. Who knows, we could have gone on a few dates,had a laugh. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-tell-teacher-of-crush/143614/20 "2002-12-18T22:12:23Z")
of course, I meant CAN’T flirt with people. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-tell-teacher-of-crush/143614.md?page=2)