# Should I use a doula? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 23, 2010, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-use-a-doula/533526 "2010-03-23T20:44:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 6\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Perciful](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b38774/32.png) [@Perciful](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Perciful)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2010, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-use-a-doula/533526/21 "2010-03-25T13:34:33Z")
[quote=“carlotta, post:20, topic:533526”] As a veteran of four crunchy births, I say if you feel uncomfortable say no. Sounds like you have plenty of support. This next bit is just personal story about how feelings change from birth to birth. With my first birth I was very protective and was even kind of rude to a friend who wanted to be there. I really did not want a big audience. QUOTE] I almost punched my own mother during transistion. Right before the pushing stage things can get pretty dicey for sure. My doctor said it is normal to get hostile as your body is secreting hormones to get ready for the pushing stage. ---
**Author:** ![Hari\_Seldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hari_seldon/32/5173_2.png) [@Hari\_Seldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hari_Seldon)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2010, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-use-a-doula/533526/22 "2010-03-25T14:12:59Z")
My daughter-in-law gave birth in a hospital with a midwife and a doula. No Ob/gyn, although one was on call. It is worth quoting her explanation. “I don’t trust obstetricians. I would choose a family doctor who does deliveries, but there are only two or three in all of Manhattan and I am one and my close colleague is another.” After a normal, but slow, vaginal delivery, she said that an obstetrician would have almost certainly done a cesarean. She currently delivers a few dozen babies a year. But if, in her opinion, a cesarean is called for, she will not hesitate to call for one (by an obstetrician, to be sure). She thinks people who choose home delivery are playing Russian roulette. Most of the time, it works out fine. But if it doesn’t… ---
**Author:** ![LunarPlexus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@LunarPlexus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LunarPlexus)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2010, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-use-a-doula/533526/23 "2010-03-25T17:07:05Z")
It is the far outlying case where a baby is too big to deliver vaginally. Midwives, who don’t auto default to c-section know how and do deliver “large” babies all the time. Congrats on the baby and the ultimately positive outcome, which is likely all that matters to you at this point, but others who are reading this shouldn’t rule out that the invasive hospital procedures may have contributed to the problem in the first place. > [@Ogre](#): > > Two weeks ago, my wife, who was overdue by 2 weeks, was undilated when her water broke. They were forced to try to induce, because if she had gone all the way to natural delivery, the baby would likely have been too large to fit through her pelvic opening, or have caused so much damage coming out that it would have endangered both of their lives. > > As it was, she went into shock before the induction. Her heart rate crashed, as did that of the baby. They were forced to do an emergency c-section. It was done with a minimum of fuss, and our son was born healthy. My wife is now recovering nicely, with no complications. > > In any other event, if we had not been in a modern hospital, being taken care of by professional medical personnel, I would likely have lost one or both of them, and be in mourning right now, instead of celebrating the fact that I have a healthy, happy family. > > Forget the granola crunchiness, and go with the pros. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2010, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-use-a-doula/533526/24 "2010-03-25T17:17:52Z")
The other advantage of having a doula that’s not a family member is that they can also be the videographer, thus ensuring that true family members are in all the shots. Make sure and ask if they know how to post the completed videos to the web. ---
**Author:** ![Hyperelastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Hyperelastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hyperelastic)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2010, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-use-a-doula/533526/25 "2010-03-27T00:12:38Z")
Our first son was born in a hospital with a midwife in attendance instead of a doc. My wife’s labor went on for…ev…er. As in, 29 hours. It was natural and it sucked. If I’d been in a normal state of mind, I would have said, “Get us a doctor, and get this over with, now” at about the 18-hour mark. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2010, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-use-a-doula/533526/26 "2010-03-27T00:41:36Z")
> [@Hyperelastic](#): > > Our first son was born in a hospital with a midwife in attendance instead of a doc. My wife’s labor went on for…ev…er. As in, 29 hours. It was natural and it sucked. If I’d been in a normal state of mind, I would have said, “Get us a doctor, and get this over with, now” at about the 18-hour mark. I’m not discounting your experience in any way, but, erm, what does this have to do with the OP? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-use-a-doula/533526.md?page=1)