# Should I use my powers for good or evil? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 14, 2012, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-use-my-powers-for-good-or-evil/621937 "2012-05-14T23:25:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Mikeisskeptical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@Mikeisskeptical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mikeisskeptical)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2012, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-use-my-powers-for-good-or-evil/621937/1 "2012-05-14T23:25:29Z")
Today I solved a Rubik’s cube in 2 mins 26 seconds. I calculated (in my head!) that I would only have to speed up this action by 30 times in order to demolish all previous records. Additionally, I once beat this kid at chess and he said, quite convincingly, that he had NEVER lost before. The tentative hypothesis that I am an undiscovered genius, perhaps the rival of Newton, or that other guy, the italian helicopter dude, cannot be considered proven at present I confess. The evidence however, all seems to be mounting in the same direction. At what stage should I consider my results conclusive and how best can I use my remarkable talents for the benefit/enslavement of mankind? ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2012, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-use-my-powers-for-good-or-evil/621937/2 "2012-05-14T23:33:52Z")
> [@Mikeisskeptical](#): > > Today I solved a Rubik’s cube in 2 mins 26 seconds. I calculated (in my head!) that I would only have to speed up this action by 30 times in order to demolish all previous records. Additionally, I once beat this kid at chess and he said, quite convincingly, that he had NEVER lost before. The tentative hypothesis that I am an undiscovered genius, perhaps the rival of Newton, or that other guy, the italian helicopter dude, cannot be considered proven at present I confess. The evidence however, all seems to be mounting in the same direction. At what stage should I consider my results conclusive and how best can I use my remarkable talents for the benefit/enslavement of mankind? Chess has a well-established rating system, which will show you where you stand. Perhaps your opponent had never played before? ---
**Author:** ![Capt\_Kirk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@Capt\_Kirk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capt_Kirk)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2012, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-use-my-powers-for-good-or-evil/621937/3 "2012-05-14T23:49:53Z")
Evil and Evil only, we need more super villains. Some has to take over for Kim(terrible misspelling) of North Korea his son isn’t scary enough. You will need a dim witted assistant ---
**Author:** ![Mikeisskeptical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@Mikeisskeptical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mikeisskeptical)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2012, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-use-my-powers-for-good-or-evil/621937/4 "2012-05-15T00:02:10Z")
> [@Capt\_Kirk](#): > > Evil and Evil only, we need more super villains. Some has to take over for Kim(terrible misspelling) of North Korea his son isn’t scary enough. You will need a dim witted assistant Of course! It’s all so clear to me now. Civilisation will rue the day it (in no significant way) crossed… Professor Coolio Von Mega-schlong!!! Mwa ha ha ha! (super villain name is a working title, also will I get in trouble if I’m not a real professor?) ---
**Author:** ![kayT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayt/32/3633_2.png) [@kayT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayT)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2012, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-use-my-powers-for-good-or-evil/621937/5 "2012-05-15T00:07:23Z")
Evil is my vote as well, and a super villain can be a professor if he chooses to be one. Mwa ha ha indeed. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Man\_With\_The\_Golden\_Gun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dc4da7/32.png) [@The\_Man\_With\_The\_Golden\_Gun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Man_With_The_Golden_Gun)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2012, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-use-my-powers-for-good-or-evil/621937/6 "2012-05-15T00:57:31Z")
I’m a mad scientist, and I could use an assistant as well, since Igor got hired elsewhere. I’ve got a hunch that you’d be perfect. ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2012, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-use-my-powers-for-good-or-evil/621937/7 "2012-05-15T01:01:33Z")
I am also a bona fide mad scientist. I welcome you to the fold. Don’t forget to buy your round. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2012, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-use-my-powers-for-good-or-evil/621937/8 "2012-05-15T01:02:56Z")
Evil will pay better and have a better benefits package but generally less vacation time. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2012, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-use-my-powers-for-good-or-evil/621937/9 "2012-05-15T01:18:34Z")
It’s not enough to decide whether or not to be evil or good! You must also decide whether to be chaotic, neutral, or lawful evil or good. [What’s your alignment?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=641663) ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2012, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-use-my-powers-for-good-or-evil/621937/10 "2012-05-15T02:12:03Z")
A supervillain who can solve a Rubik’s cube really fast—I am quaking in my boots! ---
**Author:** ![Gagundathar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a183cd/32.png) [@Gagundathar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gagundathar)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2012, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-use-my-powers-for-good-or-evil/621937/11 "2012-05-15T02:29:39Z")
OK, so we have established that _Professor Coolio Von Mega-schlong_ is probably not the optimal supervillain name for a person of your incredible powers. Chessman is probably already copyrighted (checking, checking, checking), yes, as I suspected, not only is there an unfortunate association with a famous rapist, but the name is also the stage name of a Mexican Professional Wrestler. Chessboy doesn’t really strike terror in the hearts of men. Professor Evil Genius is probably too contrived. Doctor Professor Evil is actually kind of meta but I doubt whether you are a professor or a doctor, so that might get you in trouble with the Association of Evil Supervillains and Henchmen Local #126. Evilman is not specific enough. It just doesn’t get the whole ‘gigantic brain’ aspect over to the viewing public. Giganto-Braino would probably work in Modolvia since they don’t read comics that much there, but I think you want the big stage of North America so that name probably would elict snickers more than fear. Likewise, Throbbing Cranial Vein Dude and MegaCraniumMan. Might I suggest _ **The Rubikikon** _ (in Color)? ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2012, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-use-my-powers-for-good-or-evil/621937/12 "2012-05-15T03:56:35Z")
Evil. More Pussy in it. ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2012, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-use-my-powers-for-good-or-evil/621937/13 "2012-05-15T15:23:06Z")
Incidentally,[Rex Velvet](http://www.digitaltrends.com/web/supervillain-emerges-to-challenge-seattle-superhero-phoenix-jones/) is taken as a moniker. > [@Gatopescado](#): > > Evil. More Pussy in it. Indeed, [Galore.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pussy_Galore) ---
**Author:** ![Makeitstop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/bb73d2/32.png) [@Makeitstop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Makeitstop)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2012, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-use-my-powers-for-good-or-evil/621937/14 "2012-05-15T15:27:46Z")
> [@Mikeisskeptical](#): > > Of course! It’s all so clear to me now. Civilisation will rue the day it (in no significant way) crossed… > Professor Coolio Von Mega-schlong!!! Mwa ha ha ha! > (super villain name is a working title, also will I get in trouble if I’m not a real professor?) Well, Dr. Phil isn’t a real doctor, so… ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2012, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-use-my-powers-for-good-or-evil/621937/15 "2012-05-15T15:57:36Z")
> [@Makeitstop](#): > > Well, Dr. Phil isn’t a real doctor, so… Neither is Dr. Worm. But he is a real worm. ---
**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2012, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-use-my-powers-for-good-or-evil/621937/16 "2012-05-15T17:26:17Z")
I miss **Skald**. I vote Evil. StG ---
**Author:** ![swampspruce](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampspruce/32/261_2.png) [@swampspruce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampspruce)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2012, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-use-my-powers-for-good-or-evil/621937/17 "2012-05-15T17:52:26Z")
Too many doo-gooders in the world now; I say evil. However, you may just want to commit the [following](http://www.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.html) to memory to avoid some aforestated doo-gooder foiling your plans… ---
**Author:** ![Wargamer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/df705f/32.png) [@Wargamer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wargamer)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2012, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-use-my-powers-for-good-or-evil/621937/18 "2012-05-15T18:17:06Z")
Remember to work on your evil laugh. That gets ignored way too often by Aspiring Evil Overlords. (No, more from the diaphragm.) ---
**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2012, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-use-my-powers-for-good-or-evil/621937/19 "2012-05-15T18:18:45Z")
> [@StGermain](#): > > I miss **Skald**. I vote Evil. Me too. It hasn’t been the same around here without the hoards of killer bees being sicced on people all the time. Be the best evil you can be, **Mikeisskeptical**. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2012, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-use-my-powers-for-good-or-evil/621937/20 "2012-05-15T18:20:14Z")
False dichotomy.😃 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-use-my-powers-for-good-or-evil/621937.md?page=2)