# Should I use my powers for good or evil? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 14, 2012, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-use-my-powers-for-good-or-evil/621937 "2012-05-14T23:25:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Philliam](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/philliam/32/3011_2.png) [@Philliam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philliam)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2012, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-use-my-powers-for-good-or-evil/621937/21 "2012-05-15T18:44:34Z")
Remember, you’re going to need a large group of sycophantic henchmen, myrmidons, lab technicians, stooges and dogsbodies to do the actual dirty work while you’re swannin’ round with the Evil Laughter bit. Let me know where to send my resume - I’m at liberty at the moment and have been told that I do a pretty good Peter Lorre impression. ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2012, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-use-my-powers-for-good-or-evil/621937/22 "2012-05-15T18:52:38Z")
> [@Capt\_Kirk](#): > > Evil and Evil only, we need more super villains. Some has to take over for Kim(terrible misspelling) of North Korea his son isn’t scary enough. You will need a dim witted assistant Kim Jong Un could stay on as the dim witted assistant. ---
**Author:** ![Capt\_Kirk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@Capt\_Kirk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capt_Kirk)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2012, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-use-my-powers-for-good-or-evil/621937/23 "2012-05-15T19:03:10Z")
> [@Anne\_Neville](#): > > Kim Jong Un could stay on as the dim witted assistant. I love SDMB teamwork, Thank you:eek: ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_MB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steve_mb/32/5339_2.png) [@Steve\_MB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_MB)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2012, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-use-my-powers-for-good-or-evil/621937/24 "2012-05-15T19:09:28Z")
> [@Wargamer](#): > > Remember to work on your evil laugh. That gets ignored way too often by Aspiring Evil Overlords. > > (No, more from the diaphragm.) You also need a villainous calling card, a robust tan, and spinning tops of doom. ---
**Author:** ![Lust4Life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecc23a/32.png) [@Lust4Life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lust4Life)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2012, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-use-my-powers-for-good-or-evil/621937/25 "2012-05-15T19:26:14Z")
People just want to slip into stereotypes don’t they ? You have a gift, use it in a NEW way. Commit an act of incredible kindness one day, and one of total evil the next. Repeat cycle randomnly. That way when people see you turn up, they won’t know whether to laugh or cry, (And they’ll thank you later for not letting them get bored.) Also to prolong the suspense, when you do show up, keep your features immobile for a while and say nothing, and the WHAM! ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2012, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-use-my-powers-for-good-or-evil/621937/26 "2012-05-15T19:33:51Z")
> [@Mikeisskeptical](#): > > Of course! It’s all so clear to me now. Civilisation will rue the day it (in no significant way) crossed… > Professor Coolio Von Mega-schlong!!! Mwa ha ha ha! > (super villain name is a working title, also will I get in trouble if I’m not a real professor?) I think the right path is to be a superhero with this name, and apply to present your world-shattering findings at a major scientific conference–maybe you’ve found free clean universal energy, or you’ve cured stupidity, or you can make cats act nice, or something similarly important. But with that name they’ll never let you present. The fools! THE FOOLS! You’ll go through a period of tearing out your hair and rending your lab coat and destroying your laboratory, but at some point during this rampage, you’ll start to laugh, and the laugh will grow louder and more maniacal, and you’ll realize that if they won’t let you save them, you’ll destroy them all. DESTROY THEM ALL! And your quest is begun. ---
**Author:** ![coffeecat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/coffeecat/32/3405_2.png) [@coffeecat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/coffeecat)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2012, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-use-my-powers-for-good-or-evil/621937/27 "2012-05-16T00:10:02Z")
> [@Mikeisskeptical](#): > > Professor Coolio Von Mega-schlong!!! Anne! . . . ANNE NEVILLE! We found a name for your baby! ---
**Author:** ![Capt\_Kirk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@Capt\_Kirk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capt_Kirk)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2012, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-use-my-powers-for-good-or-evil/621937/28 "2012-05-16T00:44:36Z")
> [@coffeecat](#): > > Anne! . . . ANNE NEVILLE! We found a name for your baby! Wait isn’t she having a GIRL?😛 ---
**Author:** ![Mikeisskeptical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@Mikeisskeptical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mikeisskeptical)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2012, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-use-my-powers-for-good-or-evil/621937/29 "2012-05-16T04:49:47Z")
Thanks for the advice everyone. The support and encouragement from the evil genius community in particular has been really invaluable. Of course if I ever meet any of you, I’ll immediately have you liquidated. No room for competion in this game eh? 🙂 You understand. Off to the bank now to see about a loan for an unstoppable super-weapon and an underground fortress (didn’t realise quite how expensive this was going to be, but it all adds up.) Wish me luck! ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2012, 10:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-use-my-powers-for-good-or-evil/621937/30 "2012-05-16T10:20:39Z")
> [@Mikeisskeptical](#): > > Thanks for the advice everyone. The support and encouragement from the evil genius community in particular has been really invaluable. Of course if I ever meet any of you, I’ll immediately have you liquidated. No room for competion in this game eh? 🙂 You understand. Off to the bank now to see about a loan for an unstoppable super-weapon and an underground fortress (didn’t realise quite how expensive this was going to be, but it all adds up.) Wish me luck! Um. You should know that a lot of the rival evil genius stuff is for the consumption of the unwashed masses and their doltish protectors. Except for the time _Red Death_ and _The Xtinguisher_ got into a pushing fight over _Miss Begotten_ at the Christmas party, we generally hang out peacefully. We’re having a thing, like, Friday, at the bar where we hang, _The Underground_. Drop by, have a beer, meet the gang. It’s kind of a memorial party for _Doctor Crater_. ---
**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2012, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-use-my-powers-for-good-or-evil/621937/31 "2012-05-16T13:52:26Z")
> [@Mikeisskeptical](#): > > Off to the bank now to see about a loan for an unstoppable super-weapon and an underground fortress (didn’t realise quite how expensive this was going to be, but it all adds up.) Wish me luck! I think you’re just supposed to ask each Doper to contribute $30. StG ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2012, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-use-my-powers-for-good-or-evil/621937/32 "2012-05-16T13:53:42Z")
> [@Capt\_Kirk](#): > > Wait isn’t she having a GIRL?😛 Yeah, I am. I don’t think that name works for a girl, somehow… I will be looking for an evil genius to apprentice her to in a few years, if all goes well. ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2012, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-use-my-powers-for-good-or-evil/621937/33 "2012-05-16T14:58:22Z")
> [@StGermain](#): > > I think you’re just supposed to ask each Doper to contribute $30. > > StG First we have to bicker about how much he NEEDS it, or whether he just WANTS it. Are there pets involved? ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2012, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-use-my-powers-for-good-or-evil/621937/34 "2012-05-16T16:35:39Z")
I’m not really evil genius caliber, but I might be looking for a job as [BOFH](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bastard_Operator_From_Hell) to an evil genius, in a year or so. I’d need to know about your daycare/apprenticeship program, and whether the tank for the sharks with laser beams on their heads and other lair paraphernalia is properly babyproofed. Cats in your lair is a huge plus for me. ---
**Author:** ![Mikeisskeptical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@Mikeisskeptical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mikeisskeptical)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2012, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-use-my-powers-for-good-or-evil/621937/35 "2012-05-16T20:44:09Z")
> [@StGermain](#): > > I think you’re just supposed to ask each Doper to contribute $30. > > StG Nah, evil mutant rabbits are pretty resilient. ---
**Author:** ![Grestarian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grestarian/32/3227_2.png) [@Grestarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grestarian)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2012, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-use-my-powers-for-good-or-evil/621937/36 "2012-05-17T02:30:35Z")
> [@Anne\_Neville](#): > > Yeah, I am. I don’t think that name works for a girl, somehow… Well…“von” is the Teutonic for “From…” so we’d just assume that’s a compliment :dubious: or excessive flattery :rolleyes: to the sire. > [@Philliam](#): > > ``` > Remember, you're going to need a large group of sycophantic henchmen, myrmidons, lab technicians, stooges and dogsbodies to do the actual dirty work while you're swannin' round with the Evil Laughter bit. Let me know where to send my resume - I'm at liberty at the moment and have been told that I do a pretty good Peter Lorre impression. > > ``` Hey I’m, uh…currently between gigs, lately…:o I had something lined up for \*replacement Sith \*after Darth Maul’s untimely demise and I’ve got a great resume and experience. The problem was that I lost out during the reference check when one of the people I listed said, “Oh, yeah, I remember him. Nice chap!”:smack: They just didn’t believe it was merely a turn-of-a-phrase ☹ and they said it looked like an accident when she crashed a couple weeks later. Of course! It was MADE to look like an accident! That’s how skillful I am! Well…anyway…if you’re needing lothario services, you can find me passing through here once in a while. —G! I wonder what would have happened If you were the killer And I was the hero Would things be the same . --Jon Bon Jovi (solo) . _Blood Money_ . Soundtrack to Young Guns II ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2012, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-use-my-powers-for-good-or-evil/621937/37 "2012-05-17T20:56:16Z")
I too vote for thinking outside the box. Grant people’s wishes, but do so in a way that actually ends up hurting them immensely (like those terrible wishmaster movies with the evil genie). Somebody wishes for money? kill off someone who is related to them with an inheritance or life insurance money. Somebody wishes for power? Make someone they love sick/injured so they can become power of attorney for them. Somebody wishes for sex with a beautiful woman? Woman gives him crabs. You get the idea. ---
**Author:** ![Mikeisskeptical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@Mikeisskeptical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mikeisskeptical)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2012, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-use-my-powers-for-good-or-evil/621937/38 "2012-05-18T18:21:13Z")
> [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](#): > > We’re having a thing, like, Friday, at the bar where we hang, _The Underground_. Drop by, have a beer, meet the gang. It’s kind of a memorial party for _Doctor Crater_. I might stop by, but I really shouldn’t have alcohol. It always brings out the best in me. I got drunk a few weeks ago and I was a mess. Complementing peoples appearance, tollerating their opinions, I came across as quite likeable. I didn’t beat anyone up all night and I’m ashamed to say, towards the end of the evening some of my behaviour was borderline heroic. The first step is admitting you’ve got a problem. Never again. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-i-use-my-powers-for-good-or-evil/621937.md?page=1)