# Should kids get paid for good grades? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 4, 2025, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-kids-get-paid-for-good-grades/1015124 "2025-03-04T20:19:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![We\_re\_wolves\_not\_werewolves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@We\_re\_wolves\_not\_werewolves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/We_re_wolves_not_werewolves)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2025, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-kids-get-paid-for-good-grades/1015124/101 "2025-03-07T12:47:23Z")
> [@Thudlow\_Boink](#): > > Should kids be paid for doing other things they don’t want to do but that are for their own good, like, say, going to the doctor or dentist? No, these are baseline things that, like going to school, are just part of being a kid and need to be done. But if they exceed expectations in doing such things (“You were so brave at the doctor, Jimmy, you didn’t even cry when you got the shot”), then I think a small reward (e.g. ice cream) is fine. I don’t know, I’m not making rules for people, they can do what they want, but these types of things seem to work for my family. ---
**Author:** ![Jasmine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jasmine/32/2964_2.png) [@Jasmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jasmine)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2025, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-kids-get-paid-for-good-grades/1015124/102 "2025-03-07T12:53:33Z")
Well put. Like most things, a healthy balance is best. I had an instant gratification rewards system as well as my long term educational philosophy with my kids. One thing that worked well for me was rewarding a child for finding a mistake I might make. It became a game, a game that rewarded alertness and thinking. If I didn’t mess up naturally, I would make a couple of minor errors just to keep them interested. ---
**Author:** ![raspberry\_hunter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b19c9b/32.png) [@raspberry\_hunter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raspberry_hunter)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2025, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-kids-get-paid-for-good-grades/1015124/103 "2025-03-07T17:24:42Z")
Heh, this reminds me of my strategy to straight-out use chocolate at the doctor’s office as not just a bribe but also classical conditioning and distraction at the same time for my kid who got super anxious about shots. Piece of chocolate popped in her mouth at the same time the shot went in. Once I started doing this, shots went WAY more smoothly! (“Wait, that’s it? That was the shot?” “Yep.”) ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2025, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-kids-get-paid-for-good-grades/1015124/104 "2025-03-07T18:43:02Z")
> [@raspberry\_hunter](#): > > “Wait, that’s it? That was the shot?” One year Kid Cheesesteak was so anxious about a shot that he hid under the doctor’s table and threw a fit, the nurse and the Mrs. both gave up. I went back with him two weeks later and after the shot he also said “Wait, That’s it?” He is fortunate to be here today. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_S](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/46a35a/32.png) [@Max\_S](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_S)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2025, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-kids-get-paid-for-good-grades/1015124/105 "2025-03-07T20:45:28Z")
I don’t see a contradiction. Whenever there is a bribe, the thing offered is necessarily a reward. (But maybe not with that definition of reward, which may not cover rewards for bad behavior.) ~Max ---
**Author:** ![fedman1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e495f1/32.png) [@fedman1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fedman1)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2025, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-kids-get-paid-for-good-grades/1015124/106 "2025-03-08T02:32:20Z")
but isn’t that the same as parents goading kids that getting good grades gets you into good college which gets you a good paying job–isn’t that bribery? ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2025, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-kids-get-paid-for-good-grades/1015124/107 "2025-03-09T16:19:20Z")
ISTM “bribe” pretty well demands that some part of the transaction be illicit. Maybe not illegal, but at least immoral or fattening. Bribe is _not_ a value-neutral word for “payment” ---
**Author:** ![DSeid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dseid/32/20194_2.png) [@DSeid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSeid)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2025, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-kids-get-paid-for-good-grades/1015124/108 "2025-03-09T16:56:08Z")
Whatever it is called - many of us know many who have become accomplished academically and/or persistently intellectually curious. Grew up with some. Some of us might even be among them! How many of that group do you know were so … incentivized? I’ve just not ever seen cash for grades _work_ to develop the patterns of behavior that parents are ultimately wanting to help their children form. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2025, 12:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-kids-get-paid-for-good-grades/1015124/109 "2025-03-10T12:08:44Z")
> [@DSeid](#): > > I’ve just not ever seen cash for grades _work_ to develop the patterns of behavior that parents are ultimately wanting to help their children form. I mean, I mentioned my nephew. It seems to have worked for him, with my father-in-law incentivizing him with a couple hundred dollars (IIRC) through high school for grades. I thought it was odd when I heard about it, but seeing the result, it didn’t hurt. He’s about to graduate Penn State with a business degree, has had two selective internships and a promise of a job when he graduates later this year. Would he have done as well without the incentives? I don’t have a way to run a controlled experiment, but in his case, knowing his personality, yeah, it helped. It’s only one anecdote, but I hardly think the only one. Some people have intrinsic motivation and need help, others do not. I don’t assume everyone is as naturally curious as I am (and, from my observation, the vast majority are not.) Rewards were never an explicit part of my intellectual upbringing – I’m one of those assholes who didn’t need to study or even have a textbook in the case of my sophomore chemistry class to get an A – but various unspoken rewards (like I get a computer, I get a piano, I get an expensive keyboard) were definitely linked to me having good grades. If I were a C student, I doubt I would have gotten all those ---
**Author:** ![dolphinboy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dolphinboy/32/330_2.png) [@dolphinboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dolphinboy)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2025, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-kids-get-paid-for-good-grades/1015124/110 "2025-03-10T12:29:46Z")
Perhaps the best answer to this question is “it depends”. For some kids, monetary incentives won’t incentivize them, and can even make matters worse by putting pressure on them that leads to lower grades than they would have without them. For other kids incentives motivate them to work harder to get better grades. My daughter feels my grandson needs a monetary incentive and it seems to be work for him, at least as far as middle school goes. Whether it will continue to work in high school is anyone’s guess, assuming those incentives increase accordingly. When I was growing up many moons ago, getting good grades in high school, along with having a good SAT or ACT score, determined what college you could go to, if any, and going to college was the best way to guarantee your financial future. I don’t know how important college really is these days, and many kids don’t have the desire to go to college, which is fine since we need people to do the many jobs that don’t require a college education. ---
**Author:** ![DemonTree](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/demontree/32/8646_2.png) [@DemonTree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DemonTree)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2025, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-kids-get-paid-for-good-grades/1015124/111 "2025-03-10T14:12:35Z")
> [@DSeid](#): > > Whatever it is called - many of us know many who have become accomplished academically and/or persistently intellectually curious. Grew up with some. Some of us might even be among them! > > How many of that group do you know were so … incentivized? > > I’ve just not ever seen cash for grades _work_ to develop the patterns of behavior that parents are ultimately wanting to help their children form. It’s hard not to feel cynical about this right now. As parents we want to encourage intellectual curiosity and things like creativity, but does society reward that? Or are employers and society in general just looking for a hard-working, well-behaved cog in the machine? Someone who will do their job effectively and not stand up or stand out? You said yourself you prefer training someone middling but diligent over someone who’s brilliant but less diligent. Even in science I hear the same thing: that what is rewarded is being good at networking and getting grant money, not a deep interest in the subject and dedication to making new discoveries. It’s all a bit discouraging. We don’t want to stiffle curiosity and passion, but nor do we want to set people up for failure in a system not designed to reward those things. ---
**Author:** ![DSeid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dseid/32/20194_2.png) [@DSeid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSeid)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2025, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-kids-get-paid-for-good-grades/1015124/112 "2025-03-10T14:58:39Z")
I do not see them as at odds. Intellectual curiosity is to me a value that I wanted to pass on to my children _for its own sake_, whether it leads to higher income later or not. Discipline and good habits in service of achievement of longer term goals is something I also wanted to have them learn. Be the best you you can be. I believe those two together help set up a satisfying life. I did not endeavor to pass on a value of make as much as you can and let money be your guide. ---
**Author:** ![CookingWithGas](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cookingwithgas/32/485_2.png) [@CookingWithGas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CookingWithGas)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2025, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-kids-get-paid-for-good-grades/1015124/113 "2025-03-10T19:09:41Z")
I don’t know what the professionals say, but I don’t agree with having a kid associate schoolwork with pay-for-performance. This turns it into a job, and loses sight of the real goal. Good grades should be celebrated, but if you are paying them for it, it seems to me that would disconnect the achievement with the true value of it, which is learning stuff, and cause them to focus on the monetary reward. Good teachers (and good parents) help children to find joy in learning, and in the ideal situation getting good grades is its own reward. Of course, you might disagree on the grounds that paying for grades is essentially the same as getting paid for doing well on a job. But children in school are different than adults in a workplace. (I have two children who are grown now. We never paid for grades.) ---
**Author:** ![scudsucker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scudsucker/32/14101_2.png) [@scudsucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scudsucker)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2025, 11:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-kids-get-paid-for-good-grades/1015124/114 "2025-03-11T11:45:12Z")
> [@Fretful\_Porpentine](#): > > God, no. Honestly, I’m not sure _grades_ are a good idea Not read the whole thread, “god, no” My own kids are pretty good at school. Not exceptional, but doing fine. They are also (a sign of the times?) incredibly mercenary. Dealing in (illegal, according to school rules) Pokemon cards. I mean, sure, during various crazes at my junior school (marbles, yoyos etc) I too ventured capital. Paying them for good grades? No way I can support an already capitalist ideology ---
**Author:** ![DSeid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dseid/32/20194_2.png) [@DSeid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSeid)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2025, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-kids-get-paid-for-good-grades/1015124/115 "2025-03-11T13:12:55Z")
Well I find it of note that the anecdote of it working well was the kid > [@pulykamell](#): > > about to graduate Penn State with a business degree, has had two selective internships and a promise of a job when he graduates later this year 😀 ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2025, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-kids-get-paid-for-good-grades/1015124/116 "2025-03-11T14:52:50Z")
I haven’t had my coffee yet, so I’m probably missing something. The point was the kid was an average student in the beginning of high school until grandpa took him under his wing and incentivized good performance in certain subjects. Some parents do this equally with punishment (grounding, no iPad, etc.) He ended up doing better in his classes in high school and ended up learning good habits and got enough of a nudge with the incentives to do well in college for himself. The fact that you want to instill curiosity in your kids is all well and good. I do too. I’ve been naturally curious person and it’s one of the most important things I look for in my friends. But some people need a nudge. I don’t believe everyone is predisposed to curiosity or is innately interested in the world beyond them. I don’t think I could teach my kids to be curious. I could role model for them, but if they’re just not curious, they’re not curious. Different stroke. But incentive can sometimes have the practical effect of teaching them skills to be competent at a subject. It’s unlikely I will need to do this with my kids, but I see no issue with it. Not everyone is like me and motivated by the things I am and I can’t make somebody else like me and motivated by similar things to me. ---
**Author:** ![DSeid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dseid/32/20194_2.png) [@DSeid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSeid)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2025, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-kids-get-paid-for-good-grades/1015124/117 "2025-03-11T15:17:30Z")
It was a reference to the > [@scudsucker](#): > > No way I can support an already capitalist ideology bit immediately above. I do in fact wonder if there might be a correlation though. My take on what to incentivize need not be repeated. ---
**Author:** ![scudsucker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scudsucker/32/14101_2.png) [@scudsucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scudsucker)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2025, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-kids-get-paid-for-good-grades/1015124/118 "2025-03-11T17:26:04Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > The fact that you want to instill curiosity in your kids is all well and good. I do too I wondered if I might have crossed a limit when I taught my (then) four year about coprolites. . But he’s doing fine and knows what a coprolite is, age 7. Fossil dinosaur poo, for those who are not curious 7 year old boys. We are wandering off topic , so to the OP : No, knowledge has its own rewards. And fun with dad. Good grades are a consequence of good parenting. And good parenting is learning with your kid what they need to learn. ---
**Author:** ![scudsucker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scudsucker/32/14101_2.png) [@scudsucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scudsucker)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2025, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-kids-get-paid-for-good-grades/1015124/119 "2025-03-11T18:00:02Z")
The “learning **with** your kid” part needs to be reiterated. We parents may think we are all-knowing, but having worked in junior schools (with ages 5 to 12) and chatted with teachers - I was just an aide - the consensus was that children teach you. Adults prepare the syllabus, children execute it. And they often have novel opinions, and often they are logically sound. I was, for example, teaching my daughter chess. She’s 9 now. At first it was just the moves. But from the early days, we both played to win. I started pretty casuallt until she beat me three times in a row. Now, I’m no grandmaster, but now when we play I try, hard, to beat her. She still wins 1 ir two games out of every five. And that is amazing. She is really happy, I am really happy. ---
**Author:** ![DSeid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dseid/32/20194_2.png) [@DSeid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSeid)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2025, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-kids-get-paid-for-good-grades/1015124/120 "2025-03-11T19:02:14Z")
> [@scudsucker](#): > > the consensus was that children teach you. Old saying, Talmudic I think: “I have learned much from my teachers, more from my colleagues and most from students.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-kids-get-paid-for-good-grades/1015124.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-kids-get-paid-for-good-grades/1015124.md?page=7)