# Should Mom-and-Pops That Forgo Gay Weddings Be Destroyed? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 3, 2015, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-mom-and-pops-that-forgo-gay-weddings-be-destroyed/716716 "2015-04-03T16:37:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2015, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-mom-and-pops-that-forgo-gay-weddings-be-destroyed/716716/61 "2015-04-04T02:13:13Z")
I love how the side that claims to be for “family values” also claims that marriage is a luxury that people can do without. ---
**Author:** ![Urbanredneck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ea5d25/32.png) [@Urbanredneck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urbanredneck)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2015, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-mom-and-pops-that-forgo-gay-weddings-be-destroyed/716716/62 "2015-04-04T03:01:45Z")
I never have understood why the gay couple cannot just go to a different place? Look, its a damn wedding cake and the other case was a photographer. Its nothing life saving. This is just your typical “In your face” gay bullshit of gays trying to stomp out anyone who questions them and shove their shit down everyones throats. I’d bet the people involved are now riding on a float on a gay pride parade somewhere and are the toast of the queer community. They are the pink Rosa Parks you know! And all the crap gays have spewed about wanting to be left alone and just be free. Its all a freaking LIE! I dont know whats in their heads but it is not being a respected part of society. Sorry for the rant. ---
**Author:** ![Weeping\_Wyvern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/858c86/32.png) [@Weeping\_Wyvern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weeping_Wyvern)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2015, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-mom-and-pops-that-forgo-gay-weddings-be-destroyed/716716/63 "2015-04-04T03:04:32Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > You’re forgetting something that’s very very important. > > We aren’t robots who operate just fine as long as we have our basic physical needs met. We are also social, emotional animals. We all function better when we feel like we belong and that we’ve been dealt a fair hand in life. > > When some members of society are favored over others for no freakin’ good reason, it makes people experience a whole lotta negative emotions. These negative emotions make them operate in a suboptimal fashion. They are more likely to suffer mental and physical illness and engage in self-destructive behavior. They are more likely to detached from society altogether and become anti-social. They are more likely to raise children who behave in a suboptimal fashion. Which only makes it more likely that they will continue to become discriminated against. I assuredly agree that people are better off when they are respected. But respect has to be earned. Niceness cannot be legally mandated. > [@monstro](#): > > Then the teachers start going, “Hmm, well if those guys can get a religious exemption, why can’t we? Don’t we have rights?” and suddenly the gay kids are being kicked out of class. Depends on the type of school! A public school should accept all students. A private school should be free to only teach left-handed large-breasted Iranian atheists with quicksand fetishes and bipolar disorder, if it wanted to. > [@monstro](#): > > If my tax dollars are supporting the infrastructure you’re taking advantage of to make a profit, then I should be able to walk into your business and reap some of those benefits too. Tax dollars also support the infrastructure private homes take advantage of. But that doesn’t give me the right to hang out in your kitchen if you don’t want me there. ---
**Author:** ![Urbanredneck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ea5d25/32.png) [@Urbanredneck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urbanredneck)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2015, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-mom-and-pops-that-forgo-gay-weddings-be-destroyed/716716/64 "2015-04-04T03:04:50Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > Who knows? Maybe the bakers are the best around. Maybe they are the only ones in town. Maybe the gay couple just makes bad decisions. I don’t think it really matters why. Or, they want to be famous in the gay community and what better way to get to be the pride of the Pride parade than being the person who shuts down a business. I mean are gays just running around begging and pleading for some business to slight them so they can go after them? What’s wrong with just taking your money somewhere else? ---
**Author:** ![GrumpyBunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bc8723/32.png) [@GrumpyBunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrumpyBunny)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2015, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-mom-and-pops-that-forgo-gay-weddings-be-destroyed/716716/65 "2015-04-04T03:07:39Z")
Let’s play “replace the adjective!” in urbanredneck’s post! > [@](#): > > ``` > I never have understood why the ***interracial*** couple cannot just go to a different place? > > ``` > > Look, its a damn wedding cake and the other case was a photographer. Its nothing life saving. This is just your typical “In your face” \*\*\*interracial \*\*\*bullshit of \*\*\*interracial couples \*\*\*trying to stomp out anyone who questions them and shove their shit down everyones throats. I’d bet the people involved are now riding on a float on a \*\*\*interracial \*\*\* pride parade somewhere and are the toast of the \*\*\*interracial \*\*\* community. They are the **beige** Rosa Parks you know! > > And all the crap \*\*\*interracial couples \*\*\*have spewed about wanting to be left alone and just be free. Its all a freaking LIE! I dont know whats in their heads but it is not being a respected part of society. Nope. No bigotry there. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2015, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-mom-and-pops-that-forgo-gay-weddings-be-destroyed/716716/66 "2015-04-04T03:08:06Z")
So often, the pro-discrimination side says “Gosh, I would want to KNOW if someone didn’t want my business! Why would I want to do business with someone who hated me?” I think every one of us could tolerate someone discriminating against us if we knew it was only going to to be once in our lives. But we know from history, we know from experience, and we know from just using our calculators or fingers PLUS toes that it’s not ever going to be just encountering one bigot somewhere once. Sure, we can suck it up once. We can’t suck it up our whole lives. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2015, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-mom-and-pops-that-forgo-gay-weddings-be-destroyed/716716/67 "2015-04-04T03:10:34Z")
> [@Urbanredneck](#): > > I dont know whats in their heads but it is not being a respected part of society. Funny, I respect gay people. ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2015, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-mom-and-pops-that-forgo-gay-weddings-be-destroyed/716716/68 "2015-04-04T03:13:37Z")
> [@Urbanredneck](#): > > I never have understood why the gay couple cannot just go to a different place? . . . And those negroes can go to another lunch counter. It’s not like every place in town is going to be closed to them. (Except…sometimes.) ---
**Author:** ![boytyperanma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4491bb/32.png) [@boytyperanma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/boytyperanma)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2015, 8:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-mom-and-pops-that-forgo-gay-weddings-be-destroyed/716716/69 "2015-04-04T08:18:39Z")
> [@Urbanredneck](#): > > Or, they want to be famous in the gay community and what better way to get to be the pride of the Pride parade than being the person who shuts down a business. > > I mean are gays just running around begging and pleading for some business to slight them so they can go after them? What’s wrong with just taking your money somewhere else? It appears this man has somehow gotten his hands on a copy of the infamous gay agenda. He understands gays are just looking to get scalps they can show off at pride parades. I never run around looking for businesses to slight me. I just don’t want the possibility I’ll have to make multiple stops when I travel to get a fucking pizza because the first place I stopped in told me I can’t get one there because I’m a fag. Are they going to reimburse me for the wasted time? I only have so much time on this planet and want to spend as little of it as possible going place to place in hopes that they won’t turn me away. ---
**Author:** ![Urbanredneck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ea5d25/32.png) [@Urbanredneck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urbanredneck)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2015, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-mom-and-pops-that-forgo-gay-weddings-be-destroyed/716716/70 "2015-04-04T14:19:25Z")
> [@boytyperanma](#): > > It appears this man has somehow gotten his hands on a copy of the infamous gay agenda. He understands gays are just looking to get scalps they can show off at pride parades. > > I never run around looking for businesses to slight me. I just don’t want the possibility I’ll have to make multiple stops when I travel to get a fucking pizza because the first place I stopped in told me I can’t get one there because I’m a fag. Are they going to reimburse me for the wasted time? I only have so much time on this planet and want to spend as little of it as possible going place to place in hopes that they won’t turn me away. Really? You have walked into a pizza place and they had a sign which said “No Gays Allowed”? Its a stupid cake. I mean if you were willing to pay the kind of money a good wedding cake costs, wouldn’t you want one to be exactly what you want it to be from a baker who will totally understand your needs? Heck if it was me I’d want a person who could do the most beautiful cake which shows the personality and feelings of me and my partner. Why would you want to mess with some breeder who might not have a clue or even be able to find a 2 grooms to put on the top? Maybe you aren’t looking for “scalps” but many others are. ---
**Author:** ![Urbanredneck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ea5d25/32.png) [@Urbanredneck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urbanredneck)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2015, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-mom-and-pops-that-forgo-gay-weddings-be-destroyed/716716/71 "2015-04-04T14:20:42Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > Funny, I respect gay people. When they go out of their way to destroy a small business just because they disagree with them? ---
**Author:** ![GrumpyBunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bc8723/32.png) [@GrumpyBunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrumpyBunny)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2015, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-mom-and-pops-that-forgo-gay-weddings-be-destroyed/716716/72 "2015-04-04T14:21:01Z")
The black bakery/KKK party cake issue? [Already happened, and the courts sided with the KKK.](http://tribuneherald.net/2013/08/23/kkk-wins-lawsuit-against-bakery-for-discrimination/) ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2015, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-mom-and-pops-that-forgo-gay-weddings-be-destroyed/716716/73 "2015-04-04T14:25:06Z")
I’m a cashier in a store owned and managed by Hassidic Jews. I have provided my services for many Muslim women and two young guys dressed in swastika jackets. The manager came and stood at my register for the latter two, but nothing was said. We provide the same gift bag with three types of printing on it: To The Bride and Groom, To The Happy Couple, and For the Two of You. Some bigoted idiot complained that we were “promoting homosexuality.” He got quite loud and vocal about it. The Hassidic Jewish manager told him to leave or he would call the police. And no, he did not agree with the guy and he has no problem providing our services for obvious gay couples. When he overheard my sister mention “my wife” in the store, he did not bat an eye. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2015, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-mom-and-pops-that-forgo-gay-weddings-be-destroyed/716716/74 "2015-04-04T15:06:04Z")
> [@Urbanredneck](#): > > I mean are gays just running around begging and pleading for some business to slight them so they can go after them? What’s wrong with just taking your money somewhere else? The owners of Memories Pizza told a TV news crew that they would refuse to cater a same-sex wedding, even though they had apparently never been asked to cater a same-sex wedding. So I think it would be more fair to say that the owners were running around begging same-sex marriage/gay-rights supporters to take offense at their policy. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2015, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-mom-and-pops-that-forgo-gay-weddings-be-destroyed/716716/75 "2015-04-04T15:12:17Z")
> [@Urbanredneck](#): > > Its a stupid cake. I mean if you were willing to pay the kind of money a good wedding cake costs, wouldn’t you want one to be exactly what you want it to be from a baker who will totally understand your needs? Heck if it was me I’d want a person who could do the most beautiful cake which shows the personality and feelings of me and my partner. Why would you want to mess with some breeder who might not have a clue or even be able to find a 2 grooms to put on the top? > > Maybe you aren’t looking for “scalps” but many others are. People are fixated on the cake thing, like we are ONLY talking about “stupid cakes”. Do you really think a religious exemption law would be limited to stupid bakeries and stupid cakes? A realtor could refuse to help a gay couple buy a house because GAYS FORNICATING ABOMINATION!!! Daycare centers could refuse to take children of a gay couple because GAYS PROCREATING ABOMINATION!!! If the stupid cake makers can get a religious exemption, why WOULDN’T all the other townfolk also be eligible for one? If the homos can be legally discriminated against, why not all sinners? The Bible says “Don’t suffer a witch to live.” Can the private ambulance operator claim religious exemption when the call comes in for the Wiccan? Why not? He’s just one person, and the Wiccan can find someone else to take her to the hospital, right? I don’t want to live in a society this. ---
**Author:** ![Ravenman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ravenman/32/2929_2.png) [@Ravenman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ravenman)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2015, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-mom-and-pops-that-forgo-gay-weddings-be-destroyed/716716/76 "2015-04-04T15:23:36Z")
It’s always so fascinating to me that Jesus was compassionate to prostitues and sinners, love the sinner hate the sin and all that; but that Christian businesses like these freak out at a mutually beneficial exchange of goods and services. Sure, “Christian” businesses. ---
**Author:** ![boytyperanma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4491bb/32.png) [@boytyperanma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/boytyperanma)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2015, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-mom-and-pops-that-forgo-gay-weddings-be-destroyed/716716/77 "2015-04-04T16:10:06Z")
> [@Urbanredneck](#): > > Really? You have walked into a pizza place and they had a sign which said “No Gays Allowed”? Not yet. I spend most my time in Massachusetts where it is already illegal for businesses to discriminate against gay people. In other parts of the country it’s still a possibility that I advocate should not be allowed. > [@Urbanredneck](#): > > Its a stupid cake. I mean if you were willing to pay the kind of money a good wedding cake costs, wouldn’t you want one to be exactly what you want it to be from a baker who will totally understand your needs? Heck if it was me I’d want a person who could do the most beautiful cake which shows the personality and feelings of me and my partner. Why would you want to mess with some breeder who might not have a clue or even be able to find a 2 grooms to put on the top? You might want that and \*\*Bricker \*\*explains in the other thread pretty well how such a request could be refused on the grounds of artistic expression. I might just want the same cake my brother had at his wedding and don’t think a baker should be allowed to refuse my request because of who I am. > [@Urbanredneck](#): > > Maybe you aren’t looking for “scalps” but many others are. Cite? ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2015, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-mom-and-pops-that-forgo-gay-weddings-be-destroyed/716716/78 "2015-04-04T16:43:18Z")
> [@Urbanredneck](#): > > When they go out of their way to destroy a small business just because they disagree with them? This is not a harmless difference of opinion, like “I like red, and you prefer blue.” These people are hruting my loved ones. I’ll say that again-- these people are doing things that cause active harm to some of the poeple I care about most in this world. These actions encourage parents to disown their kids. They encourage gay teenagers to feel fear and self-loathing. They encourage gay couples to hide. They encourage hate, fear, self-loathing, lie-living, broken families , beatings, and suicide. Of people that I care about. It’s not harmless. It’s not an opinion. It’s about making sure that gay people know that they are hated and that they get the maximize social penalty possible for who they are. It’s about creating an aptmosphere of casual htred so that kids and people on the fence are encouraged to be comfortable with the “hate the fags” side. It’s about hurting people, causing them pain, running them out of town, and perpetuating hate. Fuck. That. Fuck their business. Fuck their fucked up little opinion. These guys are on the wrong side of history. We’ve slowly, very slowly, been working towards a world where everyone deserves human dignity, and these people are bravely holding on to some of the last bastions of pointless hatred, with tenacity found only in people who understand they are about to lose. And the sooner they lose, the sooner they are pushed deep into the margins of society where stupid prejudice belongs, the sooner everyone else can get on with their lives. ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2015, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-mom-and-pops-that-forgo-gay-weddings-be-destroyed/716716/79 "2015-04-04T17:16:24Z")
> [@GrumpyBunny](#): > > I ran into someone today on Facebook who said that gays shouldn’t be pushing their sex lives onto other people. > > Which is \*totally \*what a wedding does. :smack: > > * * * > > All that aside, I don’t understand how asking a business that sells flowers or cake to people getting married, to sell flowers or cake to a gay couple, is any kind of religious imposition. > > Business owners don’t have to approve of their clients, nor do they have to have coitus with them; they just have to do provide the businesses goods or services to them. > > And people wonder why I’m a cynic. This is actually very, very common. I’ve had experiences in the office where I was accused of ‘flaunting my sexuality’. My crime was mentioning that my boyfriend and I had gone to a movie. The accusation came from someone who had photos of their opposite sex spouse and their kids on their desk…talk about flaunting your sexuality! ---
**Author:** ![Helena330](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/helena330/32/531_2.png) [@Helena330](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helena330)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2015, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-mom-and-pops-that-forgo-gay-weddings-be-destroyed/716716/80 "2015-04-04T17:30:09Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > This is not a harmless difference of opinion, like “I like red, and you prefer blue.” These people are hruting my loved ones. I’ll say that again-- these people are doing things that cause active harm to some of the poeple I care about most in this world. > > \*\*These actions encourage parents to disown their kids. They encourage gay teenagers to feel fear and self-loathing. They encourage gay couples to hide. _They encourage hate, fear, self-loathing, lie-living, broken families , beatings, and suicide._ > > Of people that I care about.\*\* > > It’s not harmless. It’s not an opinion. It’s about making sure that gay people know that they are hated and that they get the maximize social penalty possible for who they are. It’s about creating an aptmosphere of casual htred so that kids and people on the fence are encouraged to be comfortable with the “hate the fags” side. It’s about hurting people, causing them pain, running them out of town, and perpetuating hate. > > Fuck. That. Fuck their business. Fuck their fucked up little opinion. These guys are on the wrong side of history. We’ve slowly, very slowly, been working towards a world where everyone deserves human dignity, and these people are bravely holding on to some of the last bastions of pointless hatred, with tenacity found only in people who understand they are about to lose. And the sooner they lose, the sooner they are pushed deep into the margins of society where stupid prejudice belongs, the sooner everyone else can get on with their lives. Your post brought tears to my eyes. Very well said. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-mom-and-pops-that-forgo-gay-weddings-be-destroyed/716716.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-mom-and-pops-that-forgo-gay-weddings-be-destroyed/716716.md?page=5)