# Should my friend pursue contempt charges against her ex? (long) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 21, 2008, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-my-friend-pursue-contempt-charges-against-her-ex-long/460801 "2008-08-21T14:07:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2008, 9:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-my-friend-pursue-contempt-charges-against-her-ex-long/460801/21 "2008-08-23T09:24:52Z")
> [@Sateryn76](#): > > I’m wondering why the Mom doesn’t get a job and buy the kid the glasses. McDonald’s is always hiring. I know, it’s not the greatest job in the world, but it can pay for things, and is completely disposable if she needs to miss time for job interviews. Glasses are available at WalMart for super-cheap. Oh, she’s definitely at the point of taking _any_ job she can find, though I think she’d lean more towards substitute teaching than McDonald’s, and the kid will get his glasses. I certainly never meant to imply that he won’t. I used the story about the glasses to illustrate what kind of crap this guy pulls-you know, telling the kid “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of it”, waiting three weeks, and _then_ informing them what he meant by “take care of it” :rolleyes: . He’s just acting like a dick. Sharon really and truly does her best not to bad-mouth him in front of the kids, but he’s driving her nuts. > [@](#): > > Is this really something she wants to fret over for the rest of her life? Can she find real happiness in just forgetting about THE MONEY and closing the door on her ex? Is it really worth it - and she should consider her hopeful future at the same time. Will it be worth all of the legal bullshit in three years, when she’s found a good job and is content again? She really has had an incredibly hard time letting go of the anger, and no, I don’t think she’s doing herself any favors in this. I’ve never been in the situation she’s in (I mean the divorce part; I’ve been broke, and it sucks), but yeah, you’re right that she needs to let go of this. **Muffin** , very imaginative. I like the way you think. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2008, 12:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-my-friend-pursue-contempt-charges-against-her-ex-long/460801/22 "2008-08-23T12:36:23Z")
You misplaced a comma in the OP. $15,000 a month is way different than $1,500 a month. I’m assuming she gets the latter or all sympathy goes out the window. In any event, it’s probably too late for her to go after half the car proceeds, etc. If she got her degree recently, there still may be time to go after the cost of her education. Depending on the cost, that might be worth pursuing. I’m not sure why you brought up how much your friend’s mother has in the bank. It’s not the grandmother’s responsibility to raise her grandson. Do I have it right that your friend hasn’t worked for 10 or 20 years: SAHM for 6 years then in school for the years after the divorce? If so, then it’s high time she stops blaming her ex-husband for her troubles and gets on with her life. That means supporting herself. Her ex-husband and her mother are not responsible for herself. She is. Supporting yourself = self esteem. Sounds like your friend needs both. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2008, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-my-friend-pursue-contempt-charges-against-her-ex-long/460801/23 "2008-08-23T15:18:55Z")
[QUOTE=norinew] **Muffin** , very imaginative. I like the way you think. 😃 [/QUOTE] I’m a family lawyer. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2008, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-my-friend-pursue-contempt-charges-against-her-ex-long/460801/24 "2008-08-23T15:31:52Z")
> [@PunditLisa](#): > > I’m not sure why you brought up how much your friend’s mother has in the bank. It’s not the grandmother’s responsibility to raise her grandson. No, I don’t think it’s the grandmother’s responsibility to raise the grandchildren. I guess what bothers me about the mother is that despite the fact she’s very financially comfortable, I think my friend is getting a raw deal with the living arrangement. And sorry about the misplaced comma. It’s one thousand, five hundred dollars a month. 😛 You are absolutely right about the self-esteem, though. She has wasted a lot of time being bitter and angry. I try not to be judgmental about this, because I _do_ love her, and I really don’t know how I would react to the same situation, but she really _does_ need to just move on. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2008, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-my-friend-pursue-contempt-charges-against-her-ex-long/460801/25 "2008-08-23T15:52:31Z")
Second the suggestion to take the long-term sub games. At the school where I work, every single new teacher hired this year worked as either a long-term sub or a teacher’s assistant last year. LT subs and TAs get paid peanuts, but it’s an excellent way to show off your chops. Of course, if she’s going to continue to take a lot of time off of work to sit in court, her chops might not be worth showing off. It’s harsh, but she needs to find another way to pursue this case, I think, a way that doesn’t lead employers to dismiss her. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2008, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-my-friend-pursue-contempt-charges-against-her-ex-long/460801/26 "2008-08-23T16:16:33Z")
Something about this picture doesn’t add up. How did she qualify financially for two mortgages if she’s been effectively living on $ 1,500 a month in CS + pick up jobs? ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2008, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-my-friend-pursue-contempt-charges-against-her-ex-long/460801/27 "2008-08-23T16:33:17Z")
[QUOTE=astro] Something about this picture doesn’t add up. How did she qualify financially for two mortgages if she’s been effectively living on $ 1,500 a month in CS + pick up jobs? [/QUOTE] She had a job as a science teacher at the time. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2008, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-my-friend-pursue-contempt-charges-against-her-ex-long/460801/28 "2008-08-23T16:34:42Z")
[QUOTE=Left Hand of Dorkness] Second the suggestion to take the long-term sub games. At the school where I work, every single new teacher hired this year worked as either a long-term sub or a teacher’s assistant last year. LT subs and TAs get paid peanuts, but it’s an excellent way to show off your chops. Of course, if she’s going to continue to take a lot of time off of work to sit in court, her chops might not be worth showing off. It’s harsh, but she needs to find another way to pursue this case, I think, a way that doesn’t lead employers to dismiss her. Daniel [/QUOTE] I will definitely recommend this to her. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-my-friend-pursue-contempt-charges-against-her-ex-long/460801.md?page=1)