# Should My Husband and I Open a Deli? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 23, 2011, 7:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-my-husband-and-i-open-a-deli/593755 "2011-08-23T07:58:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![gracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8e7dd6/32.png) [@gracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gracer)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2013, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-my-husband-and-i-open-a-deli/593755/81 "2013-03-24T14:39:37Z")
> [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](#): > > I think our service was pretty good, but maybe slower than the ideal. I have always had an excellent memory so could remember names even after just one service. A lot of my customers were very surprised and pleased to be greeted by name on only the second visit. I literally walk around through the rain just for this. The guys at my olives-and-nuts-and-things stall are just amazing. They remember everyone. And for some reason they speak all languages of the rainbow; they speak Portuguese to me. The first thing they say when they see me is: “1/2 a kilo of mixed unsalted nuts, 1/2 kilo garlic olives?” I don’t care if I need to treck through the rain, I’m not buying my nuts and olives anywhere else. I’m so sorry you had to give up on the deli. I’ve seen how hard it is, my mum ran her own business in floristry. I hope you can start getting excited about the next thing in your life soon! 🙂 ETA: It never occurred to me before, I’m going to test them on Romanian next time I’m there. That’ll throw 'em, hehe. I bet they speak it too! ---
**Author:** ![Crafter\_Man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crafter_man/32/458_2.png) [@Crafter\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crafter_Man)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2013, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-my-husband-and-i-open-a-deli/593755/82 "2013-03-24T15:36:47Z")
Just curious… what “lessons learned” did you come away with? What advice would you give others who are thinking about opening a deli or restaurant? ---
**Author:** ![not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_what_you_d_expect/32/3246_2.png) [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_what_you_d_expect)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2013, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-my-husband-and-i-open-a-deli/593755/83 "2013-03-24T15:47:44Z")
Yeah, that sort of thing is important to me too. That’s why I really tried hard to make everyone feel welcome. Even stinky Ann that stole all my napkins for toilet paper. This reminds me about something that took me by surprise. I can’t believe how hurt I was when a regular suddenly stopped coming in. I wasn’t prepared for that. ---
**Author:** ![not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_what_you_d_expect/32/3246_2.png) [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_what_you_d_expect)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2013, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-my-husband-and-i-open-a-deli/593755/84 "2013-03-24T17:09:33Z")
> [@Crafter\_Man](#): > > Just curious… what “lessons learned” did you come away with? What advice would you give others who are thinking about opening a deli or restaurant? I’m thinking about this a lot. Some people suggested that my husband go and work in a deli for awhile first. I think this could be helpful, but probably would not have helped us specifically. My husband still wants to work in this field while I do not. But he almost never did dishes. On further reflection, I’m not so sure just going to work in a deli is all that helpful. Unless you stay there for a long time and end up managing the place maybe. An employee is never responsible for everything like an owner is. And I mean everything all of the time. Food service companies can be helpful, but they will oversell you on your food needs if you don’t know any better, and of course, we didn’t at first. I’m throwing away enough baking soda to supply every doper here for years. They have unreasonable limits in order to buy from them too. So this meant I had to drive to Costco for supplies, which added to my work load. Having your hands in water all day really dries out your skin. I hate that. You can’t paint your nails or wear your wedding rings. I missed that a little bit. Having a customer call and tell you they found a hair in their sandwich is awful. I was stunned that he continued to be a regular. The hours suck. I hate working six days a week. You don’t get to call in sick, Ever! I love to cook, but making potato salad 6 days a week isn’t much fun. It becomes boring and monotonous. Hearing people tell you that your french dip/reuben/potato salad is the best they’ve ever had, never gets old. I’ll keep reading the thread and do my best to offer advice. ---
**Author:** ![Enkel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/df705f/32.png) [@Enkel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enkel)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2013, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-my-husband-and-i-open-a-deli/593755/85 "2013-03-25T03:10:39Z")
I’m sorry to hear that you’ve opted out. But at least you don’t have to live with “what if”. Baking soda - goat and sheep owners use this and often put it out free choice because it helps them regulate gas in their rumen. So, they might pick it up and take if off your hands. Also, the local cat/dog shelter might make use of it to reduce odors (tax donation)? 75 uses for baking soda: [http://lifehackery.com/2008/07/22/home-4/](http://lifehackery.com/2008/07/22/home-4/) What did you decide about the coffee? I’d been thinking about opening a shop to sell a product, but wanted to create an environment where people stick around for a while, sort of like a coffee (not fancy flavors, just basic coffee, capuchino, and other drinks) shop w/wifi. Did you do anything with coffee? Did you ever get a handle on what profit margins were for that? Do you think the wifi made a difference? Did it help or was it a money sink? Again, I’m sorry that your shop wasn’t what you hoped for and I really appreciate your willingness to answer questions. ---
**Author:** ![gracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8e7dd6/32.png) [@gracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gracer)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2013, 8:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-my-husband-and-i-open-a-deli/593755/86 "2013-03-25T08:33:04Z")
I know what you mean about being saddened when a regular stops coming. I worked in a small hotel for some time, and we had a very good relationship with some of our regulars. It’s strange if you don’t know what’s happened. You’re suddenly worrying me about going back to all the places I’ve lived to tell everyone that I _moved house_, I still like their cake/sandwiches/shop etc. So maybe it was that! (Also, I would definitely keep coming despite a hair, hey, I have hair on my head too.) So your husband still wants to work in that industry… How would you feel if he wanted to start up something similar (but obv somewhere where he can serve alcohol) with his best friend, so you can do something else? Would you be happy for him to take the financial risk, so long as you don’t have to do dishes and make potato salad every day? ---
**Author:** ![not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_what_you_d_expect/32/3246_2.png) [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_what_you_d_expect)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2013, 9:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-my-husband-and-i-open-a-deli/593755/87 "2013-03-25T09:56:22Z")
**Enkel** , Thanks for the info on baking soda. We never did any fancy coffee because there was a coffee place basically next door. We had wifi, but I don’t think it made a difference for us really. The coffee place had sofas and big cushy chairs. I often saw people in there using wifi all day. **Gracer** , it would depend on how much money. I do want him to be happy, but we went through a lot of our savings and we’re in our mid 50’s and don’t have much time left to rebuild for retirement. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2013, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-my-husband-and-i-open-a-deli/593755/88 "2013-03-25T14:26:22Z")
Hey, you can always go back to the food truck idea 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_what_you_d_expect/32/3246_2.png) [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_what_you_d_expect)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2013, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-my-husband-and-i-open-a-deli/593755/89 "2013-03-26T12:46:53Z")
I’ve never seen a food truck in this town, but I don’t think I have the energy to try again. Plus a paycheck would be very appreciated right now. ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2013, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-my-husband-and-i-open-a-deli/593755/90 "2013-03-26T13:05:06Z")
> [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](#): > > I routinely earned the highest tips, but as an owner, I wasn’t allowed to keep any of them if I had another employee in the house. That also became a problem. > > This was something I had no idea about. There are ways around it, but I just didn’t even think about it. Can you elaborate on this? I had always heard that it’s not appropriate to tip the owner, but never knew there was a formalized rule of some kind associated with it – which I infer there is because you say “allowed.” ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2013, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-my-husband-and-i-open-a-deli/593755/91 "2013-03-26T13:12:31Z")
> [@Bricker](#): > > Can you elaborate on this? > > I had always heard that it’s not appropriate to tip the owner, but never knew there was a formalized rule of some kind associated with it – which I infer there is because you say “allowed.” There was a thread on it. [Is anyone here familiar with the tip pooling rules in California?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=666959) ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2013, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-my-husband-and-i-open-a-deli/593755/92 "2013-03-26T13:39:09Z")
The thread doesn’t seem to have cleared anything up. It’s just a bunch of people stating that it’s illegal for an owner to accept a tip, without any citations. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2013, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-my-husband-and-i-open-a-deli/593755/93 "2013-03-26T13:54:02Z")
IANAM (I am not a moderator) but I believe that tipping is one of the subjects that tends to derail threads, so let’s not do that here by discussing the appropriateness of tipping business owners. ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2013, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-my-husband-and-i-open-a-deli/593755/94 "2013-03-26T14:32:30Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > The thread doesn’t seem to have cleared anything up. It’s just a bunch of people stating that it’s illegal for an owner to accept a tip, without any citations. Did you read the link in the very first response? ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2013, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-my-husband-and-i-open-a-deli/593755/95 "2013-03-26T15:26:21Z")
> [@hogarth](#): > > Did you read the link in the very first response? I did. It doesn’t answer the question. Specifically, the link quotes the definition of a tip or gratuity as: > [@](#): > > “Gratuity” is defined in the Labor Code as a tip, gratuity, or money that has been paid or given to or left for an employee by a patron of a business over and above the actual amount due for services rendered or for goods, food, drink, articles sold or served to patrons. Under discussion now, however, is money that was paid, given to, or left directly for the owner by the patron. That is, the owner herself acted as a waitress, and received money from the patron. This is not covered by the definition above. Did I miss something? ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2013, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-my-husband-and-i-open-a-deli/593755/96 "2013-03-26T15:47:50Z")
> [@Bricker](#): > > I did. > > It doesn’t answer the question. > > Specifically, the link quotes the definition of a tip or gratuity as: > > Under discussion now, however, is money that was paid, given to, or left directly for the owner by the patron. That is, the owner herself acted as a waitress, and received money from the patron. This is not covered by the definition above. > > Did I miss something? From the thread, it says they had a tip jar by the cashier, so it’s not clear exactly which employee the tip was intended for. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2013, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-my-husband-and-i-open-a-deli/593755/97 "2013-03-26T16:08:24Z")
> [@hogarth](#): > > Did you read the link in the very first response? No, I completely missed it. :smack: As **Bricker** notes, I’m not sure it’s on point though. ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2013, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-my-husband-and-i-open-a-deli/593755/98 "2013-03-26T16:55:51Z")
> [@hogarth](#): > > From the thread, it says they had a tip jar by the cashier, so it’s not clear exactly which employee the tip was intended for. Wait, the thread about the deli owned by poster **not what you’d expect** and her husband said that the deli had a tip jar? Or the thread about the tip pooling mentioned a tip jar? See, that’s the disconnect. Here, we’re discussing an owner who said: > [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](#): > > I routinely earned the highest tips, but as an owner, I wasn’t allowed to keep any of them if I had another employee in the house. That also became a problem. > > This was something I had no idea about. There are ways around it, but I just didn’t even think about it. Was this a tip jar situation? ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2013, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-my-husband-and-i-open-a-deli/593755/99 "2013-03-26T17:03:37Z")
> [@Bricker](#): > > Wait, the thread about the deli owned by poster **not what you’d expect** and her husband said that the deli had a tip jar? > > Or the thread about the tip pooling mentioned a tip jar? Both threads were started by the same poster. ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2013, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-my-husband-and-i-open-a-deli/593755/100 "2013-03-26T17:27:29Z")
> [@Bricker](#): > > Did I miss something? Answer: yes. :smack: > [@hogarth](#): > > Both threads were started by the same poster. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-my-husband-and-i-open-a-deli/593755.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-my-husband-and-i-open-a-deli/593755.md?page=6)