# Should my son be allowed to charge up food at school to any amount he wants? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 30, 2010, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-my-son-be-allowed-to-charge-up-food-at-school-to-any-amount-he-wants/555543 "2010-09-30T00:57:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Meyer6](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cc9497/32.png) [@Meyer6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meyer6)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2010, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-my-son-be-allowed-to-charge-up-food-at-school-to-any-amount-he-wants/555543/21 "2010-09-30T03:31:29Z")
> [@runner pat](#): > > > [@Kilmore](#): > > > > How old is the boy? Is he of good age to be educated about good nutritional choices? > > He’s 15, high school freshman. Wow, at that age I don’t see how it’s the schools responsibility to enforce rules about what the kid eats. When I was in high school our cafeteria was cash-only, so if I wanted to get snacks or lunch I had to have some dough on me. So either I packed myself a lunch and snack in the morning, or I spent my allowance on junk food at school. I very quickly learned that I’d rather eat mom and dads food than buy my own. Money talks to kids that age (usually). Is there any way you can adjust his allowance so he can pay the school lunch bill himself? Then if he goes over budget it’s his responsibility. For most kids that age I would imagine after the first months bill they will adjust their behaviour accordingly. ---
**Author:** ![moejoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de053/32.png) [@moejoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moejoe)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2010, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-my-son-be-allowed-to-charge-up-food-at-school-to-any-amount-he-wants/555543/22 "2010-09-30T03:32:01Z")
> [@hajario](#): > > > [@runner pat](#): > > > > He’s 15, high school freshman. > > It’s not at all the school’s fault or problem. You need to find a way to get your kid to listen. He’s 15 for fuck sake which and should have known better years ago. Maybe it’s just me, but by the time a kid is 15 I think the listening has to go both ways. Unless there’s more to the story he’s probably not a bad seed who is being disrespectful. Why not ask what his issue is with the at home breakfast choices, and then listen and find some solution that works for both of you? ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2010, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-my-son-be-allowed-to-charge-up-food-at-school-to-any-amount-he-wants/555543/23 "2010-09-30T03:39:31Z")
> [@moejoe](#): > > > [@hajario](#): > > > > It’s not at all the school’s fault or problem. You need to find a way to get your kid to listen. He’s 15 for fuck sake which and should have known better years ago. > > Maybe it’s just me, but by the time a kid is 15 I think the listening has to go both ways. Unless there’s more to the story he’s probably not a bad seed who is being disrespectful. > > Why not ask what his issue is with the at home breakfast choices, and then listen and find some solution that works for both of you? Very good point. I agree with you. Blaming the school or expecting them to deal with it is still ridiculous. ---
**Author:** ![moejoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de053/32.png) [@moejoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moejoe)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2010, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-my-son-be-allowed-to-charge-up-food-at-school-to-any-amount-he-wants/555543/24 "2010-09-30T03:46:49Z")
> [@hajario](#): > > Blaming the school or expecting them to deal with it is still ridiculous. Agreed, because I like the idea that they’ll feed any kid money or not. I think that’s an excellent policy. ---
**Author:** ![Trepa\_Mayfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@Trepa\_Mayfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trepa_Mayfield)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2010, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-my-son-be-allowed-to-charge-up-food-at-school-to-any-amount-he-wants/555543/25 "2010-09-30T03:48:30Z")
What’s wrong with muffins? ☹ ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2010, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-my-son-be-allowed-to-charge-up-food-at-school-to-any-amount-he-wants/555543/26 "2010-09-30T03:49:53Z")
I think the OP ought to come up with a way to get $6/week from the kid, because imho the issue isn’t one of food (he’s got food at home) but (more likely) because it’s now the cool thing to grab a bagel/donut from the school cafeteria among his friends. And at 15, he’s way old enough to do some real work around the house. And maybe kids _are_ different nowadays, but I can’t really seem to get behind the mental image of a 15 year-old boy relishing the act of pulling that granola bar out of his backpack while his friends all have Krispy Kremes. I’m just not buying it. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![moejoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de053/32.png) [@moejoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moejoe)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2010, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-my-son-be-allowed-to-charge-up-food-at-school-to-any-amount-he-wants/555543/27 "2010-09-30T03:53:21Z")
> [@JohnT](#): > > I think the OP ought to come up with a way to get $6/week from the kid, because imho the issue isn’t one of food (he’s got food at home) but (more likely) because it’s now the cool thing to grab a bagel/donut from the school cafeteria among his friends. And at 15, he’s way old enough to do some real work around the house. > > And maybe kids _are_ different nowadays, but I can’t really seem to get behind the mental image of a 15 year-old boy relishing the act of pulling that granola bar out of his backpack while his friends all have Krispy Kremes. I’m just not buying it. 😉 What does a kid get for taking out the garbage these days? He could probably earn the extra $6.25 per week pretty easily. ---
**Author:** ![Kilmore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a6a055/32.png) [@Kilmore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kilmore)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2010, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-my-son-be-allowed-to-charge-up-food-at-school-to-any-amount-he-wants/555543/28 "2010-09-30T03:54:13Z")
> [@pedescribe](#): > > What’s wrong with muffins? ☹ I’d imagine the school muffins are not as wholesome as the right from the oven variety. I’d imagine they’d be packaged. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2010, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-my-son-be-allowed-to-charge-up-food-at-school-to-any-amount-he-wants/555543/29 "2010-09-30T03:56:23Z")
> [@kilmore](#): > > > [@pedescribe](#): > > > > what’s wrong with muffins? ☹ > > i’d imagine the school muffins are not as wholesome as the right from the oven variety. I’d imagine **they’d be packaged.** the horror… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Kilmore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a6a055/32.png) [@Kilmore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kilmore)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2010, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-my-son-be-allowed-to-charge-up-food-at-school-to-any-amount-he-wants/555543/30 "2010-09-30T03:58:29Z")
> [@JohnT](#): > > > [@kilmore](#): > > > > i’d imagine the school muffins are not as wholesome as the right from the oven variety. I’d imagine **they’d be packaged.** > > the horror… > > 😉 With preservatives!!! ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2010, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-my-son-be-allowed-to-charge-up-food-at-school-to-any-amount-he-wants/555543/31 "2010-09-30T03:59:59Z")
:eek: No! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2010, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-my-son-be-allowed-to-charge-up-food-at-school-to-any-amount-he-wants/555543/32 "2010-09-30T04:15:29Z")
> [@OpalCat](#): > > School lunches cost $2.50, breakfast costs $1.25. We have told Dominic that he is not allowed to buy breakfasts at school, because we have lots of cereal, toast, eggs, etc here at home that he can eat. > > Now we find out that he’s been buying breakfasts at school (things like sweet rolls and muffins!CRAP!) and charging it to his account, so that his account goes into the negative. We send in money every week for his lunches, and it’s covering past days’ worth of breakfasts and leaving him still in the hole–yet the school keeps letting him get breakfasts! There is no way to not let him buy food. > > Is this fair? I think it’s bullshit. This reminds me of a field trip years ago where I witnessed a mother who gave her son 20.00 (it was the only bill she had) and asked the chaperon to make sure he did not spend more than 10.00 on snacks. The chaperon told her that there were over 20 kids to look after, and he could not monitor how her kid spent the money. She was personally affronted that he would not take the time to do this in the middle of taking care of these other kids. You are transferring responsibility this matter from you and you child to the school, and that’s no where it belongs. They are there to teach him, not babysit his eating habits. You need to work on his personal discipline issues or do better job of giving him healthy snacks for when he is hungry. Lots of people are not all that hungry right after getting up, and 8-10 AM is when the morning appetite hits. Feed him less at home and give him some snacks he likes for the morning. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2010, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-my-son-be-allowed-to-charge-up-food-at-school-to-any-amount-he-wants/555543/33 "2010-09-30T04:41:58Z")
> [@sisu](#): > > pfft it’s only $6 a week. It’s also teaching him horrible financial skils. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2010, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-my-son-be-allowed-to-charge-up-food-at-school-to-any-amount-he-wants/555543/34 "2010-09-30T04:52:06Z")
> [@OpalCat](#): > > > [@sisu](#): > > > > pfft it’s only $6 a week. > > It’s also teaching him horrible financial skils. Where do you think a teenager should be taught those skills? ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2010, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-my-son-be-allowed-to-charge-up-food-at-school-to-any-amount-he-wants/555543/35 "2010-09-30T04:59:07Z")
> [@pedescribe](#): > > What’s wrong with muffins? ☹ [Calories in muffins](http://www.healthyweightforum.org/eng/calorie-counter/muffin_calorie/) - I aim for around 1500 calories per day - one muffin can be one third of my day’s food. The nutrional value of 1/3 of my day’s food is fat and sugar if I have a big muffin for breakfast. A 15 year old boy can probably handle a lot more calories than I can, but it’s still not a good food choice. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2010, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-my-son-be-allowed-to-charge-up-food-at-school-to-any-amount-he-wants/555543/36 "2010-09-30T05:02:21Z")
He’s not a little kid who needs his hand held. The best way to deal with this is to teach him about natural consequences. Here’s what you do: You tell he that he is going to get a set amount of money in his account every week. That money is _all_ he’s going to get for the week. You let him know that he can charge whatever he wants, whenever he wants, but when the money runs out, that’s it. He’s not getting any more until next week. If he wants to eat breakfast on monday and tuesday, he can, but then he can go hungry on thursday and friday. He will not die if he misses a lunch, and he will learn, on his own, how to manage a budget and how to determine the difference between what he wants and what he needs. This is a lesson that will serve him well whenever he leaves home later. This is a _golden_ opporunity to teach him something about responsibility, money management and natural consequences. Seize it. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2010, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-my-son-be-allowed-to-charge-up-food-at-school-to-any-amount-he-wants/555543/37 "2010-09-30T06:25:32Z")
15?! That’s old enough to make your own food choices and way too old to expect the school to baby sit you. If grabbing breakfast at school is working for him, why wouldn’t you let him do that? $1.25 isn’t exactly busting the bank. I’m sure he has some reason why he prefers to eat there rather than at home. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2010, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-my-son-be-allowed-to-charge-up-food-at-school-to-any-amount-he-wants/555543/38 "2010-09-30T06:32:10Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > 15?! That’s old enough to make your own food choices and way too old to expect the school to baby sit you. If grabbing breakfast at school is working for him, why wouldn’t you let him do that? $1.25 isn’t exactly busting the bank. I’m sure he has some reason why he prefers to eat there rather than at home. Who cares what he prefers? Why should he expect somebody else to pay for it? ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2010, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-my-son-be-allowed-to-charge-up-food-at-school-to-any-amount-he-wants/555543/39 "2010-09-30T06:36:34Z")
Unfortunately for all of us, he has a history of lying about things. We’ve been trying very hard for years to instill a sense of honesty in him, and also responsibility (both financial and otherwise) but he is rather immature for his age and it doesn’t always feel like our progress is that fast. While I agree that I need to work with Dominic on this problem, I also think that the school is wrong to give my son an open-ended line of credit that I will then have to repay. I think it sends absolutely the wrong message to the kids as well as putting me financially on the hook for something that I didn’t agree to. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2010, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-my-son-be-allowed-to-charge-up-food-at-school-to-any-amount-he-wants/555543/40 "2010-09-30T06:39:57Z")
> [@pedescribe](#): > > What’s wrong with muffins? ☹ Nothing as long as it’s just the top. Can’t stand the stumps! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-my-son-be-allowed-to-charge-up-food-at-school-to-any-amount-he-wants/555543.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-my-son-be-allowed-to-charge-up-food-at-school-to-any-amount-he-wants/555543.md?page=3)