# Should 'same sex kiss' be in yearbook

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-same-sex-kiss-be-in-yearbook/66453>\
**Category:** Great Debates\
**Created:** [May 25, 2001, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-same-sex-kiss-be-in-yearbook/66453 "2001-05-25T04:48:26Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 2\
**Page:** 4

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**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\
**Post date:** [June 11, 2001, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-same-sex-kiss-be-in-yearbook/66453/61 "2001-06-11T13:26:24Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Weird\_AL\_Einstein \*  
> \*\*  
> _Sigh_ Ok, first off, I never used the word “dyke” in any of my posts, and for you to even imply that I have is crude.
> 
> Second, you say: “I don’t believe that I…have said anything about people talking about sex in general, or even asking people questions about their sex lives.”
> 
> Yet, just a few posts ago you said: “I don’t think it’s really necessary for there to be “man, I’d love to see that!” comments at any allusion to physical involvement between two women.”
> 
> The phrase “man, I’d love to see that!” sounds like a pretty innocuous “sex in general” type comment to me. It is not even a question, much less a question to **you** about your own personal sex life. Yet you take offense at it.  
> \*\*

It might be an innocuous “sex in general” comment in a general conversation about sex. As a generic response to any allusion to lesbianism, or to what was supposed to be a “Great Debate” about censorship in a high school yearbook, it is inappropriate. I believe **Zette** has already dealt with this.

> [@](#):
>
> \*\*  
> Also, in another post, you said “…I would like other people to keep their noses (and other parts of their anatomy) out of the sex lives of lesbians…” which would seem to contradict the part in the last post where you said “…or even asking people questions about their sex lives.”
> 
> So which is it? Is it rude for us to ask you questions about your sex life, or not, bearing in mind that none of us actually **have**?  
> \*\*

Yes, it is rude to grill people about their sex lives. But despite the rudeness of such an act I never said anything about simple questions about other people’s behavior, which however rude they may be, might be motivated by genuine intellectual curiosity. No one here has objected to any such thing. The closest anyone came to it was **Janie** , who said “When is it EVER appropriate to question ANYONE else so explicitly about their sexuality and sexual activities?”, and note the qualifier “so explicitly”.

The questions I really object to are questions like “Can I watch you have sex?” or “How about you have sex with me and my girlfriend?” These are questions that are never appropriate for a stranger or casual acquaintance, and are rarely appropriate even for someone you have a close relationship with.

> [@](#):
>
> \*\*  
> Third, you said: “…I do not think it is _ever_ okay or even remotely acceptable to ask a stranger or casual aquaintance if you can watch her and her girlfriend have sex.” Has anyone in this thread, or on this board for that matter, made such a request of you?  
> \*\*

According to **ssj\_man2k** any lesbian or bisexual woman should expect it as a reasonable consequence to her failure to remain in the closet. Unless of course she lives in the South, in which case she should expect to be murdered instead.

> [@](#):
>
> \*\*  
> Finally, you said: “What I find to be a “personal affront” is the idea that any woman known to be attracted to other women deserves to be subjected to that sort of treatment, an idea which your little friend quite clearly expressed earlier in this thread.”
> 
> I believe he said something to the effect that women **kissing each other in public** might reasonably expect to be gawked at and/or propositioned, to which I added that anyone kissing in public is likely looking for attention anyway.  
> \*\*

They might well be expecting to be stared at. Or perhaps they just got caught up in the moment. But I am quite certain that of all the people who have ever kissed in public, precious few did so hoping they they would receive sexual invitations from strangers because of it. As I said earlier, it seems to me that people kissing in public would be less likely to welcome such attention than others, since they are after all making a public show of their romantic attachment to _each other_. I doubt if anyone seriously believes that heterosexual couples who kiss in public should expect to be propositioned because of it.

> [@](#):
>
> \*\*  
> Neither of us ever said or implied that “…any woman known to be attracted to other women deserves to be subjected to that sort of treatment…” Remember, this whole thread got started as a debate about a **public** display of affection, and reactions to it.  
> \*\*

You might not have said or implied it; he did. I don’t have any problem with you here, except for your attempts to misrepresent your opposition. I don’t understand why you feel the need to defend **ssj\_man2k** ’s remarks, or what you hope to accomplish by doing so. He’s the only one who knows what he really meant, and if he can’t explain himself then I hardly see how you can succeed where he failed.

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**Author:** ![Weird\_AL\_Einstein](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c67d28/32.png) [@Weird\_AL\_Einstein](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weird_AL_Einstein)\
**Post date:** [June 12, 2001, 10:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-same-sex-kiss-be-in-yearbook/66453/62 "2001-06-12T10:58:44Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Lamia \*  
> \*\*  
> It might be an innocuous “sex in general” comment in a general conversation about sex. As a generic response to any allusion to lesbianism, or to what was supposed to be a “Great Debate” about censorship in a high school yearbook, it is inappropriate. I believe **Zette** has already dealt with this.
> 
> \*\*

There’s a difference between finding something innapropriate and taking personal offense at it. It seemed to me you were taking such comments quite personally. In any case, while I am still relatively new here, I have seen worse examples of thread hijacking than this, even in GD.

> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Lamia \*  
> \*\*  
> The questions I really object to are questions like “Can I watch you have sex?” or “How about you have sex with me and my girlfriend?” These are questions that are never appropriate for a stranger or casual acquaintance, and are rarely appropriate even for someone you have a close relationship with.
> 
> \*\*

Once again, I feel I must point out that no one here has asked you anything like this.

> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Lamia \*  
> \*\*
> 
> > [@](#):
> >
> > \*\*  
> > Third, you said: “…I do not think it is _ever_ okay or even remotely acceptable to ask a stranger or casual aquaintance if you can watch her and her girlfriend have sex.” Has anyone in this thread, or on this board for that matter, made such a request of you?  
> > \*\*
> 
> According to **ssj\_man2k** any lesbian or bisexual woman should expect it as a reasonable consequence to her failure to remain in the closet.  
> \*\*

Again I remind you of the OP. We were talking about two women not merely “out of the closet” but **kissing each other in public**.

> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Lamia \*  
> \*\*
> 
> They might well be expecting to be stared at. Or perhaps they just got caught up in the moment. But I am quite certain that of all the people who have ever kissed in public, precious few did so hoping they they would receive sexual invitations from strangers because of it.  
> \<snip\>  
> I doubt if anyone seriously believes that heterosexual couples who kiss in public should expect to be propositioned because of it.
> 
> \*\*

I can’t really say, as I’ve never done it. If it were on, say, a city street corner I wouldn’t too surprised. All kinds of…ummmm…“unusual” people in the big city.

> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Lamia \*  
> \*\*
> 
> > [@](#):
> >
> > \*\*  
> > Neither of us ever said or implied that “…any woman known to be attracted to other women deserves to be subjected to that sort of treatment…”  
> > \*\*
> 
> You might not have said or implied it; he did.  
> \*\*

Again I remind you, we were talking about two women **kissing each other in public** , not “… **any woman** known to be attracted to other women…” (emphasis on “any woman” added by me).

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