# Should Sandra Bullock Have Known Better? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 31, 2010, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-sandra-bullock-have-known-better/534503 "2010-03-31T21:54:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![SaharaTea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SaharaTea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SaharaTea)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-sandra-bullock-have-known-better/534503/21 "2010-04-01T13:40:23Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > Wasn’t James still married to Lindemulder when Bullock met him? As I recall, James then left Lindemulder when she was pregnant. > > Then five years later, Bullock and James apparently decided they wanted a kid so they sued Lindemulder for custody so they could “rescue” the child. > > So America’s sweetheart stole somebody’s husband and child. Maybe this is all just karma. James left Lindemulder before he met Bullock. He was technically still married when he began dating Bullock, but he was separated and in the process of divorcing. Also, Lindemulder was arrested for beating James in 2003 and spent six months in federal prison in 2009 for tax evasion. James and Bullock had valid reasons for wanting full custody of the kid. We never really know what goes on in a marriage. But Bullock waited until she was 40 to marry for the first time. She doesn’t strike me as the type who takes marriage lightly, or would commit to someone she wasn’t sure about. Looking back it’s very easy to say there were warning signs she should have heeded, but since I’ve fallen for a few douchebags myself, I’m not one to judge. She’s not the a-hole in this situation. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-sandra-bullock-have-known-better/534503/22 "2010-04-01T13:44:34Z")
Knowing nothing of him previously, I first saw him on Celeb Apprentice. He seemed straightforward and sensible and was willing to say what he thought despite the possibility it might not be popular. I liked the guy and thought him reasonably charismatic. Then I saw him on some show where he was in a souped up car and was to try and evade capture by several cops on a closed course. I was shocked to see him leave the course and go flying through a golf couse at a high rate of speed past a bunch of people that had no clue as to the menace that was heading their way. It royally pissed off the cops too because a lot of innocent lives were being put in serious harm for nothing more than a silly wager. Jesse changed the rules to serve his own ego and desires and it didn’t seem to bother him in the slightest that others might be seriously hurt by that. I lost all respect. The guy’s a self-serving tool. Sandra seems like a genuinely good person and I love her sense of humor. She may have taken a chance but I’ve no less sympathy for her now. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-sandra-bullock-have-known-better/534503/23 "2010-04-01T13:53:12Z")
According to one writer to my daily tabloid, there is sexism at play between Bullock’s coverage and the wall-to-wall Woods’ coverage. I got a wry smile out of that. First, as the (allegedly) spurned party, she would not get Tiger-like press. Second, James is nowhere near Woods in recognizabilitly. I follow neither golf, Bullock’s career, nor Monster Garage-type shows, but I knew of Tiger Woods and the only Jesse James I’ve heard of was shot in the back by Robert Ford. ---
**Author:** ![ministryman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@ministryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ministryman)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-sandra-bullock-have-known-better/534503/24 "2010-04-01T14:58:10Z")
The heart wants what the heart wants, and sometimes it blinds the eyes and deafens the ears. I always thought she was one of the classiest women in Hollywood. I still do. I thought Jesse was a bad boy. I think he is a worthless a-hole for what he did. Women like Sandra do not come around very often, and when they do, they need to be cherished. Having made a similar mistake myself, I sympathize and empathize with Sandra, and know that she will find the right man someday. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-sandra-bullock-have-known-better/534503/25 "2010-04-01T15:14:08Z")
C’mon, everybody. He’s more than a century old and he robbed all those banks and killed all those marshals. Should we really be surprised when he cheats on his wife, too? ---
**Author:** ![Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-sandra-bullock-have-known-better/534503/26 "2010-04-01T16:17:22Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > Wasn’t James still married to Lindemulder when Bullock met him? As I recall, James then left Lindemulder when she was pregnant. Yes. From what I’ve read, he cheated on Wife #1 with the woman who became Wife #2. Then he cheated on Wife #2 with Bullock. It should be no surprise to anyone that he cheated on Bullock. If someone cheats on their spouse to be with you, what makes you think you’re so much more special that they won’t also cheat on you? That Hitler thing was too funny! ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-sandra-bullock-have-known-better/534503/27 "2010-04-01T16:40:29Z")
> [@](#): > > Yes. From what I’ve read, he cheated on Wife #1 with the woman who became Wife #2. Then he cheated on Wife #2 with Bullock. It should be no surprise to anyone that he cheated on Bullock. If someone cheats on their spouse to be with you, what makes you think you’re so much more special that they won’t also cheat on you? In five years, we’ll have Bombshell McGee crying on the View, “I thought Jesse and I had something special. But then he left me for Skittles. Which really hurt because I thought Skittles and I had something special too.” ---
**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-sandra-bullock-have-known-better/534503/28 "2010-04-01T16:44:40Z")
It’s funny how people with different interests look at this entirely differently. On another forum I follow, dedicated to pit bull terriers, folks are aghast that Jesse James lost his beloved pit bull Cinnabun not once but _twice_ (fortunately finding her both times). The first time, everyone said things like “Sandra [Bullock] will be mad at him for losing their dog!” The second time, the dog was allegedly just hiding somewhere on the property…and it occurred as the cheating story became public. Personally, I’m imagining that some domestic tranquility was evaporating and the dog fled from the yelling. But anyway, here on the Dope we’re talking about divorce rates and the reality (or unreality) of being away on movie sets, and over there the overriding concern is “How’s the dog?” 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-sandra-bullock-have-known-better/534503/29 "2010-04-01T16:47:13Z")
> [@](#): > > Here’s what I find funny about this- people’s opinion on this sort of thing usually depends on one of(or both of) two things: how much they like the people involved, or how attractive the person they’re cheating with is. I’ll admit my opinion of Bullock went down when I read about the custody battle. The article (which was in People or Us Weekly or something like that) was completely on Bullock’s side. She was such a wonderful person for trying to save this little girl. Janine Lindemulder was an evil drug-abusing ex-con porno-slut who was trying to deny Sandra Bullock the child. But then I thought to myself, “This is not a battle between two strangers trying to adopt some third world orphan. Sandra Bullock is not related to this child. Janine Lindemulder is the girl’s mother. She’s been raising this child and taking care of her ever since Jesse James left them to run off with another woman. What business does Sandra Bullock have stepping in five years later and trying to get custody of some other woman’s child?” ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-sandra-bullock-have-known-better/534503/30 "2010-04-01T20:13:08Z")
> [@McDeath\_the\_Mad](#): > > Maybe Sandra Bullock is a raging hormonal bitch all the time at home? You know, that’s just the thing. Nobody really “knows” either of these two people. Unless your a close friend or family member you’re seeing them through this humongous filter called television. “But she ‘seems’ like such a nice person.” “She ‘seems’ to be like the girl next door.” “He ‘seems’ to be so smart.” Says who? At the Oscars they ‘seemed’ so in love hand-in-hand and he even cried at her acceptance speech. Well I guess we all fell for it since it was a big charade. Do we forget so easily that she’s an “actress” so her talent is “acting”? And these so called “reality” shows are so scripted, edited, manipulated, over produced that anyone who says they know someone’s personality by watching one of these show is fooling themselves. ---
**Author:** ![Linty\_Fresh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Linty\_Fresh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Linty_Fresh)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-sandra-bullock-have-known-better/534503/31 "2010-04-01T22:44:09Z")
I think it could go either way . . . A friend of a friend had a teacher who knew Sandra in high school and said that according to him, she was really pretty nice, but that was a long time ago, and who knows what fame might have done to her personality. Jesse James might come off like a total jerkwad, but as others have noted, he’s got his good points too. He’s a hard worker and seems to know just how good he’s got it, even if he thinks that marital fidelity is something that happens to other people. Very few people are all bad, and nobody’s all good, and I think you can make a case for the vast majority of people having enough going for them to make another person fall in love with them before knowing the whole story. It sounds as if Sandra just fell in love with the bad boy made good. A lot of girls do. They follow the bad boy around and let him use them and fool around on them and break their hearts, all the while smirking at the NHS honor roll student who asks them to to the prom, just because he wears thick glasses and dribbles the basketball in gym class with flouncy wrists, while the guys on his team scream at him and call him “Wedgie Magnet,” and then they go and tell all their friends about how Wedgie Magnet asked them out, and what was he thinking, and why can’t he learn to pitch a baseball without looking like Lamar from **Revenge of the Nerds** , and then they _all_ giggle and chortle and snicker like the little harpies they are, but \*who’s laughing now, Janet?! \*\*Huh?? \*\*\*_ **WHO’S LAUGHING NOW??!!** _ . . . Uhh, right, where were we? Oh, Sandra. Yeah, Sandra should have known better, but you know . . . Shit happens. i bet _Sandra_ wouldn’t call me wedgie magnet ---
**Author:** ![MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MPB_in_Salt_Lake)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-sandra-bullock-have-known-better/534503/32 "2010-04-01T23:34:36Z")
> [@Linty\_Fresh](#): > > I think it could go either way . . . A friend of a friend had a teacher who knew Sandra in high school and said that according to him, she was really pretty nice, but that was a long time ago, and who knows what fame might have done to her personality. > > Jesse James might come off like a total jerkwad, but as others have noted, he’s got his good points too. He’s a hard worker and seems to know just how good he’s got it, even if he thinks that marital fidelity is something that happens to other people. > > Very few people are all bad, and nobody’s all good, and I think you can make a case for the vast majority of people having enough going for them to make another person fall in love with them before knowing the whole story. > > It sounds as if Sandra just fell in love with the bad boy made good. A lot of girls do. They follow the bad boy around and let him use them and fool around on them and break their hearts, all the while smirking at the NHS honor roll student who asks them to to the prom, just because he wears thick glasses and dribbles the basketball in gym class with flouncy wrists, while the guys on his team scream at him and call him “Wedgie Magnet,” and then they go and tell all their friends about how Wedgie Magnet asked them out, and what was he thinking, and why can’t he learn to pitch a baseball without looking like Lamar from **Revenge of the Nerds** , and then they _all_ giggle and chortle and snicker like the little harpies they are, but \*who’s laughing now, Janet?! \*\*Huh?? \*\*\*_ **WHO’S LAUGHING NOW??!!** _ > > . . . Uhh, right, where were we? Oh, Sandra. Yeah, Sandra should have known better, but you know . . . Shit happens. > > i bet _Sandra_ wouldn’t call me wedgie magnet So Janet was pretty hot then, eh? ---
**Author:** ![Linty\_Fresh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Linty\_Fresh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Linty_Fresh)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-sandra-bullock-have-known-better/534503/33 "2010-04-01T23:37:43Z")
> [@MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](#): > > So Janet was pretty hot then, eh? Who’s Janet? sniffle . . . ---
**Author:** ![BigBertha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d78d45/32.png) [@BigBertha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigBertha)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2010, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-sandra-bullock-have-known-better/534503/34 "2010-04-02T01:18:40Z")
Celebrities must marry mormons if they know whats good for them. But alas, they want excitement. And coffee. I am so happy she is divorcing him. I am so tired of all these wives cheated on and staying; why? they want the fame and money? Its not worth it. Shes a hero. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2010, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-sandra-bullock-have-known-better/534503/35 "2010-04-02T01:31:01Z")
> [@BigBertha](#): > > Celebrities must marry mormons if they know whats good for them… She did, but she thought you said “morons.” ---
**Author:** ![Perciful](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b38774/32.png) [@Perciful](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Perciful)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2010, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-sandra-bullock-have-known-better/534503/36 "2010-04-02T01:51:47Z")
> [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](#): > > Yes. From what I’ve read, he cheated on Wife #1 with the woman who became Wife #2. Then he cheated on Wife #2 with Bullock. It should be no surprise to anyone that he cheated on Bullock. If someone cheats on their spouse to be with you, what makes you think you’re so much more special that they won’t also cheat on you? > > That Hitler thing was too funny! Once a cheater always a cheater and since they are both cheaters I feel they both are reaping what they sowed. I lost a lot of respect for Sandra when she went tabloid with her divorce. I hope this is not a new trend because it is just distasteful to air your dirty laundry and very unbecoming of an actress of her stature. ---
**Author:** ![MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MPB_in_Salt_Lake)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2010, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-sandra-bullock-have-known-better/534503/37 "2010-04-02T02:14:13Z")
… ---
**Author:** ![MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MPB_in_Salt_Lake)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2010, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-sandra-bullock-have-known-better/534503/38 "2010-04-02T02:16:11Z")
## Has Sandra Bullock announced that she is actually filing for a divorce? While in a way I do feel somewhat sorry for her, to answer my own OP, certainly she should have known better than to marry a man with his track record of personal behavior—She had ample warning of the kind of man that Jesse James is, but she apparently liked his bad boy image, and as other posters have said upthread, she shouldn’t cry in shock and dismay when he continued to act in the bad boy ethos… If she feels humiliated it’s understandable, but there were red flags everywhere, yet she still insisted on going full steam ahead into a marriage with a proven, dyed-in-the-wool asshole, and absolutely she should have indeed known better… ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2010, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-sandra-bullock-have-known-better/534503/39 "2010-04-02T02:34:45Z")
> [@DCnDC](#): > > Here’s what I find funny about this- people’s opinion on this sort of thing usually depends on one of(or both of) two things: how much they like the people involved, or how attractive the person they’re cheating with is. Think about it. Sandra Bullock is America’s Sweetheart, and Jesse James is some tattooed biker guy she married, so everyone’s reaction is “_Ooh, poor Sandra, what a heartbreaking ordeal!_” and “_Jesse should be ashamed of himself! Look at that skanky whore he cheated with!_” But if we’re talking about, I don’t know, Heidi Montag and Spencer douchebag whatever, the reaction would be more like “_Fuck that bitch, she deserves that shit!_” or “_Spencer’s always been an asshole, what does she expect?_” Not so much. Look, the dude was a “bad boy” and she knew it. Bad boy are indeed- bad. And- ladies- once a scumbag, \*always \*a scumbag- men will not change due to your love. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2010, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-sandra-bullock-have-known-better/534503/40 "2010-04-02T03:13:03Z")
> [@](#): > > The angle I find interesting is the notion that’s being bandied about that female Oscar winners have a tendency to run into relationship problems shortly after winning. Is this an actual occurrence? I hadn’t noticed this before but, damn, look at the record: Julia Roberts - won Oscar March 2001, split with Benjamin Bratt in June 2001. Halle Berry - won Oscar March 2002, seperated from husband Eric Benet October 2003 Nicole Kidman - won Oscar March 2003, not in a relationship at the time but was involved in a lawsuit in 2003 over tabloid rumors that she had an affair with Jude Law, causing his divorce. Charlize Theron - won Oscar February 2004, split with Stuart Townsend in January 2010. Hillary Swank - won Oscar February 2005, seperated from husband Chad Lowe in January 2006. Reese Witherspoon - won Oscar March 2006, seperated from husband Ryan Phillippe in October 2006. Helen Mirren - won Oscar February 2007, still married to husband Taylor Hackford. Marion Cotillard - won Oscar February 2008, still together with Guillaume Canet. Kate Winslet - won Oscar February 2009, seperated from husband Sam Mendes in March 2010. Sandra Bullock - won oscar March 2010, husband revealed to be having affairs that same month. So of the ten women to won a Best Actress Oscar in the last ten years, nine were in a relationship at the time they won and only two are still in those relationships (assuming the Bullock-James marriage ends). Even for Hollywood, that seems to be a high break-up rate. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-sandra-bullock-have-known-better/534503.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-sandra-bullock-have-known-better/534503.md?page=3)