# should the LotR movies be made? **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [September 17, 1999, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-the-lotr-movies-be-made/16888 "1999-09-17T14:32:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![DSYoungEsq](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c6cbf5/32.png) [@DSYoungEsq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSYoungEsq)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 1999, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-the-lotr-movies-be-made/16888/61 "1999-09-29T05:51:00Z")
\ that is the most ridiculous silly thing I have ever read about the LotR, and there were a LOT of silly things written back in the 60’s and 70’s (remember the fan club with its own monthly magazine??). There are two reasons it can’t be true. 1. It couldn’t happen. The _Nazgul_ are what they are because they were induced to wear one of the Nine rings for mortal men back in the Second Age. The reason they are wraiths is because they are unnaturally alive, so thinned by the experience that only the power of their master keeps them going. They are totally under Sauron’s control and couldn’t shuck it off if they tried. 2. Gandalf and Elrond and the elves muse about giving the Ring to Bombadil, who is described as being so feckless that he would likely just toss it away. Even the Witch-King woulda at least USED the thing. I am, of course, assuming the web site is tongue in cheek, though you never know with the LotR… 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![VegForLife](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/9de0a6/32.png) [@VegForLife](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VegForLife)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 1999, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-the-lotr-movies-be-made/16888/62 "1999-09-28T18:47:00Z")
Although the theory may or may not have been advanced in all seriousness, the web-site referenced is definitely treating it as a “crack-pot theory.” At the bottom of the page is a link back to the crack-pot theory page, which includes this one, which I thought quite amusing: [http://www.speakeasy.org/~ohh/twinkies.htm](http://www.speakeasy.org/~ohh/twinkies.htm) Rich ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 1999, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-the-lotr-movies-be-made/16888/63 "1999-09-28T18:55:00Z")
ROFL. It would figure that elves and other mythical denizens like twinkies. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Temujin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Temujin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Temujin)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 1999, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-the-lotr-movies-be-made/16888/64 "1999-09-29T06:50:00Z")
> [@](#): > > ROFL Me too. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 1999, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-the-lotr-movies-be-made/16888/65 "1999-10-04T13:40:00Z")
More on the casting: Uma Thurman won’t be Galadriel after all - she’ll be Eowyn. Cate Blanchett may be Galadriel instead. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 1999, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-the-lotr-movies-be-made/16888/66 "1999-10-04T18:56:00Z")
Sorry not to have seen any more recent posts referencing BotR, but I’m going to inject the subject back into the thread, anyway: So, after Peter Jackson finishes LotR, there will be an opening for a film adaptation of BotR. How do we set up the cast and production team? Director: Mel Brooks (of course) Special effects: Sid and Marty Krofft (or Jim Henson Productions, take your pick) Frito: Danny deVito Spam: Gary Coleman Goodgulf/Serutan: (easy enough to manage dual casting) Christopher Lloyd Arrowroot, son of Arrowshirt: Brendan Fraser (just because he seems to enjoy this sort of thing; cf. George of the Jungle and Dudley Doo-Right) Tweedle-Dum and Tweedle-Dee: John Goodman Feel free to jump in any time. * * * Tom Berenger: “You’re not a good guy at all!” Patrick Wayne: “I’m a LAWYER, you idiot!!” ---
**Author:** ![pldennison](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9fc29f/32.png) [@pldennison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pldennison)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 1999, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-the-lotr-movies-be-made/16888/67 "1999-10-04T19:29:00Z")
Mel Brooks? Mel Brooks hasn’t made a good movie since, well, cripes, since “High Anxiety.” ---
**Author:** ![VegForLife](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/9de0a6/32.png) [@VegForLife](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VegForLife)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 1999, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-the-lotr-movies-be-made/16888/68 "1999-10-04T21:47:00Z")
Geez, that was, like, 2000 years ago. . . Rich ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 1999, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-the-lotr-movies-be-made/16888/69 "1999-10-04T22:57:00Z")
Yeah, well that’s what I mean. He’s DUE! Anyway I couldn’t remember the name of the guy who directed “Rustler’s Rhapsody.” And it coulda been worse. I could have said Jerry Lewis (note to late-arriving archeologists: see Cecil’s weekly column for the day this posting first appeared). kaylasdad99 P.S. VegForLife: 2000 years? I get it. * * * Time to change the signature line; my cover’s been blown . . . ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 1999, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-the-lotr-movies-be-made/16888/70 "1999-10-04T23:17:00Z")
K’s Dad, 2000 years ago we all lived in caves. Veg’s was the best. It even had its own national anthem. What was that anthem again, Veg? -andros- * * * “Listen Children Eternal Father Eternally One!” Exceptions? None! -Doc Bronner ---
**Author:** ![VegForLife](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/9de0a6/32.png) [@VegForLife](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VegForLife)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 1999, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-the-lotr-movies-be-made/16888/71 "1999-10-04T23:41:00Z")
“22 Men.” Rich ---
**Author:** ![RTA](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b4bc9f/32.png) [@RTA](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTA)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 1999, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-the-lotr-movies-be-made/16888/72 "1999-10-05T00:13:00Z")
That fat-lipped, heroin-chic Aerosmith-parasite as Arwen?! Oh god, why, why … ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 1999, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-the-lotr-movies-be-made/16888/73 "1999-10-05T00:49:00Z")
Kayla’s Dad– Mel and Carl Reiner did a comedy sketch a zillion years ago called “The 2000 Year-Old Man.” -andros- ---
**Author:** ![VegForLife](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/9de0a6/32.png) [@VegForLife](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VegForLife)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 1999, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-the-lotr-movies-be-made/16888/74 "1999-10-05T01:35:00Z")
. . .and I couldn’t remember the “cave man” part, so I threw in a song from somewhere else in the bit as the anthem. Rich ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 1999, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-the-lotr-movies-be-made/16888/75 "1999-10-05T04:26:00Z")
andros, Yes, I know. That’s why I said “I get it.” As for the rest, with the 22 men and the anthem, . . . HUH? * * * Time to change the signature line; my cover’s been blown . . . ---
**Author:** ![Warsmith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Warsmith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Warsmith)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 1999, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-the-lotr-movies-be-made/16888/76 "1999-10-06T05:08:00Z")
Haven’t been here in a long while… First, on Dune: You gotta remember the time restraints. Even with all Lynch left out of even the director’s cut, it’s still 4 hours long! If he had tried to make the whole book into a movie, there wouldn’t have been very many people to watch it at all. In reading the book after the movie, I tend to see all the cast members as they were in the movie, except that most act substantially better:P On Bombadil: he is required for the story. As another pointed out, he rescued them from the barrow mound, but he also gave them their leaf-bladed swords, which they carry for most of the rest of the story. Without Bombadil, they’re reduced to making the swords family heirlooms or just having the hobbits walk into the mound, grab the swords and walk back out. If they actually run into the barrow wight and get away from it with the swords, without Bombadil’s help…at the least it would change the characters themselves, in that they were not capable of doing such a thing at that point in the story. Still, I’ll watch it 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 1999, 8:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-the-lotr-movies-be-made/16888/77 "1999-10-06T08:31:00Z")
This is what Peter Jackson had to say about Tom Bombadil last December: > [@](#): > > "Also, will you be including Tom Bombadil? The Ralph Bakshi production cut it out, as did the BBC radio drama.” > > PJ: At this point in time Bombadil is out. The main reason is not just time or pace, but one of simple narrative focus … the Bombadil sequence has so little to do with Sauron or the Ring, it is difficult to justify the screen time. It simply doesn’t give us any vital new information. A very simplest rule of thumb that I use in movie storytelling is to try and further the story with each new scene. > > I’m flicking through our Fellowship script … it is 138 pages long. The Hobbits leave Hobbiton on page 30, and arrive at Rivendell on page 63. Even that 33 pages on the road feels a little long and will probably get trimmed in our next draft. * * * “Waheeey! ‘Duck!’ Get it?” “Errr… No…” “Duck! Sounds almost exactly like fu-” ---
**Author:** ![DSYoungEsq](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c6cbf5/32.png) [@DSYoungEsq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSYoungEsq)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 1999, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-the-lotr-movies-be-made/16888/78 "1999-10-06T18:52:00Z")
So much for the idea of approaching it as a ‘history’ that needs reverent treatment… 😛 ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 1999, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-the-lotr-movies-be-made/16888/79 "1999-10-07T04:32:00Z")
He also only has six hours and other severe limits to recreate half the world population’s imagination in 2D movie format. That’s one hell of a challenge I’d like to see you attempt to live up to. Give the guy a break - his reasonings will be for the best. I’m sure he’s reluctant to cut any scenes out, but if he has to do it, then he’ll be judicious. * * * “Waheeey! ‘Duck!’ Get it?” “Errr… No…” “Duck! Sounds almost exactly like fu-” ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 1999, 9:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-the-lotr-movies-be-made/16888/80 "1999-10-07T09:01:00Z")
If something’s worth doing at all, it’s worth doing right. Who says it has to be done in six hours? Well, the guys who are paying for it, I suppose, but what do they know? I think I’ll just read the trilogy to my little girl right now, before they start putting Shelob action figures into her Happy Meals. Poor kid thinks the little mermaid actually marries the prince; I have to be able to save _some_ literature for her. * * * Time to change the signature line; my cover’s been blown . . . [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-the-lotr-movies-be-made/16888.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-the-lotr-movies-be-made/16888.md?page=5)