# Should the USA annex Alberta? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 24, 2014, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-the-usa-annex-alberta/708094 "2014-12-24T14:07:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Sam\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Sam\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Stone)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2014, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-the-usa-annex-alberta/708094/81 "2014-12-29T04:49:47Z")
> [@Martin\_Hyde](#): > > Since Canada’s military ran out of bullets years ago ourselves would be the only entity we were fighting against. Given that we have some of the world’s best snipers, we really don’t need that many. Seriously, you might ask an American soldier who has served with Canadians in Afghanistan before taking a shot at our military. And if you are ever at the Miramar headquarters for the Top Gun competition, you might look in the trophy case to see which country owns that particular award. While you’re at it, you might want to look up why the NATO armored wargames became known as the ‘Canada Cup’. ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Sam\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Stone)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2014, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-the-usa-annex-alberta/708094/82 "2014-12-29T05:23:47Z")
> [@DrumBum](#): > > One potential problem is convincing the people of Alberta ( Albertans ??? ) that just one gun won’t do. 😃 Not a problem. Albertans have a LOT of guns. We don’t track long guns any more, but there are 175,000 registered restricted weapons in Alberta (handguns, short-barreled shotguns, etc.). There are about a quarter million active licenses to purchase long guns, and god knows how many rifles in the hands of people without licenses. This in a population of about 4 million people. The official government data from the now defunct gun registry showed Alberta with about 380 guns per 1,000 population, which would be over 1 million guns. But many Albertans refused to register their guns, so the real number is probably much higher. I would guess that long gun ownership in Alberta is close to the U.S. per capita, while handgun ownership is maybe 10% of the US per capita. ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2014, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-the-usa-annex-alberta/708094/83 "2014-12-29T06:58:20Z")
> [@Sam\_Stone](#): > > Given that we have some of the world’s best snipers, we really don’t need that many. Britain currently holds the top spot for distance. Canada has 2nd and 3rd. Second (Furlong) is a Newfoundlander, and both he and Perry are Princess Pats. US has 3 in the top ten. Of course it’s tough to compare these with Simo Häyhä, arguably the greatest sniper of all time. It is worth noting that he was active during the Winter War, when the Soviet Union attempted to invade neighboring Finland, which apparently pissed off the Finns. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2014, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-the-usa-annex-alberta/708094/84 "2014-12-29T14:23:26Z")
> [@Motorgirl](#): > > I’ve always thought that a Vermont - Quebec match-up sounded logical. They’ve both got separatist tendencies and could make a nice little country together. People in Vermont don’t speak French. Quebec’s #1 political issue is language, full stop. That one issue absolutely trumps everything else. To combine the two you would have to ask Vermonters to accept living in a place where French was the only official language, and would ask Quebecers to accept doubling the number of Anglophones. Both would be ridiculously unacceptable. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2014, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-the-usa-annex-alberta/708094/85 "2014-12-31T02:24:47Z")
Oh no. If we annex Quebec, those cheese-eating surrender monkeys better start speaking English. They’d be in Amurica now, dammit! ---
**Author:** ![Belowjob2.0](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Belowjob2.0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Belowjob2.0)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2014, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-the-usa-annex-alberta/708094/86 "2014-12-31T03:10:19Z")
Obviously, it’s all of Anglo Canada that we should annex, not just the snow prairies. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2014, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-the-usa-annex-alberta/708094/87 "2014-12-31T03:26:54Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > …and the particular permutation of U.S./Canada is the one where the attacker is awesomely vulnerable to counter-attacks because of a huge insecurable border and enemy agents who will look just like the invaders, perfectly speak their language and be familiar with their customs…a white guy who speaks clear English will become an object of suspicion and Mexicans might start to appear relatively “safe”. “Sorey, sir, I’m looking for information aboot nuclear devices. Is it in one of those hooses over there? Let me write that down on this serviette, eh.” ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2014, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-the-usa-annex-alberta/708094/88 "2014-12-31T03:34:10Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > There’s nothing funnier than when a class clown type, who always considers himself the funniest guy in the room and who has been known to taunt others over lack of humor, gets all harrumphy-and not a little pompous-and doesn’t fucking realize it. Yer killing me here, Ekers! He’s not your buddy, guy. ---
**Author:** ![Martin\_Hyde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/47e85d/32.png) [@Martin\_Hyde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martin_Hyde)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2014, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-the-usa-annex-alberta/708094/89 "2014-12-31T05:19:37Z")
> [@Sam\_Stone](#): > > Given that we have some of the world’s best snipers, we really don’t need that many. > > Seriously, you might ask an American soldier who has served with Canadians in Afghanistan before taking a shot at our military. And if you are ever at the Miramar headquarters for the Top Gun competition, you might look in the trophy case to see which country owns that particular award. > > While you’re at it, you might want to look up why the NATO armored wargames became known as the ‘Canada Cup’. I’ve never seen a thread so full of Canadians with no sense of humor. ---
**Author:** ![Martin\_Hyde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/47e85d/32.png) [@Martin\_Hyde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martin_Hyde)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2014, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-the-usa-annex-alberta/708094/90 "2014-12-31T05:26:25Z")
I’m shocked that people seem so interested in taking these ideas seriously. The reality is long term any sizable occupation of any large territory is simply too deeply unprofitable to be sustained. It can work with small regions like Crimea, but if Russia tried to occupy all of Eastern Europe even if the West didn’t go to war with them over it, it’d be a losing game. The Soviet collapse was in part because of the untenability of keeping it all together if individual pieces of the Soviet Empire didn’t buy into the whole any longer. That being said, if you want to posit a fascist United States like **Bryan** did, there’s no reason it couldn’t mostly occupy Canada. It’d be similar to the German occupation of France. There would be low level resistance, rugged areas on the periphery would fall into resistance control for periods of time. But largely the country would remain occupied, and most people would not fight. Because the areas that did would be mass exterminated, entire towns would be made examples of, the Germans did that in France–but surprisingly they didn’t have to that much. The French knew what the price of resistance was and the lion’s share had no desire to pay it. Occupations work on terror, it’s how ISIS holds places like Mosul and is how the Nazis held much of Europe for several years. Most humans in any country won’t fight against an occupying army. I struggle to think of any occupying army in history from a totalitarian country that was forced out solely by the vanquished populace. I can’t really think of any. All the examples from WWII don’t fit because of the unconquered Allies working to push Germany/Japan out of the vanquished, and examples like the vast land lost by the USSR to Germany don’t hold because Germany never defeated the Soviet Army. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2014, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-the-usa-annex-alberta/708094/91 "2014-12-31T15:34:10Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Oh no. If we annex Quebec, those cheese-eating surrender monkeys… No, you’re thinking of France in Europe. Quebec has poutine-eating surrender monkeys. ---
**Author:** ![EmAnJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d2c977/32.png) [@EmAnJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmAnJ)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2014, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-the-usa-annex-alberta/708094/92 "2014-12-31T15:43:40Z")
> [@Martin\_Hyde](#): > > I’ve never seen a thread so full of Canadians with no sense of humor. I think it’s because the U.S. scares us a little bit, and also because we’re a little bit sick of being talked about like we wouldn’t stand up for ourselves (younger sibling syndrome maybe?). The general attitude we see from Americans is that they take what they fucking want, no one stands in their way, HOOO RAH, fuck all y’all, we’re number one, we’ll kill ya rather than be your friend if you have what we want! That’s scary to the rest of the world. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2014, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-the-usa-annex-alberta/708094/93 "2014-12-31T15:51:11Z")
> [@EmAnJ](#): > > I think it’s because the U.S. scares us a little bit, and also because we’re a little bit sick of being talked about like we wouldn’t stand up for ourselves (younger sibling syndrome maybe?). The general attitude we see from Americans is that they take what they fucking want, no one stands in their way, HOOO RAH, fuck all y’all, we’re number one, we’ll kill ya rather than be your friend if you have what we want! That’s scary to the rest of the world. Yes, Canada is our little brother. We get to tease you unmercifully, but any other country tries that and we nuke 'em back to the stone age. You’ll appreciate that one day when you’re grown up and look back fondly on the noogies we gave you. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2014, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-the-usa-annex-alberta/708094/94 "2014-12-31T16:03:51Z")
> [@robert\_columbia](#): > > Quebec has poutine-eating surrender monkeys. …Its all gravy… What? ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2014, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-the-usa-annex-alberta/708094/95 "2014-12-31T18:18:12Z")
> [@Martin\_Hyde](#): > > I’ve never seen a thread so full of Canadians with no sense of humor. I’m not sure it’s universally funny to say something along the lines of “Hey, wouldn’t it be hilarious if I broke into your house and kidnapped one of your relatives and you couldn’t stop me? Wouldn’t that be the funniest thing _ever_? What, you don’t think it’s funny? You got no sense of humor?” Besides, the OP said “This is a serious question” so if anyone here has a problem, it’s you. ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2014, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-the-usa-annex-alberta/708094/96 "2014-12-31T18:28:54Z")
Sure, why not… Banff is lovely. Also, I like \*\*k.d. lang \*\*pretty well. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2014, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-the-usa-annex-alberta/708094/97 "2014-12-31T18:33:06Z")
So that’s how the war started. The Canadians stopped apologizing when we insulted them and took offense. It’s been awful ever since we occupied the place, shopkeepers are just merely polite when we give them the labeled price in $US. I don’t know how this will ever end with the radicals urging the populace to rise up and not follow all regulations to the letter on one Thursday each month. However, the French there are quite grateful that we didn’t want them. I’m sure they’ll be on our side if the English speaking population is ever less than cordial to us. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2014, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-the-usa-annex-alberta/708094/98 "2014-12-31T18:51:15Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > I’m not sure it’s universally funny to say something along the lines of “Hey, wouldn’t it be hilarious if I broke into your house and kidnapped one of your relatives and you couldn’t stop me? Wouldn’t that be the funniest thing _ever_? What, you don’t think it’s funny? You got no sense of humor?” > > Besides, the OP said “This is a serious question” so if anyone here has a problem, it’s you. If you were this funny when you meant to be, you’d actually be living up to how you imagine yourself.😛 ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2014, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-the-usa-annex-alberta/708094/99 "2014-12-31T19:00:53Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > If you were this funny when you meant to be, you’d actually be living up to how you imagine yourself.😛 I lack confidence in the accuracy of how you imagine I imagine myself to be. ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2014, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-the-usa-annex-alberta/708094/100 "2014-12-31T19:06:33Z")
Only if you’ll agree to assimilate NY state in exchange. 😃 pls canada halp [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-the-usa-annex-alberta/708094.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-the-usa-annex-alberta/708094.md?page=6)