# Should the USA annex Alberta? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 24, 2014, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-the-usa-annex-alberta/708094 "2014-12-24T14:07:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Ibanez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a4c791/32.png) [@Ibanez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ibanez)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2014, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-the-usa-annex-alberta/708094/101 "2014-12-31T21:16:16Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > Yes, Canada is our little brother. We get to tease you unmercifully, but any other country tries that and we nuke 'em back to the stone age. You’ll appreciate that one day when you’re grown up and look back fondly on the noogies we gave you. I think it’s a Americans bustn’ Canadian balls thing. Something I notice Americans do to Canadians on occasion. Except it be considered rude by fellow Canadians for us to do it to you, or any other country for that matter. The ones that do may come across as bustn balls but they actually mean the cheap shots. Never mind the fact that sharing the border with the U.S. is like living with a drunken step-father at times. i.e. Oh shit they invaded Iraq, again ? :smack: I game with a bunch of Americans they bust my balls about being Canadian once and while, it’s all in good fun. It’s kind of a twisted way of showing they like me I think. But there’s some Americans that don’t like Canadians and vice versa for whatever reasons. Now excuse me since it’s new years I’m going to get shit faced. But will leave you all with this CANADA WILL NEVA SURRENDA ! NEVA !!!.. don’t make us come back down to your White House and … and flick lit matches on the lawn ? Happy New Years you Yankee Imperialistic Bastards ! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![XT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xt/32/456_2.png) [@XT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/XT)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2014, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-the-usa-annex-alberta/708094/102 "2014-12-31T21:25:23Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > I’m not sure it’s universally funny to say something along the lines of “Hey, wouldn’t it be hilarious if I broke into your house and kidnapped one of your relatives and you couldn’t stop me? Wouldn’t that be the funniest thing _ever_? What, you don’t think it’s funny? You got no sense of humor?” > > Besides, the OP said “This is a serious question” so if anyone here has a problem, it’s you. “Let’s talk about the moon landing hoax, but I want a SERIOUS discussion about it…” Come on, Bryan, this wasn’t and isn’t a serious question, regardless of what the OP says…even assuming the OP took it seriously, which I wouldn’t doubt. But there is pretty much zero chance that the US would annex Alberta or that Alberta would want to be annexed by the US or Canada would simply go along, so it’s rather like a ‘serious’ discuss about how many angels dance on the head of a pin wrt it’s connection with reality. You Canadian types definitely need to lighten up. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2014, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-the-usa-annex-alberta/708094/103 "2014-12-31T22:04:51Z")
There are plenty of people in the thread discussing the idea jokingly. Are you offended that I’m not? Get over it. ---
**Author:** ![XT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xt/32/456_2.png) [@XT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/XT)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2014, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-the-usa-annex-alberta/708094/104 "2014-12-31T22:08:45Z")
More surprised than offended, to be honest (in fact, no offense at all and all bemused surprise). But hell, if you want to take such a patently ridiculous subject seriously then knock yourself out. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2014, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-the-usa-annex-alberta/708094/105 "2014-12-31T23:13:27Z")
Ekers has his tits so tightly braided that he can’t afford to back off. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2015, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-the-usa-annex-alberta/708094/106 "2015-01-01T00:43:54Z")
That doesn’t even make sense, but I guess if you’re trying to make it personal but not potentially-warnable insulting, I guess your options are limited. ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2015, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-the-usa-annex-alberta/708094/107 "2015-01-01T02:03:49Z")
HE DOES NOT HAVE SAND IN HIS VAGINA OK?!??@!?@?@?E1wdf ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2015, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-the-usa-annex-alberta/708094/108 "2015-01-01T02:33:19Z")
YEAH! SO THERE! all-caps filter ---
**Author:** ![donkeyoatey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47c2d/32.png) [@donkeyoatey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/donkeyoatey)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2015, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-the-usa-annex-alberta/708094/109 "2015-01-01T03:21:48Z")
> [@XT](#): > > …not only doesn’t Alberta want to be part of the US, we don’t really want to expand either, and our relationship with Canada is about as close as to any nation on earth, so I doubt there is anything that either country would want to do to jeopardize that) WTF is this. “Our relationship with Canada is about as close to any nation on earth” Would that be because Alberta is a province of Canada? ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2015, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-the-usa-annex-alberta/708094/110 "2015-01-01T03:57:20Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > I’m not sure it’s universally funny to say something along the lines of "Hey, wouldn’t it be hilarious if I broke into your house and kidnapped one of your relatives and you couldn’t stop me? I guess we’d better not let him in on our plans for Saskatchewan. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Gorsnak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gorsnak/32/7587_2.png) [@Gorsnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorsnak)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2015, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-the-usa-annex-alberta/708094/111 "2015-01-01T04:06:50Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > I guess we’d better not let him in on our plans for Saskatchewan. :eek: How can you have plans for something you can’t even pronounce? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2015, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-the-usa-annex-alberta/708094/112 "2015-01-01T04:43:43Z")
How about the US and Canada just let Alberta and Texas form their own union? Buh-bye. No, you don’t get to build pipelines between the two. ---
**Author:** ![DingoelGringo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9d8465/32.png) [@DingoelGringo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DingoelGringo)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2015, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-the-usa-annex-alberta/708094/113 "2015-01-01T04:53:01Z")
In 1870 the president of the Dominican Republic asked president Grant to annex his country. Grant sent a group to scope it out and recommended to the senate that they do so. It lost in the US senate by one vote. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2015, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-the-usa-annex-alberta/708094/114 "2015-01-01T04:55:40Z")
We’re going to start getting worried just as soon as the average American GI can locate Saskatchewan on a map. Also, I would encourage our American cousins to think hard about taking on a nation that has embraced; same sex marriage, universal health care, equal education, pot de criminalization, abortion rights, and gun control. All WITHOUT the utter societal collapse, of ‘life as we know it’ which all Americans know very well to be the certain result of such backward policies! Why? Because we are clearly indestructible! So you lily livered pantywaists need to step off or we’ll fling some of ‘the socialism’ over that long, long border. We don’t want to do it, you understand. We know it will surely destroy you, but we’ll do it if we have to! ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2015, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-the-usa-annex-alberta/708094/115 "2015-01-01T05:30:43Z")
How is this thread still going? > [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > I’m not sure it’s universally funny to say something along the lines of “Hey, wouldn’t it be hilarious if I broke into your house and kidnapped one of your relatives and you couldn’t stop me? Wouldn’t that be the funniest thing _ever_? What, you don’t think it’s funny? You got no sense of humor?” > > Besides, the OP said “This is a serious question” so if anyone here has a problem, it’s you. Well, the serious question was really more about voluntary annexation. The long-delayed USA invasion of Canada, when it actually happens, very likely will not be give a flying fig about the local culture that will be exterminated & replaced with settlers from the desertified western and central USA. It certainly will not be restricted to Alberta, in whatever washed-up and burned-out condition it finds itself. BC, Ontario, and Quebec have much better land, honestly. And if you want to avoid that, you need to get rid of that sweater-vested maroon that thinks global warming has no downside for Canada. When a third of our country is uninhabitable two months of the year, _we will take yours._ Granted, with ten times the population, we’re doing far more to screw ourselves than you are, but it seems like there’s a synergy between our right-wing, “our” oil companies, Albertan economic libertarianism, and the Harper Government. ---
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2015, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-the-usa-annex-alberta/708094/116 "2015-01-01T05:32:20Z")
> [@Gorsnak](#): > > How can you have plans for something you can’t even pronounce? 😛 It’s not that hard to say North Montana. ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2015, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-the-usa-annex-alberta/708094/117 "2015-01-01T05:39:40Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > Also, I would encourage our American cousins to think hard about taking on a nation that has embraced; same sex marriage, universal health care, equal education, pot de criminalization, abortion rights, and gun control. We’d be saving you from all of that! 😛 Anyway, my question was answered a long time ago. Due to certain characters I have encountered, I really wondered if Albertans wanted to be part of the USA. Apparently they’d rather stay in bed with the rest of Canada. ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2015, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-the-usa-annex-alberta/708094/118 "2015-01-01T05:43:11Z")
And it’s probably a rule that no matter what **foolsguinea** says, if his OP mentions Ted Cruz, he’s not _entirely_ serious. How can anyone take Ted Cruz seriously? ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2015, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-the-usa-annex-alberta/708094/119 "2015-01-01T05:52:26Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > \ > So you lily livered pantywaists need to step off or we’ll fling some of ‘the socialism’ over that long, long border. We don’t want to do it, you understand. We know it will surely destroy you, but we’ll do it if we have to! A little Socialism goes a long way! I’m not too worried about refugees from the desertified states annexing Canada - your country will have collapsed under the weight of your crushing debt and ineffective government long before then. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2015, 7:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-the-usa-annex-alberta/708094/120 "2015-01-01T07:29:03Z")
Seriously no. What a daft idea. Next you guys will want to make Oregon a state. Americans get all of the benefits of Alberta (and all Canada for that matter) in exchange for green pieces of cloth/paper, or papers promising to deliver the cloth/paper, and none of the administrative headaches. Do you have any idea the nightmare of logistics running the fucking Calgary Stampede is every year? We can visit Banff and Jasper (the cool parts of Alberta) for just a few weeks during the summer and leave the upkeep year round to the locals without paying anything the way it currently stands. If we “annex” Alberta, we will all have to accept that we are all responsible for the sands and the XL Pipeline while the Saudis have financially ruined the fucking Koch brothers for us, and we would have to bail the bitch brothers out. And are we seriously going to learn to speak Canadian? It’s bad enough that Canadian law requires Americans to have the menus in fucking French in American French restaurants, but at least we don’t realize we like eating slimy snails and fucking frogs. On the other hand, we could annex Alberta, and the rest of Canada while we are at it, by passing a bill through Congress to make it a territory like Guam. Congress can shirley get its act together sometime in the next 15 years to make a cloture motion and get this done. And then we can treat Canada like Mexico, demanding a long double layered fence and Minutemen to keep Canadians from streaming across our borders for free health care while secretly hiring them to do all the work in our service and construction industry and paying them under the table. We can listen to the right wing radio idiots go on about how Canadians are anchor babying us with assholes like Ted Cruz, who are really spies loyal to the secret rebellion movement who want us to put Queen Liz (and then Charles III) on our postage stamps used on our FedEx envelopes! In exchange for the cheap labor and tar sands oil, we can export ignorance and make them pay a tax to take it. We can force them to put Fox News on their cable and satellite dishes and make them pay for health insurance that isn’t accepted by any providers. And if they resist? We cut off the Pendelton plaid supply. We make the fake Scotsmen in Nova Scotia take off the woolen underpants and FREE WILLY! And the Quebecers? We let them speak French, but then we introduce them to real Frenchmen, the real French language and real French culture and watch how quickly they learn to exclusively speak English with a New York or Philly accent. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-the-usa-annex-alberta/708094.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-the-usa-annex-alberta/708094.md?page=7)