I’d rather see a pop-up that says something like “The last post in this thread was 2632 days ago. Do you wish to proceed?” as some boards do than have a waiting period.
And make it optional for paying members. Perks of membership.
Not that I know of. Certainly not in this version.
If it exists for vBulletin, it’s likely a plugin or “hack.”
I apologise if my reply, posted from my position as “guy who posts here on average 0.73 times per day”, was not up to the high standards you expect.
The weird thing is that I just don’t. Many, many times I’ve read such a thread and really enjoyed it, occasionally posted at the end and then had to hastily add an apology when I realised it was an old thread as people get all weird when such a thing happens.
I think this is the best answer. If a new arrival posts to a zombie it can be helpful, outdated, but not often combatative. If they get called on it though, they can get all upset.
Maybe a waiting period of a fortnight or something until they can start threads would help- and help them get the flavour of the board. I have no idea if it is possible with the mechanics of the board.
The overwhelming majority of new people who come to the Straight Dope get here through a Google search/link.
They expect that following on that link will be no more difficult than Googling was – click on it and go. So we’re already slowing them down and putting them to some inconvenience by making them register to make a posting in the first place.
And then we’re supposed to tell people they have to wait two weeks to make that comment? Would you go back in that situation? Bet not.
And is having new members the actual key element? Does having one new member- whether they fit in or not- supersede everything else?
Did you think of that? Bet not.
We think of the “fit” of posters all the time–new and old. However, there will always be posters who leave due to boredom, changes in life, and other causes. If we do not wish to become an ever-shrinking clique, it behooves us to encourage new folks to enter. I’m not sure where your “one new member” comes from, but putting up barriers is liable to cause rather more than “one” potential member to wander off.
Encountering an occasional zombie seems to be a rather small price to pay for encouraging more people to join.
Wow, I just did search for ‘zombie threads’ and discovered how reviled they are. This surprised me, because, for the life of me, I can’t figure out why. How does the date of the last post have any relevance at all to a discussion? Who cares if there are newer threads on the same topic? If they are truly redundant, then aren’t they effectively just extensions of the old thread anyways? Forgive my ignorance here, maybe someone can explain so I get it.
I saw an interesting attitude on another board, and it’s one that’s echoed here to some extent but, I think only in a nascent form. They call it necro-ing a thread and a thread from 2 years ago that someone who has just now posted timely and relevant information has not been necro-ed but a thread from yesterday that someone bumped just to say, “me too.” has. Food for thought, or it was for me, anyway.
If the thread is old, the OP and many contributors might not be around anymore to respond. This might be important if they are being attacked.
The new contributor to a zombie thread makes the assumption that this is a current, ongoing, active discussion and replies might be different if they were aware it is not.
Those are almost always locked, however.
That doesn’t explain why it gets everyone’s hackles up, however. That’s what’s bemusing to me (and I assume iamnotmbatman).
I agree with you; there is nothing wrong with reviving old threads. At least it’s an attempt to have all the posts on a given topic in fewer different places. There’s a lot of good discussion archived on this board that is worth reviving now and then.
If someone creates a brand new thread, then - instead of snotty “zombie” comments, they get snotty comments like “Didn’t we just have this thread?” and “This was already discussed here, here, and here”. They can’t win.
I note that no one has provided a link to the current Etiquette/Guideline on resurrecting old threads, so let me do that: http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=7697100#post7697100
The policy is that such threads CAN be uncomfortable, for the reasons cited: opening old wounds, unfair (if prior posters have left), confusing (e.g., “current” events), etc. These are less of an issue in some forums than in others. Moderators can shut such things down or can edit in a post to alert folks, if they feel it necessary. Yes, it can be a minor annoyance.
On the other hand, old threads may be the way that newcomers discover us, and we do NOT want to shut that off. So, yeah, saying “Me too” and reviving an old thread is considered poor manners. There are lots of things that newcomers do that are considered poor manners. We put up with them to try to encourage them to learn, and to join our community.
That’s current situation. We’re always willing to discuss it, and the topic does come up every few months or so, but we’ve not seen any overbearing reason to change it.
PERSONAL NITPICK: I really dislike the way that some people announce the resurrected thread by saying “Braaains” or some such. This is incomprehensible to any but long-term posters, is cliquish and excluding; ain’t it better to provide an explanation in a kindly and welcoming way?
I share your bewilderment over this. Same goes for the “Let me Google that for you” crowd, and those who add nothing to a thread except a link to a previous thread, as if the mere existence of a topic in the past renders any new threads invalid.
Why is anybody here if not to read and/or participate in interesting discussions? How long ago the discussion began, or whether something similar was discussed last year, or if information exists somewhere else in the interwebs; all have very little bearing on our ability to have a good conversation here and now.
A minimal number of zombies deserve to be killed, and I think the mods do a fine job of doing what needs to be done. No need to fix what ain’t broke.
Agree 100%.
Some new posters truly are chuckleheads, and I confess to sometimes joining in on the dogpile of ridicule when they are. But I’ve also seen people essentially chased off the playground for wearing a funny hat, and that saddens me. Let’s lighten up a bit, folks.
I also agree, as a board we need to get the fuck over this whole “zombie” thing. There are some cases where it makes sense to shut them down. There are a fair number where it makes sense to point out that the thread is old and conversation not active, so it might not get the response desired by the new poster.
But I agree, just posting “Braiiins” or zombie jokes is a lame response.
Look folks, for better or worse, the internet has changed, with blog comments fields and social networking pages. People have learned different expectations on how to interact via the web, expectations that don’t necessarily mesh with a bulletin board structure and culture. There are going to be adaptations required from both sides. People google search a topic, find a thread, drop in, decide they have a comment to make. Instead of chasing them off for not knowing what we’re like, why not consider welcoming them in and show them the ropes a bit? I mean, if they’re not an obvious troll or spammer, why not give them a chance to learn to like this place as much as we do?
We can always skewer them later if they prove to be worthless.
You mean you don’t know? 
Another site that I use from time to time has a 10 post-in-someone-else’s thread requirement before being given the capacity to be able to start a thread. I think this may be a perfect solution. I can’t stand these jerks who do one time posts, and either are creeps or else troublemakers. I like the zombies, myself. It’s the outsiders coming in and stirring up…uh…well, you get the idea.
Again, this would stop newbies from responding to recent columns in a timely manner.