# Should "They Were Asking For It"-style rape denial be a moddable offence? **URL:** \ **Category:** About This Message Board\ **Created:** [July 9, 2021, 7:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-they-were-asking-for-it-style-rape-denial-be-a-moddable-offence/946068 "2021-07-09T07:09:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![UltraVires](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ecccb3/32.png) [@UltraVires](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UltraVires)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2021, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-they-were-asking-for-it-style-rape-denial-be-a-moddable-offence/946068/41 "2021-07-09T22:04:51Z")
> [@What\_Exit](#): > > You don’t think telling a victim of rape that it was her fault is a different degree of hatefulness than the normal stuff in the pit? Of course it is. But is the new rule in a forum designed for hatefulness that you can be hateful so long as you are not too hateful? And how will that be modded? With a series of ad hoc rules that will apply to single issues at a time but almost never to anything insulting to groups that are not favored by the board? ETA: Please don’t misunderstand me. Jesus, was that an awful thing to say. Just awful. But the whole damn forum is awful. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2021, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-they-were-asking-for-it-style-rape-denial-be-a-moddable-offence/946068/42 "2021-07-09T22:07:41Z")
Shutting down the Pit arguments would be better in their own thread than derailing this one. ---
**Author:** ![DemonTree](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/demontree/32/8646_2.png) [@DemonTree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DemonTree)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2021, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-they-were-asking-for-it-style-rape-denial-be-a-moddable-offence/946068/43 "2021-07-09T22:10:00Z")
> [@UltraVires](#): > > Agreed. We shouldn’t have a forum where broad offensive and hurtful things are not only permitted, but encouraged, and then say, “Oh, but this statement was just too offensive to me.” I agree. This is heinous, but the board created a place specifically to say heinous things to other posters. Protecting favoured groups is exactly the wrong way to go. Just ban insulting other posters, full stop. ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2021, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-they-were-asking-for-it-style-rape-denial-be-a-moddable-offence/946068/44 "2021-07-09T22:23:53Z")
Can we even have this discussion if every other post is “Shut down the Pit”? ---
**Author:** ![octopus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/octopus/32/3716_2.png) [@octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/octopus)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2021, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-they-were-asking-for-it-style-rape-denial-be-a-moddable-offence/946068/45 "2021-07-09T22:34:43Z")
Well that double standard in moderation led to the sticky at the top of the pit and had other ramifications including a moderator quitting over the hypocrisy of it being explicitly allowed in one case and warned in another. Ultimately, when you have a forum where the stated purpose is to allow posters to insult one another you can’t be surprised when certain insults cut a little too deep. And that’s a quite subjective standard. Each poster can’t be expected to maintain a database of what is and isn’t personal or especially traumatic to each other poster. I think it’s reprehensible to post in that particular manner but I think a lot of what is posted in the pit is reprehensible. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2021, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-they-were-asking-for-it-style-rape-denial-be-a-moddable-offence/946068/46 "2021-07-09T23:07:40Z")
So, and I ask the ladies here- are words like 'slut, cunt, bitch" etc Ok if directed at you? > [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > Agreed. Time to re-evaluate the rules. Why not just make the general rules apply to all forums, with sure, a few special rules for each of course? > [@What\_Exit](#): > > Shutting down the Pit arguments would be better in their own thread than derailing this one. Is this a Mod Note? or a poster opinion? Because this is _not a derail._ This hateful thing happened _only_ because **the Pit is a place for hateful things**. If it happened in one of your forums, there’d be a fast warning, no? And we are **not** saying “shut down the Pit”. Leave it for rants, some of the rants are works of art. _I like the rant_s, but I refuse to post in the Pit unless my hand is forced. Just no more personal insults, have the Pit follow the same general rules as all the other forums. Why not? No other board has this. It is costing us members. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2021, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-they-were-asking-for-it-style-rape-denial-be-a-moddable-offence/946068/47 "2021-07-09T23:16:04Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > So, and I ask the ladies here- are words like 'slut, cunt, bitch" etc Ok if directed at you? No, but I’m pretty sure that stuff would get modded. OTOH I recently called another woman a bitch in the Pit (not a board member) so maybe I’m a hypocrite. It feels worse coming from a man. Though I did feel bad later. If the Pit didn’t allow personal insults I wouldn’t have had the satisfaction of telling the victim blamer what I thought of him. That would be a bummer, it felt fantastic. But I’ll allow it was not necessary. ---
**Author:** ![Ranch\_Dip](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranch_dip/32/5238_2.png) [@Ranch\_Dip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranch_Dip)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2021, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-they-were-asking-for-it-style-rape-denial-be-a-moddable-offence/946068/48 "2021-07-09T23:21:34Z")
Just out of curiosity, what does that person bring of value to this forum? What do they bring in terms of open discussion and fighting ignorance. If all they are is horrible, hateful and disgusting, why all the hand wringing. Flush the toilet already. With respect to the topic? It should be moddable, everywhere on the forum. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2021, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-they-were-asking-for-it-style-rape-denial-be-a-moddable-offence/946068/49 "2021-07-09T23:22:15Z")
It very much is a derail. This thread is about whether certain behavior is wrong even in the Pit, and, more specifically how to deal with a certain poster. Whether the Pit as a whole needs to be removed or its purpose changed is a separate question, with separate responses necessary to debate it. It has its own thread. This thread does not need to be taken over by the subject of that thread. By all means, bring up what happened here in that thread. In that thread, we can actually debate the pros and cons of the Pit as it currently exists. The issue here is significant enough to be discussed on its own. It doesn’t need to be redirected to become yet another version of an existing thread. That sort of thing actually makes it harder to discuss the original topic. ---
**Author:** ![Delayed\_Reflex](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/delayed_reflex/32/3172_2.png) [@Delayed\_Reflex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Delayed_Reflex)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2021, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-they-were-asking-for-it-style-rape-denial-be-a-moddable-offence/946068/50 "2021-07-09T23:26:49Z")
> [@What\_Exit](#): > > Shutting down the Pit arguments would be better in their own thread than derailing this one. Any chance the [recent ATMB thread on the Pit](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/revisiting-the-bbq-pit-boon-or-bane/944413/357) could get re-opened then? I think there’s still a lot to be said about the issues people have with the Pit and whether it’s a net-positive thing to have for this board. Or would the mods be open to having a new poll thread in ATMB regarding whether the Pit should be eliminated or have its rules changed? ---
**Author:** ![octopus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/octopus/32/3716_2.png) [@octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/octopus)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2021, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-they-were-asking-for-it-style-rape-denial-be-a-moddable-offence/946068/51 "2021-07-09T23:28:45Z")
Not in the pit it isn’t. ---
**Author:** ![crowmanyclouds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crowmanyclouds/32/19884_2.png) [@crowmanyclouds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crowmanyclouds)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2021, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-they-were-asking-for-it-style-rape-denial-be-a-moddable-offence/946068/52 "2021-07-09T23:30:16Z")
Have all of the recently pitted posters stopped in yet to complain that ‘yeah that mighta been too far… but let me not tell you what I did to get Pitted that totally isn’t the reason I want the Pit closed!’ yet? ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2021, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-they-were-asking-for-it-style-rape-denial-be-a-moddable-offence/946068/53 "2021-07-09T23:38:31Z")
I’m sure it would be fine to start a new thread. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2021, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-they-were-asking-for-it-style-rape-denial-be-a-moddable-offence/946068/54 "2021-07-09T23:39:19Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > It very much is a derail. This thread is about whether certain behavior is wrong even in the Pit, and, more specifically how to deal with a certain poster. No. Because even if a Note or a Warning is issued, it won’t stop the problem. The problem is not that one single post, the problem is the forum that allows posts like that to breed. And there is no other thread- it was **CLOSED JUN 20**. By Miller, of course. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2021, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-they-were-asking-for-it-style-rape-denial-be-a-moddable-offence/946068/55 "2021-07-09T23:41:22Z")
Have all the **Pit habitués** come in to defend their cess Pit yet? ---
**Author:** ![crowmanyclouds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crowmanyclouds/32/19884_2.png) [@crowmanyclouds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crowmanyclouds)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2021, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-they-were-asking-for-it-style-rape-denial-be-a-moddable-offence/946068/56 "2021-07-09T23:44:54Z")
No, not even close. And it’ll be really funny when some of them suggest workable solutions that don’t allow certain people to post with no fear of being called on their bullshit in the only forum that allows it. ---
**Author:** ![octopus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/octopus/32/3716_2.png) [@octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/octopus)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2021, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-they-were-asking-for-it-style-rape-denial-be-a-moddable-offence/946068/57 "2021-07-10T00:08:14Z")
And what solution would that be? Lobbying for selective warnings? ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2021, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-they-were-asking-for-it-style-rape-denial-be-a-moddable-offence/946068/58 "2021-07-10T00:09:02Z")
This whole thing started because all of us in the Pit recognize that this crosses a line. The thread was started by @MrDibble, who you know defends the Pit as a place to attack people. If the thread about removing the Pit got closed, then ask Miller to reopen it, or make a new one. Just don’t hijack this one. That makes it more likely we won’t get anything done. Nearly everyone agrees that at least some of the posts by @split_p_j shouldn’t be allowed here . There is no agreement at all about the Pit. Redirecting the topic from something less contentious to a more contentious topic has a way of making it where neither gets dealt with. ---
**Author:** ![Exapno\_Mapcase](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/exapno_mapcase/32/1051_2.png) [@Exapno\_Mapcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exapno_Mapcase)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2021, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-they-were-asking-for-it-style-rape-denial-be-a-moddable-offence/946068/59 "2021-07-10T00:13:59Z")
> [@What\_Exit](#): > > You don’t think telling a victim of rape that it was her fault is a different degree of hatefulness than the normal stuff in the pit? Are you saying that it’s an example of hate speech? Because hate speech is specifically prohibited even in the Pit. If you think this is an example of hate speech, can you justify that? What rule is being broken if it’s not hate speech? Jerkiness is not mentioned, remember, not even nasty jerkiness. I hate the Pit and thousands of the posts made there, including this one. But I can’t figure out what rule was broken except an ex post facto one. You can’t take the Pit out of this thread entirely. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2021, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-they-were-asking-for-it-style-rape-denial-be-a-moddable-offence/946068/60 "2021-07-10T00:15:33Z")
There hasn’t been much mod participation here because we’re actively discussing this in the mod loop, and we don’t want to say anything now that might be contradicted later after we come to a consensus in the loop. But to clarify, this isn’t a Pit issue. I didn’t moderate the comments because it wasn’t clear to me that they violated the rules of _any_ of the forums, not just if they were okay by Pit standards. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-they-were-asking-for-it-style-rape-denial-be-a-moddable-offence/946068.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-they-were-asking-for-it-style-rape-denial-be-a-moddable-offence/946068.md?page=4)