# Should "They Were Asking For It"-style rape denial be a moddable offence? **URL:** \ **Category:** About This Message Board\ **Created:** [July 9, 2021, 7:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-they-were-asking-for-it-style-rape-denial-be-a-moddable-offence/946068 "2021-07-09T07:09:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![SmartAleq](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smartaleq/32/163_2.png) [@SmartAleq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmartAleq)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2021, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-they-were-asking-for-it-style-rape-denial-be-a-moddable-offence/946068/83 "2021-07-10T18:05:43Z")
You want a special rule? How about allowing rape victims to say EXACTLY what they feel about what a rape apologist says in ANY forum. C’mon, let us tell the shitbird chickenshit assholes who have opinions on things they only know about from the other side exactly what we think of what they think. That seems pretty fair because as it is they can JAQoff anywhere they like with their disgusting opinions and all we can do to fight back is to ask the mostly older male mod squad to do something about it and the results tend to be…inadequate. ---
**Author:** ![chela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chela/32/21582_2.png) [@chela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chela)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2021, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-they-were-asking-for-it-style-rape-denial-be-a-moddable-offence/946068/84 "2021-07-10T18:13:35Z")
I don’t understand the getting angry, pissed off and feeling hateful towards other members. Their views on some subjects might disgust me but I will not expend that much emotional energy in trying to mind fuck someone by telling them how hateful and unwanted they are here. ---
**Author:** ![Babale](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/babale/32/15666_2.png) [@Babale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Babale)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2021, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-they-were-asking-for-it-style-rape-denial-be-a-moddable-offence/946068/85 "2021-07-10T18:20:16Z")
> [@chela](#): > > I don’t understand the getting angry, pissed off and feeling hateful towards other members. That might be because they didn’t tell YOU that you were asking for it when you got raped. Just saying. ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Mouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mighty_mouse/32/7776_2.png) [@Mighty\_Mouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Mouse)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2021, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-they-were-asking-for-it-style-rape-denial-be-a-moddable-offence/946068/86 "2021-07-10T18:28:07Z")
It’s very easy for some people to be nonchalant about something that happens to someone else in a group that you do not belong to. ---
**Author:** ![chela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chela/32/21582_2.png) [@chela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chela)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2021, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-they-were-asking-for-it-style-rape-denial-be-a-moddable-offence/946068/87 "2021-07-10T19:18:42Z")
Right and My comments were in response to a side conversation about the relevance of the pit, I failed to reply quote. Not throwing any groups under the stone cold bus. ✋ 🤚 ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2021, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-they-were-asking-for-it-style-rape-denial-be-a-moddable-offence/946068/88 "2021-07-10T19:24:57Z")
> [@chela](#): > > Right and My comments were in response to a side conversation about the relevance of the pit, I failed to reply quote Did you also fail to see the mod note? ---
**Author:** ![chela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chela/32/21582_2.png) [@chela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chela)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2021, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-they-were-asking-for-it-style-rape-denial-be-a-moddable-offence/946068/89 "2021-07-10T19:40:36Z")
Apparently so ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2021, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-they-were-asking-for-it-style-rape-denial-be-a-moddable-offence/946068/90 "2021-07-10T19:52:21Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > to clarify, this isn’t a Pit issue. I didn’t moderate the comments because it wasn’t clear to me that they violated the rules of _any_ of the forums, not just if they were okay by Pit standards. You didn’t think that post was an attack on another poster in the thread? Because it sure looks like one to me. You didn’t even think it was being a jerk to another poster? I’m flabbergasted. ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2021, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-they-were-asking-for-it-style-rape-denial-be-a-moddable-offence/946068/91 "2021-07-11T04:30:13Z")
> [@How reprehensible do YOU want to be in the Pit?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-reprehensible-do-you-want-to-be-in-the-pit/844084/1): > > **Making personal attacks against posters** > This is both the area where I intend the most immediate change, but also the most subjective. I want to make attacking someone over deep personal trauma out-of-bounds, but that’s going to necessarily be a lot of subjective decisions on my part. It occurs me that telling people that they were responsible for their own rapes to be “attacking someone over deep personal trauma”. But maybe that’s just me. Even in the Pit the behavior at question seems to be a violation already without having to change any rules. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2021, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-they-were-asking-for-it-style-rape-denial-be-a-moddable-offence/946068/92 "2021-07-11T04:44:53Z")
This is why I don’t think shutting down the Pit would do any good. Some people think because you aren’t allowed to use insults, everything will be just fine. That’s not true. If anything, I’ve seen far more offensive things posted outside of the Pit than I ever have inside. We’ve seen posters who were just as hateful and disgusting outside of the Pit and STILL manage to stay inside the rules, or at least avoid being banned. So I don’t think getting rid of it would do any good. (I don’t know about you, maybe I’m nuts, but I’d a million times rather be called a “bitch” or told to “go fuck a cactus” than to read some of the hateful, misogynist crap that has infested this place over the past few years. I think THAT’S driven far more people away than anything else. YMMV. And yes, I’m aware bitch is misogynist – it’s simply the first insult that came to mind. Point is, I’d rather be called names than read posts from rape apologists and incels) ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2021, 8:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-they-were-asking-for-it-style-rape-denial-be-a-moddable-offence/946068/93 "2021-07-11T08:59:55Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > (I don’t know about you, maybe I’m nuts, but I’d a million times rather be called a “bitch” or told to “go fuck a cactus” than to read some of the hateful, misogynist crap that has infested this place over the past few years. Ditto for the racist stuff. It’s gotten better, but we’re by no means clear of it yet. ---
**Author:** ![saje](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saje/32/3631_2.png) [@saje](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saje)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2021, 11:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-they-were-asking-for-it-style-rape-denial-be-a-moddable-offence/946068/94 "2021-07-11T11:36:08Z")
Yes and yes again. ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2021, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-they-were-asking-for-it-style-rape-denial-be-a-moddable-offence/946068/95 "2021-07-11T14:03:03Z")
Right - it’s not the use of “polite” words that makes something right or wrong or that exceeds the “won’t let them asshats get to me” threshold under the Reasonable Person standard. That has been always the case in ANY discussion venue. At best, forcing them to use words suited for public use and complete sentences helps make it clear when something not just ignorant but hateful is expressed. Which then should be addressed as such. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_S](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/46a35a/32.png) [@Max\_S](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_S)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2021, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-they-were-asking-for-it-style-rape-denial-be-a-moddable-offence/946068/96 "2021-07-11T20:09:32Z")
> [@MrDibble](#): > > There should be no need to point to a specific “don’t say rape victims deserve it” rule. It is jerkish, but in this case we have such a rule to point to. Each member of the board agreed to this provision during registration (boldface mine): > [@Terms of Service and FAQ](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/terms-of-service-and-faq/823562/1): > > **Do not** post threats or **state or imply that any individual or group is deserving of harm**. Rape is a form of harm, therefore members are not allowed to state or imply that any individual or group is deserving of rape. ETA: Mods have leeway to grant exceptions to the rule in topics like capital punishment or war (mentioned in the rules), or perhaps even in the case of jokes and/or public figures, but it is _definitely_ a violation to imply that a fellow board member deserves to be raped. ~Max ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2021, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-they-were-asking-for-it-style-rape-denial-be-a-moddable-offence/946068/97 "2021-07-11T20:41:31Z")
> [@What\_Exit](#): > > A decision will be made about that thread and the poster and the subject later tonight I believe, maybe tomorrow. Any update on this, it being “tomorrow” already? ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2021, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-they-were-asking-for-it-style-rape-denial-be-a-moddable-offence/946068/98 "2021-07-11T20:42:19Z")
Not yet. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2021, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-they-were-asking-for-it-style-rape-denial-be-a-moddable-offence/946068/99 "2021-07-11T20:48:11Z")
I await with interest. ---
**Author:** ![crowmanyclouds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crowmanyclouds/32/19884_2.png) [@crowmanyclouds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crowmanyclouds)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2021, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-they-were-asking-for-it-style-rape-denial-be-a-moddable-offence/946068/100 "2021-07-11T21:01:50Z")
I await with trepidation and fear . . . 'cause we’ve been here before and the solution was worse than the problem. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2021, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-they-were-asking-for-it-style-rape-denial-be-a-moddable-offence/946068/101 "2021-07-11T21:21:03Z")
I checked, should be tonight. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2021, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-they-were-asking-for-it-style-rape-denial-be-a-moddable-offence/946068/102 "2021-07-11T21:49:46Z")
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