Right there it contradicts…
[QUOTE=Der Trihs]
willingness to put the children above yourself
[/QUOTE]
As soon as you neglect the serious potential harm to the children for your own desires you are no longer putting them above yourself.
I realize that “driven by desperation” can understandably lead to an affair, but you are driven by your own desires, and not thoughts for the well being of others when it happens.
I’d rather my tax dollar be spent on something more useful than wasting court time dealing with he-said/she-said domestic squabbles over who was or was not driven to have an affair or not have an affair before leaving a failed marriage.
Adultry is not a force of nature. It is not an automatic result of unfulfillment. It is a result of chooseing to meet, court, get naked with and have sex wih someone while choosing to let your oher partner think the relationship is exclusive. Nobody is so horny that they will die if they wait ti resolve their first relationship before rubbing gonads with someone new. No amount of abuse or boredom forces you to have sex with a third party. An affair is always something you actively choose, and is pretty much never a choice coming from maturity, respect, or compassion- all good traits for parents.
All of which has fuck-all to do with legal custody battles. We get it: you are a very moral person. Now try to argue for how this should impact legal matters.
I get that this is your opinion, and I think it’s wonderful that you are so morally perfect (although I wonder if a few years in an awful, abusive marriage might make you a bit more understanding). However, there are people who disagree with you (see: Dan Savage) and they can back up their opinions with all kinds of reasoning too. Not to mention the fact that this kind of change in divorce laws would make the entire process extremely hostile and expensive.
Let’s leave decisions about parenting the way they are; based on actual parenting and not esoteric ideas about morality that can be gleaned from actions between adults. That opens the door to a lot of silly garbage. Kids are not a prize to be won by the most put-upon spouse (if that can ever even be determined).
No, but will you grant that there is a shitload of possibilities between “mildly interested in sexual release” and “death”?