# Should we allow people to do one stupid thing in their life **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [June 12, 2016, 12:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-we-allow-people-to-do-one-stupid-thing-in-their-life/757180 "2016-06-12T12:06:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2016, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-we-allow-people-to-do-one-stupid-thing-in-their-life/757180/21 "2016-06-13T02:32:00Z")
No. Most people do the stupid thing, or more than one stupid thing, and they learn, even if they get away with it. I don’t think that means we ought to let them get away with it, but sometimes it just happens. But a stupid thing that results in injuries to others, lives lost, and stuff like that? No. No getting away with it and no pass. ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2016, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-we-allow-people-to-do-one-stupid-thing-in-their-life/757180/22 "2016-06-13T03:15:12Z")
Despite the claims of the rapist’s father, there has been [substantial documentation](http://www.latimes.com/local/lanow/la-me-ln-stanford-rape-case-documents-release-20160610-snap-htmlstory.html) by the prosecutors’s office, (documentation ignored by the judge), that the rapist’s behavior was consistent with his previous behavior in college along with evidence that his doping, that he claimed began under bad influences in college, was well developed in high school. If we give him a pass for “one stupid action,” we can use that for behavior long past and he should not have been given a pass on this event. ---
**Author:** ![pool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pool/32/4152_2.png) [@pool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pool)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2016, 7:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-we-allow-people-to-do-one-stupid-thing-in-their-life/757180/23 "2016-06-13T07:00:06Z")
The guy pretty much already got the equivalent of a pass with such a freaking light penalty for what he did, sure he’ll be labeled a sex offender, but his life isn’t even closed to being ruined or anything, he’ll have his freedom again shortly. ---
**Author:** ![Go\_Arachnid\_Laser\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b2d939/32.png) [@Go\_Arachnid\_Laser\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Go_Arachnid_Laser_1)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2016, 7:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-we-allow-people-to-do-one-stupid-thing-in-their-life/757180/24 "2016-06-13T07:09:50Z")
I do think that people should have a chance to repay the damage caused. I don’t think that anybody should be allowed to get away free no matter how much of a one-off it was. And one-offs, let’s be honest, are unlikely. Somebody that goes away drunk driving once will probably do it again. Someone who rapes an unconscious girl will do the same next time that he finds a passed-out woman… at least until he suffers some sort of consequences. ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2016, 11:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-we-allow-people-to-do-one-stupid-thing-in-their-life/757180/25 "2016-06-13T11:45:53Z")
> [@Go\_Arachnid\_Laser](#): > > And one-offs, let’s be honest, are unlikely. Somebody that goes away drunk driving once will probably do it again. Someone who rapes an unconscious girl will do the same next time that he finds a passed-out woman… at least until he suffers some sort of consequences. Yes. The reason people rape is because ultimately they **don’t** think it’s a “stupid thing” to do. They consider it satisfying, and/or “badass”, and/or bragworthy (there’s some evidence that the Stanford rapist sent photos of his victim’s exposed body to his buddies during the rape). Letting them get away with it is not going to change that attitude. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2016, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-we-allow-people-to-do-one-stupid-thing-in-their-life/757180/26 "2016-06-13T14:02:28Z")
We do. It’s called “sealing your juvenile record”. > [@Urbanredneck](#): > > The Stanford rape case to me has brought up the question about how we as a society should respond to a young person doing something really stupid. Not really. It’s brought into question how wealth and privilege can effectively buy someone a free pass for committing a criminal act. > [@Urbanredneck](#): > > I mean lets say someone you love, is in college, has a few drinks and then gets in their car and drives away. In the process they cause an accident and kill someone. Or maybe its not drinking? Maybe they are texting on their phone and cause an accident? > > What would you want to have happen to them? What would you have happen if it was a person you loved who was killed by their reckless disregard? > [@Urbanredneck](#): > > Remember, this is someone dear to you whom you love. Maybe the person hasnt done a thing wrong in their lives. Has worked hard in school and so far has done everything right. Only problem is, they made a really stupid mistake that injured or killed other people. or in the Stanford case, got drunk and sexually assaulted someone. Truly accidently mistakes are treated differently from negligence which are treated differently from willful criminal acts. And honestly, who gives a shit if a rapist was a good student or varsity athlete? > [@Urbanredneck](#): > > What should we do to such persons? Does it really benefit society and provide justice to the victim to see them serving 20 years in prison? For something like rape or murder? Absolutely. For vehicular homicide, no. And actual sentencing tends to reflect that. > [@Urbanredneck](#): > > I’d like to add that I know people who have worked in prisons and they say their are many such people, maybe as much as half the prison population, who really are not benefiting from being in prison and who could safely be released into society under probation. We don’t put people in prison for their benefit. > [@Jimmy Chitwood](#): > > When people talk about “rape culture,” one of the things they refer to is the attitude that raping an unconscious victim is an isolated mistake that the rapist deserves leniency for. It’s the general attitude that “boys will be boys” and that the rapist deserves a “free pass” because they happen to be an otherwise upstanding citizen. In fact, it’s part of a more general “entitlement culture”. I saw a lot of this starting in college. No rapes that I’m aware of. But just a general affluent fraternity mentality that rules are mostly a joke to be followed by other people and that money and a closed network can serve to insulate people from the consequences of their actions. ---
**Author:** ![scr4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/59ef9b/32.png) [@scr4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scr4)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2016, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-we-allow-people-to-do-one-stupid-thing-in-their-life/757180/27 "2016-06-13T15:50:49Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > For something like rape or murder? Absolutely. For vehicular homicide, no. And actual sentencing tends to reflect that. You don’t think a tougher punishment for vehicular homicide will act as a deterrent against reckless driving, distracted driving, driving while tired & sleepy, etc.? ---
**Author:** ![WillFarnaby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/willfarnaby/32/514_2.png) [@WillFarnaby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WillFarnaby)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2016, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-we-allow-people-to-do-one-stupid-thing-in-their-life/757180/28 "2016-06-13T15:55:34Z")
Society is irrelevant in a rape case. There is a rapist and a victim. The victim should decide. If a victim would rather see the person in jail a long time, ok. If they want money, ok. If they want to turn the other cheek, ok. ---
**Author:** ![Bone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bone/32/407_2.png) [@Bone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bone)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2016, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-we-allow-people-to-do-one-stupid-thing-in-their-life/757180/29 "2016-06-13T17:18:07Z")
> [@WillFarnaby](#): > > Society is irrelevant in a rape case. There is a rapist and a victim. The victim should decide. If a victim would rather see the person in jail a long time, ok. If they want money, ok. If they want to turn the other cheek, ok. No. The rapist has committed a crime against their victim, \*and \*they have committed a crime against society. Society says that those actions are criminal, not the victim. And society should say, _fuck that guy he should rot._ ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2016, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-we-allow-people-to-do-one-stupid-thing-in-their-life/757180/30 "2016-06-13T18:31:33Z")
> [@WillFarnaby](#): > > Society is irrelevant in a rape case. There is a rapist and a victim. The victim should decide. If a victim would rather see the person in jail a long time, ok. If they want money, ok. If they want to turn the other cheek, ok. So a wealthy rapist should be allowed to keep committing rapes as long as his past victims were willing to accept cash settlements? Shouldn’t there be some attempt to stop him from committing future rapes? And that’s ignoring the issue that your system allows wealthy rapists to commit a string of rapes while not granting poor rapists the same. What’s the distinction you see between rape committed by a wealthy person and rape committed by a poor person? Why is one more acceptable than the other? ---
**Author:** ![harmonicamoon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/65b543/32.png) [@harmonicamoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmonicamoon)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2016, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-we-allow-people-to-do-one-stupid-thing-in-their-life/757180/31 "2016-06-13T19:01:07Z")
Everyone gets one oops in their life. Don’t like your MIL? Off her. Her survivors can then off you. Family of a rapee can off the rapist. But just one oops per life. This may free up the courts. Maybe slow down population growth. Or people may treat each other better, if they know you haven’t used up your opps. ---
**Author:** ![Hey\_Hey\_Paula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hey\_Hey\_Paula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hey_Hey_Paula)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2016, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-we-allow-people-to-do-one-stupid-thing-in-their-life/757180/32 "2016-06-13T21:47:13Z")
**Urbanredneck,** are you willing to be the person killed by the first-time young drunk driver -oops? If no, then why are you willing for the rest of society to risk being that person? If I’m killed by a young drunk driver I would prefer my killer be punished, not let off easy because oops. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2016, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-we-allow-people-to-do-one-stupid-thing-in-their-life/757180/33 "2016-06-13T22:29:11Z")
> [@harmonicamoon](#): > > Everyone gets one oops in their life. Don’t like your MIL? Off her. Her survivors can then off you. > > Family of a rapee can off the rapist. > > But just one oops per life. This may free up the courts. Maybe slow down population growth. > > Or people may treat each other better, if they know you haven’t used up your opps. What happens if I use up my one free oops too early in life? Say I’m a fourteen year old and I kill my math teacher for giving me a pop quiz. Years later, I realize that was a trivial waste of my once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Can I declare that using up my free oops was a stupid thing to do and have another one? Doesn’t everyone deserve a second chance after making a stupid mistake? ---
**Author:** ![Jimmy\_Chitwood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f475e1/32.png) [@Jimmy\_Chitwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jimmy_Chitwood)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2016, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-we-allow-people-to-do-one-stupid-thing-in-their-life/757180/34 "2016-06-15T17:33:41Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > It’s the general attitude that “boys will be boys” and that the rapist deserves a “free pass” because they happen to be an otherwise upstanding citizen. > > In fact, it’s part of a more general “entitlement culture”. I saw a lot of this starting in college. No rapes that I’m aware of. But just a general affluent fraternity mentality that rules are mostly a joke to be followed by other people and that money and a closed network can serve to insulate people from the consequences of their actions. That’s part of it for sure. But it’s more than that. Your average frat boy has a very different level of entitlement about the “rules” about a drunk sorority girl than about, say, the rules about a professor’s Beamer. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2016, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-we-allow-people-to-do-one-stupid-thing-in-their-life/757180/35 "2016-06-15T18:12:19Z")
Why don’t we let everyone who wants the one-time free pass get a tattoo somewhere visible? That way, when they go to rape or steal or kill, they can as long as they choose a victim who is in on the deal and leave the rest of us alone. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-we-allow-people-to-do-one-stupid-thing-in-their-life/757180.md?page=1)