# Should We Invite the Whole Class? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 6, 2011, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-we-invite-the-whole-class/566671 "2011-01-06T22:26:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Barkis\_is\_Willin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a183cd/32.png) [@Barkis\_is\_Willin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barkis_is_Willin)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-we-invite-the-whole-class/566671/41 "2011-01-07T18:22:04Z")
> [@Hal\_Briston](#): > > No one else has school rules that cover this? I have no idea how they go about with enforcement, but The Littlest Briston’s school has a policy on this – you have four choices when it comes to inviting classmates: > > 1: All of them. > 2: None of them. > 3: All the boys. > 4: All the girls. > > No picking and choosing allowed. I don’t know if this is just a way of giving parents an “out” when their kid wants to invite everyone except that one funny-looking kid who eats paste, nor have I heard of anyone trying to get around the policy (of course, there’s only been one birthday party so far, so who knows what the year will bring). I’ve never heard of this. To what age children do these rules apply? As you indicate, enforcement of such a rule would be impossible. Furthermore, I think it’s a little overreaching for a school to dictate who your children can invite to their birthday party. Sheesh. ---
**Author:** ![PeskiPiksi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e495f1/32.png) [@PeskiPiksi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PeskiPiksi)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-we-invite-the-whole-class/566671/42 "2011-01-07T18:24:53Z")
At my niece and nephew’s school (they’re six, too), they have those rules, too, but it only applies if you’re handing out the invitations at school. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-we-invite-the-whole-class/566671/43 "2011-01-07T18:42:13Z")
> [@PeskiPiksi](#): > > At my niece and nephew’s school (they’re six, too), they have those rules, too, but it only applies if you’re handing out the invitations at school. That rang a bell, so I checked with my wife. Bingo – you can’t pick and choose when you’re handing them out _in school_. If you’re sending them outside of school, feel free to exclude all the weird kids you want. ---
**Author:** ![Barkis\_is\_Willin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a183cd/32.png) [@Barkis\_is\_Willin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barkis_is_Willin)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-we-invite-the-whole-class/566671/44 "2011-01-07T18:56:37Z")
> [@Hal\_Briston](#): > > That rang a bell, so I checked with my wife. Bingo – you can’t pick and choose when you’re handing them out _in school_. If you’re sending them outside of school, feel free to exclude all the weird kids you want. Ah, ok. Fair enough, I guess. Perfectly acceptable for the school to regulate party planning on their time. ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-we-invite-the-whole-class/566671/45 "2011-01-07T19:15:12Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > This is the part that made me wonder - your kid breaks another kid’s arm (accidentally), and you don’t even call up and say how dreadfully sorry you are (the other parents, not you, **Winnee** )? WTF, man? > > As for the original question, I’d say invite everyone or invite only seven to ten. Excluding two from the whole class, even if there are extenuating circumstances, seems kind of mean to me. Of course, I’m the person at work who refuses to clique up and exclude anyone there, either - I hate exclusionary practices. 🙂 That’s what I came in here to post. WTF indeed. Were they unaware that this kid broke your kid’s arm? If so, they needed to have been told. Or were they aware and just didn’t give a shit? I’m voting for this choice and my response again is WTF? ---
**Author:** ![Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-we-invite-the-whole-class/566671/46 "2011-01-07T19:25:43Z")
> [@Beadalin](#): > > I thought a good rule of thumb is to invite as many kids as the age your kid is turning. So, five or six other kids should be at the party if you’re not going to invite the whole class. At six, a kid is old enough to choose his own friends. That’s what I’ve always heard. I can’t imagine inviting an _entire class_ of six-year-olds. That would require way too much supervision. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-we-invite-the-whole-class/566671/47 "2011-01-07T19:35:02Z")
No matter how many kids are invited, at that age there is one thing I’d recommend. As they enter your home, each child gets either 10 mg of Diazepam, or 50 mg of Diphenhydramine. With a cup of juice to wash it down. If the arm breaker attends, give him a lil of each. Yes, I have kids. ---
**Author:** ![shiftless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@shiftless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shiftless)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-we-invite-the-whole-class/566671/48 "2011-01-07T19:38:26Z")
I thought the rule for kid’s parties was age of the kid plus one. So seven kids in this case (6 guests.) Any more than that and you have a mob, not a party. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-we-invite-the-whole-class/566671/49 "2011-01-07T20:23:56Z")
> [@Hal\_Briston](#): > > 1: All of them. > 2: None of them. > 3: All the boys. > 4: All the girls. The **Firebug** would take Option 4, if those were the choices. The little Romeo. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![lindsaybluth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/90db22/32.png) [@lindsaybluth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lindsaybluth)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-we-invite-the-whole-class/566671/50 "2011-01-07T20:42:42Z")
OP, you’re gonna get a million answers. I can see both sides of the question, frankly. My little brother is a sophomore and two of his close friends are on his sports team. They’re both seniors. They were wrestling early last summer and one of them injured the other - tore his ACL. They’re still best friends, even though the one kid has had a rough season (it’s 1/3 of the way through) because he’s rehabbing his knee. Maybe you’re right to exclude him, but maybe they would grow to be good friends. Perhaps the parents don’t know - if the teachers didn’t tell them, they’d have no way of knowing. The kid apologized; accidents do happen. My little brother was playing floor hockey, tripped over his own feet and a friend’s feet and smacked his head on the radiator at school. No concussion, but a big goose egg. I don’t think the other kid’s parents called my parents. ETA: It seems like the non-parents are taking the arm breaking more seriously… ---
**Author:** ![winneee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a88e4f/32.png) [@winneee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/winneee)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-we-invite-the-whole-class/566671/51 "2011-01-07T22:55:59Z")
I, too, thought/think/will forever think that the parents should have contacted us. It was not the type of thing where my son’s arm was bumped and later we figured out it was broken. It was _very clearly_ broken and I was shaken up enough that someone else had to drive us to the hospital. I thought about starting a thread asking whether or not I should call _them_ but didn’t. I honestly had myself convinced that they somehow missed either it happening or the fact that their son was involved and was sure I would get a call once school started again but that hasn’t happened. Since their son apologized, I am assuming they know. ---
**Author:** ![lindsaybluth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/90db22/32.png) [@lindsaybluth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lindsaybluth)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-we-invite-the-whole-class/566671/52 "2011-01-07T23:34:31Z")
Um, I wouldn’t assume their son knows. Their son very well could not have told his parents what happened. First kid and you had him late in life, eh? ---
**Author:** ![winneee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a88e4f/32.png) [@winneee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/winneee)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-we-invite-the-whole-class/566671/53 "2011-01-07T23:43:09Z")
> [@lindsaybluth](#): > > Um, I wouldn’t assume their son knows. Their son very well could not have told his parents what happened. > > First kid and you had him late in life, eh? Bingo! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2011, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-we-invite-the-whole-class/566671/54 "2011-01-08T00:13:39Z")
My WTF doesn’t really come from what parents should or shouldn’t do, it’s what human beings should and shouldn’t do - you don’t accidentally break someone else’s arm without apologizing, and since it was a young child who did the breaking, it was the parents who should have also apologized. It’s true I’m not a parent, but when you are, don’t you get to apologize for all kinds of things your kids do because you’re _responsible_ for them? ---
**Author:** ![winneee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a88e4f/32.png) [@winneee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/winneee)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2011, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-we-invite-the-whole-class/566671/55 "2011-01-08T00:40:27Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > My WTF doesn’t really come from what parents should or shouldn’t do, it’s what human beings should and shouldn’t do - you don’t accidentally break someone else’s arm without apologizing, and since it was a young child who did the breaking, it was the parents who should have also apologized. It’s true I’m not a parent, but when you are, don’t you get to apologize for all kinds of things your kids do because you’re _responsible_ for them? I’m glad that the son apologized and hope with that he has a better understanding of how to be safer when playing. If I were the parent, I would have apologized, too, but I probably would have asked what I could do (if anything) and assured them that I had reinforced playground safety with my son. It sounds cliche, but it really does matter to me that a lesson is learned; i.e., a future accident is avoided, more than who apologizes for what. ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2011, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-we-invite-the-whole-class/566671/56 "2011-01-11T04:18:24Z")
> [@Barkis\_is\_Willin](#): > > Furthermore, I think it’s a little overreaching for a school to dictate who your children can invite to their birthday party. Sheesh. It sounds alright to me. Just make sure the kids have a self-accusation meeting before the cake and ice cream! Best wishes, hh ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2011, 9:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-we-invite-the-whole-class/566671/57 "2011-01-12T09:47:54Z")
I’ve never been party (heh heh) to the notion of inviting an entire class to a party of any kind. My mom would set a kid limit and I would have to pick my best friends (I might be able to wheedle her up one more). It helps, I guess, that my classes were pretty much always 25+ people and my circle of friends was usually small. And I never got a petting zoo. grr. Anyway, I vote to keep it small, but then I vote against the petting zoo as well. Huge, total overkill unless it’s a major party (like 5, 10, or 13). Children of your son’s age should be allowed to make (relatively) weighty decisions like who to exclude from their own birthday celebrations. ---
**Author:** ![treis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bc79bd/32.png) [@treis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/treis)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2011, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-we-invite-the-whole-class/566671/58 "2011-01-12T17:31:36Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > My WTF doesn’t really come from what parents should or shouldn’t do, it’s what human beings should and shouldn’t do - you don’t accidentally break someone else’s arm without apologizing, and since it was a young child who did the breaking, it was the parents who should have also apologized. It’s true I’m not a parent, but when you are, don’t you get to apologize for all kinds of things your kids do because you’re _responsible_ for them? But there is no guarantee that the parents know what happened. I didn’t tell my parents shit when I was growing up, and “I broke a kid’s arm” is something I definitely would not have told them. ---
**Author:** ![Agent\_Foxtrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc29f/32.png) [@Agent\_Foxtrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agent_Foxtrot)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2011, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-we-invite-the-whole-class/566671/59 "2011-01-16T16:26:45Z")
Your kid is right. Exclude the two who he doesn’t want there. They’re young, but maybe it’ll give them a clue that their behavior has been unacceptable. Either way, they’ll get over it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-we-invite-the-whole-class/566671.md?page=2)