# Shouting match with my Dad. Over a laundry hamper. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 17, 2007, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shouting-match-with-my-dad-over-a-laundry-hamper/408385 "2007-06-17T20:40:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![cher3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cher3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cher3)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2007, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shouting-match-with-my-dad-over-a-laundry-hamper/408385/21 "2007-06-18T22:37:51Z")
[QUOTE=Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor] Oh, & his diabetes (sp?) really amps his temper, too. This accounts for part of that. [/QUOTE] I was going to ask if he was diabetic. ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2007, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shouting-match-with-my-dad-over-a-laundry-hamper/408385/22 "2007-06-18T22:42:34Z")
This seems as good a place as any to unburden myself. I’ve been trying to lose weight and my boyfriend questioned whether the chicken nachos from El Pollo Loco were the best choice for my dinner last night. It was like I was possessed…I screamed at him not to question me and blah blah. I feel like a complete ass about it. My only possible excuse is that it was after 9pm and I hadn’t eaten all day so I wasn’t thinking straight. The MUD I work in had our annual auction yesterday and I had just spent 7 hours as the auctioneer and was completely exhausted. So yea, sometimes other things are going on and the fight (or in my case banshee impression) have nothing to do with what triggered it. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2007, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shouting-match-with-my-dad-over-a-laundry-hamper/408385/23 "2007-06-18T22:45:16Z")
[QUOTE=Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor] No, he is hostile to this. [/QUOTE] [QUOTE=Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor] Oh, & his diabetes (sp?) really amps his temper, too. This accounts for part of that. [/QUOTE] Ok, sounds like you are the family care-giver. That is noble of you. It is still worthwhile talking to your Dad that you are wondering if it is time to move out and how he feels about it. You know, hint, that if he is going to get that upset over a hamper and threaten to kick you out, that you need to at least be prepared to land on your feet. I also really think you might want to start a thread on what could happen if your Dad ends up seriously ill and is not able to come home. I assume the house and most of the belongings are in his name. This could leave you in a very bad situation. You should worry about this and consider this something you need to be prepared for. I know when my Brother-In-Law’s Mom was too sick with Diabetes to come home, her home and most of her assets were taken by Medicaid to defray the cost of 24x7 care. Jim ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2007, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shouting-match-with-my-dad-over-a-laundry-hamper/408385/24 "2007-06-18T23:06:20Z")
**Antinor** , don’t do that! Never let your stomach get empty. Never let your blood sugar get low. You lose weight by eating healthy\*, not by eating nothing. Keep granola bars with you or something. Doesn’t matter how busy you are; you **have** to eat. \*I despise Pollo Loco, so I can’t comment on the chicken nachos specifically. ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2007, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shouting-match-with-my-dad-over-a-laundry-hamper/408385/25 "2007-06-18T23:12:15Z")
[QUOTE=Rilchiam] **Antinor** , don’t do that! Never let your stomach get empty. Never let your blood sugar get low. You lose weight by eating healthy\*, not by eating nothing. Keep granola bars with you or something. Doesn’t matter how busy you are; you **have** to eat. \*I despise Pollo Loco, so I can’t comment on the chicken nachos specifically. [/QUOTE] It wasn’t intentional to go that long, I was so busy all day I didn’t think about it. Thanks for the concern though. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2007, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shouting-match-with-my-dad-over-a-laundry-hamper/408385/26 "2007-06-18T23:44:01Z")
Hey, I just wish I’d realized this years earlier myself, instead of living from calorie rush to calorie rush. I came thisclose to quitting a job once, because the person supposed to cover my lunch break never showed up. If I’d had a decent breakfast, and decent meals in the preceding days, it wouldn’t have been a crisis. (Though they still suck for not giving me sixty seconds away from my post to scarf a granola bar.) Anyway, I’m just saying, you should regard yourself like a diabetic. Stick to a regular schedule, get plenty of protein, and always have emergency rations with you, no matter how busy you are. – Rilch, who lost 28 pounds, but not through starvation ---
**Author:** ![lavenderviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/cdc98d/32.png) [@lavenderviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lavenderviolet)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2007, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shouting-match-with-my-dad-over-a-laundry-hamper/408385/27 "2007-06-19T02:53:22Z")
[QUOTE=Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor] He can’t be left totally alone. [/QUOTE] But he manages by himself while you’re at work, right? Might make things easier for both of you if you could get a place of your own somewhere nearby but not right underfoot, so that you can check in on him often but have a place to retreat to when the tensions rise. Or perhaps that brother you mentioned can chip in to hire someone to be a personal assistant of some sort. ---
**Author:** ![Uvula\_Donor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e19adc/32.png) [@Uvula\_Donor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uvula_Donor)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2007, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shouting-match-with-my-dad-over-a-laundry-hamper/408385/28 "2007-06-19T03:04:51Z")
[QUOTE=Lisa Ann] UV and VT, that was really nice. :rolleyes: [/QUOTE] Keep your rolling eyes to yourself unless you have some concrete suggestions to help out. Intarweb huggies are all very nice but they do nothing to actually change the crappy situation that Bosda finds himself in. Bosda: Your dad manages okay during the day when you’re at work, right? Would you be able to find him a part-time caregiver, or take advantage of a visiting nurse service? You’re in a poisonous environment and nothing is going to get better until you stand up for yourself. ---
**Author:** ![Kayeby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de0a6/32.png) [@Kayeby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kayeby)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2007, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shouting-match-with-my-dad-over-a-laundry-hamper/408385/29 "2007-06-19T03:21:06Z")
[QUOTE=Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor] I replaced an old laundry hamper. It was nasty, rickety & moldy. Cost to replace: $12. … **I offered to pay for it.** I offered to take it back. [/QUOTE] Wait, I’m confused. Did your father pay for the hamper or did you? If someone had used my money to replace something I didn’t want replaced I’d find that pretty presumptuous. Although when something goes moldy IMO it needs replacing - no arguing with you on that part. Still, it sounds like you and your father don’t get along, you disagree on the level of care he needs, and it’s making both of you miserable. Another vote to move out. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2007, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shouting-match-with-my-dad-over-a-laundry-hamper/408385/30 "2007-06-19T03:34:39Z")
It sounds like you are making the common mistake of thinking that the way you are doing something is the ONLY way to do it. You living with your dad is not the only option. It doesn’t even sound like a very good option; no one gets a free pass to yell at me any more, family or not. I suggest you focus on what you need to do to get your life on track, and also make sure your dad is looked after. If you feel like you absolutely have to stay and look after him, you need to set some better ground rules - who does what, who is in charge of what, and no one gets to yell, bypasses, grief and diabetes or not. The yelling starts, and you walk out. If he’s an adult still in control of himself, he can stop yelling. If he isn’t in control of himself, then he needs some kind of assisted living. ---
**Author:** ![bbs2k](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e495f1/32.png) [@bbs2k](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bbs2k)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2007, 5:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shouting-match-with-my-dad-over-a-laundry-hamper/408385/31 "2007-06-19T05:47:24Z")
Thank you you dee. ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2007, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shouting-match-with-my-dad-over-a-laundry-hamper/408385/32 "2007-06-19T14:46:25Z")
[QUOTE=Uvula Donor] You don’t \*have \*to be a loser. [/QUOTE] No insults anywhere outside the Pit, **Uvula Donor**. ---
**Author:** ![Uvula\_Donor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e19adc/32.png) [@Uvula\_Donor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uvula_Donor)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2007, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shouting-match-with-my-dad-over-a-laundry-hamper/408385/33 "2007-06-19T18:35:24Z")
[QUOTE=SkipMagic] No insults anywhere outside the Pit, **Uvula Donor**. [/QUOTE] Sorry; it wasn’t meant as an insult and I’ll be more careful. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2007, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shouting-match-with-my-dad-over-a-laundry-hamper/408385/34 "2007-06-19T21:28:09Z")
[QUOTE=lavenderviolet] Or perhaps that brother you mentioned can chip in to hire someone to be a personal assistant of some sort. [/QUOTE] HA! Andy didn’t even visit before Mom went into the coma. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2007, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shouting-match-with-my-dad-over-a-laundry-hamper/408385/35 "2007-06-19T21:29:22Z")
And today, everthing is cool again. His mood swings are amazing. ---
**Author:** ![Shera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ba0ec/32.png) [@Shera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shera)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2007, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shouting-match-with-my-dad-over-a-laundry-hamper/408385/36 "2007-06-20T01:35:34Z")
[QUOTE=lavenderviolet] But he manages by himself while you’re at work, right? Might make things easier for both of you if you could get a place of your own somewhere nearby but not right underfoot, so that you can check in on him often but have a place to retreat to when the tensions rise. [/QUOTE] I think this is the ticket. You need a place to retreat that is your own to buy new hampers for without having to worry about unexpected explosions. If you are worried about your dad not being able to contact anyone in case of an emergency, what about [Life Alert](http://www.lifealert.com/) or something similar. That way if something happens when you are not there, he can still get help. I am glad that things are going normal again, but you are probably still at least irritated about it, even is he isn’t. It’s not fun to be living in constant fear of minor decisions causing huge explosions. I speak from experience. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shouting-match-with-my-dad-over-a-laundry-hamper/408385.md?page=1)