# Shove your Christmas Letter right up your chimney **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 17, 2005, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shove-your-christmas-letter-right-up-your-chimney/336084 "2005-12-17T19:20:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![AuntiePam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@AuntiePam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuntiePam)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2005, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shove-your-christmas-letter-right-up-your-chimney/336084/41 "2005-12-17T21:16:23Z")
It’s the impersonal-ness that’s offputting. “This is what my family accomplished this year”, with nothing to show that the sender has spared a thought for you except to include you on their list. “Here’s what I want you to know about ME.” Nah. Don’t bother. I don’t object to getting cards though, and they’re just as impersonal. Maybe it’s the egotism inherent in the letter, which assumes you’re interested in everything they have to say, as opposed to the card, which is simply a greeting. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2005, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shove-your-christmas-letter-right-up-your-chimney/336084/42 "2005-12-17T21:17:29Z")
> [@Nic2004](#): > > Sad a pathetic. It is too bad this person mistakes you for a friend. FRIENDS don’t brag to each other. Bragging is in poor form no matter when or how it’s done (hence my hatred of the “My son is an honor student” bumper stickers). But it’s especially tasteless to enclose a letter where you do nothing but brag about your fabulous life under the guise of celebrating the humble birth of Christ. > [@Nic2004](#): > > If my son is doing the work and using his mind to make an honor roll I’d sky-write it over my house. And you call ME sad and pathetic. > [@](#): > > With all the bad you hear today and the crap many share with total strangers I would think you’d love being privleged to be included in the happiness that these people mistakenly think you, a friend, might enjoy hearing about. If you were my real friend, I’d already know about your son’s batting average and g.p.a. I’d also know about his dyslexia, how the little red-headed girl broke his heart and his battle with acne. I’d be there to share in your happinesses AND your disappointments. I certainly wouldn’t need you to re-cap it for me because I already _know_. And if you DON’T know me well enough to pick up the phone and call once or twice a year, then it’s time to prune them from the Christmas letter list. Trust me, they won’t miss it. ---
**Author:** ![Nic2004](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/4491bb/32.png) [@Nic2004](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nic2004)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2005, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shove-your-christmas-letter-right-up-your-chimney/336084/43 "2005-12-17T21:19:46Z")
> [@PunditLisa](#): > > Trust me, they won’t miss it. Of this I’m sure. ---
**Author:** ![Plynck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Plynck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Plynck)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2005, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shove-your-christmas-letter-right-up-your-chimney/336084/44 "2005-12-17T21:26:52Z")
In general, they don’t really bother me. I think one reason people may resent them is because they are included in the envelope with the Christmas cards. If the letters were received as ordinary correspondence at some other time of the year, most people would be happy to get them, but here they almost seem as if they are included with the card to save the cost of postage. It doesn’t bother me; as one of thrifty Scot descent, I don’t care if they save money by stapling it to a fruitcake. 🙂 Most of the people I know are modest when talking of themselves, so the letters I receive understate rather than overstate their accomplishments. And one person I know writes a letter that is absolutely hysterical in self deprecation, full of tales of woe, missed connections, and bungled communication. Always a joy to read. The ones I don’t like are from the people who won’t have anything to do with me throughout the year, but insist on sending me their list of accomplishments. Ah well, after a few of these I really don’t care about having anything to do with them either, and a Christmas letter is a small price to pay for avoiding their company. ---
**Author:** ![MLS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/919ad9/32.png) [@MLS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MLS)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2005, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shove-your-christmas-letter-right-up-your-chimney/336084/45 "2005-12-17T21:48:51Z")
There is only one person who sends us such a letter. This daughter just got appointed head of the Whatever department at Some Such University. This other one graduated Magna Cum Laude from That University. Son is about to get the Nobel Prize for General Excellence or something. Oh, and the Husband’s New Business is doing really, really well. The funny thing is, this family is Jewish. It’s a typed “Holiday Letter” (no signature, just probably printed a large number off on the computer). I have decided NOT to send back a similar listing all the crappy things that happened in our family this year. The best I could do would be to say that, as far as I know, everyone is out of the hospital (right now), everyone who wanted to be divorced got their final decree, my neice finally got her teeth fixed, and I’m hoping to get a job before the unemployment runs out. ---
**Author:** ![Revenant\_Threshold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f1d935/32.png) [@Revenant\_Threshold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revenant_Threshold)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2005, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shove-your-christmas-letter-right-up-your-chimney/336084/46 "2005-12-17T22:24:33Z")
> [@Nic2004](#): > > You missed the part where I alluded to the idea that I don’t object to getting these from those who call me friend, and I them. I regret that at this time we are neither. If you’re friends with the sender, surely you know all of what they have to say already? Even if they’re halfway across the country, surely, as friends, you’d keep in touch via the phone or email? > [@](#): > > And for the record, I have never sent this type of letter out but appreciate them from friends who are distant and have busy lives. Too often so busy it is difficult to maintain current contact of any degree with a host of friends. I do take great happiness in their successes and sorrow for their failures or losses. Generally, these letters don’t tend to mention the losses - a family member’s death will most likely be included, but again, wouldn’t you as a friend know this already? The “little” losses, as compared to the small triumphs boasted about in letters such as that the OP recieved, are never mentioned. > [@](#): > > And yes, “what joy I’ll have” for anyone who has done well and is happy in their lives. Are you only happy when good things happen to friends, then? You only want letters from friends. Are you indifferent when it comes to others? ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2005, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shove-your-christmas-letter-right-up-your-chimney/336084/47 "2005-12-17T22:29:12Z")
> [@Left Hand of Dorkness](#): > > The hypocrisy just gets worse. > Daniel What hypocrisy? In what way have i advocated one course of action, and undertyaken something contradictory? You might not agree with me—which is your prerogative—but i’m in no way hypocritical. ---
**Author:** ![lezlers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@lezlers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lezlers)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2005, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shove-your-christmas-letter-right-up-your-chimney/336084/48 "2005-12-17T22:32:04Z")
> [@mhendo](#): > > The thing is, many of the people who send out this type of shit are not in any way close to the people to whom they send it. Often, such newsletters—because that’s all they are—get sent to people who are not friends in any real sense of the word, and the newsletters serve as nothing more than a chance to blow their own trumpet. > > If i don’t have any contact whatsoever with someone for a whole year, then chances are that person is not someone i consider much of a friend. And if a person makes no attempt to contact me except in the form of an annual newsletter describing how great his or her family is, chance are that i will view the missive as little more than self-aggrandizing bullshit. This sums it up _perfectly_ And **Left Hand** , the constant "yeah, well _your posts are boring!_ is the equivilent to “oh yeah, _and you’re ugly_!” ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2005, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shove-your-christmas-letter-right-up-your-chimney/336084/49 "2005-12-17T22:45:51Z")
> [@mhendo](#): > > What hypocrisy? Telling me **I’m** getting up on a high horse when the OP is attacking people for sending out Christmas letters, and you’re agreeing with the attack? Looks pretty hypocritical to me: mote, beam, all that. **Lezlers** , the mote and beam thing is something you want to work on, too: that’s why I’m pointing out the mundane nature of your posts. If you weren’t attacking others for mundane communication, I wouldn’t bring it up. When Rush Limbaugh came on Letterman, he made some comment about how Hillary Clinton looked like a hood ornament or something, and Letterman said, “See, you can say that because you’re such a fine specimen of humanity yourself.” His response basically **was** , “Oh yeah, and you’re ugly!” But it was okay, because Limbaugh was calling someone else ugly first, and he was making a point about motes and beams. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2005, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shove-your-christmas-letter-right-up-your-chimney/336084/50 "2005-12-17T22:46:34Z")
_Raises hand timidly._ Am I the only person here who likes both fruitcake _and_ Christmas letters? My family makes our own fruitcake, from an old, old recipe, and I love it all year round. Ant the letters I happen to get are not brag sheets but have serious news as well. My middle sister in particular has a humorous style and I actually look forward to her letters, although we live in the same town and see each other all the time. ---
**Author:** ![Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4da419/32.png) [@Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gala_Matrix_Fire)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2005, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shove-your-christmas-letter-right-up-your-chimney/336084/51 "2005-12-17T23:01:05Z")
I haven’t gotten a lot of holiday newsletters in my life, and I’ve never sent one out, but I think they’re pretty neat. Of course, I consider the people who send them to me to be my friends rather than some kind of rivals who are trying to rub my nose in their happiness. My usual reaction to somebody else’s good fortune is “Good for you, I’m so happy to hear that,” so I don’t agree with a lot of the opinions expressed in this thread. There are quite a few people from whom I only hear once a year, and even though we don’t keep in touch I’m still really happy to hear from them once in a while. I hope they’re happy to hear from me. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2005, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shove-your-christmas-letter-right-up-your-chimney/336084/52 "2005-12-17T23:07:09Z")
I think another problem is that they’re usually mass-produced. They type up a form letter, print out a whole shitload, and then tuck them into envelopes, sending them out to everyone, with no personal note of “Hey, John, I hope things are going well for you at the office!” or “Jane, I hear your youngest just graduated-congratulations!” They have no warmth, no true sense of well-wishing. They’re cold and impersonal. ---
**Author:** ![Jotun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/46a35a/32.png) [@Jotun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jotun)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2005, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shove-your-christmas-letter-right-up-your-chimney/336084/53 "2005-12-17T23:23:36Z")
> [@Revenant Threshold](#): > > You’re totally correct. I look forward to you posting your email address, so that we may all send our own letters - after all, you want to hear all about the successes of our lives over the past year, correct? There seems to be thousands of us - what joy you’ll have reading them! :rolleyes: I’d be glad to send a Giftmas letter! It’s not very often I get to write about my little accomplishments. And they **WILL** be **my** accomplishments, because I have no children…that I know of 😉 Anyway, to respond to the OP. If it was me, I would just send a “Christmas” letter back to them. I’d fill it with exaggerations, absurdities, and things that would make them laugh and/or cringe. I’d provide some examples, but in the spirit of the holiday season. I’ll spare you the cringe inducing details. Ho ho ho. ---
**Author:** ![PastAllReason](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f07891/32.png) [@PastAllReason](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PastAllReason)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2005, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shove-your-christmas-letter-right-up-your-chimney/336084/54 "2005-12-17T23:28:05Z")
> [@amaranta](#): > > > [@Amazon Floozy Goddess](#): > > > > Maybe these “Christmas letters” are an American thing. I’ve never gotten such a letter as the ones described here; During the holidays I’ll get some cards from friends and family that say something like, “Hope you’re doing well; Been thinking of you; Have the best Xmas; etc…” Sometimes these are accompanied by small photos of themselves and/or family. I don’t mind these kinds of greetings at all. In fact I feel happy that they thought of me. > > I’m thinking the same thing. I’ve never received a Christmas letter, I’ve never heard anyone I know discuss this year’s Christmas letter. Most of my family lives on the West Coast, so we talk fairly often, and the only person who sends Christmas cards is my grandmother, who handmakes beautiful cards. No long winded message in them, though. A couple aunts, uncles, and cousins live in Manitoba, so we usually get a card from them - a generic, card-store card with a short message and maybe a picture of the smaller kids with Santa. None of this “My kid’s batting average!” stuff. > > Is this just an American thing? I’m in western Canada and have received them commonly from people all over western Canada, friends and family. So no, I don’t think it’s just an American thing. I don’t mind receiving them, though I don’t send them. There is one that I receive annually that is especially self-congratulatory. That one I enjoy\*\* because\*\* of its smugness. ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2005, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shove-your-christmas-letter-right-up-your-chimney/336084/55 "2005-12-17T23:28:33Z")
> [@amaranta](#): > > Is this just an American thing? I guess, but they’re not all that widespread. I feel like my family received one from my mom’s cousin years ago, but I can’t remember the last time I saw such a thing. Of course, my mom’s family is close enough that they call each other and bitch about everyone else all the time, so it’s not really necessary, and my dad’s family is too dysfunctional (and Jewish) to bother. ---
**Author:** ![Fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bc8723/32.png) [@Fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fish)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2005, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shove-your-christmas-letter-right-up-your-chimney/336084/56 "2005-12-17T23:36:37Z")
I thank Og that I don’t get any braggardly Ogmas letters. The reason I don’t, I think, is because the people in my life who would would ordinarily send me one also send me emails and see me multiple times per year. In the past year, my grandfather removed the cedar fence from his driveway and had rocks installed. His last book was published and he’s starting on a third, all about his inventions and gadgets. He got rid of the swimming raft outside the house because it was falling into disrepair. He had a good crop of fresh tomatoes. He found a dead mouse in the well. He’s been working on a committee which is supposed to produce some kind of monument or education center for a large local prehistoric flood. And he’s been keeping busy since my grandmother died in January. I know this not because he sent me one (1) letter at Christmas, but because he sends out emails and we have dinner together at various holidays throughout the year. I prefer it this way. I can see only a few reasons why someone would write a single Ogmastime letter, and they’re not good. a) feel guilty about lack of communication over the year, desperately trying to renew contact, but not really committed to keeping communications up year-round b) don’t know enough about target family to _actually inquire_ about specific things, so sending general update in hopes of receiving same c) enjoy recapping the year for own purposes, which isn’t bad; however, inflated sense of self-importance requires them to inform everybody in known universe d) doesn’t have time to call me or write to me _personally_, as if I’m a real friend: therefore calculate approximate friendship by dividing 1 / X where X=number of photocopies of letter sent. e) too cheap to phone me long-distance to say hello, hopes by sending an inexpensive bulk-written letter I’ll be enticed to pay the long distance and phone them instead If I were to get one, I’d throw it away. I wouldn’t complain about it — but that doesn’t stop me from disliking them. ---
**Author:** ![Idlewild](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8491ac/32.png) [@Idlewild](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idlewild)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2005, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shove-your-christmas-letter-right-up-your-chimney/336084/57 "2005-12-17T23:37:11Z")
> [@FaerieBeth](#): > > **Idlewild** , this post praising fruitcake is currently labeled as your post# 666. > > This is all the proof I need. Fruitcake is evil. 😃 No, no… coincidence, I assure you! Nothing more! \ There’s no devilry afoot! Just good wholesome dried fruit and liquor! ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2005, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shove-your-christmas-letter-right-up-your-chimney/336084/58 "2005-12-17T23:41:00Z")
> [@Left Hand of Dorkness](#): > > Telling me **I’m** getting up on a high horse when the OP is attacking people for sending out Christmas letters, and you’re agreeing with the attack? Looks pretty hypocritical to me: mote, beam, all that. Actually, i can’t work up the sort of hostility to these letters that is displayed in the OP. The intention of my post was to point out that, while the letters that _you_ receive might not bug you because they come from “a friend” and “an uncle,” the fact is that many people who send out these letters send them to people who are not really friends in any meaningful sense of the word, and the letters often serve as an indication of how little real friendship is involved, rather than a symbol of affection. I was simply pointing out that the sort of people i like to call friends are the sort who communicate with me in a more personal manner than including me in a bulk mailing list. Your comparison of the letters with these message boards is also a rather labored one, because while many people have probably made friends on this board, the fact is that we generally think of each other rather differently than we do of our real-life friends, and as a consequence have rather different expectations regarding levels of communication. If someone on this message board fails to respond to a post of mine, i don’t read as much into it as i would if a friend failed to reply to personal communication. Also, posting to a board where people chose to open your thread or not, and where your posts are often not directed at specific people, is rather different from contructing a letter and sending it off to a specific subset of individuals. You’re a pretty good guy in general, and i agree with much of your politics and many other things you say, but on certain subjects you can be something of a self-righteous prig. I guess this is one of those occasions. > [@bluethree](#): > > There are quite a few people from whom I only hear once a year, and even though we don’t keep in touch I’m still really happy to hear from them once in a while. I hope they’re happy to hear from me. I should qualify my earlier statement on this issue and say that i do have some friends, especially those who live overseas, that i don’t hear from very regularly. The thing is, though, when i do hear from them (and them from me), it’s not a mass-mailed form letter, but a personal communication crafted specifically for the recipient, and reflective of our mutual admiration. ---
**Author:** ![Creaky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e68b1a/32.png) [@Creaky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Creaky)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2005, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shove-your-christmas-letter-right-up-your-chimney/336084/59 "2005-12-18T00:26:51Z")
Yeah, my cousins and aunt do that Xerox letter thing. They’re the only ones in the family who do. I guess I don’t mind too much; at least I get to find out what’s been going on in their lives. They live far away, see, so I don’t get to hear from them much, so even bragging stuff is okay. For my part, when I do my Christmas cards, I hand-write a small, individualized note in just about every card. Takes me awhile, but I think it’s nicer. I’m kind of obssessive-compulsive about that kind of thing…! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![kimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f0a364/32.png) [@kimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kimera)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2005, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shove-your-christmas-letter-right-up-your-chimney/336084/60 "2005-12-18T00:30:47Z")
I love these Christmas letters. I have an insanely large family, nearly all of whom live across the states from me. While I do care about my aunts, uncles and, now that some of them are old enough, cousins, I find it hard to keep in touch with them. I have enough problems keeping up with what is going on in my immediate family and there are only 10 of them! I don’t mind the bragging at all, in fact, I enjoy hearing about how well things are going and what my cousins have achieved. I remember back when we were all snotty punks who used to hate each other. It’s nice to see how much everyone has grown and matured. This doesn’t even include my friends from high school who have spread out over the globe. I lost track of the ones who aren’t online very often and I would love to get even one letter from some of them just because I often wonder what they are doing and how they are. I don’t send the letters myself since everything I’d say can fit in one card (Still working, still going to school). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shove-your-christmas-letter-right-up-your-chimney/336084.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shove-your-christmas-letter-right-up-your-chimney/336084.md?page=4)