# "Showbiz Moms & Dads" (May 4) **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 4, 2004, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/showbiz-moms-dads-may-4/243543 "2004-05-04T23:00:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2004, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/showbiz-moms-dads-may-4/243543/1 "2004-05-04T23:00:37Z")
> [@](#): > > Four year-old pageant competitor Emily attends “Beauty Boot Camp.” > > Aspiring pop star Shane gets ready for a performance in front of 10,000 people. > > Teen actress Jordan plans to appear in a film with Heidi Fleiss. > > The Nutter family is divided over whether to stay in New York or return to Vermont. > > A children’s television producer takes an interest in eight year-old Jordan. I can only assume Shame is going to grab the mike during a baseball game and shriek into it till he’s wrestled to the ground? And I guess the Nutters are “divided” in that _everyone except FlufferNutter_ wants to go the hell back to Vermont. ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2004, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/showbiz-moms-dads-may-4/243543/2 "2004-05-04T23:26:51Z")
“Beauty Boot Camp” for a 4-year-old? I don’t even wanna know. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![DeadlyAccurate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ac91a4/32.png) [@DeadlyAccurate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeadlyAccurate)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2004, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/showbiz-moms-dads-may-4/243543/3 "2004-05-04T23:50:17Z")
I’ve never seen this show, but I’ve been reading these threads with avid interest. I can’t wait to read everyone’s analysis of each episode as it airs. ---
**Author:** ![Kallessa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7993a0/32.png) [@Kallessa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kallessa)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2004, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/showbiz-moms-dads-may-4/243543/4 "2004-05-05T00:08:22Z")
I missed last week’s episode–does Bravo show last week’s episode earlier in the evening? The kid pageant queen is the one that really gets to me. Both Jordan’s want to act (and one Mom handles it well and the other doesn’t, but that’s not the kids fault), Shane is as deluded as his mom and the Nutters seem to just be going through the motions for Dad’s sake (again, not the best situation for the kids, but they have some say in the matter. But having a four year old performing in a pageant is just cruel. I’d ban them until the kids are at least 8–independent enough to really complain if they don’t like it. My neice was in a spur of the moment pageant (part of Rodeo Days, you signed up right before the show) when she was about 3 and it was cute, but the only preparation was changing her into a clean outfit and reminding her not to pick her nose (she didn’t). I think the winner recited the alphabet and everyone got ribbons and candy. My neice had fun, she liked the attention, as I’m sure little Emily does, but the price is too high. I really want to just slap that mom around and tell her to let her child be a child! ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2004, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/showbiz-moms-dads-may-4/243543/5 "2004-05-05T02:08:43Z")
That little Jon-Benet’s mom is a bad parent. Bribing her! Jesus, woman! She’s also inconsistent with her. And FlufferNutter really is thisclose to going over the edge. Eve, apropos of nothing but I can’t e-mail you: I mentioned to you before that F/X Network has a series called [Nip/Tuck](http://www.fxnetworks.com/shows/originals/niptuck_s2/main.html) which features a mtf transsexual as a character (part of the story centers on events surrounding her surgery). I saw tonight that Season one will be re-broadcast beginning Wednesday at 10. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2004, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/showbiz-moms-dads-may-4/243543/6 "2004-05-05T02:12:14Z")
Is that little blonde girls mother destined to become the most hated woman in America? God, I hope so!! Mr. Nutter is looking nuttier and nuttier as the show progresses. Shane had some sort of scheduling conflict and I swear, his mother telling him that everything was going to be just fine reminded me of Angela Lansbury in _The Manchurian Candidate_. I still like Jordan and her mom… they seem the only “normal” ones in this show. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2004, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/showbiz-moms-dads-may-4/243543/7 "2004-05-05T02:31:53Z")
Good lord, does little Faux-Benet have to whip out a gun and scream, “_I don’t want to do this anymore, Mommy?!_” for her mother to get the hint? I think Shame’s agent was bribed by the desperate audience to “mistake” the date of his performance (was he concieved to the tune “Hot! Hot! Hot!,” or what is his mother’s obsession with it?) Little Jordan ain’t _that_ great an actress. In a couple of her scenes, she came off as very fake and actressy. Big Jordan may actually have a modicum of talent, and it seems she is getting hit with a reality stick, which may be the best thing for her. Ma Kettle? I mean, Nutter? Keep that tiny little spine growing, water it every day and get those kids the hell back to Vermont. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2004, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/showbiz-moms-dads-may-4/243543/8 "2004-05-05T02:34:06Z")
I think I’ll give _Nip/Tuck_ a miss, **Ginger** –it’ll probably just depress me or annoy me, and “the subject” is something I rarely think about–it was more than half my life ago! But thanks for the heads-up. ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2004, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/showbiz-moms-dads-may-4/243543/9 "2004-05-05T02:42:11Z")
I don’t remember the thread where it was discussed, but it was lamenting the fact that there were no normal transsexuals in tv or movies, that it was all about the process, not as people. Anyway. ---
**Author:** ![annieclaus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b5a626/32.png) [@annieclaus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/annieclaus)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2004, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/showbiz-moms-dads-may-4/243543/10 "2004-05-05T03:19:42Z")
I thought tonight’s show was kinda boring. No pageants! Just preparation. Fooey! (But I did like the new “twirly” dress.) Shame’s mom calls herself a “choreographer!” Come on, Babe. You are as much a choreographer as your one-note kid is a singer! And what was with that melt-down anyway? Teen Jordan’s Mom gets lost . . . again! This woman needs GPS in her car! Little Jordan remains cute and relatively normal. Thank God! And Ma Nutter threatens to move back to Vermont. . . then folds! What’s wrong with you? You’re married to a lunatic!!! Run away! Run away! As fast as your spindly little legs will carry you!!! (Wasn’t your first clue the beginning-gymnastics-at 22??? Shame on you for bringing forth 7 little Nutters with the Big Nutter!) ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2004, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/showbiz-moms-dads-may-4/243543/11 "2004-05-05T04:15:56Z")
“I’m tired of everyone trying to make me look like an idiot…” Because clearly, you don’t need the help. “…and thinking I suck off my wife!” Dear, there’s no one in America who thinks it’s your _wife_ you want to suck off. FlufferNutter was rather cute back in the day, before repression and insanity took hold. Fluffer Jr is kind of hot in a “his dad’s completely fucked up” kind of way. Was anyone else deeply disturbed that one of the lessons young Jordan is taking away from her early career is the difference between “white voice” and “black voice”? I loved how Shame’s mother had a conniption over the girl missing rehearsal and telling all the girls in her stern voice about the importance of making and keeping a commitment, then tells Shame to blow off the community theatre commitment to caterwaul at the fair. ---
**Author:** ![Kallessa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7993a0/32.png) [@Kallessa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kallessa)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2004, 6:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/showbiz-moms-dads-may-4/243543/12 "2004-05-05T06:59:54Z")
Hmmmm, teen Jordan’s first feature film role is apparently a teen slasher flick, and it features Heidi Fleiss. Wait, wait, I’m getting a message from the spirit world . . . yes, yes, it’s becoming clear to me . . . yes, the spirits confirm it. Jordan has a career in B movies and will be best remembered (and a popular trivia question) for briefly being the best friend of a major star she will meet in rehab before fading from all sight. Little Emily will be Donald Trump’s 13th wife. This is Shane’s moment in the sun. One of the kids in the Nutter clan will become a big star, but by doing something Dad doesn’t like; because the kid is sucessful, Dad isn’t needed anymore, and after a big confrontation, Dad will realize he did everything for himself, but he’ll ride the coattails of his kid’s fame forevermore anyway. (Yes, I did see _Gypsy_ last week, but you must admit, we can all see Papa Nutter in the Mama Rose role.) Little Jordan will grow up to be anything she wants to be. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2004, 7:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/showbiz-moms-dads-may-4/243543/13 "2004-05-05T07:06:19Z")
Oh, and speaking of teen Jordan, how the hell does a production company get away with paying someone $50 for a role? [This](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0384803/fullcredits) is Heidi Fleiss’s only IMDB credit for 2004 and there’s no actress named Jordan and no role under the name “Tiffany” so it would seem either something happened or Jordan got left on the cutting room floor. ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2004, 12:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/showbiz-moms-dads-may-4/243543/14 "2004-05-05T12:16:41Z")
Emily’s mom is just nuts. $500 for that dress she’ll wear once? That’s insane. I liked how she tried to justify it at the register. “Well, I know it’s a lot of money, but she _needs_ it for the pageant!” And bribing her with toys is bad, bad, bad. And constantly telling her to put her thumb in her mouth is really bad. I’ve seen her do that several times. And Shane’s mom is just as bad. Good God, the kid is throwing up from stress at 13? Something’s very wrong with this picture. ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2004, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/showbiz-moms-dads-may-4/243543/15 "2004-05-05T12:21:44Z")
“You’re 4 years old…act like it!” I thought she was doing every 4 year old justice. ---
**Author:** ![bobkitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c67d28/32.png) [@bobkitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobkitty)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2004, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/showbiz-moms-dads-may-4/243543/16 "2004-05-05T12:55:22Z")
Mr. Kitty goes into conniptions when I try to watch this show, so I only get to see it in bits and pieces. Enough to scare me. Did anyone catch the participants on Oprah yesterday? I saw the commercial for it but forgot to actually watch; while flipping through channels I stumbled across “Oprah after the show” and it was the last few minutes with Ma Nutter talking about running to and from school 10 miles when she was a wee pre-Nutter, FlufferNutter quoting the bible, and some guy in the audience saying he wants the FlufferClan to respect their parents. I would love to have seen how the rest of the show turned out. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2004, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/showbiz-moms-dads-may-4/243543/17 "2004-05-05T13:01:38Z")
> [@Otto](#): > > Oh, and speaking of teen Jordan, how the hell does a production company get away with paying someone $50 for a role? [This](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0384803/fullcredits) is Heidi Fleiss’s only IMDB credit for 2004 and there’s no actress named Jordan and no role under the name “Tiffany” so it would seem either something happened or Jordan got left on the cutting room floor. I might be mistaken, but wasn’t she just an extra? ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2004, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/showbiz-moms-dads-may-4/243543/18 "2004-05-05T13:55:58Z")
I hope to goodness Shame doesn’t perform “Hot! Hot! Hot!” at that event—the spectacle of 10,000 people all rushing toward the exit and trampling one another to death is too heart-wrenching. I’m a little less impressed with Little Jordan’s talent: in that brief scene we saw from that movie she did last week, and her v/o last night . . . ummm, she’s really not _all that good_. As for Big Jordan, she’s not all that _bad_, judging from her reading. She’s no Dame Judith Anderson, but she’s as passable as most sitcom actresses. And appearing as an extra in cheesy ho-films are just the dues every actress pays. Did you notice one of the producers visibly _laughing_ at NormaDesmondNutter during their meeting? ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2004, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/showbiz-moms-dads-may-4/243543/19 "2004-05-05T14:20:23Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > Did you notice one of the producers visibly _laughing_ at NormaDesmondNutter during their meeting? I certainly did. Warmed my cockles to know that we’re not the only ones that think he’s a nutbar. ---
**Author:** ![Nutty\_Bunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/d07c76/32.png) [@Nutty\_Bunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nutty_Bunny)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2004, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/showbiz-moms-dads-may-4/243543/20 "2004-05-05T14:24:36Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > Did you notice one of the producers visibly _laughing_ at NormaDesmondNutter during their meeting? That was my favorite moment of the show. Well, that and the “suck off my wife” comment. From the previews, it looks like someone else besides me wants to beat the ever-living f\*ck out of her. Hello?? She _was_ acting like a four year old!! She can’t even bribe very well. She promises to get her a toy, Emily starts crying about whatever it is that 4 year olds cry about, her mother says “No toy for you!”, then proceeds to get her the toy anyway. That’s just rewarding bad behavior (not that Emily was being “bad”, as I truly feel for that child) and it’s bad parenting. That’s just the tip of the iceberg. When she said that she would never spend $500 on anything for herself, I thought, “Lady, this _is_ for you”. Emily even said to her **“I don’t want to do this anymore”** and she ignored her. My husband could only take about 10 minutes of the first show because it makes him angry. It makes my blood boil too, but I like being angry. 😃 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/showbiz-moms-dads-may-4/243543.md?page=2)