# Shup up wiith the "shut up" already **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 7, 2018, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shup-up-wiith-the-shut-up-already/817485 "2018-07-07T19:21:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![octopus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/octopus/32/3716_2.png) [@octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/octopus)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2018, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shup-up-wiith-the-shut-up-already/817485/141 "2018-07-11T02:23:42Z")
> [@expectopatronum](#): > > Oh for fuck’s sake. > > [This](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=686277) is the thread cochrane was referring to. I don’t necessarily find it horrifying myself, it’s just BigT’s usual white knighting bullshit along with some spreading of misinformation to fit the narrative he wants. It’s a sensitive subject because the poster he was defending (Opal) has passed on, but what’s being discussed here really has nothing to do with that part of it so I see no reason not to drop the link if someone feels it’s relevant. > > As for the OP, I had this to say once before about BigT getting made fun of all the time, and it pretty well sums up my take: > > I’d agree more with the bullying charge if it wasn’t for his constant lectures. This is the internet, where everyone is far more willing to say things that they’re too polite to face to face, and when you hang out on a board for years and have meltdowns about mod warnings (and then run over to the much decried by him snark board and try to rally the troops to start email bombing the mods here) (no, really) and tell everyone else how to live when you’ve admitted to being a basement dwelling shut-in, exactly what do you expect? If someone walks into a biker bar and yells out, I don’t fucking know, something that would piss off a bunch of bikers, he’d get his ass kicked, and it would be his own stupid fault. Same thing here. That thread was so horrific that there should be a 3 click rule implemented specifically for it. And a new horrified smilie added. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2018, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shup-up-wiith-the-shut-up-already/817485/142 "2018-07-11T03:18:22Z")
> [@expectopatronum](#): > > You guys sure like to focus on irrelevant details sometimes. Welcome to The Dope! ---
**Author:** ![Fotheringay-Phipps](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/d9b06d/32.png) [@Fotheringay-Phipps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fotheringay-Phipps)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2018, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shup-up-wiith-the-shut-up-already/817485/143 "2018-07-11T14:20:03Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > Disregard them. You know what, though? Disregard **LHoD** , too. You don’t need to please him or try to be like him, either. Say what you have to say and say it how you want to say it. Neither the good nor the bad opinion of the denizens of this board will change your life in any meaningful way. > [@Slash1972](#): > > Hey, I rarely agree with you, but I think you should just be you. Don’t change based on what some people on a message board say. These types of advice are sometimes valid but not always and not for everyone. I can think of a couple of big exceptions, both of which might apply in the specific case of BigT. The first is purely practical, the second is more fundamental. On the practical side, the fact of the matter is that BigT is attracting a lot of hostility. Leaving aside whether that hostility is justified or not, it’s there. And the question is what’s the practical ramification on BigT’s life or at least his enjoyment of this particular MB. This type of thing tends to vary by person, and some people are OK being the targets of MB hostility, and those people can easily take advice to not change and do their thing. But other people are genuinely perturbed at being attacked on MBs, and I get the sense that BigT is in that latter group. Further, that this is magnified by this site being a major social outlet for him (more on that below). He, as everyone else, needs to think practically about this. Even if he believes he’s right and his attackers are all wrong and evil people etc. the bottom line is that they’re there and they’ve been there for a while, and the question is if as a purely practical matter there are things he could do that would alleviate some of the constant hostility. It might make his experience here more pleasant. Or perhaps not, but it’s something to think about, and IMO just pumoping him up with the old “be yourself” mantra is not necessarily in his best interests. The second issue is more fundamental. Fact is that most people have many outlets for social interaction, and therefore have many sources of feedback on their personality and character. This lessens the importance of any one of them, and in the case of MBs in particular there’s reason to think it might be of lesser value than other forms of feedback (“on the internet, no one knows you’re a dog”). So if you’re someone who gets a lot of negative feedback on a MB but who has positive relationships with family, friends, neighbors, work colleagues etc. then you’re in a better position to dismiss the MB as an aberration, especially if you have some explanation which suffices for yourself. (Conversely, if you’re popular on a MB but you have troubled relationships with family etc., then you might want to reassess that tempting notion that the MB is where people see your true self.) But the thing about BigT is that - from what he’s said here - this MB is it for him. He is not getting feedback from other interactions elsewhere. So for him to dismiss the fact that so many people react negatively to his internet persona is a mistake, IMO, because his internet persona is about the only persona he’s presenting to the world and there’s little or nothing to counter the reaction he’s getting here. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2018, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shup-up-wiith-the-shut-up-already/817485/144 "2018-07-11T14:50:30Z")
All of the people giving him advice have people here, and also in real life, who do not like them. Whether **Big T** ever overcomes his issues is of little importance to me. I suspect, however, that focusing on this place and seeking validation from the anonymous strangers here is not the first step towards overcoming those issues. He has many options. Some may improve his lot in life, some may not. Both giving too much weight to what The Mean Girls say and trying to be **LHoD Mk 2** fall into that latter category, IMO. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2018, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shup-up-wiith-the-shut-up-already/817485/145 "2018-07-11T16:14:13Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > You once again use my admission of a mental illness as a way to attack me, erroneously assuming I’ve been a shut in most of my life, and then acting like that means I can’t have an opinion on things and should defer to my “betters.” As others have said, the problem is not the offering of the opinion, but the tone with which you do it. If one consistently comes across like a superior know-it-all, one’s background and credentials become relevant to how people receive it. I’d be annoyed if someone who took one high school physics class condescendingly lectured me in a physics thread, even if the position they took was one also held by experts in the field. As a childless person, I’m quite sure many parents would be annoyed if I gave them a lengthy explanation on the best way to solve a specific behavioral problem and why what they were doing was wrong. Right or wrong, people bristle at being lectured, especially if they know the person doesn’t necessarily have expertise in the area. Of course, at the end of the day you’re under no obligation to give a shit what anyone else thinks of your posting. Some people may simply find you annoying no matter what you do. Tell them to kiss your starfish. ---
**Author:** ![Crazy\_Canuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crazy_canuck/32/5282_2.png) [@Crazy\_Canuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crazy_Canuck)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2018, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shup-up-wiith-the-shut-up-already/817485/146 "2018-07-11T16:18:18Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > Never denied that sometimes I can be an asshole. IDGAF if you’re an asshole, it’s the pit, we’re all assholes here. I called you out for being a fucking hypocrite. The pure rank hypocrisy of calling someone solely out for using a word that you used two months ago needed to be pointed out, addressed, and mocked. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2018, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shup-up-wiith-the-shut-up-already/817485/147 "2018-07-11T16:20:06Z")
> [@Crazy\_Canuck](#): > > IDGAF if you’re an asshole, it’s the pit, we’re all assholes here. I called you out for being a fucking hypocrite. The pure rank hypocrisy of calling someone solely out for using a word that you used two months ago needed to be pointed out, addressed, and mocked. Cool. Seriously, I think it’s a shit word to use. I used it, I shouldna. The end. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2018, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shup-up-wiith-the-shut-up-already/817485/148 "2018-07-11T16:33:16Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > Tell them to kiss your starfish. I was unaware BigT maintained a saltwater aquarium. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2018, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shup-up-wiith-the-shut-up-already/817485/149 "2018-07-11T18:25:48Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > I was unaware BigT maintained a saltwater aquarium. Not surprising considering that the great bulk of your experience relates to bong water. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2018, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shup-up-wiith-the-shut-up-already/817485/150 "2018-07-11T18:59:42Z")
Go lick your balls, **Scumpup**. I say we do away with the BigT phrase and replace it with this. ---
**Author:** ![Slash1972](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slash1972/32/6461_2.png) [@Slash1972](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slash1972)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2018, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shup-up-wiith-the-shut-up-already/817485/151 "2018-07-11T19:00:50Z")
Wouldn’t saying “Go lick your balls, **Scumpup** ” to every poster get confusing? ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2018, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shup-up-wiith-the-shut-up-already/817485/152 "2018-07-11T19:03:23Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Go lick your balls, **Scumpup**. > > I say we do away with the BigT phrase and replace it with this. I don’t place much stock in the opinions of a guy who hasn’t had a non-chemically altered week of his life in years. You aren’t morally wrong to be a stoner, you just aren’t someone whose opinion matters to me any more than the mutterings of the wetbrains at the halfway house down the street. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2018, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shup-up-wiith-the-shut-up-already/817485/153 "2018-07-11T20:45:25Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > I don’t place much stock in the opinions of a guy who hasn’t had a non-chemically altered week of his life in years. You aren’t morally wrong to be a stoner, you just aren’t someone whose opinion matters to me any more than the mutterings of the wetbrains at the halfway house down the street. Ah, there’s that signature Scumpup classiness. ---
**Author:** ![octopus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/octopus/32/3716_2.png) [@octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/octopus)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2018, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shup-up-wiith-the-shut-up-already/817485/154 "2018-07-11T20:55:18Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > Ah, there’s that signature Scumpup classiness. Hey, what’s with wanting classiness in the Pit? I don’t seem to recall you ever advocating the avoidance of vileness at those you disagree with or aren’t one of your sycophants. Why the hypocrisy? ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2018, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shup-up-wiith-the-shut-up-already/817485/155 "2018-07-11T21:31:46Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > Ah, there’s that signature Scumpup classiness. I also don’t have much regard for the opinion of an enabler of trolls. Once upon a time, when you were a mod here, you had a certain coolth of your own. That was…a while ago. ---
**Author:** ![bucketybuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/898d66/32.png) [@bucketybuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bucketybuck)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2018, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shup-up-wiith-the-shut-up-already/817485/156 "2018-07-11T22:54:17Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > Not going to do a long lecture since y’all hate those. But, **expecto** , dude. You just said that people deserve to be beat up for their speech. You once again use my admission of a mental illness as a way to attack me, erroneously assuming I’ve been a shut in most of my life, and then acting like that means I can’t have an opinion on things and should defer to my “betters.” > > I am trying to fix my own faults, but surely y’all can give me a pass for finding that bullshit disgusting. I am a human being. Treat me like the other human beings on this board. **If I’m wrong, prove me wrong!** If you want to call me names while you do it, fine. But all garbage like this does is make me think your complaints are bullshit. That’s why I don’t tend to “take complaints about my posting under advisement.” > > Just like telling me “shut up” makes me think of you [like this](https://gifimage.net/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/fingers-in-ears-gif-1.gif). > [@BigT](#): > > On the other hand, I will now take LHOD’s claim that I come on too strong and don’t (appear to) consider the other side under advisement. Granted, I’ve tried taking advice before, and it didn’t work, but LHOD is decent folk and seems to be trying to help. > > Though I do note that I’m not the only one who posts like that, but I’m the one that gets singled out. Again, that’s part of the reason I have a hard time taking advice on the situation. Please change your username to **BigI**. Or **BigMe** , that would be accurate also. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2018, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shup-up-wiith-the-shut-up-already/817485/157 "2018-07-11T23:09:23Z")
> [@octopus](#): > > Hey, what’s with wanting classiness in the Pit? I don’t seem to recall you ever advocating the avoidance of vileness at those you disagree with or aren’t one of your sycophants. Why the hypocrisy? It’s hard to remember things that happened years and years before you joined the board. ---
**Author:** ![octopus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/octopus/32/3716_2.png) [@octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/octopus)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2018, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shup-up-wiith-the-shut-up-already/817485/158 "2018-07-11T23:18:43Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > It’s hard to remember things that happened years and years before you joined the board. That is a fair point. However, due to the nature of the written word I don’t need to remember. I can read and learn from the past. If I see things that correct my current perception then I’ll change my viewpoint in light of my awareness of the new facts. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2018, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shup-up-wiith-the-shut-up-already/817485/159 "2018-07-11T23:22:41Z")
> [@octopus](#): > > That is a fair point. However, due to the nature of the written word I don’t need to remember. I can read and learn from the past. If I see things that correct my current perception then I’ll change my viewpoint in light of my awareness of the new facts. That’s hilarious. You seem like exactly the sort of thoughtful and introspective person who would read over a decade of old threads to get a feel for a place before making a free account. It’s a very plausible story. ---
**Author:** ![octopus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/octopus/32/3716_2.png) [@octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/octopus)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2018, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shup-up-wiith-the-shut-up-already/817485/160 "2018-07-11T23:32:42Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > That’s hilarious. You seem like exactly the sort of thoughtful and introspective person who would read over a decade of old threads to get a feel for a place before making a free account. It’s a very plausible story. Morgenstern hijack your account? Where’s that guy anyways. He’s been awfully quiet and that’s out of character. Hopefully the opioids or whatever haven’t claimed another one. But your insinuation that I am a so-called sock? With the love that more than one mod has demonstrated towards me if there were _any_ evidence that your insinuation was accurate, instead of a knowingly false attack, they would have acted upon that knowledge. Reading the written word is so hard! It’s beyond ridiculous to think that one would have to be a caveman to know about dinosaurs. I also think it’s funny and it further proves my point about your narcissistic desire for obsequiousness and sycophants that just because I disagree with the liberal hive mind and B) am not at all susceptible to your preferred method of control via social ostracism and bullying to be silenced or cowed that I lack intellect. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shup-up-wiith-the-shut-up-already/817485.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shup-up-wiith-the-shut-up-already/817485.md?page=9)