# SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!!!!!! I'm tryin' to take care of "Business" here!!! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 18, 2002, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-the-fuck-up-im-tryin-to-take-care-of-business-here/119533 "2002-07-18T03:13:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![WSLer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a6a055/32.png) [@WSLer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WSLer)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2002, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-the-fuck-up-im-tryin-to-take-care-of-business-here/119533/1 "2002-07-18T03:13:54Z")
**SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!** :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: Let’s get a few things straight pal: 1. The mens room at work is **NOT** a fucking social club. I have less then NO interest in anything you have to say to me. My complete and utter lack of interest is actually a VERY large negative number. 2. When I’m in the stall next to you, DO NOT strike up a conversation with me. **JUST DON’T.** To me, the bathroom is a place where “business” is conducted and since I dont talk to myself or call out to the neighbors when I’m taking a dump at home, I see no reason to be sociable when doing the same thing at work. Plus, it’s **REALLY** hard to keep up a conversation when every 3rd word is drowned out either by the sound of your latest machine gun like farting or the sound of one of your “depth charges” splashing home. Just **SHUT THE FUCK UP** , do your “business” and we can talk when we are back at our actual work are. PS. **DO NOT** look at me when we are both standing at the urinals. Look anywhere else, the wall in front of you, the urinal itself, down the bridge of your nose, just don’t slide your eyes in my direction. ---
**Author:** ![techchick68](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ea5d25/32.png) [@techchick68](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/techchick68)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2002, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-the-fuck-up-im-tryin-to-take-care-of-business-here/119533/2 "2002-07-18T04:32:17Z")
You know what? I don’t care. ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2002, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-the-fuck-up-im-tryin-to-take-care-of-business-here/119533/3 "2002-07-18T04:43:04Z")
And I join in saying I don’t give a damn either. ---
**Author:** ![techchick68](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ea5d25/32.png) [@techchick68](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/techchick68)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2002, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-the-fuck-up-im-tryin-to-take-care-of-business-here/119533/4 "2002-07-18T04:45:43Z")
Good LORD, Hastur and I agree on something? \< shakes Hastur’s hand…nice to finally meet you \> ---
**Author:** ![baltotop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f19dbf/32.png) [@baltotop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/baltotop)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2002, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-the-fuck-up-im-tryin-to-take-care-of-business-here/119533/5 "2002-07-18T04:54:42Z")
I agree with the no talking between stalls. But if some guy wants to look my way when im at the urinal and check me out then thats fine with me…\*Maybe he’s interested. \* 😉 Also some guys do that to compare or just cant look in one direction. My 2 Cents…Baltotop ---
**Author:** ![misstee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/958977/32.png) [@misstee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/misstee)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2002, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-the-fuck-up-im-tryin-to-take-care-of-business-here/119533/6 "2002-07-18T05:46:18Z")
funny-- b/c all the good conversations happen in the womens bathroom 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![TommyTutone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c4cdca/32.png) [@TommyTutone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TommyTutone)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2002, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-the-fuck-up-im-tryin-to-take-care-of-business-here/119533/7 "2002-07-18T13:48:50Z")
How do you know he’s looking at you… UNLESS YOU ARE LOOKING AT HIM!!! So really, are you a homophobe, or just really insecure about your penis size? (it used to freak me out too, but then I grew up) ---
**Author:** ![WSLer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a6a055/32.png) [@WSLer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WSLer)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2002, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-the-fuck-up-im-tryin-to-take-care-of-business-here/119533/8 "2002-07-18T20:27:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by LlamaPoet \* > \*\*So really, are you a homophobe, or just really insecure about your penis size? (it used to freak me out too, but then I grew up) \*\* Well, it was a semi-admirable try on your part, using the two pronged “there’s no way you can answer this without looking like a fool” question, but I’m way beyond that Groucho Marx crap, thanks. ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2002, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-the-fuck-up-im-tryin-to-take-care-of-business-here/119533/9 "2002-07-18T23:52:34Z")
I love drunken ladies room bar conversations. They usually start with a teary “THAT BASTARD!” followed by a 10 minute therapy session, or some other bizzaro advice needing situation. This used to happen all the time at one particular bar I frequented, and it never ceased to crack me up. Zette ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2002, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-the-fuck-up-im-tryin-to-take-care-of-business-here/119533/10 "2002-07-19T00:17:35Z")
Next time someone tries to talk to you while you’re in the stall, stand up, grad a turd out of the bowl, and lob it at them from under the stall wall. I guarantee they won’t talk to you any more. ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2002, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-the-fuck-up-im-tryin-to-take-care-of-business-here/119533/11 "2002-07-19T01:18:09Z")
Well, looks like someone had a rough time toilet training. ---
**Author:** ![Swampwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8edcca/32.png) [@Swampwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swampwolf)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2002, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-the-fuck-up-im-tryin-to-take-care-of-business-here/119533/12 "2002-07-19T14:02:07Z")
I’m with the OP here. There are very few things in my life that I want to do in solitude. Excretion tops the list. I always thought that was one of the primary Mars/Venus differences. Women go into the bathroom together to talk shit about men. Men go into the bathroom alone to shit. And as for the urinal? AFAIK, there are three widely accepted (I can’t call them unwritten) rules: 1. if there are enough urinals that you can leave an empty one between you and the next pisser over, do so. If there isn’t, take a stall. 2. there is a spot between four and five inches above the urinal, right there on the wall. Stare at it until it’s time to zip back up and flush. 3. throat clearing, belching, farting and humming are acceptable. Striking up a conversation with a stranger who has his dick in his hand is not. ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2002, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-the-fuck-up-im-tryin-to-take-care-of-business-here/119533/13 "2002-07-19T15:58:20Z")
**blessedwolf** , have to disagree on #1, if you can leave a space between you and another pisser, do so, if you can’t it is then acceptable to take the adjacent urinal. The idea that I must take the stall just to avoid peeing next to another guy is a bit much. #2, A quick glance (eye contact only) is acceptable, but you should basically keep to yourself. #3 A very light conversation between friends is not too bad, perhaps a “what’s up?”, “hey there” “you see the game last night?” type of thing. Deep conversations are right out. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2002, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-the-fuck-up-im-tryin-to-take-care-of-business-here/119533/14 "2002-07-19T16:11:15Z")
I don’t think it’s necessarily an internalized homophobia thang. If it were, I would be able to use a urinal next to someone else. I’m just pee-shy, okay?! ---
**Author:** ![belladonna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9fc29f/32.png) [@belladonna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/belladonna)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2002, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-the-fuck-up-im-tryin-to-take-care-of-business-here/119533/15 "2002-07-19T16:22:24Z")
Hey now, I’m a female and I **HATE** bathroom chit-chat. Sometimes I end up getting the lights shut off on me in the washroom at work because as soon as someone comes in I go still and silent. They leave thinking it’s empty and I’m left sitting in the dark. That’s okay by me though, it’s better than being forced to listen to someone talk about what they made for dessert last night while you try to pretend they don’t exist. Leave me alone, you potty prattling FREAKS! bella ---
**Author:** ![Swampwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8edcca/32.png) [@Swampwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swampwolf)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2002, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-the-fuck-up-im-tryin-to-take-care-of-business-here/119533/16 "2002-07-19T16:32:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Cheesesteak \* > The idea that I must take the stall just to avoid peeing next to another guy is a bit much. I can see your point. I just feel that my “personal space bubble” invariably extends an extra 2 feet when I’ve got my pants undone.\* I used to work in a place where the restroom was 2 urinals, 2 stalls. S.O.P. was that if one urinal was being used, the second person would take a stall, mainly because you couldn’t zip up without jostling the guy next to you otherwise. I had a boss who didn’t bother using a stall. General consesnus among the guys there was that this was…not quite creepy, but almost. [sub]\*except, of course, when Mister Happy goes spelunking (which could be a very misleading children’s book title), in which case the concept of “personal space” goes right out the window.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2002, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-the-fuck-up-im-tryin-to-take-care-of-business-here/119533/17 "2002-07-19T23:32:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by belladonna \* > Sometimes I end up getting the lights shut off on me in the washroom at work because as soon as someone comes in I go still and silent. **bella** , I’m picturing you like a submarine in _Hunt For Red October_ or something like that. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2002, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-the-fuck-up-im-tryin-to-take-care-of-business-here/119533/18 "2002-07-19T23:36:13Z")
> [@](#): > > Next time someone tries to talk to you while you’re in the stall, stand up, grad a turd out of the bowl, and lob it at them from under the stall wall. If shit-flinging is good enough for primates, it’s good enough for us humans, dagnammit! ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2002, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-the-fuck-up-im-tryin-to-take-care-of-business-here/119533/19 "2002-07-20T00:24:38Z")
Many a time I’ve been told by a number of my elderly male relatives that “The only talking you need to do in the can is to tell the dude in the next stall over to do a courtesy flush.” ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2002, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-the-fuck-up-im-tryin-to-take-care-of-business-here/119533/20 "2002-07-20T00:58:22Z")
Question for those of you who don’t use adjoining urinals: does this also apply if there are dividers between the urinals? The bathrooms at my office have knee-to-shoulder height mini-walls that effectively put each urinal in its own space, which seem to me to provide adequate privacy. (Of course, I have no problem using adjoining urinals in the first place, although I usually only do so if it’s the only one available. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-the-fuck-up-im-tryin-to-take-care-of-business-here/119533.md?page=2)