# Shut the fucking fuck up, ESPN.com
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-the-fucking-fuck-up-espn-com/365368
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [July 20, 2006, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-the-fucking-fuck-up-espn-com/365368 "2006-07-20T17:39:32Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Hippy\_Hollow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hippy_Hollow)
#### Post date: [July 20, 2006, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-the-fucking-fuck-up-espn-com/365368/1 "2006-07-20T17:39:32Z")
I have a list of “Daily Tabs” - about 15 websites that I fire up when I open my web browser when I get to the computer. [ESPN.com](http://ESPN.com) is one of those. I’ve been annoyed by [ESPN.com](http://ESPN.com) for some time, with their “Insider” subscription service. It isn’t enough that ESPN watchers pay for the fuckin’ service?
Yesterday, though, I’m in my office, and my computer starts bellowing “ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION DOESN’T NEED TO BE A PROBLEM!” Instantly I thought the spirit of Enzyte Bob jumped into the CPU; turns out that ESPN has a feature called “ESPN Motion” that decides to play commercials and news stories when it fucking feels like doing so. No, it’s not a case of clicking on a link - it just plays because, you know, what ESPN has to say can’t be delayed by a mouse click!!!
I have no problem with a default setting that can be turned off, but what the fuck? Most of us have pop-up blockers to defeat that annoyance… is this the next level? I don’t really want to have boner pills hawked to me (imagine if I had opened the tabs in the library or at work?) so ESPN is off my daily tabs. Hello, [SI.com](http://SI.com) (although your server is way too slow)!
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### Author:  [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)
#### Post date: [July 20, 2006, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-the-fucking-fuck-up-espn-com/365368/2 "2006-07-20T17:41:32Z")
This has been a pain in the ass for me as well. For whatever reason, it hasn’t done that to me recently. I thought they had wised up. I guess not.
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### Author:  [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)
#### Post date: [July 20, 2006, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-the-fucking-fuck-up-espn-com/365368/3 "2006-07-20T17:41:32Z")
[espn.com](http://espn.com) annoys the crap out of me. I gave them up a while ago. My favorite is [sportsline.com](http://sportsline.com) which is the site for CBS. Give them a look.
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### Author:  [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)
#### Post date: [July 20, 2006, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-the-fucking-fuck-up-espn-com/365368/4 "2006-07-20T17:43:38Z")
Yep, I switched to [cbs.sportsline.com](http://cbs.sportsline.com) because of espn’s ads and videos.
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### Author:  [@The\_Unkempt\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Unkempt_One)
#### Post date: [July 20, 2006, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-the-fucking-fuck-up-espn-com/365368/5 "2006-07-20T17:59:34Z")
It would be impossible for me to agree more with your post!
I always used to check [ESPN.com](http://ESPN.com) in the morning before I went to work, prior to my wife getting out of bed and my dogs waking up. The first time it started blaring some sports-related news story at me through my computer speakers at 5:30 in the morning was the last time I went to [ESPN.com](http://ESPN.com) before I went to work.
I haven’t really played around with the [ESPN.com](http://ESPN.com) since then. I wonder if there is some way to turn off that feature? I hope there is, otherwise I may never view [ESPN.com](http://ESPN.com) again from home.
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### Author:  [@saoirse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saoirse)
#### Post date: [July 20, 2006, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-the-fucking-fuck-up-espn-com/365368/6 "2006-07-20T18:05:44Z")
I know it’s completely irrational, but I feel like my sound card is sacrosanct. It should never be used without my express permission.
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### Author:  [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)
#### Post date: [July 20, 2006, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-the-fucking-fuck-up-espn-com/365368/7 "2006-07-20T18:09:02Z")
“HieverybodyTreyWingoheretotellyouthatMobilESPN—”
That’s about as far as he gets before I stop it. And I haven’t found a way to turn it off.
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### Author:  [@Mayo\_Speaks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mayo_Speaks)
#### Post date: [July 20, 2006, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-the-fucking-fuck-up-espn-com/365368/8 "2006-07-20T18:11:53Z")
Fuck yes! If Trey Wingo tells me one more time about ESPN Mobile, I’m going to Connecticut to Trey _his_ Wingo. And not in the good way. I hate the insider thing, the flash “Spotlight” on the front page that doesn’t tell whether or not the stories are insider only and doesn’t let me open links in a new tab/window, the complete lack of coherent organization, etc.
The Insider fature deserves special ire. Paul Shirley has a hilarious blog, but if you want to read more than two entries, you have to subscribe to ESPN’s moronic magazine. Same goes for Bill Simmons fantastic column. Fuck that. That’s why I’ve begun saving the pages to my harddrive before they go into the archive. Screw you, ESPN!
Mayo
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### Author:  [@TJdude825](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TJdude825)
#### Post date: [July 20, 2006, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-the-fucking-fuck-up-espn-com/365368/9 "2006-07-20T18:32:30Z")
> [@saoirse](#):
>
> I know it’s completely irrational, but I feel like my sound card is sacrosanct. It should never be used without my express permission.
I sort of feel that way about bandwidth. There will always be advertising on the internet, and I accept that, but I feel slightly offended when a website wants to take up my bandwidth making me download anything more than a couple KB of video or flash that I didn’t ask for.
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### Author:  [@brianjedi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brianjedi)
#### Post date: [July 20, 2006, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-the-fucking-fuck-up-espn-com/365368/10 "2006-07-20T19:22:48Z")
If you’re using Firefox, just Adblock the Motion stuff (or use Flashblock to keep it from loading.)
My complaint with the Worldwide Leader’s website is how everything is now part of “Insider” coverage. They have no problem filling 7 hours a day with opinions and screaming over on the network, so why lock all the opinion content and columns up on the website? I don’t want to subscribe to your magazine, ESPN.
And ESPN should be covering MMA. If they’re going to keep updating boxing matches of less than earth-shattering importance on SportsCenter, why not UFC bouts?
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### Author:  [@Hippy\_Hollow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hippy_Hollow)
#### Post date: [July 20, 2006, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-the-fucking-fuck-up-espn-com/365368/11 "2006-07-20T20:08:31Z")
the fuck’s going on with ESPN personalities?
I’m in another room and the TV is barely audibly on. Suddenly, I hear Kenny Mayne yelling, “Yeah, I’m the guy who didn’t save on lot on my insurance!” Seriously, it was about eight times as loud as the commercials before and after it.
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### Author:  [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)
#### Post date: [July 20, 2006, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-the-fucking-fuck-up-espn-com/365368/12 "2006-07-20T20:18:24Z")
> [@brianjedi](#):
>
> If you’re using Firefox, just Adblock the Motion stuff (or use Flashblock to keep it from loading.)
I second this, at least about Flashblock. I DESPISE when a website has an audio ad that just starts playing. I think flashblock took care of all my regular sites that do that.
The people responsible for web pages that automatically play audio on page load need to beaten severely.
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### Author:  [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)
#### Post date: [July 20, 2006, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-the-fucking-fuck-up-espn-com/365368/13 "2006-07-20T20:53:09Z")
I’m with you fellers. [ESPN.com](http://ESPN.com) is poorly designed, and if you’re not an “Insider,” forget getting anything but scores and schedules. I’ve been using [SI.com](http://SI.com) but I’ll check out the CBS site too.
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### Author:  [@Constipated\_Mathematician](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Constipated_Mathematician)
#### Post date: [July 20, 2006, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-the-fucking-fuck-up-espn-com/365368/14 "2006-07-20T23:16:48Z")
A well-deserved pitting.
There are so many things to pit ESPN on, however. I find your pitting to be remarkably restrained.
ESPN has become one big commercial. If you’ve ever listened to Mike and Mike (or any of their radio programming), they spend more time per hour trying to sell you their services (Oooooh! Be an ESPN Insider!), their damn phone (I’ll never be buying your phone! STFU!) or a gazillion other products/crap that you don’t want or need. EVERYTHING is for sale. EVERYTHING is sponsored. Uncle, you money whores!
The sad thing is, it must work. And there must be a hundred billion phones on back order. I’m just afraid it will be that greasy freak on the commercials, hanging out outside the ESPN headquarters.
I haven’t been to [espn.com](http://espn.com) in ages, and usually look at [foxsports.com](http://foxsports.com) or [cbs.sportsline.com](http://cbs.sportsline.com).
ESPN is actully getting to a point of oversaturation. If there was a decent substitute out there, I think a bunch of us would abandon it forever. (FTR, I thought they were AT oversaturation with ESPN2, but they also have ESPN News, ESPN Classic, and inane programs like Stump the Schwab.)
Poker? Darts? When does it end? AUGH!
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### Author:  [@Raygun99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raygun99)
#### Post date: [July 21, 2006, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-the-fucking-fuck-up-espn-com/365368/15 "2006-07-21T00:02:03Z")
> [@Constipated Mathematician](#):
>
> The sad thing is, it must work. And there must be a hundred billion phones on back order. I’m just afraid it will be that greasy freak on the commercials, hanging out outside the ESPN headquarters.
Thery’re doing it because they’re desperate. ESPN Mobile is [flopping](http://www.mediaweek.com/mw/news/recent_display.jsp?vnu_content_id=1002876073) to a miserable extent.
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### Author:  [@BabaBooey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BabaBooey)
#### Post date: [July 21, 2006, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-the-fucking-fuck-up-espn-com/365368/16 "2006-07-21T01:19:18Z")
I got Insider just for Bill Simmon’s archive. I’m not impressed with Foxsports’ NFL section (great NBA, though), and CBS is mediocre. [ProFootballTalk.com](http://ProFootballTalk.com) is probably my favorite, but it’s mostly news, not articles and whatnot. CNNSI is good, but one sports site isn’t enough to quench my thirst, so I find myself using Insider fairly often. It’s decent enough to not make me feel as if my money has been wasted, but the ads certainly annoy the hell out of me.
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### Author:  [@Constipated\_Mathematician](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Constipated_Mathematician)
#### Post date: [July 21, 2006, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-the-fucking-fuck-up-espn-com/365368/17 "2006-07-21T14:48:21Z")
> [@Raygun99](#):
>
> Thery’re doing it because they’re desperate. ESPN Mobile is [flopping](http://www.mediaweek.com/mw/news/recent_display.jsp?vnu_content_id=1002876073) to a miserable extent.
Sweet! 😃
That’s the best ESPN news I’ve read in a long time.
Perhaps the World Wide Leader could finally lose one. We could only be so lucky.
I love this pit thread, simply because they are so pit-worthy. Sadly, though, since local news has removed the sport segment, my only option to quickly get scores is on ESPN. I will continue to go anywhere BUT ESPN on the web, but they are my only real option on television.
PS. To the wanks running ESPN, there are baseball teams NOT called the NY Yankees and the Boston Red Sox. I know it’s all ratings and ratings = money, but let it go already.
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### Author:  [@Mince](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mince)
#### Post date: [July 21, 2006, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-the-fucking-fuck-up-espn-com/365368/18 "2006-07-21T21:41:51Z")
If you’re in it merely for the scores:
> **[CBS Sports - News, Live Scores, Schedules, Fantasy Games, Video and more.](https://www.cbssports.com/)**
>
> CBS Sports features live scoring, news, stats, and player info for NFL football, MLB baseball, NBA basketball, NHL hockey, college basketball and football.
I get in, check scores, get out.
If you’re in it for the comprehensive, in-depth, expert analysis:
May god save you.
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### Author:  [@borschevsky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/borschevsky)
#### Post date: [July 21, 2006, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-the-fucking-fuck-up-espn-com/365368/19 "2006-07-21T22:58:45Z")
Totally agreed on the pitting. Automatic audio has got to be the most annoying thing there is about this stuff. And it’s too bad, since there’s stuff I like to read at espn, like Bill Simmons’ column. So all their ads are doing is making me bookmark his page directly, rather than ever looking at the front page. And now I check my golf scores at the CBS sportsline site.
I wonder if they realize how bothersome this is to people. To me it’s roughly the auditory equivalent to the web site emitting a smell of hot garbage.
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### Author:  [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)
#### Post date: [July 22, 2006, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-the-fucking-fuck-up-espn-com/365368/20 "2006-07-22T00:54:20Z")
> [@Constipated Mathematician](#):
>
> A well-deserved pitting.
>
> There are so many things to pit ESPN on, however. I find your pitting to be remarkably restrained.
>
> ESPN has become one big commercial.
Ditto! I think ESPN is becoming the sports equivalent of MTV as something so lacking in sophistication and depth you inevitably outgrow it. I still watch their football coverage because they have video of almost every game, but I sure as hell wish I didn’t have to. I plan to buy NFL Sunday ticket as soon as I can. Chris Berman’s schtick was irritating by the late 90s, and all the other hosts just compete to see who can be the most inane. Sometimes I think the producers must’ve really flipped and think we tune in because ESPN is _so cool_, and not to just watch sports. I mean, selling their own cell phone service? Why the fuck would I buy that?! :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:
As for websites, I started reading [si.com](http://si.com) and never left. I checked [espn.com](http://espn.com) once, and found the writing, at least, it is to [si.com](http://si.com) as my third-grade art project is to the Statue of Liberty.
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