# Shut up and go to sleep, stupid bird **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 13, 2006, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-up-and-go-to-sleep-stupid-bird/352522 "2006-04-13T14:25:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Eleanor\_of\_Aquitaine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Eleanor\_of\_Aquitaine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eleanor_of_Aquitaine)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2006, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-up-and-go-to-sleep-stupid-bird/352522/1 "2006-04-13T14:25:35Z")
We’re having splendid weather right now, perfect for leaving the windows open all day and all night. Except there is a stupid bird in my backyard that sings all freaking night long and keeps me awake. Every other bird for miles around is asleep. There isn’t a sound in the neighborhood except for this one insanely loud, cheerful bird. This bird is thrilled to be alive. It’s not a steady, repetitive chirping that you can tune out. It’s a joyous, constantly varying song, and I absolutely cannot fall asleep while he’s at it. I feel trapped in my house by this bird. It’s crazy to turn on air conditioning in April when there is perfectly cool, free air outside. Even with the windows closed I can hear him, but it’s muted enough that I can sleep. ---
**Author:** ![romansperson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/romansperson/32/17100_2.png) [@romansperson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/romansperson)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2006, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-up-and-go-to-sleep-stupid-bird/352522/2 "2006-04-13T14:34:34Z")
It’s a mockingbird. They are insanely territorial and will sing whenever they feel they need to, to warn other birds away. You could try earplugs, I guess, but I’d find it easier to just close the windows if it was that bad. I actually enjoy hearing the birds sing, though, even if they wake me up. I’m weird that way. ---
**Author:** ![Seven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Seven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seven)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2006, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-up-and-go-to-sleep-stupid-bird/352522/3 "2006-04-13T14:42:43Z")
Can you get your hands on some DDT 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Stark\_Raven\_Mad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Stark\_Raven\_Mad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stark_Raven_Mad)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2006, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-up-and-go-to-sleep-stupid-bird/352522/4 "2006-04-13T14:50:40Z")
> [@Eleanor of Aquitaine](#): > > We’re having splendid weather right now, perfect for leaving the windows open all day and all night. Except there is a stupid bird in my backyard that sings all freaking night long and keeps me awake. > > Every other bird for miles around is asleep. There isn’t a sound in the neighborhood except for this one insanely loud, cheerful bird. This bird is thrilled to be alive. It’s not a steady, repetitive chirping that you can tune out. It’s a joyous, constantly varying song, and I absolutely cannot fall asleep while he’s at it. > > I feel trapped in my house by this bird. It’s crazy to turn on air conditioning in April when there is perfectly cool, free air outside. Even with the windows closed I can hear him, but it’s muted enough that I can sleep. Americano, yes? Fetch your piece and shoot the little bastard. Just make sure you can get to the body. Two years ago there was a family of some kind of bird that decided to hang out on the clothes rack built into the outside of our apartment building, right outside our dining room. My brother went nuts with one of my airsoft rifles, but one of the carcasses got lodged between two air-conditioning pipes about three or four floors below us. Took about a month before it started to really smell, and an extra week before we managed to get someone from the management to send a janitor with a long stick to get rid of it. Moral of the story: if you kill something, make sure it’s in a place where you can reach the body after the deed. ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2006, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-up-and-go-to-sleep-stupid-bird/352522/5 "2006-04-13T14:51:34Z")
Funny to see this thread. This morning my wife and eldest daughter both complained about some “stupid bird” that started calling its head off at 4:30 a.m. They decided that the full moon was setting right around there, and the idiot must have thought the setting moon (or its reflection off the huge white wall of the new McMansion to our east) was the sunrise. My wife claims the bird finally shut up, and when the sun started to show a hour later, it sounded all hoarse! Of course, I slept like a blissful babe through it all. ---
**Author:** ![Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amazon_Floozy_Goddess)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2006, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-up-and-go-to-sleep-stupid-bird/352522/6 "2006-04-13T16:29:32Z")
Your story made me remember the first time I went camping. I was about 10 and I was rudely awakened at about 5:30 am by a bird right beside my head, outside the tent, going _Beep_ _Beep_ _Beep_ This continued for about an hour. I thought I was going to lose my mind. Finally I decided to try something. Slowly I reached out and touched the side of the vinyl tent, where the bird’s shadow was. The wall went **crinkle** And the bird went **BEEPBEEPBEEP!** And flew away. I fell back asleep, only to be awoken a half hour later. He had returned. With about 6 friends. Beeping. ---
**Author:** ![romansperson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/romansperson/32/17100_2.png) [@romansperson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/romansperson)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2006, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-up-and-go-to-sleep-stupid-bird/352522/7 "2006-04-13T16:38:59Z")
> [@Stark Raven Mad](#): > > Americano, yes? Fetch your piece and shoot the little bastard. Just make sure you can get to the body. It’s illegal to shoot migratory songbirds in the U.S. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2006, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-up-and-go-to-sleep-stupid-bird/352522/8 "2006-04-13T16:44:43Z")
Our cheerful morning avian is a pilated woodpecker(head) that’s convinced tasty insects reside in our metal gutters. ---
**Author:** ![Lionne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Lionne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lionne)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2006, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-up-and-go-to-sleep-stupid-bird/352522/9 "2006-04-13T16:51:27Z")
Sorry, I laughed at your predicament. I live with several birds and every morning is a whistling and singing and trilling fest, but at least they know enough to hush at night. ---
**Author:** ![teela\_brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@teela\_brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teela_brown)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2006, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-up-and-go-to-sleep-stupid-bird/352522/10 "2006-04-13T18:13:04Z")
It’s a robin with us. Perched right outside our bedroom window in a sycamore. At 4:00 a.m. Wee-oop. Wee-eep. Wee-oop. Wee-eep. Weet! Wee-oop. Wee-eep. Wee-oop. Wee-eep. Weet! Wee-oop. Wee-eep. Wee-oop. Wee-eep. Weet! Wee-oop. Wee-eep. Wee-oop. Wee-eep. Weet! Wee-oop. Wee-eep. Wee-oop. Wee-eep. Weet! Wee-oop. Wee-eep. Wee-oop. Wee-eep. Weet! You’d think the late, constant and heavy spring rains would dampen his enthusiasm, but I guess territorial nesting urge is pretty waterproof. ---
**Author:** ![Eleanor\_of\_Aquitaine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Eleanor\_of\_Aquitaine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eleanor_of_Aquitaine)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2006, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-up-and-go-to-sleep-stupid-bird/352522/11 "2006-04-13T18:28:08Z")
> [@Stark Raven Mad](#): > > Americano, yes? Fetch your piece and shoot the little bastard. Just make sure you can get to the body. Yes, I’m American and Southern to boot, so there are an assortment of firearms in the house, none of which are suitable for shooting at a songbird in the middle of a neighborhood. My husband, who sleeps like a rock and wouldn’t be bothered by a flock of birds perched on the footboard of the bed but who is tired of hearing me complain, has volunteered to procure a pellet gun and shoot all the mockingbirds he can see in the backyard. Sigh. I’m going to wuss out at actually killing it, though. ---
**Author:** ![YaWanna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/bbce88/32.png) [@YaWanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YaWanna)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2006, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-up-and-go-to-sleep-stupid-bird/352522/12 "2006-04-13T18:37:46Z")
When I saw the title, I immediately sympathized - every spring, as soon as the sun is within 30 minutes of coming up, the birds used to drive me insane with their chirping. I’m a very light sleeper, and they always woke me up before my alarm, which is guaranteed to make me cranky. My problem was solved when we got new windows, as they keep the sound down. But you want to be able to keep your windows open - good luck and my sympathies. ---
**Author:** ![Muskrat\_Monroe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cdc98d/32.png) [@Muskrat\_Monroe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muskrat_Monroe)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2006, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-up-and-go-to-sleep-stupid-bird/352522/13 "2006-04-13T18:56:18Z")
“Shoot all the bluejays you want, if you can hit 'em, but remember it’s a sin to kill a mockingbird.” ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2006, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-up-and-go-to-sleep-stupid-bird/352522/14 "2006-04-13T20:24:45Z")
> [@Muskrat Monroe](#): > > “Shoot all the bluejays you want, if you can hit 'em, but remember it’s a sin to kill a mockingbird.” [Homer Simpson]“I promised myself never to read again, when To Kill a Mockingbird gave me no useful information about killing Mockingbirds.”[/Homer] ---
**Author:** ![LiveOnAPlane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3d9bf3/32.png) [@LiveOnAPlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LiveOnAPlane)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2006, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-up-and-go-to-sleep-stupid-bird/352522/15 "2006-04-13T22:42:22Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > Our cheerful morning avian is a pilated woodpecker(head) that’s convinced tasty insects reside in our metal gutters. Damn, that would be hilarious if it hadn’t happened to us, too! The first time it happened, I went out with a gun, thinking burly men with jackhammers on my roof/gutter were not protected migratory birds. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2006, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-up-and-go-to-sleep-stupid-bird/352522/16 "2006-04-14T00:35:06Z")
When I’m camping, I love the “dawn chorus”, but the mockingbird singing away outside _ **my** _ bedroom window at 0-dark-30 makes me wish I had a BB gun. ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2006, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-up-and-go-to-sleep-stupid-bird/352522/17 "2006-04-14T02:07:58Z")
Y’know what? I remember the little buggers from when I lived stateside. I’m starting my own religion and granting a general dispensation for the smiting of mockingbirds… ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2006, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-up-and-go-to-sleep-stupid-bird/352522/18 "2006-04-14T02:25:24Z")
> [@LiveOnAPlane](#): > > Damn, that would be hilarious if it hadn’t happened to us, too! > > The first time it happened, I went out with a gun, thinking burly men with jackhammers on my roof/gutter were not protected migratory birds. 😉 I was working night shift. I _did_ shoot a pileated woodpecker. It is buried out in the woods behind my house. i figured I could plead insanity from lack of sleep and any jury member that had ever worked third shift would be on my side. fucking thing kept me awake literally 3 days straight, less than an hour of sleep. I would try to sleep between 9am and 9 pm, and in august it is still very light until about 8 pm, when the stupid thing would finally stop pouinding on the wall of the house by the head of my bed. ---
**Author:** ![asterion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4da419/32.png) [@asterion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asterion)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2006, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-up-and-go-to-sleep-stupid-bird/352522/19 "2006-04-14T20:33:20Z")
This isn’t a bird, but… I was out backpacking. One night, the night is fine and warm and I decide to sling my hammock and sleep in it instead of pitching the tent. All is fine and dandy until I am woken up the next morning, just as it’s getting light, by a _very_ pissed-off squirrel. Nothing like getting hit in the head by nuts and twigs and such (all accompanied by angry chittering) to get a guy up in the morning. ---
**Author:** ![adhemar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@adhemar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/adhemar)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2006, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-up-and-go-to-sleep-stupid-bird/352522/20 "2006-04-14T23:58:18Z")
Yep, I got me one too. Damn bird don’t you know it’s time to sleep? Running a fan nearby seems to provide enough white noise to drown out the bird as well as planes at 5am. Even in winter I sometimes run a fan at night and expecially when I worked the late shift. It even drowns out the neighbors screaming children enough to let me sleep or at least not wake up completely. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-up-and-go-to-sleep-stupid-bird/352522.md?page=2)