Shut your fucking dog up!

I’m thinking that Dogzilla was referring to people who leave their dog outside 24/7 and don’t visit it, or play with it, or generally acknowledge that they even have a dog. Or people who leave an obviously housepet type of dog outside - a chihuahua or crappy shitzu : spits : type of dog.

Can I hijack this thread for a mini-rant?

Why does it seem like everyone on the universe has a dog? Not that I care, really; if you want one, knock yourself out. But…

  1. I don’t want to hear your dog barking 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Shut the damn thing up.

  2. If you allow your dog (or cat) to live in your house, then your house stinks. Everyone I know who allows pets to live in their house has a stinky house. Everyone. If you don’t mind living in a stinky house, fine. But don’t expect me to visit often…

  3. We have three small children. I consider roaming dogs to be a threat to us. If I see two or more dogs on our property I will shoot them with my .308 rifle.

I’m glad you can understand my frustration with these people. They think the dog is some kind of goddam lawn ornament or something. I just don’t understand; what kind of imbecile gets a dog when they have children that they don’t want to have near the dog? Just more evidence for my theory: People are idiots.

Problem with that kind of retaliation is that you could be held criminally liable. A friend of mine told me a story about a guy he knew. I don’t know if it’s true, but it’s a great story. Apparently, the neighbor’s dog would bark constantly whenever the neighbor was gone. He tried talking to the neighbor, but the neighbor didn’t take his complaints seriously. So he tape-recorded the barking dog, ran speakers out to the yard pointing over the fence towards the neighbor, and when the neighbor got home, blasted him with the recording of his own dog barking.

blowero, did the guy get into trouble with the law over his infliction of poetic justice?

I’m terribly surprised you couldn’t fit in how the cats on your property are tools destined to be coyote snacks.

Seriously, the only thing I know about you is that you love to hijack threads in order to proclaim your disdain for pets.

I don’t know. I don’t even know if the story’s true. You know how it is when people tell you about their “friend”.

Anyway, my point probably wasn’t very clear. I was actually trying to suggest that something like that would probably get you in less trouble than actually shooting physical objects at someone’s property.

See, now that is exactly how I feel about small children. It seems like everyone in the universe has them.

  1. I don’t want to hear your kids screaming all day and late into the night. Shut the damn things up already.

  2. Everyone I know who has kids in their house has a messy house. Everyone! If you don’t mind living in a dirty house, fine, but don’t expect me to come visit.

  3. I have two big dogs… I consider roaming children to be a pain in the ass. If I see two or more children on my property I will shoot them with my big ol’ Browning Gold shotgun

Dude, come on. You think a house full of small children doesn’t stink? It reeks of barf, formula, and dirty diapers.

:confused: