# Shut your piehole, you self-righteous bitch. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 24, 2006, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-your-piehole-you-self-righteous-bitch/354010 "2006-04-24T17:09:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2006, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-your-piehole-you-self-righteous-bitch/354010/1 "2006-04-24T17:09:28Z")
Look, everybody who works in a cube farm feels the need to glance into someone’s space from time to time when they pass by on the way to…wherever it is that they’re heading for that isn’t their workstation. And sometimes it’s amusing to comment on what you see in there: what they’re surfing, the jungle-like nature of their plants, lunch…. Yeah, sometimes is alright. It’s considered friendly and social. I got no problem with that. But here’s a tip: When you pass by my cube, put a lock on that fuckin’ hole of yours and spare me any comments, m’kay? Because quite frankly, I find you irritating to begin with. Maybe it’s the BS sexual harassment charges you pressed on a coworker who wouldn’t cover your Saturday shift while you sunned your vileness at the lake, maybe it’s the way you use every little excuse you can find to avoid showing up to work. Or maybe, just maybe in this particular case, it’s because my monthly production is about four times your own, and I _still_ have to clean up the messes you make with already wigged out customers. Yeah, it’s that last bit. The production issue. The “Inigo is carrying you and cleaning up after you” issue. And you know what? That in itself isn’t so bad. I’m used to it and my pay gets pumped accordingly year after year. The bosses know what I do, and what you don’t. Got a problem with seeing me on The Dope whenever you pass by? Just say so. Or better yet, tell my boss. Yeah, Tell HIM that I screw off \*all damn day \*and still manage to dwarf your pathetic showing at the end of the month. And while you’re at it, explain to him how it is that while you only do 20% of the work between us, that you are responsible for 100% of the complaints that cross his desk. Which, by the way, he passes to me for resolution. And bathe already. With, like, soap. ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2006, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-your-piehole-you-self-righteous-bitch/354010/2 "2006-04-24T18:02:39Z")
Dude, are you on here again? 😉 When I’m at work, either AOL or Yahoo messenger is almost always up. My kid, when she’s away at school and some of her friends are on AOL. Another couple of my friends are on Yahoo. I don’t silence the IM, because I’d miss the blinky part on my taskbar. So, every so often, anyone walking by my office will hear a chime, or a knock. One driver in particular - who as a "standby’ spends a lot of time hanging around waiting for something to do - never fails to make a comment when she hears it. I’m going to print your OP and shove it in her face. ---
**Author:** ![Cranky\_Hermit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/13edae/32.png) [@Cranky\_Hermit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cranky_Hermit)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2006, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-your-piehole-you-self-righteous-bitch/354010/3 "2006-04-24T18:53:48Z")
The fact that she shirks her work and lies and complains is bad enough, but she actually has enough of an ‘aroma’ that it seems she doesn’t BATHE?! I feel for you! ---
**Author:** ![Taber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ac91a4/32.png) [@Taber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taber)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2006, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-your-piehole-you-self-righteous-bitch/354010/4 "2006-04-24T20:24:23Z")
hey, cut her some slack, she’s just worried that if you spend too much time on the dope, you won’t have the time to fix her messes. ---
**Author:** ![Greathouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/greathouse/32/2992_2.png) [@Greathouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greathouse)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2006, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-your-piehole-you-self-righteous-bitch/354010/5 "2006-04-24T20:35:06Z")
I was afraid this was another Tuba thread. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2006, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-your-piehole-you-self-righteous-bitch/354010/6 "2006-04-24T20:58:38Z")
So, do you know who she’s sleeping with to retain her employment with this company? Or are you government workers? 😃 Have you said anything to her like, “If the boss has a problem with my surfing, he knows where to find me. In other words, it’s none of your business.” ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2006, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-your-piehole-you-self-righteous-bitch/354010/7 "2006-04-24T21:01:24Z")
Sorry, I am obligated to not allow **Tuba** -bashing in my threads. I must now whack you with a raw trout. \* splat \* Now stop it. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2006, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-your-piehole-you-self-righteous-bitch/354010/8 "2006-04-24T21:08:05Z")
> [@featherlou](#): > > So, do you know who she’s sleeping with to retain her employment with this company? Or are you government workers? 😃 The company’s remarkably difficult to get fired from. And given she’s a middle-aged Black single mom with a history of vigorously rocking the boat, she’s pretty much bullet-proof in a company willing to tolerate almost anything short of armed assault to avoid bad press as a discriminatory employer. All four of my young, white, married, goatee’d manbosses are terrified of her. :smack: > [@featherlou](#): > > Have you said anything to her like, “If the boss has a problem with my surfing, he knows where to find me. In other words, it’s none of your business.” Well of course did! Didn’t you read the OP? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2006, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-your-piehole-you-self-righteous-bitch/354010/9 "2006-04-24T21:21:52Z")
> [@Inigo Montoya](#): > > The company’s remarkably difficult to get fired from. And given she’s a middle-aged Black single mom with a history of vigorously rocking the boat, she’s pretty much bullet-proof in a company willing to tolerate almost anything short of armed assault to avoid bad press as a discriminatory employer. All four of my young, white, married, goatee’d manbosses are terrified of her. :smack: Well, _that_ certainly blows (no comment on whether she does or not). > [@](#): > > Well of course did! Didn’t you read the OP? 😃 Hmm, guess I need my reading-between-the-lines glasses. 😃 right back atcha. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2006, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-your-piehole-you-self-righteous-bitch/354010/10 "2006-04-24T21:34:55Z")
No blowjob. Ever. In the history of animals with mouths. Would be worth having to work with this person. In fact, I would give up to three blowjobs to get rid of her. Well…maybe I would. It would really depend on how the first one went I guess. ---
**Author:** ![Raygun99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Raygun99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raygun99)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2006, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-your-piehole-you-self-righteous-bitch/354010/11 "2006-04-24T21:51:19Z")
It seems like after you’d given the one blowjob, you’d kinda be locked into making sure she went away, no? ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2006, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-your-piehole-you-self-righteous-bitch/354010/12 "2006-04-24T21:55:35Z")
> [@Inigo Montoya](#): > > \my young, white, married, goatee’d manbosses are terrified of her.\ They’re all Chandler, aren’t they? ---
**Author:** ![Omegaman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e480ec/32.png) [@Omegaman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omegaman)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2006, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-your-piehole-you-self-righteous-bitch/354010/13 "2006-04-24T22:07:27Z")
At least your boss knows what’s what. If he’s cool with it, then fuck her and the broom she rode in on. ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2006, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-your-piehole-you-self-righteous-bitch/354010/14 "2006-04-24T23:44:47Z")
> [@Inigo Montoya](#): > > Well…maybe I would. It would really depend on how the first one went I guess. THAT is the funniest damn thing I have read all day. Thank you. No really, thank you. I mean it. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2006, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-your-piehole-you-self-righteous-bitch/354010/15 "2006-04-26T14:45:57Z")
> [@Inigo Montoya](#): > > No blowjob. Ever. In the history of animals with mouths. Would be worth having to work with this person. In fact, I would give up to three blowjobs to get rid of her. Well…maybe I would. It would really depend on how the first one went I guess. Would’ja be needin’ to practise that beforehand? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![crimson87](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@crimson87](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crimson87)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2006, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-your-piehole-you-self-righteous-bitch/354010/16 "2006-04-26T15:41:53Z")
I feel your pain. There’s one of those at my employer, too. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2006, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-your-piehole-you-self-righteous-bitch/354010/17 "2006-04-26T18:18:50Z")
Does she fall down a lot? ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2006, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-your-piehole-you-self-righteous-bitch/354010/18 "2006-04-27T18:56:49Z")
> [@featherlou](#): > > They’re all Chandler, aren’t they? Could she _be_ any more annoying?? You’re a , … a **transponster**! –gigi, whose computer is on mute and faces away from the door ---
**Author:** ![Sequent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Sequent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sequent)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2006, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-your-piehole-you-self-righteous-bitch/354010/19 "2006-04-27T23:49:19Z")
Sorry for your work troubles, **Inigo** , but thanks for the thread: I am officially co-opting “sunning your vileness” into my personal phrasebook. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2006, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shut-your-piehole-you-self-righteous-bitch/354010/20 "2006-04-28T02:16:45Z")
> [@Inigo Montoya](#): > > No blowjob. Ever. In the history of animals with mouths. Would be worth having to work with this person. In fact, I would give up to three blowjobs to get rid of her. Well…maybe I would. It would really depend on how the first one went I guess. Just admit that you’re secretly in love with her and you’re upset because she has repeatedly spurned your advances. 😛