# Shy Bladder... The Bane of My Existence **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 12, 2002, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shy-bladder-the-bane-of-my-existence/103224 "2002-04-12T13:37:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![ummm.yeahh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e9bcb4/32.png) [@ummm.yeahh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ummm.yeahh)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2002, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shy-bladder-the-bane-of-my-existence/103224/1 "2002-04-12T13:37:22Z")
A.K.A. stage fright So I just got back from the bathroom and it’s the same story. Anyone within 20 feet of me means my body will not allow me to pee. I have to stand there like a goon waiting for things to clear out before I can do my duty. I have to psyche myself up just to take a leak. I try to focus on other stuff and not concentrate on peeing. But it almost never works. And as soon as the bathroom is empty, I’m like Niagra Falls. Anyone else have this? Do women have this problem? If so, any tips, short of hypno-therapy? I need to be freed from this vice!!! ---
**Author:** ![CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crankyasanoldman/32/11670_2.png) [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2002, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shy-bladder-the-bane-of-my-existence/103224/2 "2002-04-12T13:54:18Z")
Yep, in college I regularly had to turn on the faucet in the sink so my friend Carrie could manage to go in the shared bathrooms. It’s not terribly uncommon, as I understand it. No idea of a cure, though. ---
**Author:** ![Nymysys](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f6c823/32.png) [@Nymysys](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nymysys)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2002, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shy-bladder-the-bane-of-my-existence/103224/3 "2002-04-12T14:07:12Z")
I’m with you, too. It’s the only damn social phobia I have. Apparently it’s fairly easy to treat with behavioural therapy…lemme quote a tiny bit: > [@](#): > > Behavioral therapy focuses on changing specific actions and uses different techniques to stop this behavior. One technique involves diaphragmatic breathing which is a form of deep-breathing. Another technique called exposure therapy gradually exposes the patient to the object or situation which frightens him/her and helps the patient to develop coping skills. > > Cognitive-behavioral therapy teaches the persons new skills in order to react differently to the situations which trigger the anxiety or panic attacks. Patients also learn to understand how their thinking patterns contribute to the symptoms and how to change their thinking to reduce or stop these symptoms. That’s just from the NMHA. \ For me, when I HAVE to go, I close my eyes and think of England. ---
**Author:** ![ummm.yeahh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e9bcb4/32.png) [@ummm.yeahh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ummm.yeahh)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2002, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shy-bladder-the-bane-of-my-existence/103224/4 "2002-04-12T14:18:28Z")
\*\* > [@](#): > > One technique involves diaphragmatic breathing which is a form of deep-breathing. \*\* So I should breathe like I’m in labor when I pee? \*\* > [@](#): > > Another technique called exposure therapy gradually exposes the patient to the object or situation which frightens him/her and helps the patient to develop coping skills. \*\* I get it, stare at the urinal until it literally scares the piss out of me. :eek: \*\* > [@](#): > > Cognitive-behavioral therapy teaches the persons new skills in order to react differently to the situations which trigger the anxiety or panic attacks. Patients also learn to understand how their thinking patterns contribute to the symptoms and how to change their thinking to reduce or stop these symptoms. \*\* \*\*(Matrix) \*\* _[Approaches Urinal]_ “There is not spoon. There is no spoon…” I’m with you, I’ll try to think of England. ---
**Author:** ![Hemlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Hemlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hemlock)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2002, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shy-bladder-the-bane-of-my-existence/103224/5 "2002-04-12T15:26:50Z")
A common problem. Very simple. Once you’re ready to go, start (mentally) reciting your “times tables”. Even the most basic will do the trick - " one two is two, two twos are four, three twos are six, four twos are eight, five twos are … pssssshhhhhhhhhhh. It works! Trust your Uncle Hemlock on this one. ---
**Author:** ![ummm.yeahh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e9bcb4/32.png) [@ummm.yeahh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ummm.yeahh)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2002, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shy-bladder-the-bane-of-my-existence/103224/6 "2002-04-12T15:38:10Z")
**Hemlock** You are a man among men. ---
**Author:** ![scott\_evil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@scott\_evil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scott_evil)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2002, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shy-bladder-the-bane-of-my-existence/103224/7 "2002-04-12T15:50:05Z")
While I’m way used to them now, I went on a trip in high school and we stayed at a university dorm with gang showers. Hadn’t done that since I hit puberty - plus I knew I was gay by that time. My willy shrivelled up into my pubes. (Then again, so did a lot of guys’ units… or they were small at least…) Still, a thrilling and eye-opening experience for a young gayboy… 😉 - s.e. ---
**Author:** ![Puzzle\_Boy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a5b964/32.png) [@Puzzle\_Boy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Puzzle_Boy)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2002, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shy-bladder-the-bane-of-my-existence/103224/8 "2002-04-12T15:50:10Z")
**ummm… yeahh…** Just wondering. When it happens do you continue to stand at the urinal and wistle or something or will you just give up and try later. This has happened to me a couple of thimes before and I always wonder what I should do. I think, " maybe I should just act like I went and flush that way it will be less embarissing."😛 ---
**Author:** ![Why\_A\_Duck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/13edae/32.png) [@Why\_A\_Duck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Why_A_Duck)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2002, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shy-bladder-the-bane-of-my-existence/103224/9 "2002-04-12T15:56:10Z")
I am so glad I don’t have this problem. My good buddy does though, and it’s always a source of amusement. The worst I ever saw him was during a ball game at Fenway where their men’s rooms had these troughs (for lack of a better word) that formed a communal urinal. I start going, fartin’, whistling. He’s got this frozen in fear expression on his face. Priceless. As to how to get over it: just don’t care. (yeah yeah, I know, easier said than done). ---
**Author:** ![ummm.yeahh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e9bcb4/32.png) [@ummm.yeahh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ummm.yeahh)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2002, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shy-bladder-the-bane-of-my-existence/103224/10 "2002-04-12T15:56:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Puzzle Boy \* > \*\ ***ummm… yeahh…** > > Just wondering. When it happens do you continue to stand at the urinal and wistle or something or will you just give up and try later. This has happened to me a couple of thimes before and I always wonder what I should do. I think, " maybe I should just act like I went and flush that way it will be less embarissing."😛 \*\* Oh, you know what those non-shy bladder people are thinking, “Look at that guy. 3 minutes at the urinal and nothing. Must be one of those shy bladder folks. I’ll just get my mace ready…” You always fake the flush! ---
**Author:** ![scott\_evil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@scott\_evil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scott_evil)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2002, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shy-bladder-the-bane-of-my-existence/103224/11 "2002-04-12T16:56:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ummm… yeahh… \* > **Oh, you know what those non-shy bladder people are thinking, "Look at that guy. 3 minutes at the urinal and nothing. Must be one of those shy bladder folks. I’ll just get my mace ready…"** …they think the guy is cruising for tearoom sex. 😛 - s.e. ---
**Author:** ![ummm.yeahh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e9bcb4/32.png) [@ummm.yeahh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ummm.yeahh)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2002, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shy-bladder-the-bane-of-my-existence/103224/12 "2002-04-12T17:04:03Z")
😕 Tearoom sex??.. :eek: … ---
**Author:** ![Mysphyt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/dbc845/32.png) [@Mysphyt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mysphyt)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2002, 7:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shy-bladder-the-bane-of-my-existence/103224/13 "2002-04-13T07:00:04Z")
Geez, it’s good to hear I’m not the only one. > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Why a Duck_\*\* > As to how to get over it: just don’t care. (yeah yeah, I know, easier said than done). \*\* It’s not really a question of just not caring. I’d happily brandish my willie at random passersby if it’d help me get back to the movie quicker. It’s not like I’m worried that people are looking. It just stops working in the presence of others, like those garage doors that won’t close if somebody’s underneath. ---
**Author:** ![Largo62](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/45deac/32.png) [@Largo62](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Largo62)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2002, 7:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shy-bladder-the-bane-of-my-existence/103224/14 "2002-04-13T07:39:36Z")
I have the same problem, compounded by a benign (so far) enlargement of the prostate. I avoid public facilities, because anybody waiting for me to get through just assumes all the groaning, squeezing and shaking is related more to masturbation than urination. I want to say, “Yeah, buddy? Just wait until yours won’t work. It’s gonna happen, dickbrain!” Of course, I don’t say that because I’m a sensitive individual…who might just get the piss _kicked_ out of him! As for those “man-troughs”. . . that’s why I only watch baseball on TV. Dodger dogs are good. . . but they’re not _that_ good! “Hello, I must be going.” – Groucho Marx ---
**Author:** ![ninevah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/46a35a/32.png) [@ninevah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ninevah)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2002, 8:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shy-bladder-the-bane-of-my-existence/103224/15 "2002-04-13T08:02:20Z")
Hmm, not sure if any women have this problem. As a female, i don’t have this problem, but then again, I don’t pee in front, adjacent, or behind other women. …We also don’t have troughs. This could be why we don’t pee in front of other women/men I don’t even know if other women _squat_ in front of others either. cos it’s more than i really want to think about, seriously. ---
**Author:** ![Lsura](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7993a0/32.png) [@Lsura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lsura)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2002, 9:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shy-bladder-the-bane-of-my-existence/103224/16 "2002-04-13T09:31:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ninevah \* > **Hmm, not sure if any women have this problem. As a female, i don’t have this problem, but then again, I don’t pee in front, adjacent, or behind other women. …We also don’t have troughs. This could be why we don’t pee in front of other women/men** Yes, women can have this problem. I did for a long time - there couldn’t be anyone in the restroom or I’d sit there until it was empty. Then someone here suggested a variation on the times table. So now, I list the prime numbers in my mind. By the time I get to 17, I’m peeing. ---
**Author:** ![meyer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ccd318/32.png) [@meyer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/meyer)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2002, 10:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shy-bladder-the-bane-of-my-existence/103224/17 "2002-04-13T10:13:57Z")
I used to live in a girls dorm, with a communal bathroom with three stalls (for 33 people, _that_ was fun). Anyways, I’d say a good half of the girls I lived with suffered from shy bladder and/or shy rectum, myself not included. So it certaibly isn’t a problem limited to guys. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2002, 11:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shy-bladder-the-bane-of-my-existence/103224/18 "2002-04-13T11:05:17Z")
For whatever reason, your brain must be continuing to tell you to “hold it” even when it’s now time to let go. It could be a self-consciousness thing that has fortified itself over time, where the brain is saying something like “Okay, you know the drill. Don’t pee now 'cause everybody’s watching. I’ll let you know when they’re all gone.” Its root might be in a feeling of vulnerability as you stand there with everything hanging out. You _could_ try some self-administered behavioral therapy, convincing yourself over time that you like peeing in front of other men. The drawback, though, is that you might develop an opposite circumstance where you have a fetish so compelling that you must have other men watching before you can pee. So, I think Hemlock has the right idea. You must preoccupy your brain like WOPR in _Wargames_. ---
**Author:** ![ninevah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/46a35a/32.png) [@ninevah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ninevah)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2002, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shy-bladder-the-bane-of-my-existence/103224/19 "2002-04-13T12:52:33Z")
or maybe people are holding on until the other people leave… maybe people don’t like other people hearing them do number ones or number twos… ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2002, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shy-bladder-the-bane-of-my-existence/103224/20 "2002-04-13T12:58:21Z")
Why did that make me think of DeMorgan’s Law? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shy-bladder-the-bane-of-my-existence/103224.md?page=2)