# Sick, Sick, Sick Little Chimp **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 16, 2010, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sick-sick-sick-little-chimp/543429 "2010-06-16T15:58:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![tr0psn4j](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/958977/32.png) [@tr0psn4j](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tr0psn4j)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2010, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sick-sick-sick-little-chimp/543429/81 "2010-06-19T23:51:20Z")
A toad style fleshlight? šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2010, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sick-sick-sick-little-chimp/543429/82 "2010-06-20T00:08:40Z")
Why donā€™t we do it in the toad? So the chimp likes to get deep toad? Good thing the chimp is small, otherwise heā€™d rippit. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2010, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sick-sick-sick-little-chimp/543429/83 "2010-06-20T00:14:32Z")
> [@kopek](#): > > Anything else out there figure this takes the proof of evolution to a whole new level? > šŸ˜ƒ Up or down? ---
**Author:** ![Tangent](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tangent/32/3098_2.png) [@Tangent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tangent)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2010, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sick-sick-sick-little-chimp/543429/84 "2010-06-20T01:06:18Z")
> [@Hypno-Toad](#): > > Miss Piggy is going to be PISSED. And the frog is going to be pissed _off_. If he doesnā€™t just fall off. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2010, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sick-sick-sick-little-chimp/543429/85 "2010-06-20T01:14:46Z")
> [@Wile\_E](#): > > Can we get back to poking fun * * * Actually to me it looked like that chimp was doing all the poking. Now clear me some wall space - and watch exactly what you are banging next to me. šŸ™‚ > [@Sunspace](#): > > Up or down? Using the video as a guide, I would say more like sideways. šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2010, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sick-sick-sick-little-chimp/543429/86 "2010-06-20T01:20:42Z")
This frog has been aped by the apeist. ---
**Author:** ![Indistinguishable](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/90ced4/32.png) [@Indistinguishable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indistinguishable)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2010, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sick-sick-sick-little-chimp/543429/87 "2010-06-20T01:22:00Z")
> [@Lemur866](#): > > Apes are monkeys. I know, I know, pedants have been claiming that apes arenā€™t monkeys forever. Theyā€™re wrong, in the same way that people who claim that humans arenā€™t apes are wrong. Humans and chimps are apes. Humans, chimps, baboons, and spider monkeys are monkeys. Humans, chimps, baboons, spider monkeys and lemurs are primates. Apes are a particular branch of the old world monkeys, and baboons are more closely related to chimps and humans than baboons are to spider monkeys. Therefore, if the word ā€œmonkeyā€ has any scientific meaning, apes are monkeys. > > And Curious George is clearly a chimpanzee, and therefore an ape, and therefore a monkey. Right on. Apes arenā€™t Old World monkeys, and they arenā€™t New World monkeys, but itā€™s stubbornly misguided pedantry not to acknowledge that, ultimately, what the cladistics demonstrate are that apes are a third category of monkey, in deference to what common language had been comfortable saying all along. (Granted, in the same cladistic sense, birds are a particular subcategory of reptiles, and so on, whereupon some might object that thereā€™s nothing inherently wrong with using such paraphyletic terms as ā€œ(non-bird) reptileā€, ā€œ(non-ape) monkeyā€, and ā€œ(non-human) animalā€. Well, you can all sort it out, but at least so far as biology is concerned, sticking to clades as categories is almost always The Right Thing. At any rate, the situation is much less cut-and-dry than the traditional ā€œapes arenā€™t monkeysā€ lineā€¦) But, yes. Back to that poor creature getting the shit orally raped out of itā€¦ (I somewhat fail to see how this would provide any further pleasure than mere masturbation, but I suppose even chimps sometimes have bizarre bestial fetishes) ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2010, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sick-sick-sick-little-chimp/543429/88 "2010-06-20T18:48:30Z")
> [@Indistinguishable](#): > > But, yes. Back to that poor creature getting the shit orally raped out of itā€¦ (I somewhat fail to see how this would provide any further pleasure than mere masturbation, but I suppose even chimps sometimes have bizarre bestial fetishes) Perhaps it doesnā€™t, but I guess that chimpā€™s thoughts ran something like: _how will I know unless I try?_ ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2010, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sick-sick-sick-little-chimp/543429/89 "2010-06-20T19:13:01Z")
> [@Indistinguishable](#): > > (I somewhat fail to see how this would provide any further pleasure than mere masturbation, but I suppose even chimps sometimes have bizarre bestial fetishes) Well, itā€™s moist, at least. [Uncle Andy](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FWzOQTFwRBE) sez banana skins are good for masturbatinā€™ in, so frogs must be up there, as well. Yā€™know, if youā€™re an adolescent chimp. Warning: link not safe for work or viewing around children. Or adults, really. šŸ˜‰ ---
**Author:** ![Claude\_Remains](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/898d66/32.png) [@Claude\_Remains](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Claude_Remains)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2010, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sick-sick-sick-little-chimp/543429/90 "2010-06-20T19:35:44Z")
That frog was blowing bubbles. šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2010, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sick-sick-sick-little-chimp/543429/91 "2010-06-21T14:38:03Z")
And I thought Strokinā€™ the Toad was just an expression. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2010, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sick-sick-sick-little-chimp/543429/92 "2010-06-21T14:44:17Z")
> [@Hypno-Toad](#): > > And I thought Strokinā€™ the Toad was just an expression. Combining the post with the poster, I now have a new all-time favorite! šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![Anonymous\_Coward](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/94ad74/32.png) [@Anonymous\_Coward](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anonymous_Coward)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2010, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sick-sick-sick-little-chimp/543429/93 "2010-06-21T14:52:09Z")
> [@Claude\_Remains](#): > > That frog was blowing bubbles. šŸ˜ƒ Iā€™m glad that heā€™s moved on. Michael isnā€™t coming back. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2010, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sick-sick-sick-little-chimp/543429/94 "2010-06-21T16:57:06Z")
> [@Anonymous\_Coward](#): > > Iā€™m glad that heā€™s moved on. Michael isnā€™t coming back. Good Lord - could you imagine if he still was alive? He would probably swap the Elephant Manā€™s bones and several gold records for that ape. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2010, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sick-sick-sick-little-chimp/543429/95 "2010-06-21T17:16:17Z")
> [@Indistinguishable](#): > > Right on. Apes arenā€™t Old World monkeys, and they arenā€™t New World monkeys, but itā€™s stubbornly misguided pedantry not to acknowledge that, ultimately, what the cladistics demonstrate are that apes are a third category of monkey, in deference to what common language had been comfortable saying all along. Right. Linguistically speaking, ā€œapeā€ is the older term in English (before the 12th Century), and ā€œmonkeyā€ (from about 1530) was regarded as a subcategory of ape. (The Great Apes were unknown to science before the late 1600s, and the existence of the gorilla wasnā€™t confirmed until the mid 1800s.) Eventually in popular usage ā€œmonkeyā€ became the generic term for all of the higher non-human primates including the Great Apes, while scientists on the other hand co-opted the term ā€œapeā€ for the Great Apes alone. So there is really no linguistic justification to restrict the term ā€œmonkeyā€ to the non-ape higher primates. Now cladistics has established that there is no scientific reason either: apes are a sub-category of monkey, both in popular usage and scientifically. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2010, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sick-sick-sick-little-chimp/543429/96 "2010-06-21T18:13:23Z")
Hey, stop inserting logic into this thread like a chimp penis into a frogā€™s mouth! ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2010, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sick-sick-sick-little-chimp/543429/97 "2010-06-21T18:55:09Z")
Jeremiah was a bullfrog. Was a good friend of mine. I never understood a single word he said. ---
**Author:** ![Olentzero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/90ced4/32.png) [@Olentzero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Olentzero)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2010, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sick-sick-sick-little-chimp/543429/98 "2010-06-21T20:49:27Z")
> [@Larry\_Mudd](#): > > Donā€™t be so judgemental - we all feel a little ranidae from time to time. It is a shame and a travesty of all that is good and righteous about the Straight Dope that this pun has gone completely unacknowledged for three. Whole. Days. I salute you, sir. Well played indeed. ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2010, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sick-sick-sick-little-chimp/543429/99 "2010-06-21T21:27:33Z")
> [@Wile\_E](#): > > If you need me, Iā€™ll just be over there in the corner banging my head on the wall and babbling incoherently. Pervert. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2010, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sick-sick-sick-little-chimp/543429/100 "2010-06-21T21:47:27Z")
I think that chimp had just sung one too many [rugby](http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:Rbq7s6OXZQQJ:nmrufc.co.uk/files/Rugby%2520songbook.doc+bestiality's+great,+mate&cd=1&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=uk) songsā€¦ (Search for ā€œtoadā€ā€¦ :eek:) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sick-sick-sick-little-chimp/543429.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sick-sick-sick-little-chimp/543429.md?page=6)