# Significant others of the wrong gender

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/significant-others-of-the-wrong-gender/515357>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [October 27, 2009, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/significant-others-of-the-wrong-gender/515357 "2009-10-27T22:20:30Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 4\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![Tezcatlipoca](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Tezcatlipoca](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tezcatlipoca)\
**Post date:** [October 27, 2009, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/significant-others-of-the-wrong-gender/515357/1 "2009-10-27T22:20:30Z")

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I was reading this in an old thread on this site:

> [@Predict the next celebrity who'll come out of the closet (and when)](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-the-next-celebrity-wholl-come-out-of-the-closet-and-when/465296/64):
>
> > [@Predict the next celebrity who'll come out of the closet (and when)](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/predict-the-next-celebrity-wholl-come-out-of-the-closet-and-when/465296/56):
> >
> > A minor point, and not critical to the discussion at hand but . . .
> > 
> > Cole Porter and Linda Thomas had a marriage of convenience that was by all accounts _not_ consummated. The “love of his live” nonsense was written for the film only.
> 
> On the other hand, Charles Laughton and Elsa Lanchester were married 33 years, until his death, though he was quite gay. I think it’s sweet that people can be soulmates even with that standing in their way, though he regretted that they could not have children, either because she didn’t want to because of his gayness (her version) or because she couldn’t after a botched abortion in her younger years (his version).

(Original thread is here: [Predict the next celebrity who'll come out of the closet (and when) - Cafe Society - Straight Dope Message Board](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=485109))

This made me curious whether there are many other examples of homosexual people having long-term relationships with people of the opposite sex, or, alternately, of heterosexual people having relationships with people of the same sex.

I remember watching a documentary about Queen once where someone described Freddie Mercury’s girlfriend from the '70s as his “soul mate”. On the same-sex side, my poet friends tell me that Allen Ginsberg had a boyfriend (Neal Cassady) who was (otherwise) straight.

(I suppose you could argue that all of these people were really bisexual though.)

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**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\
**Post date:** [October 27, 2009, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/significant-others-of-the-wrong-gender/515357/2 "2009-10-27T22:37:29Z")

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Here we go again.

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**Author:** ![Exapno\_Mapcase](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/exapno_mapcase/32/1051_2.png) [@Exapno\_Mapcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exapno_Mapcase)\
**Post date:** [October 28, 2009, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/significant-others-of-the-wrong-gender/515357/3 "2009-10-28T00:21:40Z")

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> [@Tezcatlipoca](#):
>
> This made me curious whether there are many other examples of homosexual people having long-term relationships with people of the opposite sex

Yes, many. Many, many, many. Virtually every famous person in history who was homosexual had a public relationship with someone of the opposite sex. There were as many variations on this as there were people, from two gays living in a total marriage of convenience to true love.

Many, many, many.

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**Author:** ![Ruby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@Ruby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby)\
**Post date:** [October 28, 2009, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/significant-others-of-the-wrong-gender/515357/4 "2009-10-28T01:13:08Z")

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Allegedly Katharine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy had a mostly platonic long-term relationship as a matter of convenience. It’s said that Katharine was a lesbian but it’s more likely she was bi-sexual.

Old Hollywood is full of stories of “marriages of convenience”. I’m not sure why it’s such a curiosity, though. It seems very natural to me.