# Signs of female interest **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 16, 2010, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/signs-of-female-interest/529148 "2010-02-16T02:28:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![kombatminipig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5ac83/32.png) [@kombatminipig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kombatminipig)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2010, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/signs-of-female-interest/529148/61 "2010-02-17T13:11:14Z")
I pretty often encounter situations where girls flirt with me in order to get my attention for some other reason than interest: I work as a programmer, and whenever a certain female (non-technical) staff member comes over to my desk, flirts, rubs my arm, big doe eyes, it’s for one reason only…still I’m a nice guy, so I help her out with her computer anyway. And I’m not saying I don’t like it ^^ Another recent situation was an adviser at a financial institution who was trying to sell me an endowment policy, and the fake flirting was so overt to be embarrassing. Cute girl, about 25 (couple of years younger than me), complementing me on the size of my stock portfolio (_wink-wink_ _nudge-nudge_), on my obvious financial savvyness, on my social skills, haircut, dress, career prospects, etc. It was mostly kind of silly. And I didn’t buy into the policy. I must be giving a vibe of not getting enough, I don’t know ^^ ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2010, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/signs-of-female-interest/529148/62 "2010-02-17T13:27:45Z")
> [@kombatminipig](#): > > Another recent situation was an adviser at a financial institution who was trying to sell me an endowment policy, and the fake flirting was so overt to be embarrassing. Cute girl, about 25 (couple of years younger than me), complementing me on the size of my stock portfolio (_wink-wink_ _nudge-nudge_), on my obvious financial savvyness, on my social skills, haircut, dress, career prospects, etc. It was mostly kind of silly. And I didn’t buy into the policy. Or the waitress who’s ardor cools the _second_ the ink dries on the tip-line of the receipt. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Dog80](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/6bbea6/32.png) [@Dog80](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dog80)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2010, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/signs-of-female-interest/529148/63 "2010-02-17T13:38:15Z")
> [@septimus](#): > > Twenty-three years ago a _very_ foxy young woman who worked on a project where I was consulting gave me this signal; I was so infatuated I could hardly sleep at nights; finally made an embarassing phone call in which she sternly told me to forget it, she had a boyfriend. I literally never returned to the job, not even picking up my last paycheck… I personally prefer it when a girl rejects me flat-out like this. We then both go our separate ways and everyone is happy. Saves time and anguish. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2010, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/signs-of-female-interest/529148/64 "2010-02-17T13:47:26Z")
Back in the day, short of a slap on the back of the head and a loud announcement of ‘Hey! We’re dating!’ I really didn’t know if or when a girl was interested. The girl I eventually married pulled me into someone elses empty dorm and kissed the heck out of me. I kissed back and found bliss. 🆒 The verdict is still out on what she found (no cavities?) but after two kids, she’s stuck with me now. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2010, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/signs-of-female-interest/529148/65 "2010-02-17T14:01:43Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > We are trying to tell you that no VD is enjoyable but it could be worth it if she really was that hot. I am not sure why you are even focused on VD. Well, I was only focused on VD for that one day. Maybe next year I’ll get the best VD ever. Three years ago I got the worst VD ever. It took me like 8 months to get over it. She broke my heart. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2010, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/signs-of-female-interest/529148/66 "2010-02-17T14:37:20Z")
I’d love to get some opinions on this. It’s not about whether she was interested, but how I could have tested her for interest, or how I could have expressed interest. I’ll tell you the end of the story right now: I left without saying more than “OK, bye”, then I had a serious George Costanza “jerk store” moment, as in “I should have said…!” Unfortunately, I left my time machine in my other pants that day. And it was no big deal. She was cute, but not really my type. Anyway, I was out shopping on Sunday, and I saw a store that I was always curious about. It’s called Condom World. I decided to go in. Far from being patronized by creepy guys in trench coats, every single customer was part of a couple, and every couple seemed to be in a really good mood. I didn’t see a single condom, but I saw every manner of dildos, vibrators, lotions, assless chaps, nipple clips, and fuzzy pink handcuffs. OK, now I knew what they sold there. I was ready to walk out. Her: “Excuse me sir, may I help you?” Me: “No, not really. I’ve been by this place a million times and I’ve never come in.” Her: “We have some really great stuff here!” Me: “Yeah, it looks like you sell a lot more than condoms. You have all kinds of crazy stuff.” Her: “Yeah, this stuff is great. Let me know if I can help you find anything. Hey, maybe you can get something for the special woman in your life.” Me: “Well, I don’t really have anyone right now.” Her: _sigh_ “Me neither. Valentine’s Day sucks.” And my witty response to that was… ---
**Author:** ![Dog80](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/6bbea6/32.png) [@Dog80](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dog80)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2010, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/signs-of-female-interest/529148/67 "2010-02-17T14:56:23Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Well, I was only focused on VD for that one day. Maybe next year I’ll get the best VD ever. Three years ago I got the worst VD ever. It took me like 8 months to get over it. > > She broke my heart. Which one is the best VD you are talking about? Gonorrhea or syphilis? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2010, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/signs-of-female-interest/529148/68 "2010-02-17T15:04:08Z")
> [@Dog80](#): > > Which one is the best VD you are talking about? Gonorrhea or syphilis? 😕 For those of you who are being whooshed by the whole VD thing… You may have noticed that every year, right around the middle of February, big pink hearts go up in store windows and the sales of chocolates and roses go up. This is in celebration, of course, of George Washington’s birthday. ---
**Author:** ![Giles](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giles/32/60_2.png) [@Giles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giles)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2010, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/signs-of-female-interest/529148/69 "2010-02-17T15:13:51Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > You may have noticed that every year, right around the middle of February, big pink hearts go up in store windows and the sales of chocolates and roses go up. This is in celebration, of course, of George Washington’s birthday. I thought it was Darwin’s birthday, given that he wrote about sex, reproduction, etc. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2010, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/signs-of-female-interest/529148/70 "2010-02-17T15:18:24Z")
> [@Giles](#): > > I thought it was Darwin’s birthday, given that he wrote about sex, reproduction, etc. I thought he was the guy who was really angry at God. ---
**Author:** ![melodyharmonius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/melodyharmonius/32/21310_2.png) [@melodyharmonius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/melodyharmonius)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2010, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/signs-of-female-interest/529148/71 "2010-02-17T15:40:16Z")
> [@MichaelEmouse](#): > > Inspired by this thread: [Women making the first move - In My Humble Opinion - Straight Dope Message Board](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=552307) > > Melodyharmonius said :" Guys will be the first to admit that they can be clueless about the things us gals consider “big hints.” > > I’ve found that also. What are some of the hints women use to signal romantic/sexual interest? I stumbled in to this thread and then realized I was part of the OP - oh my! So - let me give you an example of “big hints.” A guy and I are talking online (I’m a geek, okay?) about a party I missed. I say - hey, let me give you my phone number - next time, call me! Or even if you just want to chat or hang out. Next time I am online, we are chatting and he mentions another event I missed that he wished I had been there for. I playfully pout, saying he’s a big meanie because he had my number and didn’t call. He laughs. I say, “I bet you don’t even have my number - betcha threw it away. Way to break a girl’s heart!” He assures me he has my number. I make him call it just to prove it, and he does. He answers and I say, “Wow - your voice sounds just as sexy on the phone as I thought it might.” He laughs again, we chat for a while, and then he hangs up. We chat online again for a bit - I point out that now that he knows my number is real, he has no excuse not to call it so we can get together. Or come visit and try out my lasagne and a few other things on my table. He still doesn’t call. I figure, okay, he’s not in to me, that’s cool. We can still be friends. Life is too short and friends can be too few. We continue to hang out with our friends, mostly online - me telling him he’s cute and sexy and all that. He never asks me out, I’m good with that. Fast forward to me having a great boyfriend and being very happy. My friend and I are chatting online and he admits he had a crush on me and was wondering if I would have given him a chance if he had asked. I am like, “My og man, I gave you my number, made you call it, made it clear if you called I would go with you to events, that I thought you were sexy, I would cook for you, all you had to do was call and you never did - what do you expect me to say?” He says, “Well, I wasn’t sure.” :smack: Now when he catches me online, it’s to quickly check to see if I’m still dating my boyfriend. Buddy, you had 3 years and blew it - can’t help you. Course, now I don’t mess around. If I want something, I ask for it. But when it comes to hints, I think I made it pretty clear. In fact, I think my best friend even told him that he should ask me out. And he still wasn’t sure? Oy. Vey. Oy. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2010, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/signs-of-female-interest/529148/72 "2010-02-17T15:48:57Z")
**melodyharmonius** , just think. If you’d have been a little more obvious with the guy, you could now be dating the most clueless guy ever. You missed the boat on that one. ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2010, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/signs-of-female-interest/529148/73 "2010-02-17T15:56:49Z")
What I _hate_ is the “I thought you were pretty cute but never followed up on it” conversations I’d occasionally get. (One time by a girl that was engaged) Dammit, I didn’t exactly have women falling outta the sky on me and you ‘thought I was cute’ but opted not to do anything about it? Thanks a whole helluva lot for bringing it up. Sure wish you’da just let me live in ignorance! ---
**Author:** ![melodyharmonius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/melodyharmonius/32/21310_2.png) [@melodyharmonius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/melodyharmonius)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2010, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/signs-of-female-interest/529148/74 "2010-02-17T15:57:19Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > **melodyharmonius** , just think. If you’d have been a little more obvious with the guy, you could now be dating the most clueless guy ever. You missed the boat on that one. I know, I know. The mind boggles. But it also explains why he let his ex-wife wreak havoc on his life for so long - he just didn’t understand how good he could have had it with others because he was so clueless. . . . ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2010, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/signs-of-female-interest/529148/75 "2010-02-17T16:26:35Z")
> [@melodyharmonius](#): > > I stumbled in to this thread and then realized I was part of the OP - oh my! [Here’s another one for ya](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=552554). 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2010, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/signs-of-female-interest/529148/76 "2010-02-17T17:41:46Z")
Sometimes we women can be subtle, for sure, and we need to quit it. But I think it’s also fair to say men could stand to be a little more observant! Open your eyes! We’ll try to meet you halfway. Sheesh. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2010, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/signs-of-female-interest/529148/77 "2010-02-17T17:43:51Z")
> [@jjimm](#): > > Opinions requested. > > I have a situation at work where for about a month, the girl in question (who I am training), when I’m at her desk, wraps her arm around mine, puts her hand on mine while I’m using the mouse, wraps her fingers in mine for a second or so, and pushes her knee into mine. If she comes to _my_ desk she often runs her fingers in a circle on my arm while asking me stuff. The other day, when there was just the two of us in the office she inadvertantly (?) pushed her boobs up against my arm, and later wrapped both hands around my forearm, and then got a pen and wrote “I am jjimm ❤” on my it. She’s also invited me to go with her and a female coworker to see a movie (a chick flick) this week. > > Normally, I would interpret this only one way, but in this circumstance she’s about 20 years younger than me, extremely fit, and involved with someone. I’ve known some women along the way who I thought for sure were into me, but turned out to be just generally flirty. But this goes _way_ beyond anything like that that I’ve run into. I mean, what’s she going to do next, start nibbling on your earlobe? The least you can do is ask her something like, “just how serious are you about this guy of yours? because I’d like to ask you out.” ---
**Author:** ![Rack-a-Bones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rack-a-Bones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rack-a-Bones)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2010, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/signs-of-female-interest/529148/78 "2010-02-17T18:16:31Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > I am 100% dead serious. That is a true story. I do loves me some pretty women with all my heart but **Shagnasty** is just a really old Southern word of British origins that doesn’t mean what most people think it does. Yep, 36 years old with a few outstanding hookups and a still very attractive ex-wife with two daughters and I still have never asked out a girl out for a first date. The SDMB is the place to go to hear about unusual scenarios. Yes the The Dope is the place to hear about unusual scenarios but you married a girl who wandered into your dorm and made out with you when you had some illness and your brother just showed up at home one day and had a wife waiting? I’m still thinking I’m getting whooshed. > [@PookahMacPhellimey](#): > > When I was single my technique was to run away from and/or ignore anyone I was interested in as much as possible. Ha ha! You won’t get to reject ME. > > Worked great. :rolleyes: When you _ **were** _ single. So, how did you finally get caught? ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2010, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/signs-of-female-interest/529148/79 "2010-02-17T18:17:52Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > I’d love to get some opinions on this. It’s not about whether she was interested, but how I could have tested her for interest, or how I could have expressed interest. I’ll tell you the end of the story right now: I left without saying more than “OK, bye”, then I had a serious George Costanza “jerk store” moment, as in “I should have said…!” Unfortunately, I left my time machine in my other pants that day. > > And it was no big deal. She was cute, but not really my type. > > Anyway, I was out shopping on Sunday, and I saw a store that I was always curious about. It’s called Condom World. I decided to go in. Far from being patronized by creepy guys in trench coats, every single customer was part of a couple, and every couple seemed to be in a really good mood. I didn’t see a single condom, but I saw every manner of dildos, vibrators, lotions, assless chaps, nipple clips, and fuzzy pink handcuffs. OK, now I knew what they sold there. I was ready to walk out. > > Her: “Excuse me sir, may I help you?” > > Me: “No, not really. I’ve been by this place a million times and I’ve never come in.” > > Her: “We have some really great stuff here!” > > Me: “Yeah, it looks like you sell a lot more than condoms. You have all kinds of crazy stuff.” > > Her: “Yeah, this stuff is great. Let me know if I can help you find anything. Hey, maybe you can get something for the special woman in your life.” > > Me: “Well, I don’t really have anyone right now.” > > Her: _sigh_ “Me neither. Valentine’s Day sucks.” > > And my witty response to that was… Hitting on the woman who works at the condom store is not for the faint of heart. You have to figure that many sleazy men have tried before you, and you have to worry that she is expecting to hear something crass and inappropriate from you. And she’s going to be thinking, “Is he really single, if he’s buying something from here?” That said, a friend of mine worked up the nerve to ask out a woman who ran a lingerie store in his building, and they’re now married. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2010, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/signs-of-female-interest/529148/80 "2010-02-17T18:33:29Z")
> [@Tom\_Tildrum](#): > > Hitting on the woman who works at the condom store is not for the faint of heart. You have to figure that many sleazy men have tried before you, and you have to worry that she is expecting to hear something crass and inappropriate from you. And she’s going to be thinking, “Is he really single, if he’s buying something from here?” That’s kind of the same answer a friend gave me. But it’s really not a sleazy store. If you’ve ever been to Good Vibrations, it’s a lot like that, where more women go in than men. The answer to “Valentine’s Day sucks” that I thought of was “Huh. Mine just got a little bit better.” With the right expression on my face, of course. A friend came up with “Suckiest holiday ever. But I love Presidents Day! Are you free to get a cup of coffee tomorrow?” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/signs-of-female-interest/529148.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/signs-of-female-interest/529148.md?page=5)