# Silly Lord of the Rings Thoughts **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** middle-earth\ **Created:** [July 9, 2023, 11:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-lord-of-the-rings-thoughts/986810 "2023-07-09T11:34:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2023, 11:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-lord-of-the-rings-thoughts/986810/1 "2023-07-09T11:34:17Z")
So I am both watching Lord of the Rings, and playing Lord of the Rings Online, and a silly thought came to me - and it would actually be a cute cartoon - What does the Rider of the Nazgul _do_ when he isn’t out threatening people? Does he remove the gnarly black armor and sit there, a sort of blue glow, hanging out with a goblet of wine? Do they [the powers of Evil] get down time or are they all about the evil? I really shouldn’t get stoned and be near a computer =) At least this is a relatively harmless post =) ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2023, 12:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-lord-of-the-rings-thoughts/986810/2 "2023-07-09T12:06:58Z")
Not Golf, they weren’t aware of Hobbits, who invented golfing and golfing hadn’t yet spread beyond the Shire. It was in fact one Bandobras “the _Bullroarer_” Took that invented it. I find it likely they enjoyed creating evil, like the Barrow Wights of the Barrow Downs and the many evil spirits in Minas Morgul. Over the many long centuries of their existence (at least 41), it appears they were charged building evil. The Witch-king in Angmar. Three in Dol Guldur (southern Mirkwood) under Khamûl the Easterling and others in Minas Morgul. ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2023, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-lord-of-the-rings-thoughts/986810/3 "2023-07-09T12:23:41Z")
The thing about being undead is that you don’t need, and can never have, downtime. No matter how much you may deserve or want it. ---
**Author:** ![Ulfreida](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ulfreida/32/8014_2.png) [@Ulfreida](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulfreida)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2023, 12:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-lord-of-the-rings-thoughts/986810/4 "2023-07-09T12:38:32Z")
What about Balrogs? They’re cuter than Nazgul, especially the babies. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Bravo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_bravo/32/493_2.png) [@Johnny\_Bravo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Bravo)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2023, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-lord-of-the-rings-thoughts/986810/5 "2023-07-09T12:50:12Z")
The Nazgul were basically evil’s middle management, so I imagine they’re filling out quite a lot of forms and expense reports offscreen. “What do you mean they want meat back on the menu? They’re orcs - they don’t even have restaurants? It’s a meme? What the hell is a meme? Argh, just kill the whole squad! No there’s not a form for that! Well… okay, yes, there is a form for that.” ---
**Author:** ![snowthx](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowthx/32/10660_2.png) [@snowthx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snowthx)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2023, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-lord-of-the-rings-thoughts/986810/6 "2023-07-09T13:18:09Z")
I was under the impression from the talk Aragorn had with the hobbits describing the Nazgul as they were attacking the empty beds, that there are ever/always searching for the ring, never resting. And since they are dead, no need for coffee breaks or, evidently bio breaks. They just sit on the horses all day. As for the horses they ride, the ones with the glowing red eyes, perhaps those are evil zombie horses not needing their fodder (but the lot of them appeared to be good mudders). ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2023, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-lord-of-the-rings-thoughts/986810/7 "2023-07-09T13:25:10Z")
Actually, the horses were suppose to be mortal horses. Possibly ensorcelled a bit, but basically normal. Now I’m picturing Nazguls having show horse competitions for fun and practice. ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2023, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-lord-of-the-rings-thoughts/986810/8 "2023-07-09T13:58:37Z")
Not only for LOTR, but other fiction with a bad guy that wants to rule everything: So Sauron gets his wish, destroys the race of man, becomes ruler of Middle Earth… now what? He just hangs out? Parties? Destroys more stuff just for kicks? How do bad guys spend their days after winning? ---
**Author:** ![salinqmind1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/958977/32.png) [@salinqmind1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind1)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2023, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-lord-of-the-rings-thoughts/986810/9 "2023-07-09T15:43:52Z")
This question reminds me of in the past when my little brother asked me ‘Where does Superman (Spiderman/Prince Namor/The Fantastic Four, etc.) go to the bathroom?’ I was damned if I knew, but said they probably find a McDonalds or a gas station - or they go into battle with their own personal port-a-potty somewhere nearby… To answer the Nazgul question, since they’re dead and they’re spirits, they can still manifest to a physical form when called upon. Otherwise, they are in the other realm awaiting their master’s voice…can’t account for the horses, unless they are alive and kept at the ready by living evil humans. Remember, many are under the sway of the Dark One… ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2023, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-lord-of-the-rings-thoughts/986810/10 "2023-07-09T15:50:21Z")
I would have to find it, but Sauron’s agents buy black horses where they can. The Rohirrim turned them away but they purchase horses from other people. The probably keep herds in Nurn, the breadbasket of Mordor. Again, the horses of the Nazgul are actual horses. Not spirits or fiends. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2023, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-lord-of-the-rings-thoughts/986810/11 "2023-07-09T16:07:17Z")
> [@Hampshire](#): > > How do bad guys spend their days after winning? In real life, they spend every day in fear, worrying that someone will replace them, or kill them. > [@salinqmind1](#): > > Where does Superman …go to the bathroom?’ I’m sure that, somewhere in 70 years of comics, there’s a story that explains Supes poops and then uses superstrength to compress the waste into a micro ball, which he then tucks into a little pocket in the cape. Later he sends it to a proper waste treatment facility, in an environmentally-sound manner. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Bravo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_bravo/32/493_2.png) [@Johnny\_Bravo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Bravo)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2023, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-lord-of-the-rings-thoughts/986810/12 "2023-07-09T16:09:58Z")
Superman obviously built the Fortress of Solitude for pooping. ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2023, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-lord-of-the-rings-thoughts/986810/13 "2023-07-09T16:18:46Z")
> [@What\_Exit](#): > > Over the many long centuries of their existence (at least 41), it appears they were charged building evil. But doesn’t their strength depend on Sauron himself? So during the long stretch after the Last Battle (which wasn’t), while Sauron was in sort of limbo, weren’t the Nazgul also weakened? That’s why at one point when Gandalf says that the Nine Riders have been seen, that is a measure of how Sauron has been regaining his strength. There’s also a passage somewhere about how the Nazgul are wearied from the centuries of their weird existence, but are slaves to Sauron and have no choice but to do his bidding. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2023, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-lord-of-the-rings-thoughts/986810/14 "2023-07-09T16:21:22Z")
The Witch King did a vast amount around 1970 of the Third Age. He basically brought down Arnor while building a Kingdom in Angmar all while Sauron was still very weak. Yes, their strength grew as Sauron’s strength recovered, but no they were not weak. At least not all of them. ---
**Author:** ![squeegee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/squeegee/32/14537_2.png) [@squeegee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/squeegee)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2023, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-lord-of-the-rings-thoughts/986810/15 "2023-07-09T16:22:16Z")
> [@What\_Exit](#): > > I would have to find it, but Sauron’s agents buy black horses where they can. The Rohirrim turned them away but they purchase horses from other people. The probably keep herds in Nurn, the breadbasket of Mordor. > > Again, the horses of the Nazgul are actual horses. Not spirits or fiends. > [@](#): > > ‘Then you do not pay tribute to Sauron?’ said Gimli. > > ‘We do not and we never have,’ said Éomer with a flash of his eyes; ‘though it comes to my ears that that lie has been told. Some years ago the Lord of the Black Land wished to purchase horses of us at great price, but we refused him, for he puts beasts to evil use. Then he sent plundering Orcs, and they carry off what they can, choosing always the black horses: few of these are now left. For that reason our feud with the Orcs is bitter. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2023, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-lord-of-the-rings-thoughts/986810/16 "2023-07-09T16:48:00Z")
> “I wish I were dead," whined Pepsi. > “So do I,” said Moxie. > “May the good fairy what sits in the sky grant yer every wish,” said Spam.” > ― The Harvard Lampoon, Bored of the Rings ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2023, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-lord-of-the-rings-thoughts/986810/17 "2023-07-09T16:51:17Z")
> "We are stealthy Green Toupées > Skulking nights and snoozing days, > A team of silent, nasty men, > Who all think Sorhed’s numbah ten. > > Draw their fire > Flank on right > Narcs retire > Fight-team-fight! > > Using every grungy trick > From booby trap to pungee stick > We hardly need the strength of thirty > When we can win by playing dirty. > > Two-four-six-eight > Tiptoe, sneak > And infiltrate > Cha-cha-cha." ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2023, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-lord-of-the-rings-thoughts/986810/18 "2023-07-09T17:09:22Z")
I love the idea that Sauron cares what color horses his guys ride. Can’t have the Witch King ride up on a palomino, people might not appreciate how capital-E-Evil he is. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Bravo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_bravo/32/493_2.png) [@Johnny\_Bravo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Bravo)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2023, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-lord-of-the-rings-thoughts/986810/19 "2023-07-09T17:14:37Z")
I’m picturing an orc horse trainer all dressed up in tattered black robes to get them used to their future riders. ---
**Author:** ![mbh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2023, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-lord-of-the-rings-thoughts/986810/20 "2023-07-09T18:13:00Z")
The idea does have precedent. In pre-revolutionary France, the royal bodyguard had two companies: The Gray Musketeers, who all rode gray horses, and the Black Musketeers, who all rode black horses. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-lord-of-the-rings-thoughts/986810.md?page=2)