# Silly rant about a stupid commercial

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-rant-about-a-stupid-commercial/185858>\
**Category:** The BBQ Pit\
**Created:** [July 2, 2003, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-rant-about-a-stupid-commercial/185858 "2003-07-02T20:26:06Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 5

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![japatlgt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df705f/32.png) [@japatlgt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/japatlgt)\
**Post date:** [July 6, 2003, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-rant-about-a-stupid-commercial/185858/81 "2003-07-06T02:13:59Z")

</div>

“[Nashvillehelpwanted.com](http://Nashvillehelpwanted.com). Long name, ama-a-a-a-aa-zing (stupid bitch trying to sound like it’s cute) results!” Really stupid commercials (radio) and the advertiser is wasting it’s time (a loser). Please leave me alone! I’m just trying to listen to the goddamn radio! I don’t want to hear your stupid commercial for the umpteenth time this hour!

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![rhysean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ac8455/32.png) [@rhysean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rhysean)\
**Post date:** [July 6, 2003, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-rant-about-a-stupid-commercial/185858/82 "2003-07-06T02:24:38Z")

</div>

The worst thing about Marineland commercials is that my kids have learned all the words…to every season…and sing them all everytime we get in the car.

Once we went to Marineland…it was the most sad and horrible place I’ve ever been, all the animals seemed somehow deformed and hideous. There was a bear with no nose. Anyway, why are bears & deer featured attractions there? I’m pretty sure they are not actually marine creatures, but who am I?

I definitely do not love Marineland.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![rhysean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ac8455/32.png) [@rhysean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rhysean)\
**Post date:** [July 6, 2003, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-rant-about-a-stupid-commercial/185858/83 "2003-07-06T02:24:49Z")

</div>

The worst thing about Marineland commercials is that my kids have learned all the words…to every season…and sing them all every time we get in the car.

Once we went to Marineland…it was the most sad and horrible place I’ve ever been, all the animals seemed somehow deformed and hideous. There was a bear with no nose. Anyway, why are bears & deer featured attractions there? I’m pretty sure they are not actually marine creatures, but who am I?

I definitely do not love Marineland.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Jaade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/dfb087/32.png) [@Jaade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaade)\
**Post date:** [July 6, 2003, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-rant-about-a-stupid-commercial/185858/84 "2003-07-06T02:25:18Z")

</div>

> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by amarinth \*  
> \*\*It’s true, though.  
> If you have sensitive enough teeth to need sensodyne, you’re going to be using it for life. Apparently, there’s something in it that temporarily stops the pain, and that wears off over time (less time than you usually let go between brushings) - other toothpastes don’t have whatever it is in them, so once whatever it is wears off, if you haven’t reapplied it, your teeth will start hurting again. (learned the hard way)  
> I’m going to be using Sensodyne forever. \*\*

This is true, you took the words right out of my mouth…err…so to speak. 🙂

~J

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![rhysean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ac8455/32.png) [@rhysean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rhysean)\
**Post date:** [July 6, 2003, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-rant-about-a-stupid-commercial/185858/85 "2003-07-06T02:28:04Z")

</div>

Sorry about the double post.

Speaking of Ontario commercials, I also detest the  
Faaa–brrrric—laaaand, FABRICLAND  
ones.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\
**Post date:** [July 6, 2003, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-rant-about-a-stupid-commercial/185858/86 "2003-07-06T02:28:55Z")

</div>

AArrrgghhh!@!!!b Now I’ve got that damn Marineland song stuck in my head! But, you know? I’ve never been there. The closest I’ve ever gotten is seeing home video of a Marineland-type captive-dolphin attraction in **New Zealand**. 🙂

Fifty million years from now, when all the humans that have ever existed are exhumed from the universal matrix and given bodily form again, they’ll be able to tell which ones grew up in Southern Ontario during the last quarter of the twentieth century CE because those ones will flinch when somebody recites the seven digits “967-11-11” to them. The worst cases will start to sing, in a helpless strangled whimper, “Phone Pizza Pizza, hey hey hey…”

_twitch_

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![NinjaChick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@NinjaChick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinjaChick)\
**Post date:** [July 6, 2003, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-rant-about-a-stupid-commercial/185858/87 "2003-07-06T02:42:17Z")

</div>

Ads that get me pissed off:

1. The Gary Barbera car ads on Philadelphia radio stations. Screaming. For a full minute. _twitch_

2. The Car-Sense car ads on Philly radio stations, with the couple-from-hell who are on crack. I think they’re trying to be witty and perhaps speak in limerick form, alternating lines. All they achieve is inducing vomiting.

3. I saw the Taco-Bell commercial with the crunchy red strips. My father is also there. He turns to me, and asks what I was thinking: “What on earth is that supposed to be?”

4. The “My choice, My WaWa” ads. No, it’s not _your_ Wawa (convienence store), unless you’re the manager. And hey, look, it’s my choice to not go to your store, because your ads suck (and 7-11 has more TastyKakes…)

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![SpasticKitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ebca7d/32.png) [@SpasticKitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpasticKitty)\
**Post date:** [July 6, 2003, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-rant-about-a-stupid-commercial/185858/88 "2003-07-06T03:54:41Z")

</div>

> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by japatlgt \*  
> \*\*“[Nashvillehelpwanted.com](http://Nashvillehelpwanted.com). Long name, ama-a-a-a-aa-zing (stupid bitch trying to sound like it’s cute) results!” Really stupid commercials (radio) and the advertiser is wasting it’s time (a loser). Please leave me alone! I’m just trying to listen to the goddamn radio! I don’t want to hear your stupid commercial for the umpteenth time this hour! \*\*

Wow, and all this time I thought those [helpwanted.com](http://helpwanted.com) commercials were just a local West Virginia thing being done by some crappy local actors who couldn’t find a better gig. Turns out that stupid bitch is annoying radio listeners everywhere with her fake Jewish-mother-stereotype accent. (At least, that’s what is sounds like to me)

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Ms\_Macphisto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b487fb/32.png) [@Ms\_Macphisto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ms_Macphisto)\
**Post date:** [July 6, 2003, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-rant-about-a-stupid-commercial/185858/89 "2003-07-06T04:19:15Z")

</div>

The worst part about the Marineland commercials is we sometimes get them here in Vancouver! I can’t remember what channel I’ve seen it on, but it’s annoying as hell. Who in their right mind would travel across the country just to go to an aquarium? So not only is it annoying, it’s pointlessly annoying. And now, like everyone else who has ever been subjected to it, I’ve got the jingle stuck in my head. Aagghh!!! Make it stop!

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![fizzygoodmakefeelnice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8491ac/32.png) [@fizzygoodmakefeelnice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fizzygoodmakefeelnice)\
**Post date:** [July 6, 2003, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-rant-about-a-stupid-commercial/185858/90 "2003-07-06T13:02:24Z")

</div>

“Not Pies, PINE”.

The witty slogan for a local pine furniture shop.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\
**Post date:** [July 6, 2003, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-rant-about-a-stupid-commercial/185858/91 "2003-07-06T14:04:00Z")

</div>

They have another particularly annoying and befuddling one in this area. “Anything you want, anything you need, anything you want, think Belmont!” Anything? You sell TVs, but I can see you about, say… a part in a porno film?

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![ArtyDooDoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/13edae/32.png) [@ArtyDooDoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArtyDooDoo)\
**Post date:** [July 6, 2003, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-rant-about-a-stupid-commercial/185858/92 "2003-07-06T15:12:16Z")

</div>

“Theres a place I know in Ontario”

_ducks_

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![eman77](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f04885/32.png) [@eman77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eman77)\
**Post date:** [July 6, 2003, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-rant-about-a-stupid-commercial/185858/93 "2003-07-06T17:11:53Z")

</div>

A couple years back there was a Ramada commercial and it was staring some doll (They were advertising some childrenš video coming out). Anyways besides the commercial being a total pain in the ass for adults of all ages it really showed Ramada in a bad light and they didn’t even realize it. It showed the workers there dropping luggage onto the doll they were supposed to bring to the peopleš rooms and other things I can’t remember. It was just plain stupid advertising.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![eman77](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f04885/32.png) [@eman77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eman77)\
**Post date:** [July 6, 2003, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-rant-about-a-stupid-commercial/185858/94 "2003-07-06T17:14:49Z")

</div>

“A rollercoaster ride runnin through the sky”

Sorry about skipping to the middle of the song, I just haven’t heard it in such a long time I couldn’t remember the beginning.  
BTW now that I’m in Latvia I was expecting to see a billboard sign for Cellino and Barnes around here.  
Injured?

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![XCchick22](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/e19b73/32.png) [@XCchick22](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/XCchick22)\
**Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-rant-about-a-stupid-commercial/185858/95 "2003-07-07T04:38:54Z")

</div>

There’s a really horrible local commercial here, and I don’t even remember what it was supposed to be advertising. It featured a 17 or 18 year old boy having a nightmare and doing the whole “No! No!” sleep-screaming thing. Then, his mom, who is sleeping with him in the bed, wakes him up and pitches whatever the product is. Why was his mom sleeping with him? The commercial would have been significantly less-weird if she would have just stood beside the bed to wake him up, but for some reason the compan decided to make a commercial that seemed to be about incest, which totally leaves the viwer unable to remember anything he or she was actually supposed to remember about the ad.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\
**Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-rant-about-a-stupid-commercial/185858/96 "2003-07-07T04:43:18Z")

</div>

But, was she a MILF?

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Kanelda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Kanelda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kanelda)\
**Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-rant-about-a-stupid-commercial/185858/97 "2003-07-07T05:07:52Z")

</div>

Well, this commercial isn’t nearly as bad as most of the others mentioned…

It’s a Tampax (I think) Pearl commercial that was shown during nearly **every** commercial break on TNN this past friday\*.

A blonde girl, dressed in all white is at a party and goes upstairs to change her tampon and, being the classy, intelligent girl she supposedly is, puts her fancy tampon on the edge of an open window.

Surprise, surprise! It falls out!

So she rummages around under her host(ess?)'s sink, wrinkles her nose at the tampons she finds, but gets a remarkable idea when she sees the pads!

She then strings the tampons together, sticks a pad on the end, and lowers the whole deal out the window to grab her fancy tampon (which is on a bush beside a large window), while her boyfriend talks about how “super classy” and intelligent she is (and behind him you see the tampon rope).  
Now, maybe it bothers me because I saw that damn commercial so many damn times that day (was watching some James Bond marathon with my mom), but… what the hell? I’m sure her hostess just LOVED having all of her tampons used up to rescue some fancy thing the blonde girl was too good to use :rolleyes:

\*Why the hell is “The first network for MEN” constantly showing a **tampon** commercial?

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![lorinada](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b5e925/32.png) [@lorinada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorinada)\
**Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-rant-about-a-stupid-commercial/185858/98 "2003-07-07T05:31:21Z")

</div>

> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by SmackFu \*  
> \*\*So now caesar salad officially contains chicken? \*\*

Thank you, **SmackFu**. IMHO, almost all restaurants - fast and otherwise - these days ought to be calling their salads “Caesar-style” or somesuch. Wendy’s, as much as I love them, shoudl keep the name completely out of their salad. IMHO.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\
**Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 11:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-rant-about-a-stupid-commercial/185858/99 "2003-07-07T11:33:25Z")

</div>

> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by NoClueBoy \*  
> \*\*But, was she a MILF? \*\*

I thought i knew all the Board acronyms, but this one stumped me. What’s a “MILF”?

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\
**Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 11:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-rant-about-a-stupid-commercial/185858/100 "2003-07-07T11:38:14Z")

</div>

Mother I’d Like to Fondle

[Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-rant-about-a-stupid-commercial/185858.md?page=4)

[Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-rant-about-a-stupid-commercial/185858.md?page=6)
